I got up with a hang over and at some hummous and crackers with my little cobber Hobart on the sofa. Then I did some dished. While I was washing with my marigolds on, I was day dreaming about getting a really terrible disease and having to stay in hospital for a long time and wondering if my friends would be allowed to bring Hobart in to sleep on the bed with me. My mind wandered further and I imagined tell my friends how ill I was and how I would have to live on the ward for a long time and my friends were rallying around offering to take care of Hobart and who would watch the flat etc etc. I considered letting my ex live in the flat on the one condition he didn’t root anyone in my bed – but on that point he can’t be trusted. [He apparently returned an earring to a lady friend that she had left at his apartment ONLY IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE'S EARRING. WHAT A DOUCHE.] Anyway so back to me being critically ill in hospital. Finally I agreed with myself that it would be best if Mrs Kipling and The Cardinal took it in turns to take care of Hobart as I know I could trust them both. I ended up thinking about my Granny Barbara who ended up hanging herself in the New Norfolk hospital in Tasmania with a shower curtain and the big pool tables they had in the recreation room there we had to hang out in when Mum and Dad when to visit her before she died.
Then I caught myself – WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT – and remembered my dream. In it I was bestie friends with the ex girlfriend of The Rubber Band Man!!! How this happened I don’t know. We were chatting away in French. In my dream her face was very soft and friendly. I don’t think this will ever happen though. She called me a whore once for sleeping with her ex. Such is life.
Speaking of life, The Frenchman left a bag of figs on my doorstep the other night.
And so where to begin? It’s 9pm and I’ve heard it was a beautiful day today – I just made it out at about 8pm to walk to McDonald’s for something to eat. I wanted KFC but that is further and I couldn’t be bothered.
Last night The Cardinal and I were waiting at The Star at the end of the street until it dawned on us that Mr Chips actually meant The Star on Bethnal Green Road for Say Yes. Durrr… So dressed in what we had rolled out of the house in we made it over to The Star to get sweaty with everyone else.
The only woman to managed to keep it together in her Alphabet of Chanel blouse was Jenny Jenny the most gorgeous woman at the house of vice. My only regret is that I didn’t manage to get her feet in the picture too. It would have been perfect.
Everybody else was trying to keep cool fanning themselves with 7 Year Glitch flyers that Venom and Cardinal were handing out for the party on 23rd August.
Mr Chips cool as ice and me as sweaty as a Christmas boiled ham. I look like a big fat piece pressure cooked silverside. HML.
It was then off to Lucy’s birthday on a roof top in Bethnal Green. It was so amazing sitting out on a warm night drinking the new summer time vibes favourite – Whiskey and Ginger. This is Japper’s tipple of choice that I am now adopting. So good. If the truth is known though I really hate the Cardinal right now for being complicit in a spit ball game with Paul Pieroni that took place at Cocadisco which I wont go into detail over but let this be a warning to them both that revenge is best served cold and your times will come. And it was so OMG cause my old friend Koffi was there by chance too. So much fun.
Lucy made Amph dance for ages and did all kinds of moves. She really was non-stop! I couldn’t stop laughing! So much fun! It seemed she had a great time for her birthday.
I mean down on the ground with your legs in the air along side someone as smiley as Amph. I wouldn’t complain. LOLZ.
A broken man.
Deano was also there and for some reason he was letting me punch him in the face loads of times on both cheeks. My hand actually hurts a little bit today. I hope his face is okay.
My love life is still the same.
I had such a wonderful night with some of my favourite people in London I the Maison B Lady Gang (pictures to follow.) And strangely, my hair smells of BDL which is the most simple pleasure
and at the end of the day, the only relationship I’m into right now. Only it’s a hard thing to explain.
Apparently all I write about on my blog is sex cause it’s all I think about. Is that true? Is there a website for hair smelling?
I am about to nip out and get some number 2 drill bits in an attempt to child safe my flat for L’il Money’s visit as of tomorrow. She is worried I can’t speak Danish or Swedish and I’m worried I can’t speak Danish. Fortunately her father can speak both Danish and English so everything should be cool. I’m really looking forward to it. Though I really worry about the time Venom broke the Babycham glass – you know how slivers of glass can turn up mysteriously months later no matter how many times you vacuum.
Before I do go out I just wanted to say I really didn’t think I had any shame on the Internet and I often talk to my friends ‘Blah Blah whatever I just don’t care about what people can find about me on the Internet… I’ve always had a personal website since 1999 it’s all like NBD blah blah’ like Miss Big Tings. I thought I would feel embarrassed to have a video circulating of me singing, or my Dad send me an email about my boobs on Flickr but no. There is an Achilles heel tho’ – MY RECENTLY LISTENED TRACKS ON LAST FM PROFILE. If someone really wanted to have a go – at any level – I would suggest going through there and having a really good laugh. Ed DMX was right when he said I have the worst record collection ever and it is looking that way with the MP3’s as well. The other day when BDL was having brunch, I was SO ASHAMED by some of the music that come on iTunes.
So if it is any consolation to anyone who has felt over exposed by chatter on my posts perhaps take solace in the fact that as long as I’m scrobbling I’m paying my penance – and for that reason I am obliged to scrobble for eternity.
Today was the most fantastic day ever.
2 lovely friends
2 lots of talking story
And no-one with any spite, bad vibes or ill wishes can take this away from me.
Now I just want to go walkabout and think some private things.