Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

May 13, 2010

JUST WHILE I CATCH UP ON FACEBOOK

Sorry just quickly – catching up on the last few days internet activity and I just got reminded of these pictures of my beautiful friend P-Dogg at one of the Ladies Night dinners we had last year. What a babe.

I will be good to catch up on CAT TALK, china, bubbly fun and general cooking shit.

February 9, 2010

TODAY LONDON NEXT WEEK PARIS

a.k.a. My Love Affair With the Macaron

So how many people have I told the same story to over and over

I’M GOING TO PARIS TO LE CORDON BLEU TO LEARN “THE SECRET OF MACARONS”.

I was talking to Mum on the phone this morning asking her “What other kind of cake is hard and a bit fiddly that you have to practice loads to get perfect and even go to a class?” and she said “Profiteroles?” I told her I already made those and they were easy. Maybe not perfect, but successful enough on the first go to not feel challenged. Sponge cake – I have totally cracked it. I have struggled with cannellés and clafoutis – maybe that is the kind of thing – but nothing like a macaron. If you serve a macaron, people are amazed and always say “HOW DO YOU DO THIS? Is there a mould? Do you drop it into something hot? How do you get it so smooth?” etc etc etc. Anyway I have no clue as to what I will learn in Paris but I am getting HELLISHLY excited. And I feel a bit sick/nervous about it. The confirmation letter even tells you what you have to wear in the kitchen.

So – with this level of thrill in mind let me tell you first of all about Mrs K MEETING PIERRE HERME at the new Selfies consession where she had to photograph him for work. I had about 5 missed calls from her that day as she attempted to tell me “MOVE YOUR ASS HERE IMMEDIATELY” and as I said in my previous post about it [and apparently MISQUOTED and then got berated for it afterwards and I told her "Okay woah like fine but I will just blow it up all over the blog about how you yelled at me LOL brb gtg my nbff just logged on bye".

Oh Buddah where was I? Oh - about to eat this gift of personally selected macarons by Mrs K from Pierre Hermés own hand.

Here are a few views of the macarons at The Cardinals house. Please note the china. Also in bottom photo bottom left please note the sliver of marmite toast available for palate cleansing.

You may remember if you even care, these were the ones I had in Paris when I was there last from Pierre Hermé shortly after getting silly stringed by three pre teens on a skateboard outside the the Pierre and Marie Curé University mineral and gem museum.

So The Cardinal and I were in a gifted position to be able to truly assess the macarons in the privacy of her living room in front of an open fire, sipping Earl Grey Tea from china cups and a variety of cutlery to best perform the operations of peeling apart the layers.

Not the first time I have done this. Remember Nantes?

Sorry lost in a K-HOLE of macaron reminiscing and checking on the Danish cabbage in the kitchen.

Back to Pierre Hermé. There seems to be a whole divide between Pierre Hermé vs Ladurée and who's is better and whatever. I am going to say that on the whole, I prefer Ladurée. I like to know that what is labelled as Rose is going to taste like Rose. Admittedly I do admire the adventure of P.H.'s "collections" but I think the ratio there is too much filling to macaron and I am not a big fan of chocolate & fruit together at the best of times. I think they are both marvellous though. The only macarons I ever that that were awful were the ones in Nantes - the really tasted like lipstick, shampoo and shower gel.

With all this preamble, lets get ourselves to Sunday afternoon when I had a tea at The Crib with a selection of O.G.'s in attendance: Covvo, Alex T [the sub editor], Ella, Fi and the Cardinal. Hobart was also there but her presence was only felt when she scratched the Cardinal and singed her whiskers on a candle. For my guests I presented my take on cream cheese & radish and egg mayonaisse & quails egg sandwiches. Followed by a selection of macarons made in my own exclusive kitchen and two cakes. Oh and Champagne and tea.

These were Bailey’s and Hazelnut. Total fail in my opinion but Alex T was more than happy to take the ones we didn’t eat home with him at the end.

These were Campari and Blood orange on the left and Lavender on the right. Both lovely.

These were Basil, Pinenut & Honey with Lime. They totally cleaned up. Unfortunately they are a visual fail – see the brown bit? Slightly over done but did not affect taste.

