Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

June 1, 2011

HANSBURGERS

Well folks, here they are! The famous HANSBURGER cakes that I made for Hans for his 50th birthday party last weekend. I have started doing Afternoon Tea Catering. There is a half started website here. The Hansburger is Genoise sponge sandwiched together with Creme Anglaise and butter icing. 40 of them! Hardcore bake athon. But it was so worth it at Hans party with some pink champagne in my hand seeing every one not expecting the creme anglaise explosion. Anthony helped me stick them together when I got to the creme anglaise stage. He was more professional than me. Then Dora help by standing in the kitchen and scoffed all the leftovers. She said “See me. I am an African woman. We chop like this with bread in the drink.”

Then, I COULDNT BELIEVE IT. On the wall in Han’s flat was the vintage cutout of the Lord’s prayer I had been bidding on in eBay [not this one pictured.] So I quizzed Jean Marc and we had been bidding against each other for the piece. I was gutted. I told him how unhappy I was and he said disparigingly “Don’t you know about eBay Sniper? You never win anything by chance and more.” Major burn. But then he fished behind some drawers and pulled out the one in the picture and gave it to me! THANK YOU JEAN MARC. So now it is in my bedroom and I can protect myself from thousands of psychic vampires and slug ghosts.

And fastforward up to today. I bought a belt of Etsy to wear as a necklace [what is wrong with me], have had a migraine for 4 days now and just thought “fuck it” and made some popcorn and cracked open the gin.

April 28, 2010

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB

Happy Birthday Pops.

Look at that face! So happy.

March 28, 2010

THE BOOYAH COOK: SPONGE

Wassup?!

Question: If I did a macaron making workshop who would want to come along?

For me on a Sunday, after reading the latest psychiatrist report about myself – so weird – am trialling another macaron recipe – this time in the hope of make triple the quantity I usually do. And pretty much BOOYAH I think I did it. Only the feet are kind of on the large side, some more developments to go.

Anyway you all know that I love cooking and in particular cakey patisserie kind of stuff. Let’s take a look at some of the previous achievements:

My version of the Australian Birthday Cake: sponge, strawberries, passion fruit cream. Oh and the cat serviettes my mum made when she was 20.

Plain sponge with cream cheese icing [so not sickly sweet] and gold leaf.

I’m not really into super extravagant decoration and like things to be quite simple. Of course, go to town with the sugar craft if you want. But even at the cake fairs for sugar craft, the judges still check the cake that is underneath is okay.

Today I am going to share with you my NO FAIL recipe for GENOISE SPONGE which will come out banging on the first go.

But here are the chef’s secrets:

1] Preheat the oven. Instant cake fail guaranteed if you don’t.

2] Line the bottom of the baking tin with a circle baking paper. Buttering and flouring a tin is okay, but doesn’t always mean the cake will come out. It also leaves a kind of weird surface. [You can see on the top of the cake that there was flour in this tin. Not a good look.]

3] Get all the ingredients measured out & prepared before you start. This recipe calls for keeping as much air in it as possible so if you are pissing about with measuring flour or melting butter it won’t give the eggs time to deflate.

EQUIPMENT YOU WILL NEED

A big bowl
Electric mixer [I have the cheapest Kenwood Handmixer in the world]
2 cake tins 16, 18 or 20 cm in diameter
A big metal spoon

INGREDIENTS

5 eggs
150 grams castor sugar
150 grams PLAIN flour
60 grams of butter, melted

IN ACTION

1] Preheat oven to 180 degrees celcius or 356 degree Fahrenheit

2] Grease the edges of the two cake tins and put circles of baking paper in the bottom. Trust me, if you snooze on this you lose.

3] Melt the butter on the stove. When melted, take the saucepan off the hotplate and leave on the side till ready.

4] Crack 5 eggs in the bowl with the castor sugar. With the electric beaters, on the highest speed, whip the ingredients together until the eggs and sugar turn to an oofy mousse like mixture. It will take 10 minutes. It will have about quadrupled in size and start to be really thick.

5] Sift the 150 grams of plain flour over the egg mousse. Fold it in gently with the metal spoon. Folding is more like drawing backwards number sixes in the mixture, taking the spoon out and starting again. Don’t stir it like a maniac because you will beat all the air out. The folding won’t take too long. Remember when folding, scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl every now and again so there are no pockets of flour left.

6] Tip the melted butter around the inside rim of the bowl. Fold it through the same way.

7] Pour the mixture into your prepared tins splitting it 50-50

8] Bake them together in the oven for 15-18 minutes. DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN DOOR BEFORE 15 MINUTES ARE UP. There are two ways to check they are cooked.
a – Poke the top of the cake gently with your finger. If it makes a tiny dent and doesn’t spring back, put it in for a another 3 minutes.
b – With a skewer, stick it in the middle of the cake. If it comes out clean, it is cooked. If goey cake mix sticks to it, put the cake back in.

