The Christmas House I was talking about yesterday.
Then last night Anthony and I made these Swiss Vermicelli Chestnut Meringue things.
Today I deliberately turned off both phones, stayed holed up in my boyfriends house, got out the tinsel and baubles and glitter snowflakes and built a mini grotto of Chritmas festive solitude. Instead of a tree, I build a three layered, six windowed, holly and poinsetta festooned Christmas house for putting presents in the windows and kind of neatly and tidily – way out of temptations path. I should take a picture of it because I am very proud of my little ropey efforts. There are only two presents inside at the moment – one from me for Hobart and one for Anthony from Hobart. I was in a little bliss. Even a tube of superglue exploding in my hands didn’t stop me for long. The smell of whitewash paint, that plastic smell of tinsel [I wish it was a perfume!] and the rustle of glitter snow strand things. Anthony said “Where am I going to put it??!!” It is too tall to go on top of the bookshelf. Instead it is sitting unevenly on some stack of stuff that looks so boring I can’t even be bothered to see what it is other than to know it is some solid shape.
Tonight for dessert, A-Dogg and I created a Swiss dessert – Chestnut Vermicelli in mountains on meringue with cream and raspberries. He is sitting playing “Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit” on the Xbox. He might have a need for speed but he aint gonna get far scoffing all the little mountains we made. More like “Need For Some Tracky Dacks: Hot Water Bottle”.
I love my blog. I haven’t given up on it. Or life.
Time for a little Christmas decoration on this blog I think as The G.A. has now sent out his Christmas message to all and sundry via email:
From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX]
Sent: 08 December 2008 04:27
To: Bob davidson; Dorothy Trace; Emma Davidson; paul davis; rose at work; rosemary davidson; Sally Foster; sally foster.; Sara; sheelagh; trent buckley
Subject: re: The festive seaonal greetings which most folk expect about now
Not another one? The fiest ten were quite exciting, but the last seventy three are becoming ‘more of the same’, if you know what I mean?
Let’s face humanity is not sure of the birthdat, and many don’t believe a virgin can have a baby and remain a virgin, AND The three proponents of the ’said’ Son of God, Peter, Paul and Him were dealt with cruelly by the Caeser who maintained HE was the son of God. Paul had his noggin cut off, Peter was crucified and the buried on the cross upside down, and the other fella was crucified for the love of we sinners, which stretches the imagination because he upset the moneylenders and banks, the Jews and all other religious attenders who liked their own Gods and rituals.
However. be that as it may, if the current activities ‘unscrooge’ and therebye make you and the recipients of your kindnesses happy, may I,as a devout unbeliever hope for your personal Festive Happiness.
Cheers to you all ex-your aging friend, husband, father,uncle. Great uncle, Grandfather and companion to the aged , John.
Sell your car for just $40 at CarPoint.com.au It’s simple!
We are driving to the shack through the bush. There has been loads of roadkill on the way. HOWEVER I saw one amazing thing – AN ECHIDNA strolling down the nature strip. We stopped for some nectarines at a stand at the side od the road. We also drove through a lot of vinyards. We are at the shack now. Later.
I associate Scrabble with afternoons when it is too hot to go outside and my Dad and Grandpa playing it to the death. My Dad is the worlds greatest Scrabble expert – he knows all the two letter words… Anyway I guess it comes from the fact Dad is British and he must have spent every Christmas trapped inside in the cold playing it like Alex T, Bok Bok and Manara. Here in Tasmania, we’ve been watching HR Pufnstuf DVD’s and are getting ready to hit the beach. Oh no – family crisis – my sister can’t find the IKEA bag, but she did find the missing transformer for the last set of icicle lights.
Anyway speaking of life in Tasmania I woke this morning to read an SMS from Alex T’s uncle – why they were talking about Tasmania I don’t know maybe Alex was talking about this amazing WAG he knows… – anyway, the SMS was a joke:
How do you know when a Tasmanian girl is on her rag?
Her blood is on her father’s cock.
Anyway I’ve been banned from talking about Alex T any more. XXCENSOREDXX told me that Alex T is only interested in 22-24yo Indie girls and I’m too old. Alex T is my real life R Kelly! I can go to sleep dreaming he’ll piss on me, but in reality I’m more likely to be R Kelly’s girlfriend’s mother.