The success of these makes me feel a bit less nervous about the class in Paris. I have to say, I had a very jolly afternoon after heinous weeks at work. The cookbook was planned. I will even be doing a chapter on Chinese food. It will be one page long.

“Don’t fuck with it and leave it to the Chinese.”

Although since then, I have been thinking about macaron recipes on that theme.

My lunch is ready now – braised fennel and Danish cabbage. I’m going to go eat it. You can be rest assured that I will be reporting back in detail from Paris all about how I go. PLUS I have been in touch with Goon already to discuss the restaurants we will be visiting! YERRRRRR.

xx Lektrogirl

August 31, 2009

MADAME A TROIS

The Cardinal and I have a new blog called “MADAME A TROIS / Wesley Snipes’ Private Party”.

Strictly for the die hard, this is a blog based loosely on one of our favourite things – China. Complexxion couldn’t even make it through a 30 minutes conversation at The Cardinal’s house one night for dinner before bursting into tears and telling us we were not being nice as we flicked through a Midwinter catalogue style book.

The Cardinal and I mean serious business, like Nino Brown dealing coke in New Jack City. Nino Brown played so hard that who could forget the passion in Ice T’s face when he has a gun over Nino [lying in garbage bags bleeding] saying “I want to shoot you so bad my dick is hard?”

If you would like to check our new tough love china site, please visit here: www.madameatrois.com

xx Lektrogirl

August 15, 2009

STERN LOOK


Stern Look, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Went out last night and can’t work out why I had such a bad hangover this morning? If anyone can give me any clues, please let me know.

The Cardinal with her death babe looks as per usual looking amazing even in the ropiest of basement clubs. At first, we thought this was the bar:

I hadn’t been out in ages and saw quite a few people it was lovely to say hello to! I even got to catch up with the great Australian hero, Harry Butler

Admittedly he had lost the desert boots and khaki hot pants and acquired a more modern look and was looking great for his age, but he was still “the snake whisperer.” Even on the busy dance floor.

The was some DJ who played before Louise Enchante who was awesome. I dunno who he was – kind of regular looking – and his technical vibes were not great but his music selection was the first interesting set I heard in ages. Melodic chord progressions so beautiful. If we didn’t have the self imposed home time of 1am [which we already stretched to 2am] I probably would have wanted to stay longer.

Urgh but I did see that prick XXCENSOREDXX on the way out. He admitted to being responsible for writing all the anonymous shit comments on my blog a couple of Christmases ago that ended up hurting his so called friends my ex and his new girlfriend more that it did me. What a douchebag dickhead. And people wonder why I think he is such a jagoff. I got to give him credit though – he looks like he has lost some weight. His thighs were finally thinner than mine.

On more intellectual matters, there was a lot of talk last night about SLOW HOUSE. What a concept, playing records on a speed different to which they were manufactured! Who knew! I spoke to Louis Enchante and I was excited to hear that Paul B Davis was invited to spin at Top Nice forever now for “Slow Hour” – the final hour or so at Top Nice. Even though when Paul and I lived together it was tough times, some of the best times were Living Room Disco when playing records and messing about with music was priority. It was great trying out stuff together and hearing him mix things and offering him records to try ideas out with and seeing what he would combine with it or I would be playing some Library music bizzo and he would pull out Robert Armarni Circus Bells. Top Nice “Slow Hour” is going to be awesome. I just hope Paul cracks out the Melodica once in a while. [Shit I haven't said so much nice stuff about Paul in one paragraph in a long time!! It must be because he is normal and funny again after breaking up with his girlfriend.]

Anyway – it wouldn’t be a good day without another picture of Hobart for everyone’s perusal.

