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February 9, 2010

TODAY LONDON NEXT WEEK PARIS

a.k.a. My Love Affair With the Macaron

So how many people have I told the same story to over and over

I’M GOING TO PARIS TO LE CORDON BLEU TO LEARN “THE SECRET OF MACARONS”.

I was talking to Mum on the phone this morning asking her “What other kind of cake is hard and a bit fiddly that you have to practice loads to get perfect and even go to a class?” and she said “Profiteroles?” I told her I already made those and they were easy. Maybe not perfect, but successful enough on the first go to not feel challenged. Sponge cake – I have totally cracked it. I have struggled with cannellés and clafoutis – maybe that is the kind of thing – but nothing like a macaron. If you serve a macaron, people are amazed and always say “HOW DO YOU DO THIS? Is there a mould? Do you drop it into something hot? How do you get it so smooth?” etc etc etc. Anyway I have no clue as to what I will learn in Paris but I am getting HELLISHLY excited. And I feel a bit sick/nervous about it. The confirmation letter even tells you what you have to wear in the kitchen.

So – with this level of thrill in mind let me tell you first of all about Mrs K MEETING PIERRE HERME at the new Selfies consession where she had to photograph him for work. I had about 5 missed calls from her that day as she attempted to tell me “MOVE YOUR ASS HERE IMMEDIATELY” and as I said in my previous post about it [and apparently MISQUOTED and then got berated for it afterwards and I told her "Okay woah like fine but I will just blow it up all over the blog about how you yelled at me LOL brb gtg my nbff just logged on bye".

Oh Buddah where was I? Oh - about to eat this gift of personally selected macarons by Mrs K from Pierre Hermés own hand.

Here are a few views of the macarons at The Cardinals house. Please note the china. Also in bottom photo bottom left please note the sliver of marmite toast available for palate cleansing.

You may remember if you even care, these were the ones I had in Paris when I was there last from Pierre Hermé shortly after getting silly stringed by three pre teens on a skateboard outside the the Pierre and Marie Curé University mineral and gem museum.

So The Cardinal and I were in a gifted position to be able to truly assess the macarons in the privacy of her living room in front of an open fire, sipping Earl Grey Tea from china cups and a variety of cutlery to best perform the operations of peeling apart the layers.

Not the first time I have done this. Remember Nantes?

Sorry lost in a K-HOLE of macaron reminiscing and checking on the Danish cabbage in the kitchen.

Back to Pierre Hermé. There seems to be a whole divide between Pierre Hermé vs Ladurée and who's is better and whatever. I am going to say that on the whole, I prefer Ladurée. I like to know that what is labelled as Rose is going to taste like Rose. Admittedly I do admire the adventure of P.H.'s "collections" but I think the ratio there is too much filling to macaron and I am not a big fan of chocolate & fruit together at the best of times. I think they are both marvellous though. The only macarons I ever that that were awful were the ones in Nantes - the really tasted like lipstick, shampoo and shower gel.

With all this preamble, lets get ourselves to Sunday afternoon when I had a tea at The Crib with a selection of O.G.'s in attendance: Covvo, Alex T [the sub editor], Ella, Fi and the Cardinal. Hobart was also there but her presence was only felt when she scratched the Cardinal and singed her whiskers on a candle. For my guests I presented my take on cream cheese & radish and egg mayonaisse & quails egg sandwiches. Followed by a selection of macarons made in my own exclusive kitchen and two cakes. Oh and Champagne and tea.

These were Bailey’s and Hazelnut. Total fail in my opinion but Alex T was more than happy to take the ones we didn’t eat home with him at the end.

These were Campari and Blood orange on the left and Lavender on the right. Both lovely.

These were Basil, Pinenut & Honey with Lime. They totally cleaned up. Unfortunately they are a visual fail – see the brown bit? Slightly over done but did not affect taste.

The success of these makes me feel a bit less nervous about the class in Paris. I have to say, I had a very jolly afternoon after heinous weeks at work. The cookbook was planned. I will even be doing a chapter on Chinese food. It will be one page long.

“Don’t fuck with it and leave it to the Chinese.”

Although since then, I have been thinking about macaron recipes on that theme.

