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July 20, 2010

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB #42

>  ——-Original Message——-
>  From: John Davidson <XXCENSOREDXX>
>  To: Emma Davidson
>  Subject: RE: mostly hobart
>  Sent: 20 Jul ‘10 04:25
>
>  Don’t know what Hoby is lying on, but it looks loke a tie? She and I
>  have the pattern in common. The pattern on my tea mug (Dilma tea of course
>  plucked by Virgin fingers on the tea plantations on Ceylon? I was on Celon
>  once on my way to AUS, went down to MOUNT lAVINIA, for some dopey reason
>  and whilsi enjoying the tranquility og the oceanic view a cow sidled upto
>  me, it was rear-end first, and emptied its friggin bowels all down my
>  strides and shiny shoes. So I gave it a hefty kick up the arse. Talk about
>  shite hitting the fan. a mob of irate Ceylonese gathered and threatened me
>  with all sorts of punishment? H.T.F. was I to know that cows were sacred
>  animals. I realy upset some prat who spoke English and therefore understood
>  my aside, “We wouldn’t even eat that underfed, skinny bastard in England”
>  I think half the small gathering crapped themselves, probably saying a few
>  words to their Cow God?  I gave myself the old Ace.King.Queen.Jack sign and
>  retired quite quickly.
>  . I was working on the Himalaya at the time, a PASSENGER SHIP OF GOODLY
>  GIRTH AND SOME 2000 Odd PASSENGERS, PLUS THE CREW MOST OF WHOM WERE Homos.
>  So all I could do was go back to a guiness or two and sundry proposals of
>  marriagefrom the willowy members of the crew, No wonder I jumped ship in
>  SydneyIcould regale your reader with furthe tales from the trip to Aus and
>  the eventual punishment for not paying your fare to Aus. The Judge was a
>  Chritian soul. H sentenced me to 21 days in Long bay jail, for breaking
>  ship’s articles Justice Murpphy. He was looking kindly at man who had done
>  pretty well during my 2 years evading the police and port authorities
>  looking for a psuedonymned Irishman with the assumed name of an IRISH
>  GUARDS MATE OF MINE FROM tHE Scots Guards Armoured division in which I
>  served during the war no 2, One Michael Patrick Byrne.  God helpus we ‘d
>  have drunk more Guiness in a night a Christian could have baptised the
>  bloody division of Guardsmen in!
>  Cheers my darling daughter. I am trying to win a lottery again so I can
>  afford to spend the last days of my life in the best city in the world. Luv
>  Yer Dad. and you you furry ferret little ponce. Jonnno.XXXXXX

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