In the cab home last night The Cardinal really let me know how much she hates the cat’s name. “Oh…. it is so unfeminine and doesn’t suit her. It is just too masculine and you really have to change it.” I threatened to change her name to Turps. Cards said in that case I should leave it at Hobart. How could she say these things about my little cobber Hobart? I thought she was a boy…

xx Lektrogirl

May 23, 2009

BLAH BLAH

I have been in batten down the hatches meltdown mode this week and throwing myself into my work and totally switching off when I get home. Which made it so amazing to see the Lady Gang last night Philippa’s house for the dinner get together we do every so often. I did not take any pictures – came straight from work and had left my camera at home charging. Madame was there in one of Grandfather Lady’s old rubber skirts cut off to secretary length, The Cardinal had on a stunning black dress that was so ladylike she couldn’t reach up to get the canelle tin out of the cupboard, Mrs Kipling is undergoing a skin transformation – she was GLOWING and Mrs G was wearing RIPPED JEANS with the best vintage polka dot scarf from here to eternity. So amazing. Bette was also there and she was being super cute trying to avoid everyone. The drink of choice – Aperol & Prosecco / Cava whatever was opened. CHEESECAKE for dessert [The Cardinal's is legendary you know.]

Today I woke up at 1.30 wishing for some more Vietnamese Salad that Cards had prepared next to a slice of Spinach quiche. I lay in bed and tried to positively think it into my life but every time I peeked over the covers a side plate had not appeared on the windowsill… So I got up and decided to cook my own quiche with stuff I had in the fridge and freezer.

So it was a bit random – smoked salmon, braised fennel, spring onion and tarragon but at the same time it was a good combination and I was quite pleased with the results for my first ever quiche. Not as good as Philippa’s but not bad for a beginner.

In other news, osl.lameatnames.com is going really well – in fact the visits are blowing up so much so that valeria and I are sharing the hosting of files around three or four different sites trying to scrabble up some space. Oh shit – that reminds me I wanted to tell Pippa something about hosting videos. Brain ache now but I will do it tomorrow or later.

Oh yeah – Pippa and I had to have THAT conversation. The one that had been brewing for a while. We had kind of seen it coming but we never actually said anything to each other about it until last night. VINCENT D’ONOFRIO IS FAT!! I said I would still blow him, but as Pippa said “He has turned into a real man mountain.” Anyone else checked him out in series 8 of Law and Order: Criminal Intent? He always had a lot of screen presence – now he totally hogs the camera! [OJ LOL]

Anyway

I’m gonna go catch some episodes. Meltdown is manageable. Not the best time at the moment, but the Lady Gang is always a wicked treat.

xx Lektrogirl

April 27, 2009

WASSUP LATELY

Life has been going a bit better for me than this rat I saw on the Holly Lodge Estate over the weekend. And better than this fish at the 02 Centre on Finchley Road where their aquarium mortality rate is incredibly high I think. Who can forget that big black fish that was floating around in the tank for months “asleep”?

Then I went out to Real Gold with The Cardinal after scoffing a bottle of Champagne that V gave me for Christmas, what was left of a bottle of vodka mixed with tonic on the tube and even more at the party itself.

Louis Enchanté was there standing in a puddle of water and I had a great chat to him later after he came to dry land and he then introduced me to his brother. While we all talked, a guy spent the evening on his hands and knees scooping up the flood with a plastic half pint glass into a bucket. I was thinking we were going to build an ark but it didn’t come to that.

I was very excited to see DJ Assault play. He had called me earlier that day to ask me if I was able to come and hang out cause he had arrived earlier than he thought and he didn’t know wassup. Unfortunately I was standing on The Frenchman’s kitchen chair with a paintbrush in my hand and couldn’t go. A shame. Never the less I got to see the “Porn Star In Training” later that night.

Don’t hate a playa guys, just hate the game. It wasn’t Assault’s best set ever I have to say. He was doing a lot of juggles with doubles which I felt did not work out so great. His set was also his hits one after the other. Rumour has it that Daniel Lee is putting on DJ Assault some time later in the week at The Social which I think is the perfect club for DJ Assault. I would go check out Assault at The Social if the rumour is true!

I prefer sweaty dancing in big gay sweatbox dance clubs. A lot of people were standing there just watching the technique [Serato or equivalent...] which made serious dancing difficult – The Cardinal and I had some real moves going on. Fists ladies. The way to go. I got a lot of compliments from men telling me I am a good dancer. Thanks! Now get out of my way – I have some floor to shine. Guys were also presuming that just because I was dancing to the music that I wanted to be a sub on the dancefloor. I don’t want to get dry humped by some English man with the front of his t-shirt pulled over his face. Remember that Icey Blu song Pump It?