If I was talking about anyone else except Mr T, I’d be worried they would read it and think I was a weirdo. But this is the guy who wants to tell everyone he is a facist on Facebook. I apparently regularly freak out Prancehall (XXCENSOREDXX is the same source of info there) but I really don’t mean to.
In other news, Cardinal sent me the best Xmas SMS of the season – she put a red Xmas bow round Jamals neck. Her cat is blind and probably thought she was dressing him up as Easter bunny!
Ahhh at last, the house is dark and I’m alone on the sofa blogging with my phone. I cried my eyes out this morning listening to a cover of Kate Bush by the winner of Australian Idol thinking about how hard this year has been. I’m so glad it is nearly over. I had a reading from a psychic – she told me I would move house. I hope so.
Tomorrow everyone is going to the shack of Poppy and Dash – jet skis, beach, river etc. I didn’t bring my bathers. I don’t know if I would be allowed to sit and get wasted on Mojitos in front of the kids. So I might stay at the house and go down the creek and play on the PS2 all the kids new games before even they have.
I hope my little house is okay. I’m really missing XXCENSOREDXX which is weird cause I hardly know him but he’s so funny and has such a smiley face. I also can’t wait to see XXCENSOREDXX who has been teasing me mercilessly because I don’t have a penis. It’s not fair to tell someone you love them then in the next breath tell them it’s impossible. So mean! But I’m REALLY looking forward to going to the secret brown people’s gay rave in a sari with XXCENSOREDXX – best fun ever. Apparently you cant take pictures in there though cause some men are married. Finally I will be pleased to see XXCENSOREDXX if that ever happens – charming, funny and vulgar. Quite delightful.
One thing I have noticed about my family is why say it when you can shout it? Why be warm when you can be curt? Why feel hurt for a moment when you can sulk for days and turn a cold shoulder and create a silence that lasts years? Also everyone seems to be covered in scabs that take months to heal (scratched spider bites) or bruises. All Australians to be exact.
Yesterday we went to Chickenfeed in Kingsmeadows. If you walk through Kingsmeadows without tattoos over your whole body you must be gay. Mullets and wrap around sunnies, tight jeans and ‘thongs’ (flip flops) a must. We also went to Wooworths and did some last minute grocery shopping.
Last night, Sara and I were up until like 1am – I spent 3 hours putting together a doll’s house. Sara did a scooter and something else…
My brother in law is a cop and he spent his night chasing people, talking people out of comitting suicide and he came home burning from pepper spray after he had to chase a perp who had been sprayed with it and was making a run for it.
Mum gave me a DVD she had made of all the super8 movies from when we were kids and a cookbook.
It’s Christmas Eve and I’m watching Ludacris and Devon ‘acting’ in the movie. Now some amazing cars.
Waiting for Santa
Today Santa came by the house in a firetruck and handed out sweets to the neighbourhood kids who were in their pj’s and Santa hats.
I can’t concentrate on the incredible movie. More later.
Today I got sunburnt stringing up lights in the greengage and apple trees in the front garden. It was 27 degrees today with a really hot wind. I forgot about a hot wind and hot sun together. Pretty awesome. But I have pink arms now and pink cheeks. I’m going to be all freckly when I get back to London. Hopefully I will meet a man one day who thinks that is cute on someone my age. Anyway – the Christmas lights are now growing and nearly finished. I have some rope lights to put up and some more fairy lights for the front window. I was going to put the rope lights around the front door but their lead is too thick and I can’t close the door properly. So that scuppered that plan. However Hobart is still the kind of place you can leave doors and windows open when you pop down to the road to pick up the papers from your neighbours house…
Apparently this evening there is going to be electrical storms. Bring it on! We have a corrugated iron roof so it will sound amazing.
Brunch was delicious. The coffee at Jackman and McRoss is INCREDIBLE. If only this place was in London. It would be great for a very casual date. Not for casual sex vibes BTW – but somewhere where you weren’t sure what kind of shoes someone was gonna be wearing to the date and so you weren’t sure if you liked them yet or not. YGM. Kind of like a “pre date see if you want to go on a date with them date”. It would also be one of the places I would take Cardinal. It is 100% total girl gossip vibes place too. I got a text from her this morning saying she was having food and drinks at her house for Christmas. I was really missing her then! I really love my friends.
