Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

November 18, 2007

I <3 SHOPPING

Totally was weird. I had this moment in the fitting rooms. I couldn’t stop looking at myself thinking “life is different now”. I don’t know if I am mental or sane. Either way it meant I was an hour late for meeting Paul at Top Of The Town. So I had to go find him at Wong Kei which always makes me cry in there after the shittiest night of my life some years ago with an Irish prick called Kevin. I made Paul leave his plate of puke behind and we went and had our old usuals at T.O.T.T. Me – Sweat and Sour Pork. Him – String Bean Szechuan Style with Pork. But I was late for everything today. I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date… I hope Dal forgives me.

So I tried on a lot of clothes today as well. I was in the Mui Mui section trying on knitwear with this puffy mohair sleeves. They made me look like I had arms like the Gorilla in the Cadbury’s commercial. Really. So I went back to the area I was really interested in – the Lingerie. Unfortunately, Alex Tea must have got lost on the way cause he Facebooked me to say he was gonna meet me in Agent Provocateur at 3 to help me choose bra’s but he didn’t show. Gutted. In my deep greif, I ended up buying four new bra’s.


Vampirella. I was talking with Manara the other day about one knocker being bigger than the other.


Frumpy. I really like awkward underwear. There is a bra in Fifi Chachnil in Paris that I am obsessed with that I have gone back to see twice now. Only it is hideously expensive cause it is made from silk. And usually by the time I get there I have spunked my money in the antique jewellery shop over the road.

Anyway – while shopping in Agent Provocateur for these two, the music that came on was WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT:

Joe Jackson: Steppin’ Out
FUCK WHAT AN UGLY MAN!!! Talk about ruin your vinegar stroke.
but I this is the third time I have heard this song in a shop lately… A while ago it was this:

His hip rolling though is really bad… [check end of the post for more...]


Cutey. This one is DJ Venoms favourite, but I dedicate this one to the man in the bar who I think is cute but I’m not sure if he is gay or not. I’m glad that DJ Venom, my lifestyle coach did have words to say about my shopping tonight on AIM.

00:21:34: do you think i should take the blue bra [not pictured] back
00:22:13: i think you need blue pants to go with it
00:22:24: i never wear matching underwear
00:22:31: cheap ho
00:22:36: yeah i know
00:22:42: you’ll never impress a guy like that
00:23:02: i often wear matching socks, pants and t-shirt
00:23:08: same pantone
00:23:18: the only other person i know who does that is a homo. but he is thebest dressed man i know
00:24:53: omg – XXCENSOREDXX* agrees with you about the matching knickers

* Would love to tell you but I can’t. Here is what he said tho’ online tonight.

00:24:02: my lifestyle coach, daniel lee, says i will never impress a guy if i dont wear knickers that match my bra.
00:24:05: is that true?
00:24:23: yeah
00:24:25: totally true
00:24:40: does it have to be the same set or can it colour co-ordinate.
00:24:48: same set
00:24:58: fuck me
00:25:13: that is gonna be a LOT
00:25:16: yep
00:27:09: do all girls match their underwear?
00:27:23: i mean i imagine rhiannan does
00:27:31: sorry that is a lezza i know
00:27:40: i mean the umbrella girl
00:27:57: yeah i think so
00:27:59: most do
00:28:09: o rly

Sadly, my obsession – that was started by Ramiro Elena – rests with bras alone. Not knickers. My other obsession is taking pictures up girls skirts.


Here is Jo, the new girl at work. Her photoshop skills are exception and she has an amazing eye for detail. Though the small hole in her tights might lead you to a different opinion of her. That and the chipped nail polish.

Finally: Keeping with the sexual vibe of this post – on to the Hip Rollin videos that are good. No no, they are AAMMAAZZINGGGG!!

BANGABLE.

xx Lektrogirl

November 12, 2007

DUBSTEP DANCE

FOUND IT AT LAST

Turn the sound down on this and crank up Skream’s Midnight Request Line. If you decide to bother to stand up, just hop from one leg to the other without taking your foot off the ground. Basically, that’s it.

