Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

November 1, 2010

LIFE MAKES SENSE FOR A MOMENT

September 14, 2010

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB #43

From: John Davidson
To: Emma Davidson
Date: 14 Sep ‘10 04:06
Subject: FW: For you and your nephew

my brain is devoid of interesting things to 1-think about, 2, also has no desire to evoke the interest of the locals here, who, unfortunately have been ‘dumped’ by their families for the arrival of the inevitablr beckoning finger of Death, MY NEXT APPEALING, RIVETTING, ATTENTION  ‘GOOD READ’ called waiting to die!
Any how, mad Pat A Scottish widow sends me such crap I thoUght I ought let you and Hoby have a read to see the educated bollocks the AGED, use to communicate. Thank you for your Text from your mates place in a France.’ HOW’S THE LOVE LIFE? never PUT UP WITH SCOND BEST KID. aDVICE FROM AN AGED LOSER.  Speaking of which yer ma shot through to Devonport for school hols. No texts etc so I can ‘t tell how she’s going? Mind you it’s been pissing with rain!!!!   Hard ordure if you can’t take a joke,
hOW’S ME TWO FRIENDS The last of a lifetime of misadventure, etc,etc. Cheers BEFORE SOMEBODY POKES ME IN THE BACK—IF their game luv yer DadXXXXXX

April 19, 2010

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FANCLUB #36

From: XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com
To: XXCENSOREDXX
Subject: Brain MEAT? pIOTTA!
Date: Mon, 19 Apr 2010 11:26:56 +1030

Brain meat? Farkin cannabul’?ible? bal? I think it should be cannible? but it’s a long time since I nibbled at a bit of human meat!
Strange yor mother liked lamb’s brains. Eating her own I used to tease her. At least you may be Australian but you can’t blame Tasmania on it?. The more you tell me of EUROPE, loNDON PARTICULARLY the more Iam convinced IV’e wasted a good 60 years of my life, except siring you’se two. At least you and feral? I hasten to add feral is not thresult of a dalliance of mine with Cat Woman. Couldn’t stand the furry tail swishing around the place.
Wish that bloody volcano would go awy. Might be months before they will allow flights out of Londinium?. I’LL BE IN ME 86TH YEAR.Ow old can you get/ Cheers little mate, and give feral a poke in the furry place from me. Luv wx yer Old pot an pan.XXXXDad
Keeps on telling me to se4nd again to overcomespammers. so you may get it 10 times or more,

March 26, 2010

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #32

>  ——-Original Message——-
>  From: John Davidson <XXCENSOREDXX@hotmail.com>
>  To: Emma Davidson <XXCENSOREDXX>
>  Subject: RE: The pics you have all been waiting for
>  Sent: 26 Mar ‘10 03:01
>
>  How do you get your comp to print in blue. this one always prints black/
>  Just found your bosses email address, pure arse. Wehad tinned rasps in cold
>  carton custard, bloody terrible, so I thought to lookover some of your
>  creations to brighten my tastebuds/thoughts up a bit, and there was
>  your bosses Email! Fark
>  YER MOTHER SEEMSTO HAVE DISAPPEARED INTO THE BLUE, She only lives a cats
>  piss away but Aint seem her for a week. Still I rememberwhen I used to
>  visit her father, which evebtually became so hideously boring. the old man
>  snoring in his cair at 9a.m. in the morningand dribbling long greasyones
>  from his lips and snout. Fark old age is so unsjghtly. I only visited him
>  to pay him 25 shillings per week to be allowedto drive and upkeep his
>  Meteor car. I HADn’t the with to chargehim gararing fees,etc. I never liked
>  the old crunt so I am feeling that it is only fair to Rose I should allow
>  her the freedom to not come and waste her valuable Death notice searching
>  and weeding ‘our’ garden. Bollox ‘n’fark. Cheers to my two friends. Ihope
>  you check the freezer regularly?

March 11, 2010

NOT DYING NOT SO BAD

Well I failed at suicide the last two days – mainly because I was too exhausted throwing my teary self into bed, crying more, wanting to die, thinking about Hobart on her own, crying more and hating the prospect of having to live because I am so in love with my cat but feeling nothing but emptiness inside.

On the other hand it turns out to be not such a bad thing as some drinks at The Haggerston with Tsouni who says ‘HOW ARRRE YOUUUUEWWW?!’ like a regular American its pretty cute and P-Dogg & J-Dogg. Tsouni; Eli & I had some really amazing graphic conversations about strip search, cervix exams, worm, armpits, anuses, dreadlocks etc. So captivating! I wish I could blog the images in my mind while we had that conversation. I was in heaven. Does heaven have a capital H?

I came home and the cat who is a recently confirmed pescatarian – who ate a saucer of rocket last night if you please – left the most pungent malodourous turd in her litter tray ever. She’s staying on the straight craquette diet and thats it.

Xx lektrogirl

May 18, 2009

AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING?

bathroom

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