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October 1, 2008

THAT FUCKING ANNOYING SEX WOMAN ON TV

FROM MANARA’S FLICKR – another fucking hilarious rant and another reason why I love her:

THAT FUCKING ANNOYING SEX WOMAN ON TV

I put my headphones on immediately. FUCKING CUNT i hate this stupid twat so much she is everything that is wrong with the world today. reinforcing unachievable aspirations, FOR FUCKS SAKE IF YOU CAN’T AN ORGASM THEN FINGER YOURSELF WHILST GETTING BANGED OR GET YOUR MAN TO LICK YOUR PUSSY IT’S NOT HARD. FOR THOSE WHO ARE UNFORTUNATE AND CAN NEVER HAVE THIS, THAT’S THAT A TV SHOW WON’T HELP WILL IT YOU FUCKING VIVACIOUS BUBBLY CUNT. i also hated how she was like ‘oh i have nice shoes, and nice pets, so what’s missing?’ err my shoe kicking you in your fucking cunt? AND she has a boyfriend! i know she’s doing it for the money obv but god. i hate how the female orgasm has been standardised as a tangible, set experience that can be analysed by a tv show. besides, most of the world is conceiving without orgasming, i’d love to see her go to bangladesh and teach village women about orgasms. it’s not like she’s correlating orgasming with power hierarchies or autonomy or anything, the premise it is literally her being unsatisfied with what she’s got and wanting to ~dig deeper~. obviously it’s mainstream tv and it’s going to be shit and offensive but whatever

also i love how in the first ep they watched 2 girls 1 cup lol

Uploaded by s manara on 1 Oct 08, 2.09AM BST.

September 26, 2008

Хорватия июнь

I love it when I find a new photostream to subscribe to.

Today I calculated I was happy to wake up to banana muffins. I deliberately didn’t take my sunglasses or my camera to work so that I could take my £1 junk shop book “Faces, Figures And Feelings: A cosmetic Plastic Surgeon Speaks” by Leslie E. Gardener published in 1959. Dr Gardener has very bushy eyebrows a bit like Sam The Eagle from the Muppets. The book is illustrated with all kinds of before and after pictures which I will no doubt at to my Flickr or blog at some stage while referencing another bleeding heart story from my tragic life. Anyway – as it transpired The Cardinal came into town and met me for lunch. AND SHE IS NO LONGER A VIRGIN!!! After our bacon and avocado salads we went down to Ladurée in The Burlington Arcade. Her favourite is pistachio. A discerning palette. The statement of the afternoon had to be when she said “I didn’t even know all this was here in the Burlington Arcade. Last week if I won the lottery I’d have gone off shopping somewhere else. This Saturday if I win the lottery, I’ll be coming here first. Look at all the bling.” Sadly, the harlequin pendant for £9500 I had my eye was was gone. I could settle for an antique Rolex. And we sat in the sun [very shiny today!] and she took some pictures and we discussed a friends wedding that we heard of where the venue alone will cost £20,000. A lot. But yerrr I could have used my sunnies and my snapper today.

Speaking of a lot, this is my most viewed picture in my photostream:

Watching the pair of them dance was such a funny night.

xx Lektrogirl

August 28, 2008

DEATH BAG

Sorry about the boob everybody but while browsing Flickr for more pictures for lameatnames.com I came across this beautiful picture – not cause of the girls, or their clothes or the tit hanging out, the nature strip or the houses or the cars – but because the blond girl is clutching what is commonly known from my part of Australia as “A Death Bag”. It is one of the inner bags from a cardboard cask of wine – and that’s how we do at parties back at home. The silver one’s are cooler than the clear plastic ones [they look like colostomy bags] but either way, whatever is in them has so many preservatives in the ‘wine flavoured drink’ [lolz] that the morning after you feel like fucking death. Hence the name. You Get Me?!

Yesterday as I said the Troll came over and did my garden. It was amazing. In two hours the Troll totally changed the whole place. I keep looking at it in surprise – it is so incredible! But whatever happened in the garden yesterday has meant that a huge number of insects have come inside [are they angry?!] and I woke up this morning itching like crazy. Then I packed my record back full of tools and screws and DIY stuff and trundled round to the Troll’s grotto and put some shelves up. I can’t tell you how great these last two days have been. I mean – I’m totally broke right now and have been working super hard at my job and keeping myself in line – there are a lot of things I could be miserable about. But then these simple pleasures come along… I’m really getting old right?! Only I’m now covered in another set of itchy bites this time from being shut in the cupboard doing these shelf things…

I went to Mc Donalds for dinner tonight because I was too knackered to do anything else. It was a big treat – I had a 6 nugget meal with OJ and curry sauce plus a cheeseburger on the side. Thank Allah there was actually an burger in there this time. Last time I was there, I got a cheese burger with ONLY CHEESE in it!! The shame!!

