BODY KISS

When doves cry.

I have been listening to nothing by The Isley Brothers for the last couple of days. I reckon I could be a great mini cab driver soon. I just have to be able to deal with the smell of those trees. Anyway there are two songs you really need to check out - one is called "I Like" written by and featuring R Kelly and Snoop Dogg. The other one is called "Body Kiss" which is a slow, sexual and spiritual jam that is like flies caught in syrup on a hot day - it is sweet and sickly - especially the kissy noises that Ronald does through the song and L'il Kim sounds real husky and dirty too even though they have put auto tuner on her vocals. Amazing. LOL. Amazing delivery by Mr Biggs. His voice is exquisite. Slow jammer. See I told you I should be a mini cab driver.

Not like the poor pigeon above which is more like the state of my life than the vibes going on in an R&B jam. Having said that, I had an amazing time last night. In a suspect outfit I met with Mr Chips, The Cardinal, Jappers and Bird Cage and went to Cocadisco for some above and below the waist dancing. There I saw SPENNY TUNGATE OMG - he is the greatest dancer - gave myself serious bruises fisting Rachel and got spit on by Paul Pieroni who was doing really incredible floor skids. I was super impressed.



Julianiswatching was also there and looked like a cheese string on the dance floor and pulled some pretty impressive shapes. He's a super sexual dancer!! I would want to be his friend if he didn't spend the whole night inferring I was fat by trying to tickle me all night. There are only two places I'm ticklish and one of them is my inner thigh. The other is more available to the general public so I'm not going to tell. Though my father was a big one for tickles so I spent my childhood years developing the power of mind over matter as an invisible force field for tickle threats.



Earlier in the evening I had a really interesting conversation with James and Amph keeping my eye on what is really important. Here we see the guys eye to eye discussing man to man stuff.

Even earlier in the day, Carri came to see me at the shop. I made her pose for hours while I worked out the flash on the camera that Mrs Kipling has leant me.



Don't think she found it such a chore. When other visitors came in to see me I had to kick them all out cause we were having a really good conversation about tummy rolls and the best meal deals from KFC. Carri and I are high rollers you may have noticed. No fucking junior spesh for us for one pound fifty.



Genuine good times. So much fun! God yesterday turned out to be WWIICCKKEEDD.



Probably cause I went and had a proper dinner for a change at The Giaconda Dining room. It is on Denmark Street. It is so good.

xx Lektrogirl

ABBA GO YOU MUG

For the record, I don't even really like ABBA but I have just really got into them when they sing in other languages. Also, it is kind of fitting - a lot of the customers today have been Aussies too - Muriel's Wedding and all.



Commendations to the creator of this video who has spent some time with the Windows Movie Maker software using every transition possible. Perhaps they would use OneTrueMedia these days - the method of choice for modern pimps.

xx Lekrogirl

P.S. Gotta add



Watching this does give me spiritual homeland vibes chills up my spine. You can take the girl out of Australia but you can't take Australia out of the girl.

I HURT PHIL

I hurt his feelings. It was a mistake. I can see that. I see his passion and his pain. Both of those things start with P. So does his name. But Philip sounds more like it starts with an F.



And today I am in the Shop sitting in the cool basement with my shoes off and feet up on a stool listening to ABBA sung in Swedish in a shirt I bought last summer and never wore and I went looking for some sandals this morning and couldn't find them and found the shirt instead. I had already changed three times but still didn't feel right but I found the shirt and my life just fell into place. I wonder if I can work Max's laptop to make a video like Mr Chips did? I hesitate only because I worry I will end up looking like I have an double chin.

xx Lektrogirl

MY DREAM

My intense sleep therapy is finally budging my cold. When I cough it doesn't sound like a have a lump of phlegm the size of a small octopus in my throat. The other bonus is that I have started to have dreams again. All the time. About all kinds of things. Sometimes based on midnight phone conversations I have had. Other times just random stuff.



I dreamt I was back at school with friends. I had been expelled but was determined to stay for as long as possible to learn more and eat the free food. As I walked up a hill into a forgotten building, I saw a man who had the most beautiful face. He asked me if I needed saving. We spoke very closely to one another so that I could feel his breath on my face. We kept out conversation secret from a short woman. I told him I did and we left together. Then we walked into a street market where there were strands of seaweed for sale. He had become a woman and was no longer the calm beautiful person I met.

The thing is, I keep dreaming about seaweed ALL the time at the moment. And it always looks the type of seaweed. Apparently to see seaweed in your dream, suggests that you need to rely on your intuition and trust your instincts.

As for the slug in the photo above - I don't think I would trust him. He was getting along really fast. Slugs are meant to be slow right?

Music I'm listening to right now:

R Kelly vs Ginuwine IN THOSE JEANS. [Two Homies for the homos.]