My lunch is ready now – braised fennel and Danish cabbage. I’m going to go eat it. You can be rest assured that I will be reporting back in detail from Paris all about how I go. PLUS I have been in touch with Goon already to discuss the restaurants we will be visiting! YERRRRRR.

xx Lektrogirl

July 10, 2008

THE PARTY GOT STARTED

With thanks to Madame and Cazza, the following post rinses their Flickr accounts cause until last night I did not have a camera. More on this in a minute.

There was a lot sitting around and drinking and waiting for something to happen when I arrived with Mr Crisp and Mrs Kipling to the Antony Price PRICELESS / TOPMAN launch. It wasn’t until I took the matter into my own hands [literally!! as shown above] that the action really took place… LOLZ! What a gorgeous thigh!

Max had been working very hard with Mrs Price on putting the range together and the launch to happen. Here he is with his ventriloquist dummy “Pippa” modelling an Antony Price suit which is part of the Savile Row collection. This suit is called the Joan Crawford. It is STUNNING.

INTERNET TIME WARP
Sorry folks I just disappeared into a hole rinsing this blog for MP3’s and checking out all the amazing donut pictures

God so where was I?

Yes – back in another time warp. The DJ’s last night at TRAMP were really fucking awful. Alex T assures me that even though he spent a long time dancing, the music was hideous. He stayed later than me. To give you a feel as to the kind of tunes that were being played [probably on CD and not vinyl] check out the looks on the faces of Pippa and me. Okay? I think this picture speaks a thousand words.

There was a lot of booze too at the party. Max told me that he had to walk home cause when he sat on the bus, he wanted to be sick. I’m sure he wasn’t the only one. Cazza’s Facebook status update was rather telling this morning!! HAHAHA.


Mr Chip and Mrs Kipling kept it real by smoking toothpick blunts all night which we circulated round the table like a bunch of losers. Pippa even kept a straight face while talking to someone or other in a suit and a quick puff continued to pass the dutchie on the left hand side. Why we thought this game was so good I’ll never know.

And the night was officially declared by me “THE NIGHT OF 100% BABE HAIR”

As a child, my mother would never let me grow my hair long cause she said I never brushed it enough and I had to have it short [with a rat's tail - her only compromise with me] until I was OLD. What a crying shame as it is quite clear that I have naturally babish hair. Other girls who are worthy of this title are Manara, The Cardinal, Cazza and Mistress of the Goodvibes Universe.

I also loving Pam Hogg’s hair. Back in Tasmania, my sister and I used to copy her clothes out of i-D magazines and sew them for ourselves cause we couldn’t buy anything decent back then. This shade of pink for Pam is really beautiful!

And check out Mr Chips shirt properly:

As this picture was taken, I was giving him a wedgie. But don’t we still both look so glamorous and manage to keep it together for the camera!! That folks is true style.

On that note from another evening from my fabulous life, I bid you good night [unless I find some other killer YouTube video or something a bit later.]

xx Lektrogirl

May 5, 2008

A NEW PLACE

I remember trailing through Melbourne airport just before Christmas and posting on my blog that I was in search of some answers to that question ‘Who am I?’ while staring up at oversized Christmas baubles suspended from the ceiling checking out my distorted reflection. So much has happened since then. It is nice to find some moments of knowing myself – but then other times I wake up and it’s like Freaky Friday and I’ve woken up in someone else’s body. The Cardinal told me tonight about how much she hates washing up cutlery. This was really encouraging – I thought there was something wrong with me cause I also REALLY hate cutlery. I’m so happy to know I’m normal in that respect. I have been talking with Rubber Band Man. To be honest – I thought that maybe he was just a London party dude. I was so wrong. He is funny and clever and such a warm person. It is funny – when you meet someone sometimes you can find out so much about yourself, but at the same time have so much just tipped on it’s head.

Tonight at the Air Commodore’s birthday we had the worse Margaritas known to man at Diner on Curtain Road. I would rather drink bile than go back there again. And here are some pics from Go Bang! which was great. Alex T’s DJing was awesome!


Fav picture of the night.


Me and the Air Commodore.


The greatest DJ. Check out the aura of the decks! Spiritual vibes.