Kind regards

Lektrogirl

October 14, 2007

INCENDIARY EP – DJ GUY [Global Fire]

This is DJ Guy’s first release of his brand new label Global Fire which is pretty grand considering he also just bought Serato yesterday too. He said he felt really sad cause it really felt like the end of an era. But he said already Serato was amazing. Last night DJ Guy, Bitch Ass Darius and I “had a drink or two” at the The Star. It was the triad of minds that evening on the sofa, and later at my crib where we decided it would be a great idea to drink the two bottles of red wine on top of all the drinking we have already done.

Originally presented to me in a Morrisons*** bag, here is a slighter hotter picture of the new record!

Left Tittie:
Bucked Up
Who Wanna
The Raw

Right Tittie:
The Runner
Big Pussy

So from the expert mind of Lektrogirl [who miraculouly woke up totally clear headed this morning!]
Bucked Up - “Get Buck” / Young Buck and some great music. Great for getting your titties out to and shaking your F.U.P.A.
Who Wanna - well who doesn’t? I know I always want to.
The Raw - You Get Me!? This is the best track on the EP and it makes me want to dance like a German girl all up in the place and fuck the snot out of any guy. Well there is a man in particular… Anyway – you will know which bit of the track I mean when you hear it. You will start doing the Wutang* and the Spongebob Dance** all at once on the floor.
The Runner - The “Doh” vocals etc by DJ Guy himself. [Yes it is true that I didn't believe Bitch Ass Darius sang "Mount Up Bang That Butt" himself, but he did a live performance of it in the living room later that evening that was most convicing!]
Big Pussy - A vintage DJ Guy track written back in 2002. My only negative comment on this track is that it doesn’t say BIG PUSSY enough. But maybe that is cause if all pussy’s smelt like mine the world would be a really happy place [they don't call me Platinum Pussy in Hamburg for no reason you know] – but maybe you can get too much of a good thing? It must be awful for those girls out there with fannies like crabsticks.

You can listen to samples of some of these tracks on the Global Fire MySpace page.

*The Wutang Dance

**The Spongebob Dance

xx Lektrogirl

***Oh FUCK! I just remembered about an amazing thing Carrie said by accident!! She mixed up Dries Van Noten with Denise Van Outen! Love it!!!

August 30, 2007

DRAMATIC CUNTY

Let’s show these girls how cunt you are…

July 23, 2007

MODELLING DUTIES

Yes! It is true that there are pictures of Brains in glitter pants and glitter make up and marajuana leaf socks in a Katharine Hamnett SAVE THE WORLD t-shirt!! However, you will have to content yourselves with this:


America’s next top model. Here in a Katharine Hamnett Original Outsized T-shirt.


Here is the shot we chose of Joe. STAY ALIVE IN 85 – Nice try mate – you weren’t even born then.


And here is Melissa in my favourite picture of the day. She looks like a cute clown.

Anyway – come over here and let me tell you a little bed time story… another long day over!

xx Lektrogirl

July 18, 2007

LEAN LIKE A CHOLO

Don’t send me to the Big Brother Diary Room for saying Cholo, but if I sang the song on Big Brother, would they evict me? I don’t think I would get away singing Fuck ‘Em by David Banner but maybe cause there aren’t so many Mexicans here I’d get away with it. The fake Aussie should be thrown out for her AWFUL accent. I dunno what state she thinks she is from… I’ll have to ask her where ‘The Black Stump’ is.

Anyway…

DJ Koyote said once I dance like a German girl. It wasn’t until much later he admitted that he danced like a German guy so I was less cut. Actually I think I probably look more like this little dude. I will be busting out some of his moves on Saturday night at the DJ Assault gig I think. I still haven’t managed to be Blankin’ for more than 30 seconds without dying. And then I can’t even stand up again. As for Strokin’ that is just too homo, and I will leave it to the experts like Prancehall and ASBO D to dance like that. I maybe I will just stand in the corner with a bottle of beer and drink until I wet myself like XXCENSOREDXX used to do regularly at the Rephlex gigs at Heaven. In fact, he actually shat himself once.

xx Lektrogirl

July 15, 2007

MORE BLANKIN’


First he is Blankin’


Now he’s Strokin’

I wanna date him.

