Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

October 3, 2007

LIGHTWEIGHT

Today I am feeling more chillax than I have in ages! I’ve upgraded and I’m double fisting a Mac and PC cause I have my own office assistant doing his thangdizzle on the data entry on my other PC. So while I train him on the intimate details of Sage, I’m nursing a little headache from only 3 beers that I drank last night with two men in North London.


Prancehall doesn’t let me take pictures of him any more, but here is his new jacket that Daniel told me was from TK Maxx. Daniel was there thinking I was gonna laugh, but TK Maxx are cool.

Much of the evenings mirth was taken up by a story I had about the smell of XXCENSOREDXX’s pussy which I smelt on the face of Brains when he came round to my house once [much to Brains shame now... I mean... dirty! Totally XXXtina! And it was commented on the state of Brains bathroom in his studio. I went to the loo in there the other day and worried that I was going to get hepatitis.] Also, did you know how much Prancehall hates the smell of olives. I wonder how he goes with anchovies. I LOVE them. We went and had an amazing dinner all three of us at The Star. Me and ASBO had miso marinated fish and Pranny had a Poussin. This food totally shat all over anything I ate in Milan.

So I hope they don’t think I’m a complete freak any more – though I think I was on shakey ground when I was giving fashion tips about collared shirts being worn with hoodies is totally wrong, and also I had another dream about Prancehall where his character was included in the background as a line dancer. I don’t think I’m going to get air pied any more, but let’s see.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. There is the full write up with pictures you asked about.

May 31, 2007

Did I marry a homo?

Last night was Paul’s exhibition opening at Seventeen and the gallery was rammed. Every time I turned around tho’ Paul was talking to a different old guy with a pierced ear who was staring at Paul rather too intently. Philipa Cardinal said that it was perhaps Paul’s outfit was a little suggestive of that of a rent boy.

My favourite piece is this:

Video Compression Study 1
Paul B Davis and Jacob Ciocci

This one is the mash up of two sets of data from two separate YouTube videos using Paul’s fucked up keyframe technique. It’s hot.

I also like this:

Inside Edition
Paul B Davis

This one is a hacked NES cart. It’s hot.

Later on over the road at Jaguar Shoes, we had a really great time:

Paul was thrilled, and Silverlink and I discussed hair care tips and styling issues cause as Silverlink noted, he and I have very simlar hair. One thing for sure is that Silverlink really needs to work on his Photoface[TM] – I have got Photoface[TM] DOWN these days.

Through the journey of the evening I heard that Prancehall has started playing Blondie records – in particular Heart of Glass is a favourite of his. This was the source of great mirth. At the same time I was told this Prancehall actually walked in but so did Silverlink I went over to say hi to Silverlink and Prancehall came to talk to who I was just talking to. Not sure if it was a dual Air-Pie cause apparently I’m still in trouble for saying he PHYSICALLY has a big head or just one of those social circumstances. Anyway – this thing about Blondie – that’s not all I heard but the rest is under wraps for now.

I saw ASBO D at the exhibition too. He came up to me and though he didn’t officially apologise for calling me cunt, his first track he DJed at the Jaguar Shoes afterparty was my remix for Puss. He also said that I was far more musically talented than Paul.

It was nice to spend time with Philippa hearing news from her travels and tales of amazing food. Apparently her syphalitic cat is still well and survived her absence. OMG – brain clicked back into gear – she told me that XXCENSOREDXX used to stroke the beard of XXCENSOREDXX who uses bikini clippers on his beard and say that XXCENSCORED’SXX beard feels just like XXCENSORED’SXX pussy hair. Lord.

Alex Tea was also present, after having some root canal work.

There is something really sexual about this picture. I think it is the seam line down the roof of his mouth that does it to me.

