Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

July 16, 2010

MAKE DO AND MEND

I wanted to make a post about some lovely make do and mend projects around my house at the moment** [19.07.10 pic update below] – my new favourite belt which is just the elasticated waist band of a pair of mens boxershort I bought because I liked the print and wanted the scraps of fabric for something, my curtains I drew myself on sheets of fish and chip paper, and my very chic way of framing pictures but when I got to work my computer wont read the fucking card from the camera. So I have to make do and mend in another way and come up with something else to post.

Just to say first though I went to the FUN Magazine launch last night and drank too much. Paracetamol and loud music now are doing little to clear my thoughts but at least I don’t feel as gurpy as I did this morning.

Anyway here is a little tit bit of Friday afternoon fashion world gossip. Please excuse the XXCENSOREDXX’s – I could lose my job.

ah yes, XXCENSOREDXX. she can be a devil…..lovely back story…Barneys dept store did a window to coincide with the award….Icon.

XXCENSOREDXX asked all her friends to make a statement…to put in the window…Friend A XXCENSOREDXX’s best friend had a problem with her and Friend A wanted to say XXCENSOREDXX is” a piece of shit”….they made up in time…and XXA.L.T.XX refused to give a statement…saying “havent I said enough about you for 30 yrs….??!!”

XXCENSOREDXX is only interested” in the shinny” …that means she is only interested in high profile people and what they can do for HER…

I guess I am lucky to be privy to all this ..but I have to tell the gang of 4, ( Someone, Friend A, XXA.L.T. XX and XXCENSOREDXX) which surrounds XXDUDEXX and myself gets a bit sticky at times!

nothing like Friday gossip and scoop right! ?

No mate. Nothing like it!



July 21, 2009

BEST ON OFFER?

Bored, I checked out the H&M style guide and came up with this classic outfit. Oh God.

In other news, XXCENSOREDXX told me all about how he gave a blow job to a middle Eastern cab driver. All went well – BUT THE CAB DRIVER STILL CHARGED THE FARE!

Massive LOLS

xx Lektrogirl

May 4, 2009

MASSIVE TOP SECRET LOLS

I spent a day this Bank Holiday weekend hanging out with XXCENSOREDXX who told me in the strictest confidence about one of the most embarrassing things that could possibly happen when you are in bed with a guy for the first time [other than having your period or not having your period but realising you had an old tampon inside of you FOR EXAMPLE ONLY!] XXCENSOREDXX awoke early only to fart and shit her pants in bed right next to a totally hot dude that she has been trying to get with cause she thinks he is totally banging. Like OMG! Fortunately there were only two stains on the sheet about the size of mini Post It notes [I made her draw a diagram on a piece of paper while choking back a laugh] and the guy slept through the hole thing. XXCENSOREDXX was worried that the guy knew what happened and I told her “Don’t worry. A guy does not hang out all day with a girl who shit the bed right next to him on the first day. I’m telling you he does not know.”

Then the pair of us were killing ourselves laughing.

XXCENSOREDXX is good like that. She’s a good one. So – even though it might seem I am reporting back a piece of ‘juicy gossip’ I actually appreciate the fact that she is a kind of ‘no shit’ kind of person and talks about just ‘doing her own business’.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. But yerrr also a hilarious story. I am glad I have real girlfriends.

March 3, 2009

NEWS ROUNDUP

Oh Allah where is my time going these days? I have been in CSI K Hole, or more to the point, first series Law and Order Criminal Intent when Vincent D’Onofrio was the most hot. But even when he was a bit bloated I would still do him. I was so pleased to see him in the first episode ever of LAW CI that I had to text Pippa while she was waiting outside Regines to get in! Of course a brief text message about his babeness ensued.

Anyway news round up:

Went out for a drink last night and my mate told me after much prodding from me – she was trying to pretend that I didn’t ask the question about 4 time – that XXCENSOREDXX has a dick that she described as “tubby”. And I guffawed so much that I begged her to let me post it. She said so. And I actually was begging saying “Pleaaaaase!!” Always the lady, she was telling me “No” but like a child I whinged until I got away with being allowed to say this much.