On the way home, I found these on the side of the road. What happened?

The following day I didn’t wake up til it was time to cook dinner. Yes. I stayed at The Frenchman’s. I had dreams all night about sexual liaisons with a very good drinking friend of mine – I’m not sure we actually had sex but we were definitely vibing. If that wasn’t peculiar enough, in the dream the windows of his house were wallpapered with aluminium foil, all the shelves were wonky and there were all this random horrible cheap plastic statues of pigs and carts with some crepe paper. And there were chewed up and mangled feathers all through the draughty cold and wet apartment from this mental cat that was eating an old feathered bathing costume. Freud – that one is all yours.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. In other news, lameatnames.com was down again for bandwidth over usage this month. Valeria and I have to come up with some money making schemes.

April 20, 2009

LADIES GUIDE TO DIY

When I do my DIY round the house I always make sure I am wearing a well supporting bra – so of course a tight low cut bra with bows, lace and boning from AP and some comfortable but matching knickers. I think that the base to any outfit is very important – and if it makes you feel good then you will be able to achieve the impossible. A bit like watching Mistress of the Goodvibes Universe videos when she works out in Vivienne Westwood dresses or Mexican wrestling masks. I also have to wear this kind of underwear because my DIY outfit is pretty hardcore – cut off sweats and an old checked shirt from Pasadena. So if I hurt myself and need ambulance care I can keep my dignity. Or if there is someone like the Air Commodore who wants to have fantasies about ladies with tools, [OJ LOL], I would hate to disappoint.

I also like to make sure I have motivational music. I recommend Dr Dre 2000 or Snoop Dogg Tha Last Meal but each to their own [Mrs Kipling... who knows what it could be...]

So it is a bit like this at my house today as I start work on my bedroom which needs serious DIY.

Over the weekend I didn’t have my usual DIY outfit to hand so I just put some shelves up in knickers and a bra cause I didn’t want to ruin my dress. Yes – it seems that it is a common fantasy for men.

We all know that the Cardinal is more refined that me and she has been known to DIY in a cashmere sweater. I know that Caz has been on her hands and knees stripping paint on the floor. Madame I have seen DIYing in flats [Eley Kishimoto sneakers - green flash]. Mrs Kipling has reported to be doing her own painting and tiling – but I have no idea what she would wear.

I have to get on now.

xx Lektrogirl

April 18, 2009

THE LADYGANG

I love us.

xx Lektrogirl

January 24, 2009

COCKTAIL OF CHOICE


Cocktail of Choice, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Well here is another new feature which I hope will become regular on my blog now that my cocktail cabinet is getting full of alcohol rather than just teacups, records and letters I never opened.

So the other night was dinner at The Cardinals. We decided to attempt mixing the cocktail pictured which I first had at Wild Honey on St George Street. I can’t remember what they called it, but I call it the 3C down to the list of ingredients.

3C RECIPE
2/3 lid of Campari
Juice of 1.5 Clementines
Fill the glass with chilled Cava or Prosecco

It is a very fresh taste and not too fruity. Nice for Winter I think could be a goer for all year round with mandarins or whatever is on. Personally I would have been a little heavier handed with the Campari but The Cardinal was calling the shots and I was just on duty as the mixer. We both thought it would be a nice idea to zest the rim of the glass to make the drink more fragrant.

After polishing of a few of these each, we switch to Courvoisier and Prosecco.

The following day I felt like death while I had to race around after my boss who was off to Kenya. Things were better again when I passed out on the sofa at 9pm the following night.

xx Lektrogirl

January 17, 2009

AMERICAN SPORTING LIFE

I hardly care about Aussie Rules, and only like Arsenal cause I live in that area. But I used to have an American husband [well I still do cause the chump still hasn't taken the papers in court... the most constipated procedure of my life!] and he taught me like a chant which teams were my favourite.

