Well all of them look a bit tired.
September 2, 2010
September 1, 2010
OH GOD SO SORRY
I’ve been so busy with new boyfriend, work, travel – sorry I haven’t posted in a while.
I don’t really need to write this post, but I was lying in bed thinking about how I was going to have to do some serious excuse making. But then I got on Facebook and saw Cory Arcangel had made this instead:
http://sorry.coryarcangel.com/
So just read that an piece together a better excuse than mine for not hanging round here much lately.
August 26, 2010
NEW THINGS
Many new things and things changing. I only have a couple of seconds for this.
You may think I my time is being eaten up by the new boyfriend. No.
I have a new HTC Desire phone. Totally obsessed.
If anyone knows a shortcut way to making your own live wallpapers let me know. Because I really want to make one without having to geek out too much.
Another new thing in my life is the Comme des Garcons eau de toilette I bought last night in the Sherbet series – I got the Peppermint one. Only now a quick Google search has revealed there is a RHUBARB one as well.
The consumerism of a spoilt white western girl is never fully satiated is it?
August 23, 2010
August 19, 2010
THOUGHTS FROM THE MONTAGUE PYKE
Why is it in the video for the David Guetta song with Akon everything is in slow motion when the song is fast and party vibes?
Why am I sitting alone at a table for 6 when every other table is rammed?
Where can I go for dinner tomorrow night as The Giaconda Dining room is closed for summer?
How long can I stretch a G&T out for?
Why did that dog have to die for the other dog to drag it off the highway to becopme a MIME?
Will I remember my camera and passport for work tomorrow?
Will I remember to post that audio of the !ush 1oman getting attacked by a wild pig in her own home soon?
Has Hobart savaged her meerkat buddie today and ripped off his maroon velvetten bathrobe?
Will it last 559 days?
Is Paris going to go smoothly?
Will everything go okay for my boss?
Will the nurse be successful in the morning? Probably not but we’ll have a laugh no doubt.
Forever etc
August 18, 2010
MEERCATS
There is a stirring in the meercat nest today. Not all the cats woke up happy.
I didn’t sleep so well last night. The bed broke. And the person I was sleeping with leapt out of bed in the middle of the night and cried “THE SHIRTS” with real panic, touched all the washing hanging on the clothes horse, and climbed gently back into bed. He had no recollection of it in the morning.
So lets rewind a few weeks to my blog when all I had to write about was my terrible online dating progress. How things change. Now I have stories about walking around ASDA in High Wycombe telling New Boyf that I am going to make a Piñata in the shape of his head for his next birthday and how all his friends will love me because they will be able to bash his head with a stick and it will be full of so many sweets cause I could fit so many in there. I really laughed. He didn’t really. Now before my dear friends say “WITCHY!!” may I just point out the irony of that situation is HE ACTUALLY SAID HE WAS GOING TO MAKE A PINATA OF MY HEAD FIRST.
In a wind up of the online dating experience, I have either found someone great OR this is going to end up being the biggest wind up shit storm of all. If there can be anything worse than taking 20 magic mushrooms with a fully clothed guy but with his dick out that Philippa works with at an office party of hers while soldering new Lady Gaga outfits with LED lights getting fingered by a trademark lawyer who works at Shell. Or not. I dont think this will end up bad. I worry that it is all too much of a good thing and the universe will explode everything in my face like a giant abscess filled with the equivalent of 4 litres of melted butteresque pusy matter. But then who knows maybe not. I am never very good with change. But I try my best.
I just know I have a little cat at home who is waiting for me and I am going to bring her a little meercat doll I saw at the shop that she will love I am sure and then I am going to set up a livestream that I can log into any time and check out what the little cat is up to.
Who wants a cup of tea?
August 17, 2010
REMIND ME AGAIN
Can someone remind me that I have a life outside of work and I dont hate it that much>?!!?!?!
FISH AND CHIPS
I had such a nice time last night with my little finger puppet friend in the background.
Today is pretty awful.
August 16, 2010
HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEKEND
Was not the parking ticket, but seeing Hobart happy. She really is my number 1 girlfriend. Someone dared call her an “ickle cat” VOMM on Facebook – not one of my friends I hasten to add – and retribution is coming this persons way. Revenge is best served cold. She will fucking die though when she leasts expects it. Something gross like getting a really heavy period in a white dress or something. She will then think twice about calling the cat of all cats ICKLE and making me want to lose my lunch.
August 13, 2010
MY LUCKY DAY
My lucky number is 13 and I live in house number 13. And one plus three is 4 which is a nice and stable number.
I also believe Anton LeVay when he says:
Satanic music is not heavy-metal rock & roll… the music of supposed satanic groups such as AC/DC and Slayer is not really occult, because millions of people hear their songs on records and in concerts. What is really occult is what no one ever listens to anymore, songs that were popular but now are long forgotten, such as ‘Telstar’ and ‘Yes, We Have No Bananas.’ LaVey keeps a list of such lost songs. He believes that by playing them, he releases their power.
Music is a magical tool, a universal language… f you wanted it to rain, for instance, you could play every song with rain in the title. If no one else is playing those songs, there is still a certain charge in them. It might just rain.
So whoever it is playing all the rain songs and writing letters to the Church of Satan, can you please stop?
August 12, 2010
WHERE HAVE I BEEN
Hey Everyone,
Where have I been? All the way to Buddah’s fingers and back [if you saw that episode of Monkey you will know what I am talking about.] The universe is great but for all the happiness in life there is always work to do. You dont get anything for free. I hate being told what to do, or even generally advised, or having a hint or a breath of someone even maybe thinking of looking in my direction with a suggestion – BUT – it’s it is also wonderful having things change for growing and learning and thinking about the world in a new way. So anyone around me can’t win and needs the patience of a saint. Or a woman dressed as a male priest with a bald head.
So apart from spiritual enlightenment on top of a pink cloud or under a mountain with a metal band around my head, I have been out getting wrecked.
On top of that, my computer at home is in total crisis meltdown. I can’t use it for anything of consquence.
COMMUTER TRAIN
I’m a commuter. In three day old clothes. Uberwalk of shame.
I feel totally spent.
I night of sleep with a pretty cat will be lovely.
August 11, 2010
SO MATURE
Left on my own in his house this morning, rather than snoop through all the cupboards, I got on the Wii and deleted his ex-girlfriends Mii and replaced it with R Kelly, created by GOD.
Feeling satisfied I played a few rounds of Mario Kart as Bones then went and cleaned the kitchen worktops and stove as much as I could be bothered channelling my African sister, Dora.
Some days I am blissfully happy.
August 9, 2010
MATHIEU
Finally you did something that didn’t make me laugh.
Don’t do it again, okay?
I love you.
x
