Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

March 7, 2010

CHATROULETTE

The internet phenomenon and TOTALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

xx Lektrogirl

December 5, 2009

JUJU

And no I don’t mean the Champagne bar in Chelsea.

So, The Cardinal gave me the fabulous book Nollywood by Pieter Hugo. I love all the pictures of the women and witches and demons. I know how they all feel! Redwine and peanut sick dreadlock anyone?

SATURDAY! I spent quite a while reading other birthday presents from last week scoffing nougat and waiting for my cleaner to be 2.5 hours late which is long, even by her standards. I did call her to find out what was up and she was having a fight with her flatmates who all had electric heaters in their rooms and not admitting it so she was paying more than her share of electricity. The landlord came for a big meeting so big trouble in little Ghana.

Through the course of the day, I decided the best use for my completely luxurious and useless new Luella notebook calf skin bound and embossed with a mushroom, would be to jot down some of Dora’s comments about life. And today I was laughing with tears in my eyes about Elizabeth the other white clear she knew that was so fat she has no shape and so she told her and Elizabeth complained to the supervisor but no-one cared, the old lady who had a stroke and the Jamaican threw away her walking frame and how Jews [the חסיד ones] wear shoes that are so bad that if you throw one, not even a dog would touch it.

xx Lektrogirl

August 10, 2009

LAST POST FOR TODAY

Chris Rock on Rap Music

xx Lektrogirl

January 10, 2009

THIS IS WHY IM LATE

I saw this Cardinal and now I’m late. But I had a good laugh. And you probably just had another glass of wine without me. See you in a minute. The canelles were a fucking disaster. New oven needed. They were perfect on the outside, raw in the middle like omelette.

xx Lektrogirl

January 3, 2009

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

I have had the Commander on the case. An email arrived this morning.

# # # # # # # # #

Hello Emma, He was wearing brown Blundstones. I’ve spent hours trying to find info all I’ve come up with is XXCENSOREDXX (if you want a laugh look up XXCENSOREDXX or XXCENSOREDXX on my space) and his father who sponsored a rally car in Tas. I thought I might phone the shop in Sydney that sell his guitars and say I want to interview him for something? so I can at least find out which state he lives in. (I need to work on the story more) why is he so elusive, has he become a shut in like me? the tan says no.** Hobart night life is all spray tan, choppy haircuts, knife fights and serious binge drinking, there were photos going around last year called the bottle girl-yes she did put it there and she was proud of it. Funny you mention XXCENSOREDXX when they had to leave the last restaurant the other shops around them had Champagne to celebrate.

# # # # # # # # #

Hmmm… no closer to discovering the whereabouts of a certain someone BUT some tentative plans in place. The last brilliant piece of news I got from the Commander was when Myers in Hobart was on fire and the new MAC counter melted flat as a pancake. That was a while ago now.

xx Lektrogirl

** Am very impressed with this deduction.

OH GOD and some elected themselves the love of my life not so long ago in the heat of an argument and it was one of the statements that burst into the room like a balloon of pink fairy floss fantasy so insane and bizarre – like a cat in a volvo dropping by to deliver Easter eggs wearing a false moustache – I could only laugh and laugh [you know one of those snorty chokey hilarity ones] and take great satisfaction in saying “Errrr and what planet are you living on?” and realise that the whole argument was mute. The guy was seriously deluded.

November 17, 2008

DANCE FAIL

OMG why didn’t I think of looking this up before?

FAIL WEBSITE

xx Lektrogirl

COMIC BAKERY

Oh yeah and I wanted to mention this site cakefarts.com that Manara sent me this morning.

That one is for you Mum.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. And I got my period about 15 minutes ago. How can I tell one of my best friends I got all worked up and had a ‘talk’ then deleted him all over some fucking PMT without looking like some EMO loser?! I guess I will wait a couple weeks and make up some other excuse… God. >>>!!HH!!MM!!LL<<<

November 15, 2008

CHOKING LAUGHING

If I ever feel sad again I know who’s video to watch.

xx Lektrogirl

TEENAGE LIFE

OMG lolled me out. “Hello… I’m in my room… where u at?”

September 8, 2008

DROP THAT ASS


Hydraulic Style – DJ Nasty

Listen to the counter melody? Or does it count as a melody? Or just a synth line? It’s so beautiful! And while you are dropping that ass to the ground – which is something people can do with all ass sizes – we don’t have to be all bootylicious about this – why not check to see who got kicked to the curb lately? It might just surprise you!