And finally – latest neighbourhood news is that local store Pure Groove that used to be the epicentre of UK Garage and 2 Step, now more useful record store, had a display in their window of BOY BETTER KNOW t’s. [You know - the ones that everyone on Prancehall's blog wears] Unfortunately for them some local lad ran in and swiped the lot. While I was in Pure Groove browsing the other day there were THREE enquiries in 30 minutes from people wanting to buy these t’s.

xx Lektrogirl

May 26, 2007

A timely reminder

dont forget:
me and princess prollkoller DJing at da golden pudel on sunday. gwem and the gwemettes are gonna play. it’s superdefekts birthday.
i think it is going to get really really messy… like that song by true steppers song featuring dane bowers and victoria beckam “OUT OF YOUR MIND”… this tune’s gonna punish you
HAHAwhat an awesome song that is…
anyway if you do get there, let’s hope booty carrell and pirouette are behind the bar and you an order one of the banana juice cocktails.
i should be really packing rather than typing so laters – see you at the pudel.

xx Lektrogirl

OMG – I was just reading the lyrics to Out of Your Mind. It sounds just like me and ASBO D sending MySpace messages to each other. Baggsie I not be Dane Bowers.

Who do you think you are?
Tellin’ me I’ve gone too far
You must be out of your mind
Tellin’ your friends I was buggin’ you
That you weren’t being true
Steppin’ out of your mind
Open your eyes, boy you trouble me
Expensive lies, but you’re playing for free
I gave you what you want, what you need
My time is a wastin’, but for you its a breeze
——–CHORUS——–
(V.B.) You’re out of your mindGonna make this really easy for you
(D.B.) I’m not out of my mind
(V.B.) Gonna show you I’m not crazyBoy, you’re wasting my time
(D.B.) I’m not wasting your time
(V.B.) You’re out of your mind
(D.B.) You’re out of your mindOut of your mind
Thinking you were someone special
Time has shown and now I know
How wrong I have been
I’m always feelin’ that you’re usin’ me, confusin’ me, two-timin’ me
I can’t remember
How long has it been?
Open your eyes, boy you trouble me
Expensive lies, but you’re playin’ for free
I gave you what you want, what you need
My time is a wastin’, but for you its a breeze
——–CHORUS——-
You sing a song when people jump on you
What this guy is saying can’t be true
All I’m saying is that some girls should trip
Stop buggin’ and buggin’ me and if they want it, flip
I like despise
Open your eyes, girl you trouble me
Expensive lies, but you playin’ for free
I gave you what you want, what you need
My time is a wastin’, but for you its a breeze
——-CHORUS——- (x2)
True Steppers, you’re out of your mind
Ice cream, you’re out of your mind
Tub-a-lo, you’re out of your mind
Dane, you’re out of your mind
This tune’s gonna punish you.

April 15, 2007

Big Heads


[left to right: Prancehall, Kyke Turner and DJ Brains]

**NB original picture edited by request. 07.08.2007

Question:
Which one of the guys above has the biggest head?

Answer:
Apparently PRANCEHALL has a massive barnet!!

I would have thought it was going to be Kyke Turner with a face like his. I already know that Brains has an unusually small head – a bit like one of those little spider monkies – [I call him 'Melted Candle Head' on the sly. But then I have also called him 'Saucepan Handle' too.] But no it’s not ASBO Daniel Kyke Turner. After comparing baseball cap sizes, Brains can tell me with some authority that Prancehall’s New Era cap size is off the scale!!!

Well I hope you are all as glued to that fact from Shoreditch as I was.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. FYI my New Era size is seven and a half.

OHHHH WHICH REMINDS ME:
Someone with a big mouth told Brains that XXCENSOREDXX has been sleeping with two girls lately but that he doesn’t like either of them. Well one of them is ROUGH – she has a head like a broomstick – so who knows what XXCENSOREDXX was banging this female party promoter in the first place. The other girl is very cute. So go figure.


There is no love lost between me and Kyke Turner. The last straw came when Daniel sent a text to Brains calling me a c*** – which as Brains wife at the time this happened, of course I’m gonna be sitting right next to him to see the text arrive. Apparently Daniel claims he has apologised to me. But the only conversation I have had with Daniel is via text where he also called me a dickhead and then “I could really like you if you weren’t so prickly” and I saw him at Chalk and he came up to talk to me so I just threw him some air pie.

So while on the subject of being prickly: The thing I really don’t like about XXCENSOREDXX is that his mouth has always reminded me of the way a dog’s vagina looks when the bitch is in heat – all puffy and squishy like that.

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