Lately I have been pursuing the companionship of men via online dating sites in the hope that I meet someone a bit older, with a job, their own flat etc. In the gag reflex inducing sea of “cuddles on the sofa”, “red wine”, “a mean pasta”, “DVD’s” and “getting away for the weekend” I have found a few of the right kind of weirdos who may or may not be stabbers, but have least picked up the cheque.
One poor guy who actually works with a girl I know. I confided in her, she got drunk, told a colleague of theirs and the guy apparently got a ribbing at work about it. I wasn’t pleased. And quite embarrassing to be actually blocked from contacting this guy ever again… He must have been thrilled.
Another guy was very nice, told me he was looking forward to the next meeting because he had such a great time, wanted to meet my cat, big smiles, big kiss etc etc. Then what I call the malediction of the British – a text message a little while later saying “Cards on the table I felt no romance…” Ladies and gents, why not just say that to my face instead of acting otherwise? I really curse the British for the “nice to the face, grimace in the cuff.” You don’t know you do it and I fall for it every time.
Another guy is actually a transvestite, no date but funny chats. He’s great but too young for me and I’m not old enough to be a cougar yet.
At least I don’t feel totally invisible. But at the end of today, I just melted into the sofa watching Law and Order Criminal Intent with the super hot Jewish detective never wanting to step foot outside of my house again and happier in my $9.50 K-mart grey marle old man tracky dacks and a grey Chesty Bond vest.
At last, an arena for posting all my Internet intimate pictures. Everytime I put pics on here I get told by everyone “I CAN’T LOOK AT THAT AT WORK!!!” so instead, there is now a dedicated website to forlorn desire, absurd nudity and heartbreaking loneliness. There is a lot in the bin there.
What the fuck do I look like here with Alex last Thursday night on Max’s birthday at the George and Dragon? Let it be known that Max actually felt Alex up on the left nipple and Alex liked it. Also let it be known that I was actually wearing a bra.
The night was so hot and muggy and I had an upset evening earlier storming out of restaurants etc that I had to go home with a stomach ache.
Here is another HML picture. Paul Pieroni took this one at Visions. Was it Cocadisco? I don’t remember now – too many Malibu and Pineapples.
In further scintillating news:
More on my supposed rocked fuelled superstar love life. Please note the phone is out of credit and that glass is definitely half empty.
But I got my eye on you and I’m gonna look you up some time soon YGM?
And just for the record, a friend came over to drop off the keys to their house so I can check on it while they are travelling. I said “You know I don’t really have anything to talk to you about any more. There isn’t anything I want to tell you.” My friend told me they saw the Sexual Seduction XXX Snoop Dogg video on YouPorn. So I looked at it and it was totally yawn. I just wanted to make it clear that YouPorn is not something I regularly look at.
P.S. this has reminded me of a funny story about an ex with a cucumber, butter and his bum that an ex of his did. Oh GOD mega lols. Some of the stories I have heard. Life is good folks. Life is good.
Lord Fauntleroy said that there is no such thing. [You can see that it was doomed from the off.]
I beg to differ and what I consider to be Web 2.0 – Facebook, Myspace, Friendster [remember that! LOL I wish I could remember my login and password] FLICKR [oh where would I be without you] and of course Blogger, rounded corners and scribble fonts.
An aside: “OH yes! So yes I was right! My blogger files are on my server Lord Fauntleroy! You didn’t believe me.”
So tonight Drx and I chatted on ICQ like it was the good old days when we would chat on micromusic about Scooter, Marcel Masters would pop up every now and again with his hello kitty picture [OH MY DAYS - I think we had to have him banned or an official warning] and about falling in love and falling out of love and other such interesting matters. [No I never ripped out someone's spine and shoved it down their throat but I was close.] Drx told me that I must post something new on my blog for him to read in the morning or he will blow up the whole internet. I would like to see him try. I asked Bitch Ass Darius if the internet could ever ‘run out’ one day and he told me ‘no’ and explained about all kinds of things that would make it impossible.
Tonight, Drx and I used the internet to discuss Photoshop and it’s use to erase identity on the internet. I had found a wonderful collection from a Flickr user who was quite good at drawing sunglasses on his nudie wife.
I wish I could find the pictures of the woman who has the pool cue up her fanny that I found while chatting to Silverlink one night on Facebook with the womans face all scratched out with the pencil tool but alas, I have no clue where they are right now.
OH YEAH and does anyone remember that gay website where men would discuss the interiors of people homes who had post nudie shots of themselves online around with the bodies all blanked out? It was amazing and big in like 2000 or so. If anyone remembers anything about this site please let me know. It was HILARIOUS. I submitted a picture of a friend of mine who was dressed in a rubber outfit cause the shelves behind him were atrocious.
Anyway – not a lot of gossip in this post or anything like that. I just had to do it to save the internet for all of us tomorrow lest Drx try to get up to no good.
L’il Money sleeps on the sofa so what should mbrain and I do but surf YouTube showing each other our favourites. As per usual I get embroiled showing ‘Dem Boys’ etc. We also check some other random shits, and now today I have time to go back through all the bookmarks and do some intense URL C.I.O.-ing.
Now – who remembers “EXPLICIT CONTENT ONLY” by Evan Roth. He is one bad ass mother fucker. EXPLICIT CONTENT ONLY is a project of his started in 1995 and is the entire N.W.A. Straight Outta Compton album edited down into just the “explicit” content.
It sounds like this:
Fabulously this project has been released on vinyl this year. So while reading all about that project I learnt about #BADA55 and #BADA55 In A Can. #BADA55 is the hexadecimal representation for light green and another one of Evan Roth’s projects. Anyway through reading about this, I discovered something which is indeed the true subject of this post called FUCK FLICKR. “FuckFlickr is open-source image gallery software that won’t narc you out.“
And then I looked at a bunch more of the stuff on his Roth’s website. Then I got bored. Then I got cold. Then I turned the heating on.