Valeria my Parisian partner in crime arrives on Friday evening. The excitement is almost too much. Particularly as Covvo already got here last Thursday back from Berlin and Mrs V will follow her soon after at in April. THE ORIGINAL LADY GANG WILL BE BACK IN BUSINESS!! As for the present Lady Gang [Mrs Kipling, Mrs Gorman, Madame, The Cardinal etc] I am still waiting for a date for the next dinner party!

Also have been having some good Internet chats with some Internet Porn Artists – a guy called Serigio Messina [more later] and a woman called Barbara DeGenevieve [more later]. Had not such a nice chat with Prancehall who told me to “fuck off and die” for no apparent reason on Throwawayfuck.com – I didn’t even realise I was still on his radar.

Last but not least!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!! I walked past and there he was. I could not believe that HE was outsite sitting with HER!!!!!! Unfathomable. But I will have to work it out in the least stalkerish way possible.

xx Lektrogirl

January 12, 2009

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB #21

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 10 January 2009 00:25
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: g’day, and g’day to you an’all. 1/4 to 11a.m. here, guess y’r in the scratch escaping from the cold and farkin snow?

That was a long and interesring e’mail, shagger. I like to read about your pursuits that haunt you dailySpecially about your mates who fall out about’usually’ fuck all. Talking about cold, you’ld get a shock if you were home here, the Summer, HAS PASSED tASMANIA BY. The best we have had so far is 16 degrees C’ Cold winds and rain, snow on the mountain, etc,etc.
Program on S.B.S. last night Secrets of the orgasm. So they built a see-thru plastic insert spectrum so you could look deep into her vagina. Supposedly looking for the ‘G’ spot. whatever the fark that is? Any way it did nothing for an aged 83 yr old, who’ld rather have a bowl of hot soup anyway.
Ain’t that typical of public utilities, like they couldn’t or wouldn’t tell you over the blower how to change the farkin batteries. Oh no. you got to have a night school ticket and an electrician’s certificate to change a battery. mate
Shower of faecal nobbies.
Sara and the family seemed to have had a fulsome festive season. G.F.luck to them. At least they didn’t have to engage in solitary thoughts and on your own-ness. Though I think I might be glad if I tell myself the truth, because IO do find XXCENSOREDXX a bit hard to take. Thick as bricks. XXCENSOREDXX read a booki in(fiction that is)in his life gets on my tits. Specially if he beats me at chess. Young sAM AT6 YEARS PLAYS BETTER CHESS THAN i DID WHEN i WAS 10.Fuck the caps lock! He’ could be a little champion the way he’s going. learning to play.I f you hear a violent squeal over the oceans. you’ll know the little fart has beaten his Grandpa? Makes you wonder, what is the worth of 70 odd years of experience when some bright spark comes up and digs a hole of defeat for you?
How’s the Deutch going? Or has Le Langue Francois takenover? Hoe about a bit of low class Russian? “Yopt via match, ti chouyou garbati! You stuff yer mother yer hump backed prick!
SEE YA LATER MATE. i’LL SEND A SHORT TEXT TO TELL YOUTHE EMAIL IS IN YOUR COMP. i WAS GOING TO SAY BOX, BUT IT SEEMED IAPPROPRIATE!” those bloody caps lock agen. Sorry. I think the comp does it to annoy. Like the Red Duchess in Alice . The baby she was chucking pepper on ‘only cried to annoy!
All the best kiddo. Don’t know what we’ld talk about if you were here. Couldn’t be worse than what I write on the comp?
Luv ex yer pa. XXXXX

January 3, 2009

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

I have had the Commander on the case. An email arrived this morning.