What else to tell you – well there is a LOT. I’ll tell you about the man I has sex with ten years ago that was at the party tonight another time. I think I want to go and thing a bit more about the answer to that question, who am I?

xx Lektrogirl

May 3, 2008

I BE ILLIN’

It is so nice to be in Soho sitting in the basement shop in the cool sipping Lucozade from a teacup rejuvenating myself after another night on the grog. Duvel, Pinky Vodka [never had it before - super nice!] and half a bottle of prosecco. Felt like a complete troll when I woke up this afternoon and made it into town cause it is the Lady Gang afternoon tea party today.

Something incredibly unlady like is yesterday while strolling though my neighbourhood with a friend, we had to step around two of the most giant greasy poos glistening in the moonlight on Junction Road. They had to be human. Two night slugs. Totally heavy.

Tomorrow night is Nadia’s Go Bang! which I am looking forward to go to – and most markedly because the Clearasil Cover Boy Alex T will be DJing.

It sounds like all I am doing at the moment is drinking too much. It is true. I promise I will stop soon.

xx Lektrogirl

April 29, 2008

GETS UP MY NOSE

Fake ass people die

Well this is what gets up Reh Doggs nose. I haven’t bothered to check up on him lately but I have to say I really love this video.

Now, I will tell you what gets up my nose:

1] the improper use of the term ‘manic depression’ and all it’s derivatives/applications. [Alex T - what is the proper way of saying what I want there?]

So to make this clear to everyone, technically speaking, you don’t mean what you think you do when you go on about being ‘manically depressed’. Manic depression [apart from being a frustrated miss, just ask Jimi Hendrix] is a psychiatric condition marked by alternate periods of elation and depression. The ‘manic’ part actually refers to the intense elation.

2] Getting hung up on. It drives me INSANE. To the point of storming over to someone’s house and pounding on their door to finish what I was saying at one in the morning.

xx Lektrogirl

April 26, 2008

UPDATE

Today is another day of remembrance. It was with great sadness I received the news from Philippa this morning that Jamal the blind cat has passed away. I shed a few tears from my feather down pillows in his memory. Yesterday it was just tears of pain from the Cava hangover.

In a Cava induced stupor:

P.S. Please don’t hate me cause I’m such a babe.

Captain Morgan was a lot friendlier to my system last night which I drank in the company of Alex T, The Cardinal and Amph who Alex T and I called Bongo more than anything else last night. I’m still laughing about the man in the off licence on Brick Lane who gave directions to the nearest ATM as being ‘Go down derre. Long way.’ to Amph and I. The best joke EVER. Can I also say, Amph has the most amazing thighs? He tells me that his family are from Ghana which reminded me of Hugofreegow’s flickr pics

And as Alex T and Amph spent most of the night wrestling while scantily dressed women played musical statues I wasn’t too difficult for me to place Amph in some of those funny wrestlers undies.

OMG and now you have to work out what happened to who for yourselves:
There wasn’t much else left to the imagination after XXCENSOREDXX got a stiffy after XXCENSOREDXX whispered in XXCENSOREDXX’s ear “I can’t wait to see your cock”. I mean they are as homo as each other…

We all drank so much that we all started to look like this at the end of the night:

So I hope today that the sunshine will treat me well today as I need the Vitamin Sun beauty treatment to be babed out for tonight. I am DJing at my old friend Molly’s birthday party from 10pm at the Alphabet Bar on Beak Street in Soho. I’m not allowed to play any ‘black music’ so it will be all italo, pop, disco etc. Which is a great shame as I have been showing a lot of face to R Kelly’s Hairbraider track. A beautiful slow jam.

So in summary, this is my life right now:

xx Lektrogirl

April 8, 2008

MEGA LOL

Here is my friend Caz trying to be like me with the bra shot… Oh no.. hang on… LOL hahaha

ROTFLOL

Mum called this morning and I told her was really sad this morning feeling like I had nothing to get out of bed for today. I can’t tell you the real reasons why other than to say XXCENSOREDXX has banned me from talking about XXCENSOREDXX here and another whole part of my life is totally XXCENSOREDXX anyway…

and here I was at the New Zealander party have a whale of a time.

