Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

May 4, 2008

TEKI LATEX

ROTFLOL

The only thing that would make this picture of Julien more perfect would be if he had his dick out in his left hand. I really want to go to Paris soon, and if Bitch Ass Darius comes in June, then I guess that is definitely gonna happen while we go and get all New Jack Swing with the Diamond Grills Boys.

xx Lektrogirl

March 30, 2008

SUNDAY NIGHT & FEELIN’ RIGHT

Actually I’m feeling pretty exhausted. Lemme make like Craig David and fill U in.

Rewind to Thursday night when I went to YoYo with my HoHo’s at the Notting Hill Arts Club. I know that there are a lot of haters for this place and the club that it is but I will say I LOVE IT THERE cause there is absolutely no hating going on in there, loads of attitude [thug love], people are dressed up and the bar serves cocktails – there is always a happy hour cocktail! So G’ed up with the Sinus Spray and Cold and Flu tablets I was sitting sipping Honey and Grapefruit cocktails for the first half of the evening, then when Martello came on -

[Double screwface. Nice teeth.]

- I spent four hours dancing. In fact, Carrie and I even took our glasses off. It was really such a powerful moment. BOOYAH. The BEST part about the night though was instead of the breakdancers busting out which the small dicked lithe men sometimes do, this time the camera phones came out for some Poser-Popping ina big circle in the middle of the floor. Some serious shapes, signs and leans. Sorry for the blurry picture. I had my glasses off remember.

And here are my two pals with their own efforts.

The next day I wasn’t feeling too bad. Only bad enough to miss the postman ringing on the doorbell. However a full recovery was required for the launch of the incredible NIGHT SLUGS – Bok Bok and Manara’s night down at the Red Star once a month. For such a heavy date, dressing appropriately was required:


Which I have been told is straight gull-ee and fucking badgirl. Not bad for a Tasmanian G right? Someone has to regulate.

Before going, I had been having a deep an esoteric conversation with a friend about the kind of music that would be played. He said that generally bassline is a fake movement. That it only exists up North as something real and that probably it would be just full of bloggers anyway. Funny that – Prancehall, DJ Venom, Manara and Bok Bok all DJ’d and all have blogs. And I blog and I went there. However, my view on bassline and niche is that it is hilarious bouncy pop music and if a scene is ‘real’ or not I don’t care. It seems a bit like thinking yourself out of having too much fun to be academic about it. The party was filled with good time vibes.


I mean – check the look on Bok Bok’s face. It was good times all round!

ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY WHEN:
Prancehall’s first track of the night was Snoop Dogg’s sexual/sensual seduction/eruption [sorry was too busy dancing to notice which version it was.] It really surprised me because I never pictured him as a particularly sensual guy [bubble bath and vanilla candles?] but his womanly thighs have been pointed out to me by more than one person so perhaps Prancehall feels something in his groin for Snoop Dogg, like I do. Prancehall played a great collection of grimetime hits and grunk and crip crop and areandbee. Good times. Where’s the beef? There is none. I was just feeling the love.

It was not a good time however after getting into bed at last at 6am to be woken by the postman at 7.30 delivering a package and he didn’t know if it was the one from yesterday or not because he had the day off yesterday. The postman is my most regular male visitor. Which is fitting as he delivers the mail.

Later that morning I had to get up again with some urgency cause by a certain set of co-incidences, my friend Koogs was making a website for Samwell [you know 'What What In The Butt'] and it had to be ready by yesterday evening. Urgh so some frantic .cssing .gifing and .htmling with serious party issues. Not my idea of a Saturday night – especially when Cardinal be calling me for another night out. Which I am so gutted I missed.

BUT there is an upside to being stuck at home – Marisa Olson from Nasty Nets asked me if I wanted to have my video ‘The Result’ screened at the NY Underground Festival on Friday, April 4th. The Nasty Nets DVD is finished and you will be able to buy it – a ‘coolection’ of all the best craps from the internet compiled by people from the Nasty Nets Crew. So – awesome. I am so happy! If you want to watch the video for ‘The Result’ in the comfort of your own living room:
<------ scroll down
<------ check the links
<------ you'll find it there.

Or if you are in New York:


Event InfoName: NASTY NETS at NYUFF – DVD release screening!
Tagline: As Nasty As U Wanna Be
Host: Marisa Olson
Type: Music/Arts – Jam Session
Time and PlaceDate: Friday, April 4, 2008
Time: 8:30pm – 10:30pm
Location: Anthology Film Archives
Street: 32 2nd Avenue
City/Town: New York, NY

Nasty Nets has just produced a DVD (with video & data for maximum pleasure!) and we’re releasing it in a screening called NASTY AS U WANNA BE at the 15th (and final) NY Underground Film Festival.