# # # # # # # # #

Hello Emma, He was wearing brown Blundstones. I’ve spent hours trying to find info all I’ve come up with is XXCENSOREDXX (if you want a laugh look up XXCENSOREDXX or XXCENSOREDXX on my space) and his father who sponsored a rally car in Tas. I thought I might phone the shop in Sydney that sell his guitars and say I want to interview him for something? so I can at least find out which state he lives in. (I need to work on the story more) why is he so elusive, has he become a shut in like me? the tan says no.** Hobart night life is all spray tan, choppy haircuts, knife fights and serious binge drinking, there were photos going around last year called the bottle girl-yes she did put it there and she was proud of it. Funny you mention XXCENSOREDXX when they had to leave the last restaurant the other shops around them had Champagne to celebrate.

# # # # # # # # #

Hmmm… no closer to discovering the whereabouts of a certain someone BUT some tentative plans in place. The last brilliant piece of news I got from the Commander was when Myers in Hobart was on fire and the new MAC counter melted flat as a pancake. That was a while ago now.

xx Lektrogirl

** Am very impressed with this deduction.

OH GOD and some elected themselves the love of my life not so long ago in the heat of an argument and it was one of the statements that burst into the room like a balloon of pink fairy floss fantasy so insane and bizarre – like a cat in a volvo dropping by to deliver Easter eggs wearing a false moustache – I could only laugh and laugh [you know one of those snorty chokey hilarity ones] and take great satisfaction in saying “Errrr and what planet are you living on?” and realise that the whole argument was mute. The guy was seriously deluded.

January 1, 2009

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB NEW YEAR

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 01 January 2009 00:11
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: The festive season is over thanks to the fireworks.

I don’t think your email of the 8th December really sunk into my addled consciousness when I read it the first time.Now having read it again your comments regarding XXCENSOREDXX are certainly no less than true. Although I don’t think penises should be so maligned by associating them with that crunt. I remember being in similar circs with a XXCENSOREDXX of Sydney who saved me from deportation when the Harbour Police caught up with me, Not, love, just a bit of rumpy pumpy and somewhere to sleep til I got a flat and a job etc. When she came across a millionaire fisherman from Darwin who wanted to marry her, she offered me 200 pounds if I would let her divorce me? This meant he didn’t have to know she was already married . Yack. Yack. Yack. I gladly accepted the 200 quid and moved on. But that XXCENSOREDXX heap of busted bumholes deserves a good kick up the anus, and if your sure you wouldn’t rise to his advances IO would him a severe dose of S.T.D. I hope you are able to send an email. When I don’t get a comment about an email I sent to you, I wonder if you are having difficulties with the system Windows offers ,here?
Hope your year does progress a little more happily my little mate. I always find I can make the thick shit which is my brain think more happily and positively When I think/tell it to. I am told quite frequently that I am paranoid, but I just tell them to G.F.
Luv yer poor ol’ Dad. He’s pretty rooted. Or Pretty and rooted!

October 22, 2008

TO V

No time to write to you all myself, but I wrote to V yesterday from work:

well so much to tell you. but i am also cured of my internet addiction – only because life took over and now i don’t have enough time to be addicted. the way of the world. perhaps the same with drug addicts – they have too much time on their hands?!

XXCENSOREDXX showed himself to me totally naked in a nudie game flash at the kitchen. however – i do believe XXCENSOREDXX to be great in bed. a shame i did not find out about him, but he fucks groupies. he has a XXCENSOREDXX. i dont want to be a groupie fuck. i’m better than that. even though every time i see him he flirts. and equally i flirt with him. but every time i tell him to fuck off and laugh. tho’ when he was leaving back to XXCENSOREDXX after the party i was still asleep in my bed and he came to see me and we kissed a little and i told him never to leave me again and that i hated him. and he said that it was the sweetest thing i had said to him and that i have hands like a porcelain doll. he is really beautiful – but his outfit was really bad. he looked like a poverty stricken clown.

now: i cant actually write on XXCENSOREDXX blog that she is murdering style, there will be a bloodbath in london. but i think you should do it. or get someone you know to do it. she doesn’t allow anonymous blogging.

actually – i think i will update my blog with this email to you. it is pretty much all i have to say about life right now.

x

October 5, 2008

BEST SONG OF THE YEAR

Okay so I know that XXCENSOREDXX is all over the place like a fiddlers elbow – and I just as guilty for it being so as anyone else but I have to say XXCENSOREDXX sent me an MP3 this afternoon of what in my mind is the most incredible song of the year. I have danced for the last half an hour and loved it over and over. I cannot tell you anything about it though – only other to say it is the most BANGING PARTY TUNE and you will shit when you get to hear it.

