On the night of the non-date I will take the time to write something for a change, instead of one liners or blogging a picture or something something from somewhere.
Can someone tell me what happened? I don’t know what happened. I think I was a Throwawayfuck all because I was too much tough talking – but maybe I was just a Throwawayfuck – but I don’t know.
It was all because of a pair of shoes in TOPSHOP. I tried them on. I kind of wanted them. But did I really? – no I didn’t = because I wouldn’t have thrown them down on my way to the till to buy them the first night. The following evening I went back WANTING THEM. They were blue and suede with heels and nice enough. A second before I requested my size, two teens had asked for them. There was only one pair. They sat there nursing them while the better looking one of the two tried on two sequinned gold jackets. Both jackets were horrible and looked cheap and looked really really horrible. I sat quiet and WAITED for this shoes. They were cradling the box, they were petting it. They hadn’t even tried them on. I just wanted them. I left in the end totally frustrated thinking “WHY OH WHY AND WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?!” Because the night I had tried on the shoes and rejected them I had been to the pub and the guy that worked there told me his girlfriend had moved out kind of randomly. I had wanted to go out on a date with this guy for the longest time.
Anyway – I just had to cut myself short there. I asked this guy out. We had a great time for about a week.
Then I had a really horrible time.
Now I am having no time.
And most of all I ask myself the question “What the fuck were you doing in TOPSHOP anyway?” It turned me into a Throwawayfuck.
But see how I didn’t really want the shoes?
The man kissed like the only other Italian I kissed – straight tongue and used it like a dribbley sword. Not that hot. It improved.
As you can see, this is probably why I haven’t written so much on my blog lately. My brain in like alphabet soup.
SOME GOOD THINGS COMING UP THOUGH: Parisian visitors BOOYAH!!! Maybe I go to Nantes again!!! Going to Australia in March 10 via Singapore WOOHOO!!!
Which will all go to heal the shame of being a Throwawayfuck all for the sake of a pair of TOPSHOP shoes. Bwwwaaarrrfghhh.