There is someone out there who makes this internet thug cry something terrible.

xx Lektrogirl

WZUP BITCHES

Phleeze re-evaluate that shit





xx Lektrogirl

GOOD

WEB 2.0

Lord Fauntleroy said that there is no such thing. [You can see that it was doomed from the off.]

I beg to differ and what I consider to be Web 2.0 - Facebook, Myspace, Friendster [remember that! LOL I wish I could remember my login and password] FLICKR [oh where would I be without you] and of course Blogger, rounded corners and scribble fonts.

An aside:
"OH yes! So yes I was right! My blogger files are on my server Lord Fauntleroy! You didn't believe me."

So tonight Drx and I chatted on ICQ like it was the good old days when we would chat on micromusic about Scooter, Marcel Masters would pop up every now and again with his hello kitty picture [OH MY DAYS - I think we had to have him banned or an official warning] and about falling in love and falling out of love and other such interesting matters. [No I never ripped out someone's spine and shoved it down their throat but I was close.] Drx told me that I must post something new on my blog for him to read in the morning or he will blow up the whole internet. I would like to see him try. I asked Bitch Ass Darius if the internet could ever 'run out' one day and he told me 'no' and explained about all kinds of things that would make it impossible.

Tonight, Drx and I used the internet to discuss Photoshop and it's use to erase identity on the internet. I had found a wonderful collection from a Flickr user who was quite good at drawing sunglasses on his nudie wife.



And himself



Drx reminded me of this project on Nasty Nets

Here are two favourites from the collection


What a poser.


Hugged by a blob.

I wish I could find the pictures of the woman who has the pool cue up her fanny that I found while chatting to Silverlink one night on Facebook with the womans face all scratched out with the pencil tool but alas, I have no clue where they are right now.

OH YEAH and does anyone remember that gay website where men would discuss the interiors of people homes who had post nudie shots of themselves online around with the bodies all blanked out? It was amazing and big in like 2000 or so. If anyone remembers anything about this site please let me know. It was HILARIOUS. I submitted a picture of a friend of mine who was dressed in a rubber outfit cause the shelves behind him were atrocious.

Anyway - not a lot of gossip in this post or anything like that. I just had to do it to save the internet for all of us tomorrow lest Drx try to get up to no good.

xx Lektrogirl

THANKS

Beach Posing, originally uploaded by ▒▒▒▒▒.

So just as I was going to watch another Almodovar movie and have some quiet chill out "L'Oreal Me Time" and chosen which one out of the remaining three DVD's I have to hand to watch next [I'm going to watch Live Flesh FYI] my neighbours decide the time is right for them to have some "L'Oreal Them Time" and started what I can only describe as 'screwing' cause it is exactly what they sounded like they were doing on one particular bed spring.

So I came out to the front room to I don't know, quietly check some YouTube or whatever to find Drx has had this picture up his sleeve to send me today.

xx

BETTER

I REALLY MISS ABBIE AND LEE. Here is a picture of Coco, their cat, who is now living in Berlin with them. I can't stop thinking about this picture. Maybe I should get Covvo to send me a full sized version to get printed for my house.

Also, just checked the Maison B blog and saw this video that Pippa made of the twin 'hip rolling'. Mega LOLZ.



And although they will probably kill me for mentioning it - I just had the most mega laugh out loud moment when I was on the phone to a friend overhearing them have an argument with one of their parents about half a lettuce. It was the best thing ever.

xx Lektrogirl

xx Emma

IN THE MOOD

Strawberry Pudding., originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

So want it right now.

YERRR REALLY HIDEOUS

It is no secret - I have been really vile lately. To everyone. To myself. To one person in particular who I think the world of and I have been a TOTAL loser. To other people who I have met along the way and really wasn't thinking clearly. I can't scrub any of that out. I wish I could. But I'm so like Cher on a warship right now you'd be like confused as to who was who. You Get Me?

So what changed? Well having someone unhappy with me really wasn't a good look. But waking up and feeling homesick and hung over and dreading another day unfolding. It felt like a long time ago. I really thought those days were far behind me. The turning point came when Fambles came over and watched TV with me. I did nothing but lie there while Fambles watched some show about the pilgrimage to Mecca. We didn't speak. Then today was the cure: I got the opportunity to have a big cry in an office with a man I just met [I don't know why - I always find men easier to talk to, especially strangers] and then I scooted off into town to meet Fambles again and go shopping. It was so good to have some serious old jokes times on a spiritual level.

*******
I just tried to explain two of the best jokes from the day and one involved preferring to get AIDS than have unprotected sex and the other about a guy with a camo backpack who walked past us. Neither joke translates at all.
*******

So yeah, the storm is over for now. I've been a dick. I was totally why u onnu bad mind? Like totally getting your period in a posh pair of expensive knickers. The worst. [This did not actually happen - it was an allegory: i.e. ON A PAR]

xx Lektrogirl

HERE'S MY FRIEND SARATEA

floridaoct, originally uploaded by saratea.