IT IS FUCKING MASSIVE.
M-A-S-S-I-V-E. It is going to be wicked for Christmas Raves.

I’m not allowed to post the track but anyone who wants to come over for dinner and listen is welcome OROROROROROROROR:::>>>

On the 18th September I will be spinning in Nantes for Puyo Puyo:

10-18-2008 22:00 at CHEZ FICHTRE
18 quai des Antilles, Nantes, 44000
Cost: 2 euros
LIVE : FELIX KUBIN DJ : LEKTROGIRL, SYLVIE ASTIE, THE BRAIN VJ : VIDJEDGE

and I will be playing this track for sure!!

xx Lektrogirl

P.S.

And as I can’t tell you about the song, here is another one which has a really great cut and paste YouTube video by Jean Nippon. Who I this is cute.

September 25, 2008

NOT ONLINE A LOT

As I keep saying I haven’t been online a lot lately. I have been feeling so shit you really cannot believe. It is my old friend “Lost At Sea Feeling” back again. If you have these times too, then you will understand. Hopefully you do, cause that will mean you are normal. But yeah, I have even thought about killing this blog. I started off not giving a fuck about what I wrote on here and telling great gossips and having a laugh. But has timed has moved on, I have found myself biting my tongue more often and thinking “Fuck should I say that?” and deleting half a paragraph. And that isn’t why I started this blog in the first place. It was never meant to be a music blog, or a look at my H&M outfit blog, or anything, it was just supposed to be my place to sit down and chat away. Rather than have 4 AIM windows open and FB all running at the same time. What I find disturbing is why do I suddenly give a fuck even?

My relationship with my longest love is going through a rocky time. The relationship feels pretty empty and soulless at the moment? Maybe it is the weather? Maybe it wasn’t meant to go on forever? Like the old man at Ed’s bar in Chicago [when he was propositioning me to go back to his house and strip so he could look and not touch] said to Paul and I “You too are good for now. Not forever. Just for now.” I am even looking at jobs back in Australia because I am tired of life with my longest love. City of London – I don’t love you like I used to. But then – maybe it is the people I know and don’t want to know any more that are making me feel less inclined to venture out doors and walk your streets in my big black boots.

God – fuck it – I feel like I am living someone else’s life if I can’t talk about my own here.

It is so weakening getting finger fucked by a guy who “doesn’t want a girlfriend” and the only dicking I got is when they dicked me round. XXCENSOREDXX. What a waste of fucking time. It was in essence, my first lesbian relationship. LOLZ.

In other news: another friend told me once that they never wanted to work with someone on particular types of projects and that she wanted it to be ‘our thing’ – I guess she was having a hating on her particular day. Because now time has passed and indeed the two of them are working on something. I’m genuinely happy for my friend. It has put my nose out of joint tho.
So maybe it is my turn to be the possessive lesbian and I should go round finger fucking women like I was the aforementioned man? HA.
Actually I think it might have more to do with my absolute horror about getting forgotten about which stems from childhood favouritism, my parents not coming to a school party, my father missing my swimming tests, bullied at school etc etc. [a moment to cry folks and could have possibly deleted the whole paragraph] And something I definitely will not talk about here. Unless I’m totally drunk and wearing heels.

And speaking of being a lesbian – Max was apparently having a conversation with XXCENSOREDXX about how much I love cock. It is always a bit uncertain with Max when he has a glass of Rosé in his hand as to whether it is Tourette’s at that moment, or he had it while talking to XXCENSOREDXX, or was serious then or laughing now. Either way I found it funny. He teases me constantly about XXCENSOREDXX and how I should get with him. Personally Pippa and I think it is because Max’s wants to vicariously have sex with XXCENSOREDXX himself. The thing about loving cock – Mum if you are reading this – that is what MAX said not me.