Later this arvo Mutts and I went to Coles and Kmart for some more lighting essentials [got a light up reindeer for $4!] and I also checked out all the knickers. Mid aisle I was all in a quandry. I mean – I buy all the fancy bras – and therefor the assumtion is I get the matching underwear. I have discussed this before on my blog – so sorry to go on – BUT now I am wondering if I am failing as a person for not having matching underwear and continuing with the mix and match style that I like. I was looking down the aisles really confused. My search to discover myself continues.
Then in Coles, I got stopped by two guys for photographing different food items in store. One had a pierced eyebrow and the other didn’t. It would have been less embarrassing if Mum hadn’t started going on with “She has grown up in this supermarket and I have been shopping here for 30 years” yada yada. They told me that I would have to ask the manager’s permission to take pictures. Mum asked “Is the manager sitting there watching her on CCTV?” and the guy said “No the manager isn’t even here.” I tried to walk off into the potatoes but Mum was there telling them all about the things I take pictures of on my Flickr. Anyway here are some of the offending pictures:
Christmas Hams. Imagine the stomach cramps you would get if you totally stuffed yourself on these one after the other.
Kabana. Phallic. Amazing.
Anyway just for your information the photographing of all items in Coles is stricly prohibited. It makes me hate on Coles a little bit now. Anyway – gtg – I can overhear an interesting news piece on taxi drivers who rip off disabled kids by taking the long route home.
So this morning I’ve talked Mum into going to Jackman and McRoss for brunch. I really need a decent coffee. Maybe that is why I have a hideous headache today or the fact that I am getting work emails cc’d to my personal address.
Yesterday, I went round to the home to have a Christmas lunch with Dad, his friend Max and a University Student called Ian who goes round and visits Dad once a week to play Chess with him. Here is Dad at the end of the lunch with the table cloth on his head dressed as the Spirit of Christmas.
I had asked Alex T to come as well mid text chat – he was in Shoreditch House and I was on Clarendon Street – but unfortunately he couldn’t make it. Ergh saying ‘text chat’ sounds dirty, but I mean it literally – not as in text BABE to 85678 to speak with girls ready for dogging in your area.
Then my Auntie Diane came over and with Mum, we went to this Spanish Tapas place in Battery Point. The tortilla was amazing. They had whitebait. I had prawns. They were really nice. They made me think of all the eating I did with Ramiro in Spain. The food there was SO amazing. A shame is girlfriend hates me so much cause I would love to go back there. LOL.
And while Mum ran and got me nails and ladders when required, Auntie Diane sucked on a cigarette giving directions, I climbed all over the front of the house hanging icicle lights from the shitty veranda, taping lights in the windows of the front of the house and hanging light up bells too. It was amazing. I only have used approximately 800 lights in the display so far. Well it needs some more grunt definitely in the display but no-one else in the adjacent houses has any display at all. So Clarendon Street and Tower Road – IT’S OFFICIAL!! Step up your game.
There is a lot of rain and thunder right at this very second but it is going to be 27 degrees today. I’m surprised my over cautious mother is even allowing me to be connected to the internet right now in case I get an electric shock. LOL. I’m being serious.
And OMG – went into Harris Scarf yesterday and saw a store full of the most giant, ugly, cake tin sized bras ever!! Unbelieveable.
Im sitting in the middle of the Hot Breath Christmas Party. It is obviously amazing cause I’m sitting here blog… Venom and I are comparing notes. I have to be honest and say British Christmas seems really weird – like George and Mildred. I don’t really feel like I belong. But then my thoughts are already in Australia. Well I mean of course I belong – I’m surrounded by babes like Alex T and Cardinal and coke dick Venom – well maybe it is cause I’m worked to death right now and JoJo and her baby came into the studio and had liquid shits that nearly escaped through his babygro onto me. Roxy and Katharine both gaveme some beautiful jewellery today! So gorgeous.
This is so weird. i’ve just watched Alex T in a really animated conversation with some girl but backing away from her the whole time, and he’s circumnavigated the table and now has is ass in my shoulder and his elbow in my ear. Oh a chair just collapsed. He is taking care of things like a man.
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