But then I get up this morning to see the world has been moving on with out me and see visions such as Caz with a twisted bra. Lovely.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Alex T asked me on Sunday night what my favourite episode of C.S.I. is and I couldn’t choose but now I know. It is an episode in season 5 of C.S.I. Crime Scene Investigation [the Vegas one] called COMMITTED set in a mental prison where a guy gets murdered by the mother of one of the patients who is masquerading as a nurse so that she can continue her Jocasta complex relationship with her mentally ill son. They crack the case when Grissom uses a really great piece of far fetched technology [LOL] – audio archaeology or something. The son was making a clay vase when his nurse mother came in to demand that he finish it with the guy who was murdered and apparently the sound waves of their conversation were picked up in the wet clay. The C.S.I. team were able to pick up the sound recording using lasers, processing it through something that looked a little bit like Sony Acid Pro but with a jazzier skin and they all realised who was banging who.

March 25, 2008

GOT A TISSUE?

Well I’m guessing that there wasn’t a lot going on for anyone over the Easter break cause come Saturday, my webstats were through the roof! Thanks for stopping by!

The ‘result’ of my long weekend is that I have a cold and spent yesterday in bed with Season 4 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation DVD’s [the LA one] and then got a total of 3 hours sleep last night. Today I am in my PJ’s listening to the Mr Martelo mixes he sent me chilling out in front of the heater. Cardinal is going to be excited to learn that I have to have a section of my wall ripped out to mend some damp and re-plastered just like her and I can’t wait to discuss the details with her.

I was also happy to read that Manara had said in one of her Flickr descriptions that I have a beautiful house

A shame that everything in the picture came from IKEA.

A trip to IKEA is more fun that a Racine / Wendy James gig any day of the week however. Last week or so I went with Pippa / Max / Paul Gazz / Caz / Jazz to the Bloomsbury Bowls to check out Wendy James’ band. I have to say it was pretty shockingly bad. Had she chosen her band to be the same age as her I think the show would have been more convincing. Sadly the show looked like a bit of a weird Whatever Happened to Baby Jane scenario. And none of the songs were dope.

I heard some really ‘dope’ songs on Sunday night when I went to GO BANG! at East Village on though. I was going to save writing about it until my sub-editor Alex T told me how to spell Nadia Kasaiba correctly but I was so happy I went out that I can’t resist writing soon. I’m sure that next time Alex has eaten a kebab he will be more than happy to breathe the after effects all over me and tell me about my shitty spelling. As per usual I had some spiritual moments with Alex as we discussed the universe. I cried AGAIN! [I know!!!] Which could either be the subject matter of the conversation OR the number of drinks I had consumed. My drink of choice was Malibu and Pineapple. Steph called it ‘The Summertime Ho’ but I think a better name for it is ‘The Sweat’. I was also very happy to meet Alex’s friend Amph who guessed I was 26 years old. I’m gonna guess he really thought I was about 29-30 and was being nice. Even so, he will be getting a Christmas card from me this year.

OMG. I just went to Flickr to get another picture to put online and you know what it said to me?

O HAI Lektrogirl!
Now you know how to greet people in Lolspeak!

Errr I don’t think so. I think Flickr just overstepped the mark there.

I got a ‘zimce’ [German for SMS] on my ‘handy’ from Mrs Vanderbilt in Berlin today. I miss them like crazy already. We went to Canteen the other day before they left and it was pretty terrible.

Bachelor Food. And the waiter didn’t find it funny when I asked him what his problem was that they didn’t have soya milk for a latte.

Oh this was cool: My nephew Tom who is two and I have this really amazing joke.

It is pretty complicated and esoteric so if you don’t get it, I kind of understand. Basically it works like this: I go up to him and say “What’s that smell?” and he thinks for a minute and then says “It’s me!!” Then we both crack up laughing. It even works over the telephone. It is a really great joke. In a few more years I will teach him a little more toilet humour and lesbian jokes. Anyway Tom is really into Cars and loves being a Jedi [Mum... Can you love a Jedi?] even though he has never managed to stay awake through one entire Star Wars movie.

xx Lektrogirl

March 24, 2008

PERSONAL MESSAGE TO ALEX T

Please feel free to use this post and the comments tool to list all the spelling mistakes I have made recently and indeed all my other short comings too.

As you know, I love you deeply and trust you alone to fulfil this very intimate duty.