Psych.

xx Lektrogirl

June 24, 2007

What Day Is It?

Oh Man! So I’m awake now and I really wanted a cool chill out weekend with a lot of rest. Next weekend I’m in Paris with Pippa and that will take a lot of energy eating cake. Etc. Max is also going to be there too I think. He will want to chew the fat. But I don’t want to do that. Pippa and I planned to check out Fifi Chachnil but I don’t think I can stand Max’s tourettes whilst doing that and also the £1200 for the ticket to Australia for Christmas burnt a hole in my… soul… Anyway where was I?! Okay so on Friday night was the Extreme Animals show at the Old Blue Last. I like that pub a lot and think it is great for “traditional” bands, DJ’s and MC’s but not the best for making a big gay sweatbox – which I was definitely in the mood for. But many very very cool things happened though, which resulted in this:


Thug Missus

Daniel ASBO D kissed me right on the mouth in front of Prancehall when I said hello. It was a total moment. My knickers couldn’t keep it all in. Prancehall won’t let me take pictures of him any more. It doesn’t matter. I still have a lot of old ones I can post and make stupid jokes that I don’t mean and totally offend him with…


The Incredible Hulk


Philipa promoting the 7Yeezie / DO IT! party featuring DJ Assault

After the sound check, Philipa, James, Jacob, David and I all went and had dinner together. James was being the Alpha Male all night. But that is okay cause he is doing some design work for really big cosmetic companies right now and I’m sure his office is like full of girls walking around in bath robes getting facial treatments and bikini waxes. Philipa and I were trying to calculate the number of beers she could drink to stay under the legal limit cause she had to drive the drum kit back again. We had a good time at dinner with a lot of warm converstation and friendly laughs.
I wish we had invited these guys along. They would have really helped keep our positive vibes buoyant.


Brains, Easychord, Thugly.

Oh no – hang on it’s okay – Brains got loose.

Paul and Paul


Silverlink and Paul came.

Cassetteplaya came.


The Extreme Animals came.

And with the rythmic wild congo style deep from africa spiritual drumming of David:

Jacob got naked:

Silverlink and Brains got sexual and demanded Carrie and I perform a Booty-Off with one another:

And with the out of control vibes rising I spiritually raped Jacob:


And the whole night ended in a fried chicken orgy back on my sofa bed at 2AM. We listened to Mo-Do and all fell asleep.
BOOYAH!
xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Also to note XXCENSOREDXX and XXCENSOREDXX are hating on XXCENSOREDXX right now cause they feel like XXCENSOREDXX isn’t being a good enough friend right now. There was some major air pie around.

P.P.S. Also, XXCENSOREDXX writes gossip as their main job. But XXCENSOREDXX is the first person to give me grief if I write something here that XXCENSOREDXX doesn’t like. XXCENSOREDXX’s justification is that the people I write about are people me and all my friends know which is personal stuff. Maybe I have ideas about my station and I think that me and all my friends live in our own celebrity stratosphere, but are celebrities people too?

June 20, 2007

Super Soca – It’s A Real Thriller!!


xx Lektrogirl

June 16, 2007

TOTALLY SEXUAL

Here are some great dance videos. It’s Hot. Totally sexual. etc.

The Wu Tang Dance

Just hot guys half dressed.

BLANKIN’ – Walk It Out

HTF can you imagine the strength in that guys thighs? Total hornbag!

Perculator

Totally unrelated songwise, but you know that song by Ginuwine called Pony? Watching this guy dance makes me feel filthy in the same way.

June 12, 2007

Need something to do?

Poing – Rotterdam Termination Source

Real gabba

The Melbourne Shuffle


Some useful dance moves. They have competitions for being able to dance like this well. And apparently, bagggggggy trousers [i.e. raver trousers] are encouraged cause when you get the moves right, and the trousers cover the feet, it can make the dancer look like they are floating over the stage. Not very sexual though. Probably more spiritual. Definitely a lot of lasers etc needed. And a smoke machinge.

I think the combination of these YouTube videos would make for a fun afternoon.

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