9] When the cakes appear cooked, take them out of the oven and let them stand in the tin for 5 minutes. Then run a knife around the edges. Flip them onto a cake rack and peel off the baking paper. BOOYAH. Perfect.

Genoise sponge is a traditional French and Italian cake and used as the basis of many different recipes. When the cakes have cooled, you can pour sugar syrup, alcohol [think Calvados, Frangelico, Amaretto not Lager] over the cake before decorating. You can also cut the cakes into thinner discs to make many layers sandwiched with cream, chocolate mouse, ganache, whipped cream, fruit or whatever. Or if you are like my cleaner Dora the Ignorer, you will just like them plain, break them up with your hands and eat chunks of it with a cup of tea.

The sponge can be cooked in any size tin and in any shape. It can also be piped if you are in the mood for making Cats Tongues. Just think about the size of the cake and how long it will take in the oven. And most of all, think about having me over for afternoon tea.

January 27, 2010

THE BOOYAH COOK: GODESS

One day I will bother explaining the ins and out of what it has been like living with Bipolar Mood Affective Disorder [aka Manic Depression that most people use - albeit incorrectly] but frankly it is a drag and a drain IRL so never really feel like blowing the trumpet online. But today as a absolute forced activity to get myself off the sofa I decided to work on my cake invention recipe and perfect it in the aim of sharing it with all of you. I can say categorically that cake eating Hayley at work has nominated this her favourite. She can elucidate her thoughts on every cake I every made and everything that goes into her mouth infinitum so truss, yeah. She knows.

So after today’s success I feel confident to announce The Booyah Cook has achieved some earth bound status – NOW KNOW AS GODDESS!!

Since then I have been with Sean Combs on a jet ski in Miami, making it rain up and down the strip in LA, my life is like a movie but if it looks like I’m having more fun than you then sue me. ETC.

MY CAKE
In concept is my favourite bits from different kinds of cakes: super moist vanilla sponge, fresh fruit, clafoutis-esque, lasts a long time. I have tried both a cherry one and a blackberry one. I think it will work with anything like mulberries, figs, fresh apricots or peaches, nectarines – strawberries would taste good but they would look rank.


Cherry

1] Grease a 9 inch / 23 cm (ideal size for BDL’s) circular cake tin and dust it with flour. It has to be a loose bottomed or spring loaded tin or when you get the cake out all the fruit is gonna mush up.

2] Preheat the oven to about 180 degrees C / 350 degrees F

I would like to say “freestyle freestyle” but the science of silkience will not adjust [remember that ad or is it just Australian? Mrs G?] when it comes to baking cakes. If a recipe recommends a particular tin at certain temperature, and you change either of those things it will impact on your recipe. Maybe even instant fail you.

3] With electric beaters cream together 120g butter and 120g castor sugar.
If you never made a cake before, this means mix the two together until the colour changes to a lighter shade and smooths into a paste and isnt all crumbly sugar and icing any more. Can take anything between 5 – 8 minutes.

4] Add two eggs. Get on the beating again. Mix until the colour changes again. It will end up pretty pale. Takes about 5-6 mins after adding the egg.

5] Add 240 grams of plain flour and 1 teaspoon of baking powder. Mix it in with a spoon or spatula. Don’t using the electric beaters now. The beaters will over work the flour and make it “tough” and you will end up with a loaf of flat bread. When you have mixed in all the flour, you will have a kind of doughy looking mixture though.

6] Mix in 6 drops of vanilla essence and 200 mls of creme fraiche with the spoon. It is still gonna be a doughy looking mixture. If you think it is too dry, add 10 mls of milk / water / alcohol whatever but not more.

7] Tip the mixture in the tin and spread it with the back of the spoon to the edges. Doesn’t have to be smooth, just kind of level.

8] Cover the top with whatever fruit you want. You are going to bake your cake for a fairly long time. So don’t put anything too small on it and the cake needs to rise underneath the weight of the fruit so make small slices of peaches or whatever. Try the blackberries first though. Awesome!

9]Put the cake in the oven for 40 minutes. It will most likely have to go in again. Everyone’s oven is different so maybe 40 minutes will be enough. Test like this: Use a skewer and prick the cake right to the bottom in the centre of the cake. If the skewer comes out clean, then the cake should be done. If there is any goo, put it in for another 15 minutes.

If the middle is gooey but the top has turned brown, turn your oven down 10-20 degrees before shoving the cake back in for the second go in the oven.

10] Leave the cake too cool a bit in the tin before turning it out. Then leave it on a rack to cook completely before you dust it with icing sugar you sprinkle on through a sieve.


Blackberry

The end.

Yum.

The icing sugar will eventually dissolve into the cake after a while with the moisture. It isn’t even really important to put it on there. Whatever you want!

