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April 27, 2009

WASSUP LATELY

Life has been going a bit better for me than this rat I saw on the Holly Lodge Estate over the weekend. And better than this fish at the 02 Centre on Finchley Road where their aquarium mortality rate is incredibly high I think. Who can forget that big black fish that was floating around in the tank for months “asleep”?

Then I went out to Real Gold with The Cardinal after scoffing a bottle of Champagne that V gave me for Christmas, what was left of a bottle of vodka mixed with tonic on the tube and even more at the party itself.

Louis Enchanté was there standing in a puddle of water and I had a great chat to him later after he came to dry land and he then introduced me to his brother. While we all talked, a guy spent the evening on his hands and knees scooping up the flood with a plastic half pint glass into a bucket. I was thinking we were going to build an ark but it didn’t come to that.

I was very excited to see DJ Assault play. He had called me earlier that day to ask me if I was able to come and hang out cause he had arrived earlier than he thought and he didn’t know wassup. Unfortunately I was standing on The Frenchman’s kitchen chair with a paintbrush in my hand and couldn’t go. A shame. Never the less I got to see the “Porn Star In Training” later that night.

Don’t hate a playa guys, just hate the game. It wasn’t Assault’s best set ever I have to say. He was doing a lot of juggles with doubles which I felt did not work out so great. His set was also his hits one after the other. Rumour has it that Daniel Lee is putting on DJ Assault some time later in the week at The Social which I think is the perfect club for DJ Assault. I would go check out Assault at The Social if the rumour is true!

I prefer sweaty dancing in big gay sweatbox dance clubs. A lot of people were standing there just watching the technique [Serato or equivalent...] which made serious dancing difficult – The Cardinal and I had some real moves going on. Fists ladies. The way to go. I got a lot of compliments from men telling me I am a good dancer. Thanks! Now get out of my way – I have some floor to shine. Guys were also presuming that just because I was dancing to the music that I wanted to be a sub on the dancefloor. I don’t want to get dry humped by some English man with the front of his t-shirt pulled over his face. Remember that Icey Blu song Pump It?

On the way home, I found these on the side of the road. What happened?

The following day I didn’t wake up til it was time to cook dinner. Yes. I stayed at The Frenchman’s. I had dreams all night about sexual liaisons with a very good drinking friend of mine – I’m not sure we actually had sex but we were definitely vibing. If that wasn’t peculiar enough, in the dream the windows of his house were wallpapered with aluminium foil, all the shelves were wonky and there were all this random horrible cheap plastic statues of pigs and carts with some crepe paper. And there were chewed up and mangled feathers all through the draughty cold and wet apartment from this mental cat that was eating an old feathered bathing costume. Freud – that one is all yours.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. In other news, lameatnames.com was down again for bandwidth over usage this month. Valeria and I have to come up with some money making schemes.

December 6, 2008

THE MADNESS OF DJ GUY


PHREN1-3, originally uploaded by astropop.

So, I downloaded this mix ages ago and I refound it on my hard drive after I went through and was uploading new stuff to lameatnames.com [NSFW]

Those of you who have been following my blog will know that I am a big fan of DJ Guy, and have had the pleasure of his company on many occasions – highlights being playing scrunchie football at Diamond Grills in Paris, get shit faced with him and Bitch Ass Darius at my local etc. The ‘Fired Up Promo Mix‘ is one of my favourite mixes of all time – not only because it contains his own track from the Fired Up EP “Big Pussy” but because it also contains the BANGING TRACK by Bitch Ass Daris G**K Hoes on NES one of the best records of all time and I have gone on about that whole mix a million times before.

Oh so where was I? I feel as giddy as my little nephew Sam who I just spoke to at the Devonport Show after he just got off the GeeWhizzer – he said that it was okay when it was going slow but it went really fast and it freaked him out. But he wasn’t as scared as his dad was.

Okay so feet back down on the ground:

THE MADNESS OF DJ GUY

Tracklisting
* Intro – Beat Dominator – 2 4 6 8 Feel The Bass (Tekno Version)
* DJ Nasty – Rythmalism – Motor City Electro Company
* Facedown – Smack Dem Gutz (Dub Mix) – Bassdog Records
* Unknown DJ – Basstronic (Bonus Beats) – Dunk Yer Funk Records
* Gant-Man – Lets Get It Perculated – Ghetto Test
* Esser – Forces (Reese Mix) – KMS
* The Underground Track Master – 313 Let’s Go
* DJ Guy – Going Crazy – Global Fire
* DJ Puncho – Let Me C U Juke – Dance Mania
* Crazy Caz – Work It Out – Big Boy Records
* The X-Men – It’s More Fun To Sample (Dub Version)
* Parris Mitchell Project – Bitches & Money – Dance Mania
* Soul Designer – Detroit Sound – F Communications
* Aux 88 – Direct Drive – Direct Beat
* A-Trak – Kraftwerk Break – Ammo Records
* Debo – From Da Back – Freak Mode
* Paul Johnson – Tic Toc – Cajual Records
* Chaos – Afrogermanic – Underground Resistance
* Egyptian Lover – Egypt Egypt – Egyptian Empire Records
* DJ Slugo – Cardboard Booty – Dance Mania
* Little Computer People – Eyes – Psi49net
* Pierre’s Pfantasy Club – Dream Girl (Ralph Rosario Mix) – Mastercuts
* DJ Flint – Bitches and Hoes – Freak Mode
* Renegades of Rhythm – Before The Dawn (Main Mix) – North End Recordings
* DJ Godfather – 24’s – D.E.T. Only
* DJ Godfather – Much Live – Databass Records
* Posatronix – Shake It – Direct Beat
* Teksoul – Chuck (Heavey Bottom Mix) – Skuzz
* DJ Guy – Gangster (Extended Mix) – Global Fire
* Traxmen & Eric Martin – Hit It From The Back – Dance Mania
* Break FX
* Wiley – Flyboy – Shut Your Mouth Recordings
* Red Planet – Prayer Stick (Trans Electric) – Red Planet
* George Kranz – Trommeltanz (Din Daa Daa) – Personal Records
* Non Stop DJs – Hydraulic Pimp – Non Stop Recordings
* Neighbour – What I Say – Home Breakin Records
* X-Men – Revenge Of The X-Men – The X Files
* Adonis – No Way Back – Trax UK
* Fade To Black – In Synch – Fragile Records
* Luke ft Jiggie – Take Off Your Clothes – Priority Records
* DJ Guy – Lil Closer – Global Fire
* DJ Guy – Amber DJ Tools – Global Fire
* I.O.S. – Dance Through The Night – F.A.C.T. Records
* DJ Godfather – Work That! (Clean) – Twilight 76 Records
* Supply N’ Demand – Updown – Supply N’ Demand
* DJ Assault – Jungle Love – Electrofunk Records
* 24-K – Don’t Go There (Acapella) – MCA Soundtracks
* DJ Guy – Don’t Fuck With Me (Fuckstrumental) – Global Fire
* DJ Deeon – Every Day – Freak Mode
* Aaron-Carl – No No – Intuit-Solar
* Dj Assault – Disco Guitar (Remix) – Electrofunk Records
* DJ Assault – Dis Bitch – Electrofunk Records
* Clark – Dirty Pixie – Warp Records
* Gant-Man – Muzik Make U – Dance Mania

