Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

August 5, 2008

BOOTY PEOPLE


booty people, originally uploaded by bootycarrell.

Oh Hamburg family. I miss you. But I cam closer to you than you may think! Today I got some good news.

When I got home, I realised I had my knickers on inside out all day! Oh what a moron. But I think it is only unlucky when you put your knickers on back to front. I have to check with my Dad on that.

xx Emma

July 29, 2008

SERIOUS MOMENT

The Cardinal and I spent some time tonight wondering if it was wrong to even go on a play date with a married man. I told her this is a question we need to address at our age as it will soon become relevant.

Speaking as a woman who was once married who was play dated on by her husband, I would say it is pretty tough when the news breaks. But then in my situation, the couple were actually banging. Which is why I got so pissed off. I am also one of the most jealous people on the planet you could possibly meet. [Except I had an epiphany about this yesterday and I realised I didn't want to be jealous any more and I spent today with a lifetime of jealousy about things just passing through me - experiencing it all again. Weird.]

I still remember some advice my best friends’ mother gave me when I was 18 or 19: “If you can’t get your own, steal someone else’s.” But that isn’t a play date.

So play dates with married men – I don’t know.

I just know that my love life isn’t as rubbish as I make it out to be – there is some magic in the air – even if there is a lot of room for improvement. I dreamt someone was the archetype for all men last night. It was a super intense spiritual dream that came out of the thunderstorm.

Who knows what the future brings.

xx Lektrogirl

February 17, 2008

TWO BABES NO CUPS

I was just organising my Flickr and I found this picture of Manara and Cardinal from when we went to Hamburg together for my birthday last year. What a total TOTAL pair of BABEZ !!!

I mean – what else can you say?!

xx Lektrogirl

December 10, 2007

THE START OF A NEW WEEK

Back from Germany the two cake plates I had tried to pack in my suitcase got smashed, but the matching cups and saucers survived. It felt like a knife through my heart when I pulled the shards form my suitcase. It really broke my heart. I get upset over the most stupid things.


Hamburg was absolutely incredibly as ever. I had an amazing birthday party. I also had incredible times with everyone who came – Manara, Goon & Koyote, Cardinal and Pip who I met for the first time. So loving it. But I also really enjoyed the time I got to spend on my own walking around familiar streets thinking about my own things an contemplating all the big things that have changed in my life recently. I’m really looking forward to next year.


I was so lucky to have my Spiritual Guru so close to give me such wise advice. Booty gives the best advice about all problems. And his advice is so obvious and fitting that I always end up feeling stupid and embarrassed for having asked the question in the first place.

I wanted to write all amazing things about the trip and the stuff we did and the incredible jokes and the things I bought but I’m already too exhausted from only one day back at work. Then I got on the AIM to XXCENSOREDXX who told me that over pizza, XXCENSOREDXX told him that I was selfish and a bad friend. We nearly came to ignoring each other for 6 months again but I can’t be bothered.

Cardinal has invited me to a Christmas karaoke thing on Friday night which I hope I have time to go to. Thursday night is Pippa’s birthday and Noel Fielding’s art exhibition opening. What the hell can his stuff be like? Wednesday is dinner with Pascale and Reuben [I hope!!!] and Tuesday night is the work Christmas party. Can’t wait to go home. Mum says it is 32 degrees centigrade. Read it and weep.

I also have a great story to tell about an amazing dinner I had with Deano from Real Gold tonight after I dropped off some Limited Edition Katharine Hamnett t-shirts to his store on Ganton Street in Soho. He has t-shirts that have just come from the printers in colour ways that were only printed in colour ways of 4-6 each. We went to Bodeans and had burnt back ends but that is a whole other thing and really I’m tooooo tired.

Until I get the chance to write again, here is a porcine porcelain gift to all my fans

xx Lektrogirl

December 9, 2007

MAN ON FIRE


Last night Booty and I kicked back at his crib and watched a DVD he had bought at Lidl starring Denzel Washington. Through this whole movie we were both transfixed by the script, the narrative, the charactarisation. The whole thing was tantamount to a spiritual experience. Even though I’m a true believer in Wesley Snipes I have to give some creds to the Denzel. It was such a convincing portrayal of a man gripped by seeking revenge that it was like watching a documentary. Passionate.

Speaking of spiritual experiences I fell asleep on the sofa before dinner listening to Kontakte by Stockhausen. It was pretty good. It was nice cause I was so sleepy and everytime I got to the edge of sleep XXCENSCOREDXX laughing would come into my mind and I was imagining what it would be like to kiss him. The best dreaming ever.


