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December 28, 2008

THE APOLOGY


Darren Sylvester – Just Death Is True 2006

I lay on the sofa and stared at the ceiling and listened to what seemed like an apology. Was it?
My mind kept wandering with more questions I wanted to ask. He said that I fell silent. I said ‘I didn’t think I should butt in for once.” As it appeared he was trying to apologise.
Well not sorry for what he had done I don’t think – but sorry for how it made me feel. Apparently he thought I was mad with him. But I had another million questions. There was no time. I went through this all once before. I have too many questions. And like VaVaValeria says: I think too much.

And it must be true. A man in a long coat said it to me today on the corner of Tottenham Court Road and Oxford Street outside the station there. What is it with that corner? It is skanky. Who are these kind of weird hustlers there now? Two weeks ago there was the man following me down the street. And today. The man. He said “Hello!!” as he walked past. Next thing I knew he had doubled back and was standing next to me at the traffic lights. He said “You look so serious. You think too much. Why are you thinking so hard?” Remember that show ‘Highway To Heaven?’ It was just like that, only it smelled of chip fat from that Greek place on the corner.

And so tonight on the phone, I tried hard not to think so hard. I tried to let the apology be whatever it could be. But I hung up the phone and by the time I reached the kitchen, I had a list of questions trailing after me that I just had to leave like leaves I guess on the pavement. And let them turn into nothing.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Laser therapy does hurt [but only really quickly] and it is fucking BANGING. My advice is get it done. Results after the first session.

P.S.S. Thank you. You know who you are. Have a nice time and see you for a Flat White soon.

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