Some personal highlights from this mix are Little Computer People – that album is great and reminds me of days and night in Brussels and DJing in the Atomium and Gant Man – Let’s Get It Perculated. Anything about the Perculator works for me.

And about now, the fireworks display will be over in Devonport and I’ve spooged all I needed to about DJ Guy. Now all I need is a new mix from Bitch Ass Darius.

xx Lektrogirl

August 27, 2007

OH WHAT A NIGHT!!

My Saturday started so well – Pippa and I knocked the VAT on the head, we managed to work out iMovie together [I prefer Windows Movie Maker FYI] and she made this cute little movie about nearly all the food we ate all day.

You might think that is kind of a random thing to go posting first when I have such cool pics to show you, but trust me – this is going somewhere.

So, after work Pippa and I knocked a bottle of Rosé on the head with “finger food” sized portions of chips at the Coach and Horses. Then who should roll up but the old 7 Year Glitch crew with DJ Assault.


Happy Days. Everyone has their best Photoface[TM] on.

I lept up and introduced myself to DJ Assault with a big kiss although I have to say I couldn’t believe ASBO D would have the nerve to turn up smiling after the last time I saw him was in the Macbeth and he said to me “PREPARE TO FEEL THE FULL FORCE OF MY HATRED” with his eyes nearly bugging out of his head. I found it a bit sexual at the time. But more about the full force of ASBO’s hatred later.


DJ Assault has both his hands full with our F.U.P.A.’s
Hard to believe but true, I had cracked DJ Assault up with a few jokes ranging from some smutty innuendo offering to suck his dick [and I thought Americans didn't have that kind of sense of humour!] and also explaining to him what showerface means. And Pippa has a picture to prove it but I sure as hell hope this NEVER surfaces on the internet. In this picture, Philippa and I are trying to hold it together after DJ Assault explains in secret what F.U.P.A. means – and there I was thinking he had said ‘faux pas’ trying to tell him he had bad French. Little did I know it was an acronym for FAT UPPER PUSSY AREA.


DJ Assault with All Dem Hoes
What the fuck I look like I don’t know – I’m sideways and wider than everyone else in the picture. Philippa and Pippa have bonded after realising that they both have identical names – both Philippa Ann. Philippa found out today at some carnival that Pippa is Greek for blow job. I must remember to tell Pippa that when I see her next.


Like the end of a tin of Quality Street you always end up with an odd assortment.
Even so, isn’t my ex-husband beautiful? Next time XXCENSOREDXX you wanna go flirt with him, you better watch out cause I look at this picture and it just makes me want to hate you more you rat headed sharp faced hoe.


Big Ups to DJ Assault for keeping it straight edge with a secret exlir juice that Pippa was getting the bar to make for him. I thought he was into milk, but he told me that he doesn’t drink that any more cause he had to watch his physique. DJ Assault is so sweet and funny. I even got to see under his hat. He is perfect for cuddling.

See:

I’ve only got a little bit of a crush on DJ Assault now. But I don’t really know how happy he is with me after I told him the girl on his t-shirt had no ass or titties. Tho’ that didn’t stop him from staring and my titties all night. He said he wasn’t but he so was!

So after a jolly night drinking ASBO sped off into the night with DJ Assault and we [I?] decided it would be an incredible idea to go to Trisha’s. I already had a skin full on an empty stomach.

From this:

To this:

I have to tell the whole world THANK YOU BRAINS and I’m so sorry for making those coupld of jokes you found too personal. You are my hero for staying with me until 4am in Soho while I puked my soul up. Then convincing the Somali cab driver I wasn’t to wrecked to take me home.

This song is for you:

Anway fans and party people, the last time I was ill like that was in Tasmania 10 years ago and my mother had to take me to the doctor to get an injection to make me stop wretching when there was NOTHING left. I had been longing for my old days for a while now – thinking “Life was so much more exciting when I was 25″ but I really know that I would rather be 35…

xx Lektrogirl

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