Speaking of men, I had another rendezvous here with a guy I have been in contact with a lot via email. Sadly it didnt turn out to be as fun as the one with XXCENSCOREDXX the other night. This meeting ended up being a long story about a saxphone that covered two continents, family members, old friends, the yamaha music website and even though I said ‘cut to the chase’ it was unfortunate cause the story still goes on. Then the man I was with went on to tell me about a time he was so drunk that he was telling a mutual friend of ours he didnt like her boyfriend and should try with him and really she is so beautiful etc… She was only a few seats away at the table. I didn’t really feel in the mood for the vibes after that.


Last night I had better luck with the waiter at the restaurant where Viktor, Booty and I went for dinner. Tony couldn’t keep his hands off me and was calling me ‘Beautiful Emma’. Well state the obvious mate, but at least he was making an effort.

Things with nameless seem to be improving. Conversations are not always about who is such a cunt or who has to do what for something else to happen. I got an SMS from him I guess he was still in Uniqlo saying he couldn’t buy anything there cause it is all made in China and even thoough I’ve explained to him how different mark up systems work and making profit where there is no wholesaler he still said ‘this cashmere jumper is only 39 pounds. Who has paid the price for it to be that cheap? (refering to the workers in China) I’m going to try Smedley tomorrow.’ I was so proud.

More later. Still so much to tell from Hamburg.

xx Lektrogirl

December 8, 2007

SUICIDE

Stockhausen is dead and Booty Carrel no longer has a subscription to The Wire. You’d have to be desperate paying for that. I’m on Booty’s sofa listening with him to Stockhausen’s Helicopter String Quartet. You’d have to be desperate or listening to it for money – in Booty’s case I really hope he is gonna get rich. Booty is writing an obitury for some thing he writes for – zeit.de/musik I’d think I’d jump from the helicopter. How long does this fucking CD go for?

xx Lektrogirl

December 5, 2007

LAST CHANCE

WHY U ONNU BAD MIND?!
TEK WEH USELF!!!
IT’S EERIE TIME

Don’t get sad cause evn if u chung u get someone at da Pudel.
HORNY MUSIC ALL NIGHT FROM THE WORLDS GREATEST PUSSY PUMPERS!!!!

O rly?! Yeah blud. YGM.

xx Lektrogirl THE BIGGEST PLAYA IN THE GAME, BOO

November 17, 2007

LET’S GET PERSONAL

Okay so basically, here is my life lately. Glamour, great hair, fabulous tits and party lifestyle.

Actually no it was more like this – great in concept but something a bit wrong with the excution.

Last night I had to stay home in my pyjamas cause I was just too over everything and cold even though I was meant to DJ. I heard Prancehall got my back there so that was fine. I wonder if he would be suitable to play me in the movie of my life? Don’t forget he will have to pork himself up [hope he isn't a Muzzie or a Jew] for the role. Prancehall had told me earlier that the squat party from last week was meant to be really good. So I told him about the toilets with the wet floor and the sink hanging off the wall, the smell of poppers and greasy onion baajis [some tell me how to spell that - this is when you know I'm still not Britsh cause I can't spell any Indian food], the woman with the latex pig masks etc and his words were “It sounds awful”.

Hang on no scratch the second video and check the first one again. I had a brilliant night out for Kesh’s birthday. Me and my glamourous friends met at Trader Vic’s – Cardinal was even showing a bit of bra that DJ Venom couldn’t help but notice, I blew Antoinette’s mind by reeling of purchases she made from The World according To… over two years ago and coaxed Manara out to Yo Yo cause she was looking mega hot.

SPEAKING OF SARA MANARA!!!
SHE WILL NOW BE JOINING THE PARTY POSSEE AT THE GOLDEN PUDEL DJING AS ONE HALF OF FAGGATRONIX!! DON’T MISS!!


And in final news, Karma is working out beautifully. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

August 11, 2007

TRUE THUGS ONLY

I can only imaging what bullshit was coming out of Seb’s mouth at the time. Now girls hold onto your panties cause I’m sure it was something totally spiritually sexual that would take you to the special place.

xx Lektrogirl

June 10, 2007

ME ON THE RADIO

I’ve been totally glued to the Internet procrastinating over not doing the company VAT return. This is the last one for the weekend I promise. It is just too amazing for me to leave it.

