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August 18, 2010

MEERCATS

There is a stirring in the meercat nest today. Not all the cats woke up happy.

I didn’t sleep so well last night. The bed broke. And the person I was sleeping with leapt out of bed in the middle of the night and cried “THE SHIRTS” with real panic, touched all the washing hanging on the clothes horse, and climbed gently back into bed. He had no recollection of it in the morning.

So lets rewind a few weeks to my blog when all I had to write about was my terrible online dating progress. How things change. Now I have stories about walking around ASDA in High Wycombe telling New Boyf that I am going to make a PiƱata in the shape of his head for his next birthday and how all his friends will love me because they will be able to bash his head with a stick and it will be full of so many sweets cause I could fit so many in there. I really laughed. He didn’t really. Now before my dear friends say “WITCHY!!” may I just point out the irony of that situation is HE ACTUALLY SAID HE WAS GOING TO MAKE A PINATA OF MY HEAD FIRST.

In a wind up of the online dating experience, I have either found someone great OR this is going to end up being the biggest wind up shit storm of all. If there can be anything worse than taking 20 magic mushrooms with a fully clothed guy but with his dick out that Philippa works with at an office party of hers while soldering new Lady Gaga outfits with LED lights getting fingered by a trademark lawyer who works at Shell. Or not. I dont think this will end up bad. I worry that it is all too much of a good thing and the universe will explode everything in my face like a giant abscess filled with the equivalent of 4 litres of melted butteresque pusy matter. But then who knows maybe not. I am never very good with change. But I try my best.

I just know I have a little cat at home who is waiting for me and I am going to bring her a little meercat doll I saw at the shop that she will love I am sure and then I am going to set up a livestream that I can log into any time and check out what the little cat is up to.

Who wants a cup of tea?

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