Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

April 27, 2009


Life has been going a bit better for me than this rat I saw on the Holly Lodge Estate over the weekend. And better than this fish at the 02 Centre on Finchley Road where their aquarium mortality rate is incredibly high I think. Who can forget that big black fish that was floating around in the tank for months “asleep”?

Then I went out to Real Gold with The Cardinal after scoffing a bottle of Champagne that V gave me for Christmas, what was left of a bottle of vodka mixed with tonic on the tube and even more at the party itself.

Louis Enchanté was there standing in a puddle of water and I had a great chat to him later after he came to dry land and he then introduced me to his brother. While we all talked, a guy spent the evening on his hands and knees scooping up the flood with a plastic half pint glass into a bucket. I was thinking we were going to build an ark but it didn’t come to that.

I was very excited to see DJ Assault play. He had called me earlier that day to ask me if I was able to come and hang out cause he had arrived earlier than he thought and he didn’t know wassup. Unfortunately I was standing on The Frenchman’s kitchen chair with a paintbrush in my hand and couldn’t go. A shame. Never the less I got to see the “Porn Star In Training” later that night.

Don’t hate a playa guys, just hate the game. It wasn’t Assault’s best set ever I have to say. He was doing a lot of juggles with doubles which I felt did not work out so great. His set was also his hits one after the other. Rumour has it that Daniel Lee is putting on DJ Assault some time later in the week at The Social which I think is the perfect club for DJ Assault. I would go check out Assault at The Social if the rumour is true!

I prefer sweaty dancing in big gay sweatbox dance clubs. A lot of people were standing there just watching the technique [Serato or equivalent...] which made serious dancing difficult – The Cardinal and I had some real moves going on. Fists ladies. The way to go. I got a lot of compliments from men telling me I am a good dancer. Thanks! Now get out of my way – I have some floor to shine. Guys were also presuming that just because I was dancing to the music that I wanted to be a sub on the dancefloor. I don’t want to get dry humped by some English man with the front of his t-shirt pulled over his face. Remember that Icey Blu song Pump It?

On the way home, I found these on the side of the road. What happened?

The following day I didn’t wake up til it was time to cook dinner. Yes. I stayed at The Frenchman’s. I had dreams all night about sexual liaisons with a very good drinking friend of mine – I’m not sure we actually had sex but we were definitely vibing. If that wasn’t peculiar enough, in the dream the windows of his house were wallpapered with aluminium foil, all the shelves were wonky and there were all this random horrible cheap plastic statues of pigs and carts with some crepe paper. And there were chewed up and mangled feathers all through the draughty cold and wet apartment from this mental cat that was eating an old feathered bathing costume. Freud – that one is all yours.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. In other news, lameatnames.com was down again for bandwidth over usage this month. Valeria and I have to come up with some money making schemes.

August 4, 2007


Here I was in the Shopgirl Damart office about 8 years ago. Just FYI, they are Earl Jean skinny 29 inch waist jeans. I would have toruble getting an arm in the leg now.

In this picture, I am wearing a jumper that is called Frenchy. That jumper features in a song on the album I wrote released on Rephlex as Lektrogirl. It also used to belong to my old boyfriend Daniel.

Daniel de Jong and I were together when I was living in Tasmania in 1997-98 and I regret to this day ever breaking up with him. I still have the plaster chess pieces his Uncle carved as practise scrimshaw. I regularly Google Daniel to find out what he is up to. All I have been able to confirm is that the rumours about him hand making guitars is true. Daniel – if you ever read this, I was vile and I’m sorry. Walking around the Cornelian Bay Hockey fields with you was some of the best times I had. And there are still some of your records I wish I knew the sames of…

I broke up with Daniel after sleeping with a guy called “Slack Nuts”. When he lay face up on the bed with his legs apart his nut sack was actually resting on the mattress. He said part way through like “I want to be your protector.” Suffice to say it was a one night thing.

Then I went out with this guy:

Monsieur Dimanche. Going out with him was a massive mistake BUT his is a hilarious person and I had a lot of fun with him. Good times. He just wasn’t a good choice of boyf for me. I hear he is very happy in America now dating some girl he calls The Midget. Oh Antoine is a great dancer! So funny!! We were always make trouble together.

Then this is the guy I married:

Which I still don’t know if it was a good or bad thing.

Today I’m spending my Saturdy afternoon doing book kepping in the Katharine Hamnett studio. On the way here though I stopped off at the second hand shop. I’m not going to tell you which one cause that would be giving away some vital information top secret but to every girl in this office. I mean – already a lot of people know it, but why invite more. I didn’t need to go there cause Katharine gave me the jacket I was eyeballing all week that she bought back from Dalston cause I loved it so much. Katharine is the sweetest most generous person sometimes. And JoJo bought back the most BEAUTIFUL brooch on earth for me. But it might have been cause I made an old man happy. Private Joke. Anyway I bought 5 dresses at the 2hand shop – one of which is an Austrian dirndl. My tits look massive. Well I guess I won’t get a German boyfriend wearing one…

I gotta get back to work

xx Lektrogirl

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