HERE IS A LINK TO ME ON THE RADIO IN HAMBURG
I even got an gif. COOL.
So if you are interested in hearing me ruminate about my life and sounding like a hardcore lezza then please click above!

You can also hear this:

Lektrogirl aus London über Technik, Typen und T-Shirts im Interview mit Sabine Machine
Playlist der Sendung vom 08. Juni 2007
1. Babysgang: “Happy Song”
2. DJ Smurf: “Hold up! Wait a minute”
3. Bonde do Role: “Gasolina”
4. Warren G.: “Regulate”
5. Crystalcastles vs Klaxons
6. Jurassic Five: “In the house”
7. The story of Lektrogirl vs Bodenstandig 2000 feat. each other
8. LL Cool J: “Going back to Cali”
9. Scooter: “Weekend”

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. I’m not totally stoned – I promise.

June 2, 2007

The Best and Wurst

BLUMCHEN: Boomerang

This is how all German girls were in 1996

MODO: Eins Zwei Polizei

I started to learn German with this killer track

NICK BEAT: Technodisco

DAISY DEE: Open Sesame
She was a TV presenter on Club Rotation – the best show on Viva2. And married to the head of some record label in Germany. “Check it out Chicky Babes”!!

SCOOTER: Maria [I Like It Loud]
Also featuring Dick Rules.

SCOOTER: Fire [LIVE]
I’d forgotten about the awesome intro to this track.

May 29, 2007

The Full Report.

I’m home after a really busy day, then German class, then wolfing down some of yesterday’s left overs. I’m wondering if you can get jet lag cause I should be totally tired, but I’ve just suddenly woken up. I think it is because I have spent the weekend in Hamburg again and everyone there wakes up at night on the weekend.

Saturday Night.
If I told you that I my friend Livia took me to a porno Karakoe show where my friend Seb was judging dressed as a Gay Gyneocologist and there was a Man dressed as a Gorilla with a huge erect penis who raped a Polish version, who then tied her up to a neon cross, then cut her off with some scissors and then the Polish virgin took the scissor and cut the dick of the gorilla-man and out sprayed mini glitter disco balls all interspersed with weird ditties in german by a woman in pink hair with rubber vaginas sewn to her breasts and knees you probably would wish I had invited you too. Only I didn’t know what I was gonna see until I got there.


Mariola Brillowska – artist of all descriptions and the producer of the whole show Grand Prix D’Amour.


The weird side show. The gorilla man is about to cut the Polish virgin off the cross. Then get de-dicked.


The porno karaoke. On the left hand side of the screen the faces of competitors form the audience are displayed while they create sound effects for and narrate snippets of old super 8 porno movies shown simultaneously on the right.

After the show, Livia and I went and got fries on the Reeperbahn on the way to the Pudel. In German I ordered a Coke. Instead I almost got a sausage. I swear my French is way better. At the Pudel it was pretty ordinary. Eurokai was playing Techno til he passed out. He nearly took me with him on the way with that boring music. No offence.

Sunday Day.
Slept late and well, even though it was on a small serviette in the corner of Seb’s living room to the tones of Seb snoring. Later, Seb cooked scrambled eggs. The best in the world. Then we called Ralf cause I needed a haircut.


Ralf. He is the programmer at The Pudel, and awesome DJ, he used to also be a stylist for magazines like Stern, Vogue and i-D. Ralf also has the coolest hair. His own style is pretty extreme, but he really knows his business. His grandfather was a hair dresser and his father too. Ralf is part of my German family.


Here is Ralf’s hair cutting chair inside his salon called DAMEN SCHWEINER HERREN [Women Pigs Men].

Sunday Night.
We went to Hatari my new favourite restaurant place in Hamburg. Basically it is just like an American diner menu – hot dogs and burgers – except German. Wurst and Burgers with sauerkraut and senf. YUM. I was also reunited with my old friend:


But look what the Germans did to him.

From the table in Hatari we could see some local brothers laying down their vocals in their studio in the building opposite. For a moment there I almost thought I was in 8 Mile.

Then later there was DJing at the Pudel. The usual mayhem. Three hours sleep.

Oh my God. Sorry to get distracted but I’m watching Law and Order Detective Benson is dressed up like she got dressed at Cyberdog undercover with glowsticks looking for a missing policemans daughter. Oh God. AMAZING!