Baseball: St Louis Cardinals
Football: St Louis Rams
Ice Hockey: St Louis Blues
Basketball: He said I could have Utah Jazz

I don’t mind because even though St Louis sucked major cock when I went there, Chicago was a lot worse. So the decision made for me sat pretty easy. Also, all the uniforms for the different teams are pretty nice colours.

The only reason why I say this is cause today The Cardinal and I went to Le Péché Mignon for a croque and coffee – check out our desserts:


The chocolate and orange one was banging but the lemon one was a total KILLER.

After having a total maximum gossip we went to the second hand shop and I found a Los Angeles Rams collared shirt for £3. I was so pleased cause I have an LA Rams Starter jacket already and the colours are super nice. And cause the Rams are one of my teams, I feel a bit nostalgic for them. The Rams were in Los Angeles from 1946 to 1994 [concurrent with the LA Raiders before they went back to Oakland] and then they moved to St Louis. Yeah well, it is really NBD but I mega into it.

Check out the LA Rams Rap…

Thank God the Raiders had NWA…

The Miami Dolphins might be the winner?

xx Lektrogirl

November 24, 2008

IT’S LATE

I’ve left you for a while and now I’m here I am too tired to write anything.

Half a bottle of Miller’s Gin gone by my own doing having shared it first with Nathaniel and continuing with a midnight booty call**. I tell you – the only thing that gave me a headache was the alcoholic ‘chinotto’ that the Cardinal and I concocted while painting her kitchen over the weekend.

While I slept it off, on and off, through out the day, I dreamt of these sweet treats that C-Dogg had cooked.

And who knows – another My Love Life picture…

Watched episode 7 of Season 9 CSI tonight. The stupid miniature killers witch was in it again, there was a really shit sideline story with Nick Stokes and Hodges working together – MAKING BUDDIES – I suppose now that Warrick Brown is no longer with us, and another pathetic story with Jim Brass and some twat avenging her father’s death. What I really wanted to know is DID LADY HEATHER and GRISSOM FUCK THE SNOT OUT OF EACH OTHER AT THE END OF EPISODE 5??!! I wonder if they have sex, would Lady Heather let him cum inside of her. Or even cum at all? I’m sorry Sarah Sidle to even bring these questions to light but I never liked your posture.

So tired.

xx Lektrogirl

** You know that isn’t what I think.

September 26, 2008

Хорватия июнь

I love it when I find a new photostream to subscribe to.

Today I calculated I was happy to wake up to banana muffins. I deliberately didn’t take my sunglasses or my camera to work so that I could take my £1 junk shop book “Faces, Figures And Feelings: A cosmetic Plastic Surgeon Speaks” by Leslie E. Gardener published in 1959. Dr Gardener has very bushy eyebrows a bit like Sam The Eagle from the Muppets. The book is illustrated with all kinds of before and after pictures which I will no doubt at to my Flickr or blog at some stage while referencing another bleeding heart story from my tragic life. Anyway – as it transpired The Cardinal came into town and met me for lunch. AND SHE IS NO LONGER A VIRGIN!!! After our bacon and avocado salads we went down to Ladurée in The Burlington Arcade. Her favourite is pistachio. A discerning palette. The statement of the afternoon had to be when she said “I didn’t even know all this was here in the Burlington Arcade. Last week if I won the lottery I’d have gone off shopping somewhere else. This Saturday if I win the lottery, I’ll be coming here first. Look at all the bling.” Sadly, the harlequin pendant for £9500 I had my eye was was gone. I could settle for an antique Rolex. And we sat in the sun [very shiny today!] and she took some pictures and we discussed a friends wedding that we heard of where the venue alone will cost £20,000. A lot. But yerrr I could have used my sunnies and my snapper today.

Speaking of a lot, this is my most viewed picture in my photostream:

Watching the pair of them dance was such a funny night.

xx Lektrogirl

September 6, 2008

RAINY SATURDAY


Shelving, originally uploaded by Beniah Brawn.

I’m so in love with these pictures that Frecker has been uploading. He has one of the best Flickr streams.

Well what did I do today? Well more to the point, what have I been doing with my life the past few days? I’m not sure – I’ve been so busy that I had to sleep from 8pm to 11am last night missing Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and Cocadisco and XXCENSOREDXX making special faces with XXCENSOREDXX. God I wish I could tell you the details of that but I can’t. Oh Lord!!