Seriously looking like this I knew I was gonna spend the night alone. Anyway while I was there, three youths came in and as one of them was ordering, one of the trio ‘lighthoused’ him so he was standing there in just his boxers with his trackie dacks round his ankles. Massive LOLZ.

Here is the Tarte Tartin thing I cooked yesterday. It is massive mauled cause already a lot got eaten and then I kept picking at it. But yerrr it was good.

Sorry I’m talking bullshit now. Yerrr so that is a deathbag!

xx Lektrogirl

August 25, 2008

LAMEATNAMES.COM

At last, an arena for posting all my Internet intimate pictures. Everytime I put pics on here I get told by everyone “I CAN’T LOOK AT THAT AT WORK!!!” so instead, there is now a dedicated website to forlorn desire, absurd nudity and heartbreaking loneliness. There is a lot in the bin there.

http://www.lameatnames.com

BOOKMARK IT! V and I will be continually updating the site with new pictures when we can. V is based in Paris. I have never met her. We both like to be bitten. We both had sex with the Parisian Jew.

And yerrr take care. Definitely not suitable for work.

xx Lektrogirl

August 19, 2008

LOVING MYSELF


Loving Myself, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

Yes pretty cool today. Also, I created my own Facebook Application today called CONTEMPORARY ART. For dinner I ate the last of the roast pork belly with some potato roesti. I watched the third episode of CSI Miami today. I put the heating on. Can you believe it? Then I went through all my desktop and random folders and realised I have quite a collection of great Flickr Porn now. I can’t wait for Valeria to come to London in September so we can discuss such matters. I hope she likes to sit around and do nothing as much as I do. I am already thinking about what I will do for Christmas – it looks like tickets to Australia are £1600 – a £400 increase on last year. So maybe I will go for my birthday or something which is half the price. But still – Christmas alone in London. Thank Allah for all the Muslims who have chicken shops that are open on Christmas day or WTF would I eat?

xx Lektrogirl

August 16, 2008

CRAZY DAY


opp7, originally uploaded by carsick.

Today was all weird!

And I think that even the dog Coco upstairs is feeling it cause it won’t stop barking.

I was walking along the street today and saw this:

I was on my way to Archgate for the usual but ended up having a falafel instead – a big mistake I thought. Then when I got home, Alex T rang to tell me all about going to an Art gallery and the conversation ended with him promising to punch me in the stomach if I ever got pregnant by anyone which is a sweet relief cause I don’t think I could handle going to the dry cleaner and asking for one of those horrible coat hangers [they also ruin your clothes]drinking gin and eating green paw paw all in a hot bath. I think I would rather have Alex T punch me in the guts as hard as he can. I would even like it if he took a little run up. How that conversation happened I don’t know and on that note we rang off from one another and I went to Waitrose cause I’m cooking a lunch for a friend tomorrow. I hope it turns out good cause he is on a par with the food fascism. I am just as guilty. Though I can’t say what I am making now cause it is meant to be a surprise.


NOT the fire I am about to talk about.

On my way to Waitrose though, an old man scrunched up a piece of paper and set it alight and buried it in a huge pile of dry twigs outside someone’s apartment under an overhanging tree on Magdala Avenue. I just watched him do it. As the flames rose and started licking the tree I was on 999 straight away and calling telling them my story. The owners of the house came out in the meantime and threw some water and kicking the bush stamping out the fire. I went up to them and told them what I had seen the old dude do. He was still sitting at the bus stop watching what was going on. He started yelling that he didn’t do it. The guys from the house were calling him a fucking mental. The fire truck arrived. I needed to poo [sorry TMI!] so I went off to McDonald’s. Etc.

And speaking of weirdness! You’ll never guess who Japper’s fancies like mad!! HOUSE!!! She said he is totally DREAMY! And she said the reason she fancied him is cause he is like EXTREME XXCENSOREDXX. Fucking LOLZAPOLLOZA!! Really good one. I wonder if I have to XXCENSOREDXX more of that.

And in further weirdness, I had a Internet chat with a friend who was in an Internet café at a nudist beach where he was hanging out with his father and his father’s boyfriend. If I thought about it too much, I started tripping.

