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August 27, 2007

OH WHAT A NIGHT!!

My Saturday started so well – Pippa and I knocked the VAT on the head, we managed to work out iMovie together [I prefer Windows Movie Maker FYI] and she made this cute little movie about nearly all the food we ate all day.

You might think that is kind of a random thing to go posting first when I have such cool pics to show you, but trust me – this is going somewhere.

So, after work Pippa and I knocked a bottle of Rosé on the head with “finger food” sized portions of chips at the Coach and Horses. Then who should roll up but the old 7 Year Glitch crew with DJ Assault.


Happy Days. Everyone has their best Photoface[TM] on.

I lept up and introduced myself to DJ Assault with a big kiss although I have to say I couldn’t believe ASBO D would have the nerve to turn up smiling after the last time I saw him was in the Macbeth and he said to me “PREPARE TO FEEL THE FULL FORCE OF MY HATRED” with his eyes nearly bugging out of his head. I found it a bit sexual at the time. But more about the full force of ASBO’s hatred later.


DJ Assault has both his hands full with our F.U.P.A.’s
Hard to believe but true, I had cracked DJ Assault up with a few jokes ranging from some smutty innuendo offering to suck his dick [and I thought Americans didn't have that kind of sense of humour!] and also explaining to him what showerface means. And Pippa has a picture to prove it but I sure as hell hope this NEVER surfaces on the internet. In this picture, Philippa and I are trying to hold it together after DJ Assault explains in secret what F.U.P.A. means – and there I was thinking he had said ‘faux pas’ trying to tell him he had bad French. Little did I know it was an acronym for FAT UPPER PUSSY AREA.


DJ Assault with All Dem Hoes
What the fuck I look like I don’t know – I’m sideways and wider than everyone else in the picture. Philippa and Pippa have bonded after realising that they both have identical names – both Philippa Ann. Philippa found out today at some carnival that Pippa is Greek for blow job. I must remember to tell Pippa that when I see her next.


Like the end of a tin of Quality Street you always end up with an odd assortment.
Even so, isn’t my ex-husband beautiful? Next time XXCENSOREDXX you wanna go flirt with him, you better watch out cause I look at this picture and it just makes me want to hate you more you rat headed sharp faced hoe.


Big Ups to DJ Assault for keeping it straight edge with a secret exlir juice that Pippa was getting the bar to make for him. I thought he was into milk, but he told me that he doesn’t drink that any more cause he had to watch his physique. DJ Assault is so sweet and funny. I even got to see under his hat. He is perfect for cuddling.

See:

I’ve only got a little bit of a crush on DJ Assault now. But I don’t really know how happy he is with me after I told him the girl on his t-shirt had no ass or titties. Tho’ that didn’t stop him from staring and my titties all night. He said he wasn’t but he so was!

So after a jolly night drinking ASBO sped off into the night with DJ Assault and we [I?] decided it would be an incredible idea to go to Trisha’s. I already had a skin full on an empty stomach.

From this:

To this:

I have to tell the whole world THANK YOU BRAINS and I’m so sorry for making those coupld of jokes you found too personal. You are my hero for staying with me until 4am in Soho while I puked my soul up. Then convincing the Somali cab driver I wasn’t to wrecked to take me home.

This song is for you:

Anway fans and party people, the last time I was ill like that was in Tasmania 10 years ago and my mother had to take me to the doctor to get an injection to make me stop wretching when there was NOTHING left. I had been longing for my old days for a while now – thinking “Life was so much more exciting when I was 25″ but I really know that I would rather be 35…

xx Lektrogirl

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