Today The Cardinal and I braved the foulest weather that was so LONGING me out to go to the fabric shop on Kingsland Road to buy some material to make The Cardinal a skirt. We found some great eye prints and great crown prints. NICE. Then after persistant phone calls from Mr Chips we went down to Brick Lane to see Silverlink with Jammer and Badness shooting the video for “The Message is Love”.

When we got there, a gang of people were jumping around with flags to the track and Mr Chips was going CCRRAAZZYY. I wondered why he was puffing so much when he answered the phone. And then I knew why. I hadn’t lolled so much since I was in the bin with him after dinner:

and

The Cardinal and I took a moment to absorb the various carnivalesque outfits galdem were wearing – neon pink stuff, one was dressed as a bee – all in hooker shoes. Not sure how I felt about that. Or the outfit that Jammer had on later that looked a little bit like girls pyjamas from Woolworths in shade of lavender. What happened to this boss look that Jammer used to merk?

As I have said before, it would be my dream to be a menswear stylist. Now that I have met Cesca who has promised that we can be a team then maybe it will be true. Silverlink was looked banging of course. He was wearing slightly less baggy trousers than normal. I want him to take them in just a little bit more and I would if Cesca and I were his personal stylists.

The Cardinal and I had lunch at Canteen and again the service was shoddy and they gave me a cappuccino instead of a latte. YGM?! NOT ON!! Also the Welsh Rarebit was over cheesy etc. I always assume that place is going to be better than it is and swear never to go back. Most importantly today I totally won out the game “Your Boyfriend” against The Cardinal. She had hangoverface so she wasn’t on the ball. I even cleaned up with the game “You In Ten Years” which I invented in the same moment.

Tonight I am going out to PIZZA. Which I hope will be fun.

xx Lektrogirl

August 10, 2008

BLU TAK COCK GRAFFITI


Blu Tak Cock Graffiti, originally uploaded by ..Philippa...

I have been waiting for The Cardinal to Flickr this for some time so I can blog it. It is so LOLS.

xx Lektrogirl

July 27, 2008

ANOTHER WEEKEND

And so where to begin? It’s 9pm and I’ve heard it was a beautiful day today – I just made it out at about 8pm to walk to McDonald’s for something to eat. I wanted KFC but that is further and I couldn’t be bothered.

Last night The Cardinal and I were waiting at The Star at the end of the street until it dawned on us that Mr Chips actually meant The Star on Bethnal Green Road for Say Yes. Durrr… So dressed in what we had rolled out of the house in we made it over to The Star to get sweaty with everyone else.

The only woman to managed to keep it together in her Alphabet of Chanel blouse was Jenny Jenny the most gorgeous woman at the house of vice. My only regret is that I didn’t manage to get her feet in the picture too. It would have been perfect.

Everybody else was trying to keep cool fanning themselves with 7 Year Glitch flyers that Venom and Cardinal were handing out for the party on 23rd August.

Mr Chips cool as ice and me as sweaty as a Christmas boiled ham. I look like a big fat piece pressure cooked silverside. HML.

It was then off to Lucy’s birthday on a roof top in Bethnal Green. It was so amazing sitting out on a warm night drinking the new summer time vibes favourite – Whiskey and Ginger. This is Japper’s tipple of choice that I am now adopting. So good. If the truth is known though I really hate the Cardinal right now for being complicit in a spit ball game with Paul Pieroni that took place at Cocadisco which I wont go into detail over but let this be a warning to them both that revenge is best served cold and your times will come. And it was so OMG cause my old friend Koffi was there by chance too. So much fun.

Lucy made Amph dance for ages and did all kinds of moves. She really was non-stop! I couldn’t stop laughing! So much fun! It seemed she had a great time for her birthday.

I mean down on the ground with your legs in the air along side someone as smiley as Amph. I wouldn’t complain. LOLZ.

A broken man.

Deano was also there and for some reason he was letting me punch him in the face loads of times on both cheeks. My hand actually hurts a little bit today. I hope his face is okay.

My love life is still the same.

xx Lektrogirl

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