Please come and enjoy, and get your discounted dvd’s–$5 while supplies last!

Big thanks to RHIZOME for sponsoring the dvd & screening!
http://nastynets.com/dvd.html
http://www.nyuff.com/2008/index2.php?p=arc&s=res&fid=295

Nasty As U Wanna Be
EXPERIMENTAL VIDEO MIN INTERNATIONAL PREMIERE
Organized by Marisa Olson & the Nasty Nets with support from Rhizome.org

Identifying themselves as an “internet surfing club,” Nasty Nets is an international ensemble representing some of the most active artists working online today. Together their work both celebrates and critiques the internet by employing original and appropriated imagery and audio, such as animated gifs, YouTube hacks, html cheat codes, and other found and edited material, offering a poignant and humorous take on contemporary digital visual culture.

This event will serve as a release party for their new dvd, which features videos for dvd players, copious digital files to be opened on personal computers, and a type-in website by Michael Bell-Smith. Tonight’s screening will feature videos from the dvd and additional works by members of this 25-person crew.

Nasty Nets was founded by artists John Michael Boling, Joel Holmberg, Guthrie Lonergan, and Marisa Olson, and includes members Peter Baldes, Michael Bell-Smith, Camille Paloque Bergés, Kevin Bewers- dorf, Brian Blomerth, Charles Broskoski, Petra Cortright, Chris Coy, Paul B. Davis, Michael Guidetti, Britta Gustafson, Travis Hallenbeck, Chance Jackson, Lektrogirl, Tom Moody, Javier Morales, Paul Slocum, James Whipple, Robert Wodzinski, and Damon Zucconi. The Nasty Nets DVD is generously supported by Rhizome. Discs will be sold at a discount to NYUFF ticket-holders, at the festival, while supplies last. – Marisa Olson

Anyway I better get to bed cause I bet the postman will be here bright and early again in the morning. Which I am so not looking forward to.

xx Lektrogirl

January 29, 2008

HIGHS AND LOWS

Last night I spent struggling under my bath fitting the new shower tap and head into the plumbing. Oh my days, whoever the genius was who engineered the back nuts to be so awkward really deserves their front nuts removing. Never the less, I struggled and swore and totally missed ‘City of Vice’ but I got the new taps on! Yeah bruv, I love the internet. Everything I know about plumbing I learnt there.

You could not imagine the elation I felt about acheiving this small goal. It lasted about two hours. I was just in the bathroom chilling looking at my new taps when I could hear a drip. Not often and not very big, but with my bat like hearing I could definitely hear it. The isolator valve on the hot tap has spring a pin prick leak. I need to go talk to someone in the bath shop on Holloway Road tomorrow about it – to replace it [I think the actual screw is threaded in the valve switch] looks pretty straight forward, but I could be wrong.

Thankfully, Cardinal is back from Sri Lanka or I would go on and on about plumbing. A bit like the time I ended up vocalising the difference between a laser printer and an ink jet printer for Pippa. Ahhh good times. I met her yesterday early evening. Both of us feeling a bit poorly. We had a glass of wine. She has a TAN and her hair all holidayfied. She looks amazing. Then she gave me a slice of carrot cake she made – it was the best carrot cake ever! THE BEST. I am going to marry her one day. We sat on the sofa checking out different greys on paint colour swatch cards. So romantic.

Anyway – soon I am going to commit suicide on Facebook. I really fucking hate it. I’ve been the victim of scary profile picture attacks, a sucker for accidently sending out random applications to all my friends [I'm still sorry] and finding out if I was a drug I would be cocaine, but I am going to die from old age. Go figure. AND YOU CAN’T EVEN PIMP YOUR PAGE. Now that Macy’s seem to have stopped giving away store cards and $500 all over the place I’m going back to MySpace. I like it there. So come February, Facebook I kill myself in defiance to you. If anyone wants to make a pact let me know. I’m not scared, but it there is something nice about a mass exit.

xx Lektrogirl

October 16, 2007

BIG PIMPING

This is my cousin Lucy in Thailand chilling at her crib. Don’t mess or she be throwing shade. This is REAL GOLD. You get me?!

xx Lektrogirl

June 8, 2007

Zoophilia

All the ladies! I wanna see you line up right here and wait for R Kelly call out “Like two gorillas in the jungle making love!!”

I swear your knicker elastic is gonna pop!

N tell me – does that jersey say “Hug A Thug”?

Now you gotta go home and you gotta get the hell outta here…

xx Lektrogirl

June 7, 2007

GUTTED

NO EFFING WAY!!!
Bone Thugs AND Twista and I’m gonna be in Paris! Brains and I were walking through Shoreditch after dinner at Green and Red – totally delicious – and we saw the poster for the gig. We planned to go and I was gutted when I realised that I was gonna be away in Paris. So immediately Brains called Prancehall. Funnily enough, we turned the corner and the pair of them bumped into each other.

