Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

February 20, 2011


Tonight we went to the new Ottolenghi restaurant Nopi. Then we went to the Trocadero looking for Hitty Mouse. They didnt have it but there was a lot of other stuff. We won enough tickets to swap for a plushy loveheart with arms and legs that we brought home and rubbed with catnip and gave to Hobart. She licked it good. It was really dribbly when she finished with it.

Tomorrow I am going to try cooking dim sum for the first time. If I fail, I am going to try and enrol in the cooking school in Hong Kong for the day when I am there.

Then we watched two episodes of SVU and one of Criminal Minds.

It must be really late and I must be really tired because I am frowning.

November 30, 2010


I could never find a personal association in my mind for the image that gets evoked by the assumed perception as to how a baby feels directly after its born and the gigantic scream it make as it comprehends the change of environment and how different and impossible everything seems.

I was on the phone to my mother this morning (its my birthday tomorrow – how fitting) and I looked out the window and wanted to scream and cry.

It’s snowing.

I hate it.

I really hate it.

What to wear? Unsteady feet, sludge, dog shit, broken bones, dead frozen birds, burning cold hands, ear ache, losing hats and/or gloves, travel delay, COLD.

A few of the more positive things I can think of for snow.

I thought after all the time I have been in London – since 1995 (were you even born then?) – you’d think I’d be used to it.

I’m not.

If anything, my snow loathing has increased through time to the point where I would throw myself under a train to avoid it all, if the trains were running on time that is.
For everyone who loves snow I am sorry to turn your snow yellow. For your sake I will add these snow loathing exclusion zones:

- and snow is improved by it being your day off
- on a postcard or calendar
- deep white snow on a sunny day
- quality fake snow
- when you see snow in canada and they freeze maple syrup on it (there was a segment on sesame street or something as a kid)
- covered in blue syrup and called a snow cone
- any time it is spelled ’sno’

August 13, 2010


My lucky number is 13 and I live in house number 13. And one plus three is 4 which is a nice and stable number.

I also believe Anton LeVay when he says:

Satanic music is not heavy-metal rock & roll… the music of supposed satanic groups such as AC/DC and Slayer is not really occult, because millions of people hear their songs on records and in concerts. What is really occult is what no one ever listens to anymore, songs that were popular but now are long forgotten, such as ‘Telstar’ and ‘Yes, We Have No Bananas.’ LaVey keeps a list of such lost songs. He believes that by playing them, he releases their power.

Music is a magical tool, a universal language… f you wanted it to rain, for instance, you could play every song with rain in the title. If no one else is playing those songs, there is still a certain charge in them. It might just rain.

So whoever it is playing all the rain songs and writing letters to the Church of Satan, can you please stop?

July 30, 2010



I got a call from my Mum at work this morning with news about the guy I have been spending time with recently that he is not the marrying kind – through word of my Auntie who knows this guys exgirlfriend pal.

Does anyone else ever wonder why I moved to Britain? I wasn’t for the weather, or the quality of the men – who it seems are all not the marrying kind.

The way my mother said to me “Oh well he isn’t the marrying kind. That doesn’t matter does it?” made me wish I had died from chicken pox when I was 18.

I just met the guy and suddenly feel like I wish I didn’t because the universe is too small and I feel claustrophobic and choking. I wish there was another universe I could run away to all together.

July 1, 2010


Which seems so far out of my reach when I open my eyes. But in the dark I know where you are.


And in addition to those sentiments let me illustrate the two thoughts plaguing me:

I’m a bit of a nutter with too much nervous energy who always says the wrong thing because my mouth is moving faster than my head

[Update 04.07.10 more than likely it is because I am getting my period and I am super horny but THAT GUY WITH THE HAIR!! Hey mate! I'm leaving my my door unlocked okay?!]


You are a high maintenance self interested nerd too precious for your own good – or any body else’s.

If anyone can explain the Quantum Mechanics of all that too me I will be able to rest easy tonight.

P.P.S check out this awesome .gif

May 22, 2010


Update, post, log-in, smile. It’s too hard. I’m too sleepy. Just me and the cat. Sorry, back soon. My arms are like lead.

May 18, 2010


Desperate as ever, in any city. I could rip my own heart out and throw it to the crows.

May 12, 2010


I’m at gate 16 with a bloated period belly and lower back pain as a result of strutting round Hong Kong like Miss It. Or Germany’s Next Top Model. Whichever is trashier in a tasteful way.

Today was Bird Market – if I didn’t have bird flu before I sure do now – flower market and then fabric and trims district. I dropped a few bombs in a few shops stocking up on supplies like buttons.

Then I went to The Dragon-Centre in west west west west Kowloon. Don’t go there unless you like looking at piles of trash in the street and old people selling trash on blankets etc like me and enjoying the beauty in sadness.