Anyway I hope you had a happy day everyone cause mine was pretty awesome in it’s own little way. I’m not going out tonight though I was going to go to that thing The Cardinal and Antoinette are going to – bugger what is it called?! Can’t remember.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. I hope you appreciated the nice Flickr finds I have exhibited for you too.

August 10, 2008

NOT MY IDEA




xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Pippa’s feet.

August 6, 2008

GIVE AND TAKE AWAY

I woke up this morning – finally – to receive the following in my Flickr mail. It has lest me feeling totally heartbroken. How can this be? A random message from a complete stranger.

——–

06/08/08

Dear L

I’m writing to apologise for my borderline obsessive compulsive accessing of your blog.

You must admit, images of good food and vicariously experiencing jolly japes in dirty London town are quite seductive, addictive and an acceptable displacement activity. London hasn’t looked so good since irritant released the I-sound 7” back in the day.

However, you do have a point and I feel that I may not be able to adequately explain to my senior management team that it is appropriate for me to look at post-modern images of plates of food and nightclub toilets.

In addition, it may not be the most effective use of my time at work.

Therefore, I guess it’s time for me to clean up my desktop.

Goodbye Diana Scheuemann!, farewell Russian tramp racing,! Bless! Bless! Lektrogirl…

a new life for me.

kind regards, A.

p.s. I don’t think that is my IP address, so please don’t send any horse’s heads to my co-workers!

——–

Without dwelling on this too much, I will drag myself to the Worker’s Cafe on Holloway Road for an omelette and coleslaw and then purchase the necessary dowelling to construct the makeshift stand for my new chromakey green roll. Mr Chips and I have a plan. The G.A. sent me another email this morning but only some sections are relevant if you didn’t read the mail I sent him. And there is also some personal information regarding my latest interests in men which I don’t feel like revealing. Pop’s and I chat about all shit. But here are some edited highlights:

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com]
Sent: 06 August 2008 07:03
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: sittin on me bum, bored to death on wed 7th August 2008. Needless to add, unusually quite elated.!

howdy shags, I already sent you a text about good news, Y.s. F.s No,I don’t give you the credit for an adult aged 16 years, Sometimes I think you must be about six! As you often print HA.HA. yOU WANKER. XXCENSOREDXX? Your comment about teaching young folk about dealing with the future is very relavent.(how’d ya spell ‘relevent?) Mind you even at my age it’soften hard to unravel the poxy governmental policies relating to any F.Thing.But then I always was a bit thick.
XXCENSOREDXX? Good show, mate.
I’m not exactly worried about you gettinng yourself up the duff. ai JUST WORRY THAT WE WOULDN’T BE THERE TO HELP YOU WHEN NECESSARY(FARK agen.Bleedin Caps LOck)
Any how you ain’t u.t.d, enciente, preggars, so w.t.f am I worrying about? S.F.A.
Time to abandon ship EH? Got a job to do fer meself. Since I am of royal Scottish blood, it’ll have ‘glitters’n it. and so sparkle in the water!
Luv from yer DADA. WtFis that? PA.

What am I gonna do when this old bastard croaks?

xx Lektrogirl

July 30, 2008

TIGHTS FETISH


IMG_3620, originally uploaded by zhanlan9.

There is someone every day now inviting me into their worlds by making favourite any picture I have on my Flickr of women’s legs and tights – most of which I take for just jokes. I DO NOT HAVE A NYLON TIGHT FETISH – anyone who knows me will know I only wear cotton rich Falke or Woolford tights through the cold months. But I don’t have a fetish about it!

Anyway today, zhanlan9 came into my life by making favourite one of my pics and I think they have to be the best pictures I have seen of any tight fetishist yet. They are full of such as mixture malaise which I think comes from the rooms disarray and ennui which comes from the model. I can only imagine what their sex life must be like. If only the pig on the door knob could tell it’s secrets!

And who said Asian* girls have no arse?

xx Lektrogirl

* I always make the same mistake I think cause in Australia we say Asian for Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Viet etc and Indian for India but here in the UK I don’t know wtf to say cause I know Asian means India / Pakistan etc… Someone sort me out.