And for the first time ever, I will reveal a XXCENSOREDXX by way of a photographic clue:

He is one of the men in this picture. And I am certain that he must find me so attractive sitting here in hot pink polka dot flannel pyjama bottoms, a Silas red t-shirt, and orange Ralph Lauren sweatshirt I cut into a cardigan, powder blue Falke socks and red Chanel flip flips eating banana muffins I cooked for dinner cause I had nothing else in the house whining about my life. So seriously Max’s match making would be worse for him than me.

Yeah I should go to bed. But before I do:

This is the part of myself I absolutely hate hate hate the most. Compared to everything – all parts of me inside and out. This is it. We can all see that I would make an excellent Christmas ham and where the surgeons knife should go or straw or whatever he would do to get rid of the grossness on the inner AND outer thighs.

Hello friend. We are back together again like we should be and I have no secrets from you.

xx Lektrogirl

August 20, 2008

DAY OFF

And what a day. Still broke and waiting for pay day I went back into town cause the guy at the Leicester Square Timpsons failed to cut a key correctly and I needed him to do it again. The key he cut as a replacement also didn’t work. I hate him. He looks like a large version of the boot makers elves crossed with something out of A League of Gentlemen or something with brown gack all over his glasses. I also visited the Photographer’s Gallery which wasn’t a lot, then went and had a piece of rhubarb tart at PAUL and a really horrid coffee. After that I went into an antique etching and print place and asked the nerdy guy “I’m looking for pictures of naked ladies or tea parties.” I mean what else would I want? A ‘Negro’ boxer, a prize winning horse or a battle scene – hardly. Anyway the poor guy blushed his face off and couldn’t even bring himself to to say ‘naked ladies’ to his female boss [I bet he is big into vintage porn]. She sent me off to Cecil Court where I found some amazing plant lithographs and maps of Tasmania from the olden days. I didn’t buy anything though. I will definitely go back though. I couldn’t help but think of the rude man in Paris who has the shop selling old photographs in is it the Marché des Enfants or something? I so feel a trip to Paris coming soon.

Anyway – got home, had a nap but got woken by Superduck asking me about the name of a Café in Paris – which apparently has great hot chocolate. I don’t even drink hot chocolate. Then OMG who should appear online by my old friend Noodles who I was able to swap some timely gossip with about one of the more highly strung ex’s of my days and a lot of snorting ROLFing done on my part. Noodles also gave me the missing link to a mystery I have been trying to investigate for the last couple of weeks. So I was straight back on the phone to Superduck who could make like Craig David and Fill Me In. Superduck could assure me that XXCENSOREDXX is a piece of work and XXCENSOREDXX only goes for trophy men. HAHA. Good luck to XXCENSOREDXX then. To wind up the conversation, Superduck then went to tell me he wanted to jizz on Maude’s face cause she is so cute, sweet, innocent and lovely [it is his cat] and take picture of it. Cool. Thankfully though he sent a text later telling me that even though he was trying hard and was thinking of XXCENSOREDXX Maude’s little furry face really put him off and he couldn’t do it.

And to put the lid on the day, Mr Chips has been making me a couple of videos on Facebook after we told each other to ‘Get Fucked’ the other day. In one of them he sang a little song along with what he calls his ‘Paedo iPhone Piano’ where he said I was like a cat stuck in a petrol can. Which I thought was a very accurate description of me sometimes – I can be that prickly.

All in all I have really enjoyed my day off. I hope to goodness that Oscar is in the office tomorrow. He is the cutest dog in the world.

I have worked in some offices where there have been dogs that have been nothing but trouble – pissing and shitting on the floor, constantly barking, biting people, chewing up staff’s belongings – really badly trained dogs. Oscar on the other hand is just perfect! He has such a lovely nature and he is so friendly I love it when he sits at my desk and does my work for me. And I am going to see him tomorrow.