BOOYAH

xx Lektrogirl

November 9, 2009

LEILA'S SHOP

Eggs and parma ham


Best gingerbread cake in London

Leila’s Shop 17 Calvert Ave London E2 7JP
Tel: +44 (0)20 7729 9789

September 22, 2009

BIRTHDAY WITHOUT ABORIGINAL MUSIC

Cake

September 18, 2009

MY CAKE HERO

As I said to Philippa “This cake for Valeria is going to be like Phantom of the Opera crossed with the Olypmic Games opening ceremony and the first few chords of Teardrops”

Drum rolls til Sunday!

xx Lektrogirl

August 31, 2009

MADAME A TROIS

The Cardinal and I have a new blog called “MADAME A TROIS / Wesley Snipes’ Private Party”.

Strictly for the die hard, this is a blog based loosely on one of our favourite things – China. Complexxion couldn’t even make it through a 30 minutes conversation at The Cardinal’s house one night for dinner before bursting into tears and telling us we were not being nice as we flicked through a Midwinter catalogue style book.

The Cardinal and I mean serious business, like Nino Brown dealing coke in New Jack City. Nino Brown played so hard that who could forget the passion in Ice T’s face when he has a gun over Nino [lying in garbage bags bleeding] saying “I want to shoot you so bad my dick is hard?”

If you would like to check our new tough love china site, please visit here: www.madameatrois.com

xx Lektrogirl

November 17, 2008

COMIC BAKERY

Oh yeah and I wanted to mention this site cakefarts.com that Manara sent me this morning.

That one is for you Mum.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. And I got my period about 15 minutes ago. How can I tell one of my best friends I got all worked up and had a ‘talk’ then deleted him all over some fucking PMT without looking like some EMO loser?! I guess I will wait a couple weeks and make up some other excuse… God. >>>!!HH!!MM!!LL<<<

April 11, 2008

MADAME A TROIS

So the latest venture from Shop At Maison B – Pippa and I have been going demented over vintage china lately. And the shop is under the jewel that is Maison Bertaux, with the finest cream cakes, croissants and pastries in all of London town! What makes a cake? Why, a cup of tea! A drink is too wet without one don’t they say? So it follows that we are fans of the tea set, especially if it’s mismatched crockery trios. If you’re stuck for the perfect gift we say a pretty trio called MADAME A TROIS (teacup, saucer and cake plate), packed in a cake box to go, with a bow on top for £29 will please most ladies… especially those who we’ve come to love as “our” ladies!

Some of them are so gorgeous I just want to be sick in the same way I get when I see fancy bra’s [OMG did you see the new collection at AP? The green leopard print with burgandy bow!!! I need one!! Only it is three times more expensive than a Madame A Trois. OMG I could sit in my underwear and drink tea in the summer!!! ]

I just want to drink Gin cocktails out of this one.

Hello – so nice! This is the kind of tea set a guy should have so that he can be cool but not look too nancy.

There are loads of different styles of Madame A Trois trios from the 1920’s to the 1960’s. This one is a hand painted job from the 1930’s.

In the black cabinet in the first photo on this post, are loads more trios to choose from which Madame Pippa will be happy to unlock for you if you want to torture yourself further with the delights of the treasures contained within.

xx Lektrogirl

February 15, 2008

GREAT THINGS IN NORTH LONDON

This is my new favourite café in North London, Le Péché Mignon 6 Ronalds Road, London, N5 1XH.

The name means like “cute sin” – a sin you are allowed cause you can’t resist. And I tell you, I am already ADDICTED to the Croque Monsieur there!

My ONLY CRITICISM about the place is the lettuce – that Apollo / Frisée stuff that prickles the inside of your mouth. It is a non food. It is like Br’er Rabbit all over again.

Never mind. Check out the coffee:

Not too hot when you get it so you can drink it straight away. This is always a very serious consideration. And note, that is actually cows milk not soya milk as I would normally ask for.

So now Le Péché Mignon is the ‘regular’ meeting point for Janus and I. Janus is a friend who used to work at KH with me. We used to not get on AT ALL in the office and actually had quite ridiculous verbal fights [over cake!!!] but outside of work we got on really well. We have a quite similar taste in a lot of things [though she also has talked me out of a Dado in the kitchen] and probably this is why we don’t get on in some ways. However, she left the KH office and has her own business now called Sugarloaf Mountain making cakes to order. I think she make Mark Eley’s Birthday cake last year for example!

Then we went to some junk shop and she got a Dalmation charm. HAHAHA the lesbian bestiality jokes I made about her. [Oh that is the other thing we used to fall out about - she would send me interoffice emails about what a dyke I am from Australia all the time. But then we did harass each other with the Dutty Wine.] Anyway back to the year 2008, we went to Oh La La the 2hand shop on Holloway Road and I found the perfect sugary lemon kitchen unit that will fit PERFECTLY where I am going to rip out the old cupboard and move the white stuff around in there. There I was thinking I was going to have to build something out of MDF and cover it with sticky backed plastic…

Come to think of it, Janus tried twice to make me go into The House of Harlot and stopped outside to look at a black and pink French Maids rubber outfit and said “I really like rubber.” Hmmm…

Anyway – I’m really looking forward to seeing Janus again next week. I already know what I am going to have! I wonder if Cardinal will bunk off work to come with?

xx Lektrogirl

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