And in other news – while shouting epithets like “Moscow isn’t Sodom” and “Death to Gays,” neo-Nazis beat the singer from Right Said Fred Richard Fairbrass. I’m sure there have been many times many of us would have liked to have given him a slap cause of his one hit wonder but it wasn’t cause he’s gay. Tatu’s song “Not Gonna Get Us” didn’t save them from getting beaten as well. Even though they faked being gay, got hated on for then admitting they are straight, but now support gay right issues is Russia to polish their image.

Oh God. Now in Law and Order Ice T is going to beat the crap out of a pimp. Gotta go and check this. [I mean do you remember how Ice T was in the movie New Jack City where he points his gun at Nino Brown and said the classic line "I wanna shoot you so bad my dick is hard!!"]

xx Lektrogirl

May 28, 2007

Back From Hamburg


Yo I’m back form Hamburg. Woah.

I’m busted. More later.

xx Lektrogirl

May 26, 2007

A timely reminder

dont forget:
me and princess prollkoller DJing at da golden pudel on sunday. gwem and the gwemettes are gonna play. it’s superdefekts birthday.
i think it is going to get really really messy… like that song by true steppers song featuring dane bowers and victoria beckam “OUT OF YOUR MIND”… this tune’s gonna punish you
HAHAwhat an awesome song that is…
anyway if you do get there, let’s hope booty carrell and pirouette are behind the bar and you an order one of the banana juice cocktails.
i should be really packing rather than typing so laters – see you at the pudel.

xx Lektrogirl

OMG – I was just reading the lyrics to Out of Your Mind. It sounds just like me and ASBO D sending MySpace messages to each other. Baggsie I not be Dane Bowers.

Who do you think you are?
Tellin’ me I’ve gone too far
You must be out of your mind
Tellin’ your friends I was buggin’ you
That you weren’t being true
Steppin’ out of your mind
Open your eyes, boy you trouble me
Expensive lies, but you’re playing for free
I gave you what you want, what you need
My time is a wastin’, but for you its a breeze
——–CHORUS——–
(V.B.) You’re out of your mindGonna make this really easy for you
(D.B.) I’m not out of my mind
(V.B.) Gonna show you I’m not crazyBoy, you’re wasting my time
(D.B.) I’m not wasting your time
(V.B.) You’re out of your mind
(D.B.) You’re out of your mindOut of your mind
Thinking you were someone special
Time has shown and now I know
How wrong I have been
I’m always feelin’ that you’re usin’ me, confusin’ me, two-timin’ me
I can’t remember
How long has it been?
Open your eyes, boy you trouble me
Expensive lies, but you’re playin’ for free
I gave you what you want, what you need
My time is a wastin’, but for you its a breeze
——–CHORUS——-
You sing a song when people jump on you
What this guy is saying can’t be true
All I’m saying is that some girls should trip
Stop buggin’ and buggin’ me and if they want it, flip
I like despise
Open your eyes, girl you trouble me
Expensive lies, but you playin’ for free
I gave you what you want, what you need
My time is a wastin’, but for you its a breeze
——-CHORUS——- (x2)
True Steppers, you’re out of your mind
Ice cream, you’re out of your mind
Tub-a-lo, you’re out of your mind
Dane, you’re out of your mind
This tune’s gonna punish you.

April 14, 2007

Weekend In Hamburg

I spent Easter in my beloved Hamburg seeing some of my bestie faves. It was a total chill out cause my head had been totally fried by my cold and hard work.

The first day in Hamburg can be summed up by me commenting an unused tampon rolling lonely down the Reeperbahn, having a lengthly converstation that a brand of tissues my friend Booty has is identical to a repackaged brand for sale in the UK, learning new German words by reading a kids magazine about horses. Schwein gehabt! It ended on an even bigger bum note cause there was some shit Hard Techno DJ’s at the Pudel. They were so boring even the DJ’s were sitting down.

The next night was EXCELLENT. Booty was DJing with Pirouette at Elbe76 – an awesome restaurant run by my friend Hannah. We had dinner and then drank a lot.

I managed to see the new Scooter video on MTV. It’s pretty weak.

It can be described as a cover version of Culture Beat’s Mr. Vain by H.P. Baxxter’s old band Celebrate the Nun.

I also got to catch up on Flavor of Love. If you didn’t catch it yet you should.

When Hottie served up the raw chicken she cooked in the microwave with vegetables stuff up it’s but I nearly laughed til I cried. And that one called New York! Mentalist!

Later dudes xx Lektrogirl

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