I actually untagged this picture of myself on Facebook. I don’t know why I bothered cause I have a totally private profile. I regret untagging it now. Because you know me – Mrs. No Secrets. The last time I was in the Glasshouse was years ago with Nick Phillips / Noodles drinking Ayingerbrau [a.k.a. The Angry Brew] Rail slide down a tube station bench on my shoulder [how I did that I will never know] and throwing up all night bright orange vomit until Noodle’s flatmates thought I was gonna lose a liver. Speaking of Noodles, I saw ANDREW HARTWELL of all people at PIZZA the other night. AND BDL walked past while our whole table got a glacial vibe shower from his girlfriend. AND FOUL PLAY FOWLER. The shame. That hadn’t happened to me since about 1999 when Karl Hutchinson, Chris Chang Towers, Dan Moss and someone else – probably Smiler all rolled into The Bricklayers Arms AND SAT AT THE SAME TABLE. I was there with The Witch at the time choking on my pint. See how much I have changed? I would down pints back then with a full face of make-up with a severe bob and Prada shoes.

I’m off to have more of a living room disco chill out and max out those dance vibes. So much fun.

xx Lektrogirl

August 11, 2008

SO MY LOVE LIFE

ROTFLOL

xx Lektrogirl

August 1, 2008

BAR OF SOAP

It has been so embarrassing today. Every time someone comes in over 50 a really filthy song comes on my iPod. Today it was Bone Thugs “I’m too sexy for my mother fucking self and I’m going to fuck her in the ass as well” n Harmony. It was creepy like when a pervy sex scene comes on the TV when you are watching telly with your parents. Then I have to kind of creep round all casual and move onto the next song without looking like I’m doing anything suspicious. Cause then the next song will be something like Pussy Popping of course… My iPod needs washing out with a bar of soap.

But speaking of embarrassing, def not as embarrassing as that video that the two kids made above.

“Added: April 11, 2008 (Less info)
Just a video me and my cousin did…randomly. We’re actually black.

We’re WAYYY blacker than any of you bitches
Category: Music
Tags: Ecstasy rolling extacy ecstacy ex pills mdma bone thugs harmony music video rap black people white god drugs funny “

Errrr…

I remember watching movies at home on VHS like Tougher Than Leather, Beat Street or New Jack City and Dad trying to sit in on the movies and watching too but he would always give up in disgust cause he couldn’t understand how all the black people were talking in the movies completely dumbfounded as to how my sister and I could follow what was going on.

xx Lektrogirl

July 29, 2008

ONE FOR MANARA

xx Lektrogirl

July 24, 2008

I HURT PHIL

I hurt his feelings. It was a mistake. I can see that. I see his passion and his pain. Both of those things start with P. So does his name. But Philip sounds more like it starts with an F.

And today I am in the Shop sitting in the cool basement with my shoes off and feet up on a stool listening to ABBA sung in Swedish in a shirt I bought last summer and never wore and I went looking for some sandals this morning and couldn’t find them and found the shirt instead. I had already changed three times but still didn’t feel right but I found the shirt and my life just fell into place. I wonder if I can work Max’s laptop to make a video like Mr Chips did? I hesitate only because I worry I will end up looking like I have an double chin.

xx Lektrogirl

July 16, 2008

SO EMO RIGHT NOW

Jo Apps sang this tonight at Hot Breath Karaoke at my request. It started something deep inside of me. Which revved like an engine fuelled by double Frangelico’s [my own plus the ones for Mr Chips cause he didn't like his mixed with coke] and the 2-4-1 Cocktails. I fucking changed gear by the end of the night when this came on:

And by the time I got home, Mr Chips has told me to “Fuck Off” and I was sobbing down the phone to The Twin “Ohhh my God I don’t know what I am going to do!! His eyes are too close together!!!”

Already my hangover is starting to knock on my door. I am by no means sleepy after sleeping all day and not being able to sleep all night from coughing the last few nights.

Perhaps I should take the advice of the The Twin and just go to bed…

xx Lektrogirl

[P.S. this is sounding pretty tragic isn't it?! OJ LOL]

OMG and on a random note – Denzel Washington! I feel just like him when he is an alcoholic in that great movie – fuck what was it called?! I can’t remember but I wrote about it before on my blog. I watched it with Seb in Hamburg. It was INCREDIBLE.

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