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November 27, 2010

THE STATE OF ME

Ah so a day of a lot of action in my house. But seriously, Christ! The state of me!

I spent last night and this morning “cleaning out the cupboards”. Can someone tell me  I am not the only one who keeps a bag of paper bags of paper bags? Or a pill bottle full of stink bomb seeds? Half a tin of paint of a colour I painted over already in case I wanted to match the colour again another time cause I loved it so much? Mates, I am only a fifth of the way there. I decided I needed to make some guidlines like “All mail in the bin, dont keep anything like that any more” when I pull out a wadge of unopened mail from 2008. Divorce proceeding papers – does one keep this or bin them? Presently I have filed them, and a number of other things in a large carboard box which I fully intend to go through again and put stuff away sometime this year. But if it doesnt get looked at til March 2011 that is also okay with me [which means June]. Only A-HA! I have booby trapped it. I have just thrown the little presents I will need to fish out for people before Christmas day in it too. So there is a possibility it will be done before January 4th 2011 before I go back to work after the hols.

I once asked Abbie and Lee how they kept their house so organised and beautiful and Lee told me the secret was to throw everything out and not keep anything. I wish I could put that voice in my head instead of my mothers every time I find a half used spiral bound secretary note book full of my exhusbands notes where he has written the most inane lists. It is a contstant battle.

Today was Dora’s birthday. We shared some Chocolate HobNobs and a glass of Rosé Shoeler in the good glasses.

Half way through her visit I went to the loo and reaslised the crotch of my light grey tracky trousers as bloods stains in them from my recent period visible from the outside. I wasn’t so bothered about Dora having seen them. She knows what a grot I am already. It is just everyone in the street when I went up to use the cash machine will have a knowledge far more intimate that I would like. Not sure if it is a bad as the time a pair of knickers fell out of my jeans leg as I walked past a large gang of Reebok hoodies in about 2001. Ah well. Time heals all wounds

August 11, 2010

SO MATURE

Left on my own in his house this morning, rather than snoop through all the cupboards, I got on the Wii and deleted his ex-girlfriends Mii and replaced it with R Kelly, created by GOD.

Feeling satisfied I played a few rounds of Mario Kart as Bones then went and cleaned the kitchen worktops and stove as much as I could be bothered channelling my African sister, Dora.

Some days I am blissfully happy.

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