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November 8, 2010

WHY I HATE FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES

So I wrote:

was about to have a gigantic facebook “vomit” all over the place and really bust loose is a post held back kind of way for the last two weeks of sickness and lose the fucking plot mate just because im closer 40 than 30 and really dont give a fuck. i did that the other day to anthony in person when he left me in a house with flies and no food and upset him. instead i decided to show my maturity and am “being nice” like sarah lee would be. but it would feel SO FUCKING GOOD. just so you all know.

Pressed the button  SHARE

And I get:

Status too long

Your status update is too long. The maximum status length is 420 characters, but it is 498 characters long.
NOW I REALLY WANT TO BLOW A FUCKING GASKIT.

November 10, 2009

BEST DAY OF MY LIFE


Best Day Of My Life, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

xx Lektrogirl

August 31, 2008

MY GIFT TO PHIL


August 19, 2008

LOVING MYSELF


Loving Myself, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Yes pretty cool today. Also, I created my own Facebook Application today called CONTEMPORARY ART. For dinner I ate the last of the roast pork belly with some potato roesti. I watched the third episode of CSI Miami today. I put the heating on. Can you believe it? Then I went through all my desktop and random folders and realised I have quite a collection of great Flickr Porn now. I can’t wait for Valeria to come to London in September so we can discuss such matters. I hope she likes to sit around and do nothing as much as I do. I am already thinking about what I will do for Christmas – it looks like tickets to Australia are £1600 – a £400 increase on last year. So maybe I will go for my birthday or something which is half the price. But still – Christmas alone in London. Thank Allah for all the Muslims who have chicken shops that are open on Christmas day or WTF would I eat?

xx Lektrogirl

August 10, 2008

RANK ALERT

WARNING

I said I wouldn’t post another one of these every again but I couldn’t resist. The other night after watching a plethora of cyst videos on YouTube and having Facebook chats with a nice friend, I then when to bed and called my friend for further conversation where he was continuing to watch these videos and describing everything that was happening in them – I was watching these videos by proxy! Oh what a happy heart. Anyway this one sounded SO GOOD that I had to get the link and sure enough it was in my inbox this morning for me to enjoy [I had garlic stuff olives and cherry tomatoes for breakfast with a cup of English Breakfast tea.]

Anyway if you don’t have the stomach to be checking out the video above, I will explain briefly that it is someone with a tooth abscess squeezing the bloody puss into her own mouth. It is fucking RANK.

In other news, my big Saturday night was Mr Chips and I making Facebook videos for a number of friends. Apologies to those who received rather weird videos [Mrs Kipling and Cazza for example]

Night night beautiful people. I want to go and have sweet dreams.

xx Lektrogirl

January 29, 2008

HIGHS AND LOWS

Last night I spent struggling under my bath fitting the new shower tap and head into the plumbing. Oh my days, whoever the genius was who engineered the back nuts to be so awkward really deserves their front nuts removing. Never the less, I struggled and swore and totally missed ‘City of Vice’ but I got the new taps on! Yeah bruv, I love the internet. Everything I know about plumbing I learnt there.

You could not imagine the elation I felt about acheiving this small goal. It lasted about two hours. I was just in the bathroom chilling looking at my new taps when I could hear a drip. Not often and not very big, but with my bat like hearing I could definitely hear it. The isolator valve on the hot tap has spring a pin prick leak. I need to go talk to someone in the bath shop on Holloway Road tomorrow about it – to replace it [I think the actual screw is threaded in the valve switch] looks pretty straight forward, but I could be wrong.

Thankfully, Cardinal is back from Sri Lanka or I would go on and on about plumbing. A bit like the time I ended up vocalising the difference between a laser printer and an ink jet printer for Pippa. Ahhh good times. I met her yesterday early evening. Both of us feeling a bit poorly. We had a glass of wine. She has a TAN and her hair all holidayfied. She looks amazing. Then she gave me a slice of carrot cake she made – it was the best carrot cake ever! THE BEST. I am going to marry her one day. We sat on the sofa checking out different greys on paint colour swatch cards. So romantic.

Anyway – soon I am going to commit suicide on Facebook. I really fucking hate it. I’ve been the victim of scary profile picture attacks, a sucker for accidently sending out random applications to all my friends [I'm still sorry] and finding out if I was a drug I would be cocaine, but I am going to die from old age. Go figure. AND YOU CAN’T EVEN PIMP YOUR PAGE. Now that Macy’s seem to have stopped giving away store cards and $500 all over the place I’m going back to MySpace. I like it there. So come February, Facebook I kill myself in defiance to you. If anyone wants to make a pact let me know. I’m not scared, but it there is something nice about a mass exit.

xx Lektrogirl

January 11, 2008

YESTERDAY


With recent events in my life, it has taken me a while to get this thing online. I challenge everyone to nominate a better Facebook Grafitti Artist than Nicholas Abrahams. Here he has depicted a more realistic scene than that depicted on my birthday cake. Even though my mother’s work came from actual photographs of R Kelly and I, somehow Abrahams seems to have captured something MORE. WHAT A GENIUS. I would prefer to think we were sucking car exhaust fumes though from a tailpipe than a bong. Cause I don’t do drugs. Maybe something from a V8 engine machine – maybe like a Ford Cobra

or even this

check the number plate!

Just for your information – cars like this are all over still in Australia.

Yesterday was really a nice chilled out day – except for the part where I got really rained on. I went and met XXCENSOREDXX for coffee at Flat White. Oh the coffee was AMAZING. XXCENSOREDXX was quite jealous I new a number of the staff by name. Then off to snoop through Liberty and see what Spring Summer 2008 collections were in store.

Well!! Forget See by Chloe for this season unless you want to look like a 5 year. There were also a number of dresses that looked sneakily too much like other designers collections – one dress in fact was a total Marni knock off. Besides, you know that the whole collection will be ripped off in H&M and Top Shop by next week.

Marni knock off. I remember seeing the Marni one in a magazine which was grey with the grey painterly brush print thinking “Oh that would look great on a fat girl like me.” I actually really liked the Marni one. Maybe I will make my own dress with a cut off t-shirt and some vintage fabric.

Pussy Pelmet. I can tell you know that this is going to be a big look for AW08 – so you better get some big knickers or your filet mignon’s are going to be available to all and sundry. After Liberty I went to see Pippa at Maison B – I wish I had photographed the page out of the A.P.C. catalogue for SS08 cause there is a practically identical dress to this on a far more sour faced girl, except the dress was even shorter. The print was the same colour as well.

Having said that, there was a lot of REALLY NICE A.P.C. stuff in that look book and I’m waiting for my bag that I ordered when I was over in Paris with Max and Pippa in the A.P.C. studio. BRING IT ON!

So after half of an eclair with Pippa, I went up stairs to see the Noel Fielding painting exhibition. I really didnt like about 98% of it. What I do like is that Tania from Maison Bertaux has started curating these exhibitions in the the upstairs tea rooms. I think it is a really wonderful thing.

Anyway – sorry I’m rambling.

xx Lektrogirl

December 3, 2007

POWER POO

I am so proud of myself making this picture for Nick Abrahams. He really excelled himself with poo pics on my facebook, but then I did this one!! I feel a bit like the day I was laughing at my own jokes – who was it in front of – Cardinal I think. How embarressing.

xx Lektrogirl

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