The Chris OC came up and told me all about his work placement at the House of Harlot on Holloway Road making bespoke fetish shoes. Apparently they have been making some shoes for Madonna with heels like a horse. Also we got on to talking about Bone Thugs and Chris OC told me again about how his Dad is in the limo business back in the states and he has been driving Three Six Mafia about.

I have to say that these comfortable pumps are more the kind of thing I’m into:

But I didn’t get them – I already bought the winter high tops that are lines with sheep skin but only wore them once so far cause they got a tiny drop of red wine on them.

Speaking of shoes, check out Brains steelo:

Socks were a give from me in Liverpool from some “Head Shop” and the shoes we got in New York in ‘05 when we were there for the Bent Festival [circuit bending thing]. We went to Alife where Brains got some pimping Bo Jackson limited edition grey and yellow Nike cross trainers then on the way back to the subway we took a wrong turn and ended up in some rotten sporting surplus store full of mostly pink Timbaland booties for girls etc. But it was in there Brains found the Rasta New Balance.

Okay – I’m trying to also watch a repeat episode of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation at the same time as write this so I’m Audi 5G.

xx Lektrogirl

June 2, 2007

Due for a Weekend Workout

I’m due for a weekend workout – i.e. like around in bed for as much of it as possible. I’ve been working / travelling for the last 5 weekends straight. Bwargh. So tired.

Here is a little piece on the VICEland blog about Paul and his exhibition. It is written by Piers Martin. I used to bump into him a bit more frequently than I do know and conversation would always turn to Shop where I used to work cause at one point we sold Petit Bateau underwear in grown up sizes. Piers has a kids underwear on adults fetish.

Here is Paul the morning after his exhibition opening.

Then on Thursday night I went to some party with Brains where he was meant to be having a ghetto tech battle with Prancehall. Only Brains got there so late, he only played about 5 records. So I guess Prancehall totally slew Brains. Oh well. Prancehall totally invisible manned me [this was no air pie - he looked straight through me], everyone there was about 20 years old and I heard better DJ’s in Paris and Hamburg, like Eurokai, recently so Brains and I went home.


Thugly – “Hey Brains – grrreat party!”
Brains – “Yeah. I think there is some liquid poo in my pants.”

In the cab we shared on the way home, Paul decided he wanted to learn the secrets of the PhotoFace [TM], which I was only to willing to share with him.


The first sucess.
Me – “Don’t smile for the camera!”
Him – “I’ve got boss eyes. I need to stare past the lense.”


PhotoFace [TM] Improv.


Not a member of a death metal crew, but on his second PhotoFace [TM] improv. Double Fisting the “WEBSIIIIIIIIIITTTTE” gang signs. [TM] Julian Van Aalderen who can also do a phenomenal sock puppet.


Awwwwwhhhh shit!! The total chillax PhotoFace [TM] STRICTLY ON ANOTHER LEVEL!

Speaking of Another Level:

Girl you gotta know what ya doin’ to me
when you’re giving me your sexy thang,
Don’t ever change what you do with ya body
it feels so beautiful,it feels so right
explosions goin on with us every night.
I cant hold back the soul with one in the whole,
You can just call me kid dynamite cause your love
sweeter than honey
Girl it aint funny, Got me open wide, world to my dollar bill,
thats where I’m putting my money girl you know

Chorus

You know its the bomb diggy diggy when we get jiggy
let me piggy back ride on it all night long, while i’m singin’ my song,
all thru the hoody hoody wanna get that goody goody
You know it’s the bomb diggy diggy bomb bomb diggy
Can I get some of your bomb diggy jelly jelly goody chocolate puddy,
wanna get a little bit of your goody ,goody ….goody, goody

Your love’s so supernatural,
you got me chasin’ after you
I’ll go wherever you are just to tell me and i’ll be packin’ up
I’ll be your journey man for love.
Travelin’ from hood to hood (ghetto to ghetto)
Any place anytime cause your love makes me feel so good baby

sweeter than honey
Girl it aint funny, Got me open wide, world to my dollar bill,
thats where I’m putting my money girl you know

{Chorus}

so good) oh it feels good when your love comes down on me (so good).
You’re blowing my mind. You got me goin’ crazy (so good).
oh it’s good to me (so good) whoaa oh baby baby yeah!

And I wonder if Brains played my True Steppers record and the Summer Jam one I lent him at Real Gold last night?

xx Lektrogirl

April 24, 2007

What about the money you said you gonna let me borrow?

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