From your girl who feels like your big sister who wants to torture you.

xx Lektrogirl

March 5, 2008

THE RESULT

Hardly worth it, but here it is now on YouTube:

This is the finished version of my new video for the fairly old track called louloulou [all my songs started with names like that] while it was just an MP3 but now it is a finished thing, the name is THE RESULT.

All that hex editing was hardly worth the RSI for what it achieved, but where it is most obvious I think it looks really nice.

Anyway, my sub-editor Alex T – who has now been usurped for a Firefox plug in [and AUSTRALIAN dictionary no less and the occasional French when I need to switch it on] – can take all the credit for the posting of this song online. If he hadn’t made me cry over dinner then this may have never happened. Max and I were just discussing what a well dressed man Alex T is – I can’t think of anyone in real life other than Max who dresses better. I watched Max iron his shirts, pyjamas, boxer shorts AND SOCKS today. Have I told anyone recently how much I love Max? Well I hope Alex at least doesn’t hate what I made.

I did an online proficiency test for my French language skills and apparently I am Intermediate. Which surprised me! I thought I would be advanced beginner or something. Lovely.

Last night I dreamt I was a prostitute. I dreamt that I met a girl from my college called Danielle and she had been a working girl for a little while and she was hooking me up with the place she worked. I had to go to this pier and there was a giant cinema with brass detailing all around the edges of the posters. In a secret panel of the door, a midget opened a door and threw a haggard old man out of his wheelchair into the street. I announced “I’ve come to see Danielle”. The midget let me in and I had to walk up this cranky stair case with a moving partition wall. All the handrails were covered with really long public hair. It disgusted me. Then I got to the little waiting room area and realised I was in jeans and sneakers – not what I thought I should be wearing. Then I realised the other girls were in pink chavvy tracksuits. They lent me some jewellery to wear – it was an enamel horse. Then a customer called Mark came in who was one of Jo’s regulars. He was wearing a thong made out of something a bit thicker than cling film. Thank God I woke up before I had to do anything with anyone. Thank God for you too cause I would have told you all about it.

I’m so tired tonight.

xx Lektrogirl

February 10, 2008

SOME SONGS TO PAINT TO

Totally obvs to anyone as to why this song should be here. A great song for getting the tools together, opening the paint tin and getting a job underway.

Indeed the whole Dr Dre album is great DIY music. As is the Snoop Dogg album Tha Last Meal. I fully recommend either of these.

And definitely the DJ Guy Fired Up Promo mix that I have mentioned before on the blog.

I love this weird Spanish cover song and it is great for doing corner bits with the paint brush. You do need to change the mood a bit for this work, but still nothing too chill. You could also try this:

Yeah I know what a lot of people say about Tatu. But it’s a great song to paint to.

Or this classic Robert Palmer if you aren’t into lesbians produced by Trevor Horn.

I’m obsessed with Rick Ross at the moment, but he is ugly with bitch titties and goes on about how many lips he’s got on him but that is so impossible. I don’t get it. I’ve done a lot of things in my life I can’t rationalise. But get the Big Red Bass Mix of Hustlin. It has a better pace for the roller on the walls. It is is better when he sings “Whip it whip it real hard”. It is good for when you get really to the point of “I can’t go on but there is only a bit left to do.”

If you have any further suggestions to make as to what you think might be a good painting song please do not hesitate to make a comment and I will try it out. I know anonymous blogging has been turned off since “the asshole in Singapore” incident [Alex T I still love you for the service you provided me that day. I just hope you didn't hear my voice cracking on the phone.]

January 13, 2008

A NEW APPOINTMENT

It is official. Alex Torrance is now my new sub-editor. It is because he plays a lot of Scrabble and he noted that there were no apostrophies in the dog racing program that I think he qualifies for the role.

Let it be said that the opinions expressed in this blog are not neccessarily shared by Alex. Nor will he ever know who all the XXCENSOREDXX’s are.

xx Lektrogirl

December 26, 2007

SCRABBLE


I associate Scrabble with afternoons when it is too hot to go outside and my Dad and Grandpa playing it to the death. My Dad is the worlds greatest Scrabble expert – he knows all the two letter words… Anyway I guess it comes from the fact Dad is British and he must have spent every Christmas trapped inside in the cold playing it like Alex T, Bok Bok and Manara. Here in Tasmania, we’ve been watching HR Pufnstuf DVD’s and are getting ready to hit the beach. Oh no – family crisis – my sister can’t find the IKEA bag, but she did find the missing transformer for the last set of icicle lights.