March 3, 2008

Buy charles_bro_cool a Pro Account


About charles_bro_cool / Charles Brown

← Photos Send FlickrMail Buy charles_bro_cool a Pro Account

I am not really A complicated man to some . Im A hard worker , and I like making good money . But money is not everything , but it is A good access to A healthy life style . As long as it is earn honestly . But nothing beats the love of A good honest hard working woman , although in these times it may seem hard to believe that such A beautiful female really exists . I hold dear the faith an belief of GOD and his loving scripture when it comes to his females . I ask him to send me the best he has . But as we all know , no one is perfect . So I try to work with what he sends me . My faith is strong . There are so many beautiful ladies in this world. Who are each so beautiful in there own unique way . Its always fun , interesting , or sometimes wild, meeting A new person. I never find it dull.Although I’m shy and some what withdrawn. I do have A passionately wild and loving nature. Its all good, I just love to admire the female form. As for me , Im living my life in A comfortable fashion. I totally trust and believe in GODS holey scripture . GOD is all loving and understanding , so I feel good about it . No , Im not A whore monger . I like to deal with one lady at A time . Just want some one to love, and have them love me back. In my free time I do A little surfing on the web , mostly to check my E-Mail and to catch up with my friends . And maybe A little shopping . I have my own exercise machines at home so I can avoid those big smelly crowds at the gym . I also like spending time with my little dog OREO . He is not exactly the type of dog that I wanted . Really smaller then Im use to . But he was A birthday present . And he really grew on me . He left his little foot prints in my heart , so now he is apart of me . Im mostly A free spirited person . Who can be wild at times and there when you need me with A kind heart and A loving soul I have a great love and affection for all my family members. And I love them with an open heart and an open mind. The love I share with my family has taught me how to love and accept my friends and my loves with an open mind and heart. And this is good, as long as they accept me in the same way. And in the same rhythm I dont take no stuff off of losers & haters ether .

I’m Male and Single.

Chino, US

charles_bro_cool’s public groups

* Pantyhose
* Legs in Tights, Pantyhose, Stockings, … / 丝袜裤袜图集
* sexy pantyhose pictures

A bit more about charles_bro_cool…
Hometown: Inglewood
Occupation: Home Care Worker

Interests: I enjoy Bike Riding, Going to church, Reading A good book, Going to the movies, A healthy fetish for ladies who wear pantyhose and skirts or dresses, Road trips to the beach and other places. Dinner clubs, dancing, good conversation. I’m not much of A drinker, but I may have one with the right person and some good conversation.

Favorite Movies, Stars & Directors: Drunken Master 2 [1994] / Psycho [1960] / Pulp Fiction [1994] / Batman Begins [2005] / King Kong [2005] / The 40 year old virgin [2005] / The Craft / The Return of the Pink Panther / Richard Pryor- Here and now / MASH / And so on

January 23, 2008

FLICKR DOCUMENTS ART

Because two gas men came to inspect all the gas fittings in the house for the landlord I was interrupted in my trail searching Flickr and now I can’t remember how I got here. But check out the great signs for health that have been documented by Elishacookjr. AMAZING.

I love those kinds of posters. These particular ones remind me of a hairdresser in Zurich [that used to be on the same street as "Clit Care" the lesbian sex shop] with a sign outside with all the different kinds of hair styles painted on a board just like this with a number next to them all so you could ask for the different braids and fades. I know, Zurich doesn’t sound really afrocentric does it?

Another odd place to find this kind of signage is in the stairwell of a squat in Dresden. The pictue of the blue one is a bit shit but Lu was starting to get a bit annoyed with me for stopping to take pictures of everything.


This dude looks like he is washing his hands in porridge with radioactive poos on his shirt.

I think that generally there should be more of this posters even here in London. They really are good to tek we yuself and help you avoid diseases that put u onnu bad mind.

xx Lektrogirl

January 14, 2008

MY SECOND OBSESSION

First bras and now my interest in Javier Bardem grows:


Penelope Cruz! How could he… TOM CRUISE’S SLOPPY SECONDS?

Here we have the real life Javier Badem and Penelope Cruz:

It is Ramiro and his babe girlf Sandra.

WARNING: OVER 18’s ONLY and NOT MY PARENTS

Also, adam_roll2000 has been favouriting my photos.

He is definitely not shy.

Let’s check some of Adam’s other favourites in my new online exhibition called “ADAM’S FAVOURITES”:

I really love Flickr and other people’s pictures that you can spy on.

xx Lektrogirl

January 3, 2008

WE ATE IT

Today I started a Flickr Group called WE ATE IT which you can see here flickr.com/groups/weateit. Given the nature of the shit that has happened on my blog recently it is sadly not an open group and you can join by invitation only. But if you want to join, let me know and I’ll invite you no worries.

Basically, my new group is to feed something other than my appetite – it’s my obsession with plate photography. I’m not the only one that does this. Some people I’ve inspired and others already had the piglet in them!