Oh cool – I just got another video from Mr Chips. He told me he is going to shoot me in the face and stab me in the cunt! Mr Chips really puts boys like Prancehall back in the playground when it comes to beef.

xx Lektrogirl

August 1, 2008

DRESSED LIKE A MORMON

Oh Allah. Today was pretty lacklustre. Dinner was pretty dramatic and ended up giving me a stomach ache. I try and be still like a mountain and last for an eternity but the rain is wearing me down. Then my close friend and confidant Alex said I dress like a mormon. Then apparently I am too tall. I got better though when we got out his iPhone and started looking at knickers on the Internet. And then we saw Nadia dressed like a whore on Kingsland Road looking fucking AMAZING. I wanted to stay out longer but I really felt sick to my stomach – so I decided to come home. And what happens when I check my inbox? The second email of the day from my friend from Hamburg Christian Weiß telling me all about his triathlon competitions with pictures [makes me feel guilty cause I never do any exercise], his travelling [makes me feel sad cause I haven't been anywhere since Christmas and I love to travel]. Anyway it’s good cause I love pen pals.

Actually me and Alex made some good joke, had a dance and drink and did a fake kiss for Jonjo so it wasn’t so bad. It was Max’s birthday.

Oh Jah. I’m just writing bullshit now.

I better go to bed.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Just to say I feel like I have committed a great sin by writing ‘Oh Allah’ instead of ‘Oh God’ and worry that I will be struck by lightening or stoned by men in the street tomorrow. Perhaps I should call and ask Manara for advice tomorrow and ask her if wearing a scarf to cover my hair will help? Tonight Alex said I dress like a mormon. Shit. I said that already. I’m not drunk I swear.

OMG!!!
XXCENSOREDXX, XXCENSOREDXX’s sister apparently got drunk and fucked XXCENSOREDXX!!!!! OF ALL PEOPLE [who apparently licked some girl's arse hole in the toilets of a club until she came and I swear to you she so didn't...] I tell you – when I heard, my jaw dropped. I was reeling. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Shock of a lifetime. My days.

June 23, 2008

HEY MATHIEU

Dear Mathieu

I is past two in the morning and I can’t sleep. Mostly because I am thinking of a way to come to Paris – I need someone to tell all my secrets too. For the most part, my blog is wonderful but there are always other things I want to write about as well. That is why I like to talk with you. I know you are a bad father but Bunny will always climb on the knee of Europe’s greatest Parisian Jew and whisper in your ear. God… I feel like I’m going a bit stir crazy tonight. What do you suggest?

I spent the day in bed watching Almodovar DVD’s. Today it was Kika. There was a scene where a rapist who has escaped from prison breaks into the house of his sisters employers, fake ties up his sister and goes into the bedroom to find his sister’s boss sleeping. He sticks pieces of a clementine into the pussy of the woman to taste her on the fruit. For some reason it made me think of XXCENSOREDXX and want to be lying in XXCENSOREDXX parents bed under the nude portrait they have of themselves looking out the window at the sun on the wall.

I also got an apology from XXCENSOREDXX, but XXCENSOREDXX can keep his two fingered half hearted tap on the shoulder to himself while he pretends to be all goody goody. The sad thing is, there is nothing going on and I miss his big jokes like crazy. It is so stupid. He just has an insecure girl riding his nuts.

Then there is XXCENSOREDXX. XXCENSOREDXX is my secret. And XXCENSOREDXX is who I think of the most and would be the first thing I would tell you all about. And the second. And the third.

Do you remember when we ate Burger King? I just remembered walking down Holloway Road.