Anyway speaking of life in Tasmania I woke this morning to read an SMS from Alex T’s uncle – why they were talking about Tasmania I don’t know maybe Alex was talking about this amazing WAG he knows… – anyway, the SMS was a joke:
How do you know when a Tasmanian girl is on her rag?
Her blood is on her father’s cock.
LOL!!!


Anyway I’ve been banned from talking about Alex T any more. XXCENSOREDXX told me that Alex T is only interested in 22-24yo Indie girls and I’m too old. Alex T is my real life R Kelly! I can go to sleep dreaming he’ll piss on me, but in reality I’m more likely to be R Kelly’s girlfriend’s mother.

If I was talking about anyone else except Mr T, I’d be worried they would read it and think I was a weirdo. But this is the guy who wants to tell everyone he is a facist on Facebook. I apparently regularly freak out Prancehall (XXCENSOREDXX is the same source of info there) but I really don’t mean to.

In other news, Cardinal sent me the best Xmas SMS of the season – she put a red Xmas bow round Jamals neck. Her cat is blind and probably thought she was dressing him up as Easter bunny!

xx Lektrogirl

December 19, 2007

THUNDERSTORM

So this morning I’ve talked Mum into going to Jackman and McRoss for brunch. I really need a decent coffee. Maybe that is why I have a hideous headache today or the fact that I am getting work emails cc’d to my personal address.

Yesterday, I went round to the home to have a Christmas lunch with Dad, his friend Max and a University Student called Ian who goes round and visits Dad once a week to play Chess with him. Here is Dad at the end of the lunch with the table cloth on his head dressed as the Spirit of Christmas.

I had asked Alex T to come as well mid text chat – he was in Shoreditch House and I was on Clarendon Street – but unfortunately he couldn’t make it. Ergh saying ‘text chat’ sounds dirty, but I mean it literally – not as in text BABE to 85678 to speak with girls ready for dogging in your area.


Then my Auntie Diane came over and with Mum, we went to this Spanish Tapas place in Battery Point. The tortilla was amazing. They had whitebait. I had prawns. They were really nice. They made me think of all the eating I did with Ramiro in Spain. The food there was SO amazing. A shame is girlfriend hates me so much cause I would love to go back there. LOL.


And while Mum ran and got me nails and ladders when required, Auntie Diane sucked on a cigarette giving directions, I climbed all over the front of the house hanging icicle lights from the shitty veranda, taping lights in the windows of the front of the house and hanging light up bells too. It was amazing. I only have used approximately 800 lights in the display so far. Well it needs some more grunt definitely in the display but no-one else in the adjacent houses has any display at all. So Clarendon Street and Tower Road – IT’S OFFICIAL!! Step up your game.

There is a lot of rain and thunder right at this very second but it is going to be 27 degrees today. I’m surprised my over cautious mother is even allowing me to be connected to the internet right now in case I get an electric shock. LOL. I’m being serious.

And OMG – went into Harris Scarf yesterday and saw a store full of the most giant, ugly, cake tin sized bras ever!! Unbelieveable.

xx Lektrogirl

December 15, 2007

BRITISH CHRISTMAS IS STILL STRANGE

Im sitting in the middle of the Hot Breath Christmas Party. It is obviously amazing cause I’m sitting here blog… Venom and I are comparing notes. I have to be honest and say British Christmas seems really weird – like George and Mildred. I don’t really feel like I belong. But then my thoughts are already in Australia. Well I mean of course I belong – I’m surrounded by babes like Alex T and Cardinal and coke dick Venom – well maybe it is cause I’m worked to death right now and JoJo and her baby came into the studio and had liquid shits that nearly escaped through his babygro onto me. Roxy and Katharine both gaveme some beautiful jewellery today! So gorgeous.

This is so weird. i’ve just watched Alex T in a really animated conversation with some girl but backing away from her the whole time, and he’s circumnavigated the table and now has is ass in my shoulder and his elbow in my ear. Oh a chair just collapsed. He is taking care of things like a man.

xx Lektrogirl

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