Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

January 7, 2008

XXCENSOREDXX


So, I now have a picture of XXCENSOREDXX and I keep it in my oyster card wallet. When you tap in, you don’t even have to open the card wallet so it isn’t as romantic as it sounds I guess. What is very romantic is that he has my birthday written in his Smythsons birthday book. I am guessing that XXCENSOREDXX is trying to seduce me for my Marni bag.

XXCENSOREDXX and I met tonight and had some incredible gossiping. I heard the most gruesome and fabulous story about two gay men. Gayer 1 went into the bathroom of Gayer 2 and started snooping through the cupboards [as you do. I hate it when you do that and the bathroom cabinet has a massive door bang that you aren't expecting or something] and found some jumbo tampons. Gayer 1 was really confused cause Gayer 2 was living alone and had no sister / friend that would have reason to leave jumbo tampons in his bathroom cabinet. At the time, XXCENSOREDXX and I were eating these layered cakes, the bottom layer seemed to have absorbed a rather large amount of liquid. It was quite strange and was rather unpleasant to eat. Even more so as this story progressed. So Gayer 1 didn’t know what to do. He was curious about the tampons but didn’t know how to ask without appearing as though he had been poking through all the cupboards in the bathroom. Finally Gayer 1’s curiosity got the better of him and his asked Gayer 2 about it who was totally casual and replied “They are like for you know, after fisting I used them for absorbing all the slops.”

I had to put my fork down.

After trying to get away with paying the wrong bill that was 5 pounds cheaper than the correct one, XXCENSOREDXX and I went for an evening stroll to Carnaby Street. I wish again I could make it out to be romantic, but it was just so that XXCENSOREDXX could use the free ATMs there. On the way you will never guess what we saw:


None other than London’s number 1 urban blogger moonlighting in the Agent Provocateur window for some extra cash in a dishevilled Danielle Lloyd WAG wig and an ill fitting bra on the right cup. The pair of mannequins were standing in saw dust pretending to be at the circus. You could almost smell the piss from outside the window.

Finally, check out Pippa’s latest video. I’m not really sure what it is for but my friend Alex looks amazing in it. [She is the one with the doll face and the bobbed hair]

xx Lektrogirl

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