No relation to Alex, and only internet friends cause we never met. But I suspect sneakily from her pictures that we are quite similar.

I have to say a big thank you to Marisa and Sara though who both have commented on the most recent Leica selfportrait that I don't look ming.

Today has been totes weird. Well let's make that the last week. I feel like an eaten mango all turned inside out. I had to ask the Fambles to come over and just lie and watch TV with me for a half hour to get some normality back in my day. I spend too much time on my own in this house and end up telling people all kinds of dark things in the middle of the night that are too freaky [in a Rick James kind of way if he was into S&M] or crying over spilt milk.

Went to WORK IT with The Cardinal and Lord Fauntleroy, met up with Carri and bumped into Antoinette. Antoinette and I bragged about the fact we had no bra on each and flashed our boobs to each other then got a bit seductive with the dance moves - not overly though. Please don't start sending in requests for pictures YGM. I have to say however that if I was to turn that way inclines, Antoinette would be one of the first babes I hit on. Only after drinking a bottle of Malibu myself and plying her with another. Lord Fauntleroy pissed me off again by lecturing me on how shit Garage is and that it isn't a real dance music cause it is for the waist up only and proper dance music is for the waist down. For dancing like one of the Marley's. Then he did this very cool dance that illustrated his point succinctly. For such a total nerd he is a pretty special creature. But we both know that we are a total different species to one another so I don't think we will be going on a date any time soon. Nevertheless he is exactly the kind of friend I need. Except for the part where he told me I was a waist up dancer and he was disappointed. I told him that he was just cramping my style. Please Booty Carrell at this juncture stand up for me cause you know me so well.

xx Lektrogirl

OH YERRR AND FUCK ME - who was the cunt who thought it would be a funny idea to play Midnight Request Line or whatever that dubstep horror song is called and ruin my WHOLE party vibes. SO BAD. GIVE IT A FUCKING REST.

TODAY TAKE TWO

So Flickr is back in action. Well not so many pictures yet cause I ran the battery down taking 1000 pictures of myself trying to work out all the settings on Mrs Kipling's Leica. It seems to be a very cold and unforgiving camera.

I went into town - everyone was L'Orealing themselves with me time [because they are worth it] - so it was a solo mission. And at more than one point I felt myself to be like a helium balloon and having trouble breathing. I think that it is still my flu. I didn't really enjoy my lunch at the Nordic Bakery today and Ladurée left me feeling a little short changed.

However through the throngs of foreign students w/ colour coded backpacks queuing outside Abercrombie & Fitch [much to the chagrin of not only me trying to get to the Burlington Arcade but to the small packs of homosexual men in distressed denim, crisp shirts and aviator sunglasses who couldn't believe they were going to have to line up to cruise A&F] I decided a few things concretely for myself:

1] Lord Fauntleroy is right. I deserve better.
2] I'm banning myself from Facebook for a while. I've turned into a wasteman. I speak in LOL speak to shop assistants. YGM. Not on! [OJ LOL]
3] And I can't go on letting myself look like this any more:



JESUS CHRIST. I've been acting like it back like 1996 - 1999 again and that wasn't a good look then.

Having said that though, tonight is WORK IT and yerrrr DANCE!

xx Lektrogirl

SPIRITUAL

Emma's Personal Hexagram:
21: Cutting Through

Saturday, July 19th, 2008
Hexagram 21

General Meaning: The situation calls for confronting a tenacious knot and cutting through it. Somehow, the way to harmony and unity is blocked or frustrated - perhaps by a tangle of deceit or corruption. Like Alexander the Great cutting the Gordian knot, take decisive action and you will meet with good fortune. Don't be afraid to shake things up a bit. The ability to take corrective measures, when they are needed, is an essential trait of true leadership.

But those who bring discipline to bear must, above all, be honest - with others, and with themselves. Honesty is the hallmark of the strong and self-confident. The successful person masters the art of honesty much as a swordsman masters fencing. When lies, delusions and game-playing are getting in the way of teamwork, a swift sword of honest action, perhaps even punishment, must be wielded to protect one's integrity and values. Decisiveness with integrity at a time like this brings good fortune.

Though your actions be vigorous, they must not be hasty, severe, or arbitrary. Be sure to carefully consider all the circumstances. In the case of a serious disruption of relations or events, you must forgive, but not forget - at least until a person has made reparation for his mistakes. If corrective action is necessary, make certain that it fits the crime. When rules have become slack and useless, only through the institution of clear and swift penalties can their effectiveness be restored.

In situations where serious issues of justice are at stake, keep careful records, and do not hesitate to go public with the truth.