The point is though at big shopping centres there are always clean toilets and food courts. Today was a Pizza Hut lunch. Get this – pepperoni tortilla pizza. A wafer thin base almost like paper with pepperoni, cheese, sauce, sweetcorn and PEACH. Too fucking good.

I’m sad to leave Hong Kong.

April 17, 2010


Another nice mail I got the other week. Sometimes I feel like shit and giving up. So whoever you are – thanks for letting me know you get something out of what I do. It makes me feel great.

    i was linked to your blog months ago and have been reading it daily ever since.

    reading this blog has literally talked me down from the ledge and seen me through the darkest and most crippling hrs of my recent break up.

    thankyou you so much for being so goddamn talented creative hilarious cool witty and styling.

    i dont know how i could have gotten through the last few months without it.


In other news last night I went to The Alibi for Deano’s birthday. The whole place smelled like DIY and sawdust which I love very much. And also there was a strong smell of coriander. Stood at the bar drinking all night as I couldn’t quite bring myself to dance to EMF. I met them once. I don’t know who was more of their head – them or me.

March 19, 2010


And that is my life. You know it.

January 28, 2010



On sale on eBay now.

November 16, 2008


I walked back from dinner and he said “Some people are just destined to spend their lives single.” I was laughing and crying with snot and tears down my face I begged him to stop and he said that it was just how it is sometimes. I couldn’t even walk any more and cried and said “This year has been so so horrible. Please stop. I can’t bare it.” And kept laughing too. Someone else said I was emotionally incontinent.

My mother called and told me she had read my blog the other day. Before she went on I had to hold the phone away from my ear and shout “No no no please don’t tell me you’ve read it. You can read it if you want but I don’t want to hear what you have to say about it.” Which turned into a big conversation about how on evening at the dinner table she sat their with my sister quoting sections of my diary they found back to me with great hysterics between the two. I was so ashamed. I wanted to die. So it must come as no great surprise then that after that my boundaries on public and private are totally fucked.

I heard some great gossip stories this weekend. I was really laughing hard. I also found some BRILLIANT material for the Sex Attack video.

November 10, 2008


, originally uploaded by sannah kvist.

November 9, 2008


So Sarah and Grissom are no longer together, their relationship withered as he couldn’t make up his mind. Now Grissom is in Lady Heather’s upstairs bedroom asking her to stay. As painful as they are, stories of breaking hearts, lust and longing and dreams that never come true are so attractive to me. And I guess why I end up in the world of lost loves with a pair of kiddies knickers on my dining room table and my heart feels like I swallowed a stone.

That is why I am so in love with some of the pictures I collect for lameatnames.com which I am relieved to say is now back online.

Tomorrow I will continue on my picture framing mission. I have pictures of cancers and illustrations of eruptive fevers from antique books, gems and flowers, naked ladies and drive in porn movie posters. I am looking forward to the next lot of London guests who may come my way. I will also put together a proposal for a video that I would like to make for Appareil for their song “Sex Attack” [which I have blogged about before].

Also in other news: Drx, Role Model and I have all swapped Wii numbers. We can swap Mii’s… I only have two Mii’s at the moment, me and my boyfriend who is a black guy called Wasteman. I made him tall and skinny like Snoop Dogg.

And this from harriet_the_spy is worth a note.

Trying To Start A Meme

What’s the oldest item of clothing you own? I’ve had this PJ top since I was nine or ten and watched my breasts develop under its thin cotton M&S comfort: ‘Take It Easy’ you sheep.

I will get around to doing this one day only I feel disadvantaged cause my really old stuff is at home in Australia and probably in Mum’s polishing rag basket by now. I’m sure to have some old NIKE tops from when I was in my Sporty Spice phase though if I dig deep enough. To elucidate on the Sporty Spice phase: It was actually when I was going to Rephlex Raves “back in the day” wearing things like neon pink Speedo swimming costume with a massive zipper down the back, combat trousers, a red Helmut Lang tulle vest and giant Nike trainers back in 1996. And made up like a cosmetic counter exploded in my face.

xx Lektrogirl

November 2, 2008


There are some things that I just can’t tell because they are all mine things and I don’t want to share them with you. But take Bryan Adams instead. It’s a banger.

I’m stupidly tired and I can want to sleep and be alone with my dreams.

Tomorrow, I will worry about lameatnames.com – I have been approached by many different people – even a company who wants to assist because they think I can help them with amateur porn on the iPhone. Yeah big business.

I have two friends with a crisis each and I must assist them – one can’t cook and the other one can’t fuck someone cause she love him too much [a generalisation].

xx Lektrogirl

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