Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

March 24, 2010

THANKS PALS

I got some nice emails. Thanks buddies. I saw CIB this morning. So nice. Thank you thank you. And then I ate this:

Not the piece above, but a wedge of Comté cheese from Waitrose. Lactose intolerance be fucked. Until I am on the loo later crying thinking of Manara asking myself WHY?! And trust me it won’t be all happy like 2girls etc [if you can call puking and eating it again happy?]

Then I got a text message from my boss who obvs had nothing better to do at work after everyone had gone and I had turned the lights off but go through the reception desk computers email spam folder and check what was in there on her own. Why? I don’t know. Why did I eat so much cheese? It was obviously very necessary. Tomorrow I am going to have to explain about web spiders, 250 spam in a day is no big deal, that yes the receptionist is doing her job and everything is double checked by everyone. And sit there feeling ill.

I GTG. That cheese is gurgling round in a bath of tea with honey and soya milk.

July 11, 2009

EAT DICK

This is the same woman who gave us the classic line “mechanical jack rabbit for the clit”

xx Lektrogirl

September 9, 2008

1 GIRL 1 CUP


1girl, 1cup, originally uploaded by nirE cigaM.

Today I am totally heavy hearted. I mean – he’s below your league you need a man ‘you’re a prick you were wrong’ stand up for yourself and don’t let yourself be part of the negative problem ‘you’re being an idiot’ so amazing ‘not impressed’ you can make each other happy ‘he won’t make you happy’ i love you ‘you aren’t attractive any more’.

Everyone – I can’t keep up with you – you are driving me crazy! Which way is fucking up?

The answer to that is neither way. Because ultimately, I’m a nihilist.

xx Lektrogirl

July 29, 2008

SERIOUS MOMENT

The Cardinal and I spent some time tonight wondering if it was wrong to even go on a play date with a married man. I told her this is a question we need to address at our age as it will soon become relevant.

Speaking as a woman who was once married who was play dated on by her husband, I would say it is pretty tough when the news breaks. But then in my situation, the couple were actually banging. Which is why I got so pissed off. I am also one of the most jealous people on the planet you could possibly meet. [Except I had an epiphany about this yesterday and I realised I didn't want to be jealous any more and I spent today with a lifetime of jealousy about things just passing through me - experiencing it all again. Weird.]

I still remember some advice my best friends’ mother gave me when I was 18 or 19: “If you can’t get your own, steal someone else’s.” But that isn’t a play date.

So play dates with married men – I don’t know.

I just know that my love life isn’t as rubbish as I make it out to be – there is some magic in the air – even if there is a lot of room for improvement. I dreamt someone was the archetype for all men last night. It was a super intense spiritual dream that came out of the thunderstorm.

Who knows what the future brings.

xx Lektrogirl

May 2, 2008

2 GIRLS 1 CUP-ISH

so happy!

March 28, 2008

NOT SUITABLE WITH A HANGOVER

As I have said many times before – Ramiro sends me the best YouTube videos.

This one I found on my own. Listen to the obsessions of the people involved.

I am now going to go an puke in a bucket for about three hours. 2 Girls 1 Cup might be more explicit, but in terms of grossness, it has NOTHING on this cause this cannot be faked. It is like 2000 VICE magazine gross jars rolled into one video.

xx Lektrogirl

Can I just reiterate again I feel so sick.

December 3, 2007

POWER POO

I am so proud of myself making this picture for Nick Abrahams. He really excelled himself with poo pics on my facebook, but then I did this one!! I feel a bit like the day I was laughing at my own jokes – who was it in front of – Cardinal I think. How embarressing.

xx Lektrogirl

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