D’accord. Moi je suis fatigue – ENFIN. Je vais au pieu. I hope I don’t have to see that ugly boude boudin any time soon. Save a seat for me at that nice restaurant we went to last time. I will meet you there as soon as I can.

xx Emma

June 22, 2008

SO EFFING GROSS

In the mood for DIY today after my astrology reading said that I can be lazy today and only attend to the essentials. So I decided to clean out all the waste pipes in the bathroom from the sink and shower. The picture above is just from the sink. That is a matted mess of hair, toothpaste and grout and got knows what else. It smelt fucking rank.

My mother keeps calling me and I keep avoiding her. I have nothing to tell her other than I’m broke, my neck hurts and I’m looking for a new job but can’t sit at the computer for too long. I’m not in the mood.

Last night at WORK IT was a real drag for various reasons. But I was able to conclude that XXCENSOREDXX is no longer the worst dressed girl in London. After only seeing XXCENSOREDXX in TWO outfits, she has superseded the original horror with a devastating skill. Really really bad. So apologies to the first worst dressed girl. I actually think you are quite pretty for what it is worth.

I was so distracted by trying to have a good time when really I wasn’t last night that I didn’t even think to test the smell of this. I wonder if it really smelt of baby powder!!

When I first woke up this morning I felt like another lead weight had been added to my load when I thought some random cat had puked in my back yard – the same cunty cat who broke the cover for my kitchen strip light perhaps?! – but no it turned out to be just a water logged slice of wholegrain bread my neighbours had thrown into the garden along with all the other shit they throw, when not yelling at their dog or singing Frère Jacques to their kid atonally.

And to cheer myself up, I am reposting this song from September 2007

Best song ever.

xx Lektrogirl

May 13, 2008

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #5

Unfortunately, due to the sensitivity of some of the subject matter contained therein, I was forced to XXCENSOREDXX sections of the last email from The G.A.

Takes me 2 and a half hours to s.s.s.* and dress myself each morning, which is why I am typing this note at 11.15 a.m.
Good to hear from you shags, NO I am not really a racist? I remember Ruthy Rare (rahray say) who was a New Zealand Moari and as dark as a fukkin blood sausage, Good fun though, Could play a ujke and sing like a thrush. Only quite little, hard to find in a double bed!!! XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX?
XXCENSOREDXX XXCENSOREDXX. shove it up yer joompa. Take ma’s credit card and extract up to 20$ worth to buy yourself some British fish and chips. (think of me when you eat them!) I will give her my next fortnites allowance to cover your end. I hope to hell you can get a feed of f’n'c’ for 20 $?
Yeah I know it must be tough having the imbalance problem. Specially if you got it off my side of the family. My ma and pa were quite a pair of fukkin wonkers during our lives. None of we three boys rarely ebver lived together, nor with our mother and father. We were always farmed out to one relative or another, even not relatives , just people who would take spare kids and bed ‘em and feed ‘em(like some old tart in Birmingham Mrs Hill) And Mrs Milligann in Renfrew street in Glasgow, et effincetera. Oo cares? that was yesterday and a whole lot of them ago. At least you and Sara spent most of your youth together, din ya?
I expect I was a bit of a pain in the arse. Selling grog and all. No wonder I ended up having a stroke.
I’ll get a lottery ticket. We’ll win 30 million and I’ll come home! We’ll live in the best hotel in Londinium! The Dorset? The Ritz? The park bench? Whatever
Luv from yer old fella. XXCENSOREDXX. cHEERS G.A. POPS.XXXX

I wish I could just leave that unXXCENSOREDXX cause it is so hilarious.
FYI – s.s.s. = shit shower shave

And thanks to everyone to wrote to tell me that they like my new video ALL OF MY FOR ALL OF YOU. It is always nice to receive positive vibes. We have all witnessed some odd behaviour from others on this blog of late. But like Lady Sovereign sang [I know - quoting her! YGM! LOLZ - but also kind of fitting]:

“Love me or hate me I’m still an obsession,
Love me or hate me that is the question,
If you love me then THANK YOU
If you hate me then FUCK YOU”

The best thing about that video is one of the garbage men who throws “Sov” in the truck is Jeyjon who used to be in Dead or Alive. NO JOKES.

xx Lektrogirl

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