Look at this beautiful cake from Bok Bok


And this from Rat Boy David Robertson. I have to say that this looks fucking disgusting. I can see he has had a drink of his coke and hasn’t touched anything else yet…


Here are a couple of personal favourites from my collection – which dominates the group at the moment but I’ve invited plenty and I hope they all find time to upload their foodaholic photos.

I went into the West End this arvo and saw Cardinal and we had a looooong afternoon tea at the Heals Meals cafe. The service was absolutely appauling and Philippa was right when she said that they should have made it more like Alice in Wonderland in there. Unfortunately, it was the second time I had been there and the service really was rubbish then too. But the cakes we had tonight were pretty good. I gave Philippa a bottle of Apple Liqueur from the Lark Distillery in Tasmania for Souvenir / Late Birthday present and a Tasmanian Devil oven mit. She liked them both and I was very pleased. The day I visited the Lark Distillery it was really fun. Mum nearly fell down a stair there which was pretty funny and it was 10.30am and the girl serving us was really helpful and wrote out loads of recipies for me to give to Philippa. Then the girl gave me a shot of Bush Liqueur which I really wasn’t sure about cause I hadn’t eaten any breakfast yet – but I have to tell you that this stuff was pretty amazing on an empty stomach. In fact it felt great! Check out the distillery here.

Then I saw Abbie and Lee who were talking about moving to Germany because one of them may have a job there. I felt much happier coming home today than I did when I set out. But fuck me it’s freezing.

For the rest of the evening I am going to spend researching tiles and water pressure guauges to see how many bars my water pressure is to get the right shower fitting for my house. I am really nervous about starting work on Monday – there is a lot going on and my job role changed a bit before I left for my holiday last year.

And I worked out my New Years Resolution [Abbie's is to be Pescetarian to cut down on Global Warming] – I am going to make my house nice while there is no-one here to mess it up but me!

xx Lektrogirl

December 27, 2007

A SWISS VILLAGE IN TASMANIA

That is right – I’m not on crack – or even opium or whatever it is they grow in fields legally around here. There is a Swiss Village in the north of the state that was build by Ralf Voss, who used to own a ‘huge’ [relatively] chain of supermarkets here in Tasmania. It is called Grindlewald and I even bought the cap!


We all played Krazy Golf and it was great fun until about the 10th hole and two of the kids had a screaming fit and had to be carried off to the swings by their mother. The rest of us continued. OMG – I’m getting a bit tired of the screaming – but the golf was so much fun! It was seriously sunny today and my sister forced me to use sunscreen. I was loving it! I wanted to frazzle myself.


We went to the beach the day before – Boxing Day – for a friendly game of cricket. It was sunny and probably about 19 or 20 degrees but we were all complaining about how cold it was. I even had to resort to wearing a beanie back at the shack for extra warmth – I turned a Sonia Rykiel hat into a total bogan steelo! Uneblieveable but true!! CIO!!


I’m so sorry Pippa. I will never post this on the Maison B site.


Apparently someone or other sucked good cock down at the beach too.


Amd meet my sister Sara. She is the toughest bitch on the planet. She is amazing. I love her. She used to do stuff when we were little like get a big black marker pen and write MY name all over the furniture then Mum would see it and I would get into trouble for it cause Mum would say “Your sister is too little to think of something as clever as that.”

I spent the rest of today watching Law and Order: Special victions Unit – Antoine Mitchell from The Shield was in it AS A COP which was really disturbing cause I’m so used to him being a really amazing thug. At least though he wasn’t a new token black person and Ice T was still in it. I would have been gutted if in the future [which is of course timewise where I am] when I get back to London Ice T isn’t in SVU any more. I also had access to the internet properly so I have gone back and illustrated the previous few days posts freshly uploaded Flickr pics. I surfed eBay for a while for my usual searches – grannie dress, granny jewellery and old medical charts. THEN THE ROBOJAM CHAMPIONSHIPS WERE ON AGAIN. Maggot did a great job again, though no cigar. Booga cleaned up yet again!

xx Lektrogirl

November 17, 2007

GROSS FLICKR PORN

I just love it when you stumble across someone’s page of gross Flickr porn.

Check here for more pictures like this [but worse - not for work or while babysitting] and get it while it lasts!

MUM – PERSONAL WARNING TO YOU – DON’T LOOK. IT’S GROSS. Really ugly muschi.

However, i think this picture is genuinely quite beautiful.

xx Lektrogirl

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