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October 22, 2009

A PROPER UP-NON-DATE

On the night of the non-date I will take the time to write something for a change, instead of one liners or blogging a picture or something something from somewhere.

Can someone tell me what happened? I don’t know what happened. I think I was a Throwawayfuck all because I was too much tough talking – but maybe I was just a Throwawayfuck – but I don’t know.

It was all because of a pair of shoes in TOPSHOP. I tried them on. I kind of wanted them. But did I really? – no I didn’t = because I wouldn’t have thrown them down on my way to the till to buy them the first night. The following evening I went back WANTING THEM. They were blue and suede with heels and nice enough. A second before I requested my size, two teens had asked for them. There was only one pair. They sat there nursing them while the better looking one of the two tried on two sequinned gold jackets. Both jackets were horrible and looked cheap and looked really really horrible. I sat quiet and WAITED for this shoes. They were cradling the box, they were petting it. They hadn’t even tried them on. I just wanted them. I left in the end totally frustrated thinking “WHY OH WHY AND WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?!” Because the night I had tried on the shoes and rejected them I had been to the pub and the guy that worked there told me his girlfriend had moved out kind of randomly. I had wanted to go out on a date with this guy for the longest time.

Anyway – I just had to cut myself short there. I asked this guy out. We had a great time for about a week.

Then I had a really horrible time.

Now I am having no time.

And most of all I ask myself the question “What the fuck were you doing in TOPSHOP anyway?” It turned me into a Throwawayfuck.

But see how I didn’t really want the shoes?
The man kissed like the only other Italian I kissed – straight tongue and used it like a dribbley sword. Not that hot. It improved.

As you can see, this is probably why I haven’t written so much on my blog lately. My brain in like alphabet soup.

SOME GOOD THINGS COMING UP THOUGH: Parisian visitors BOOYAH!!! Maybe I go to Nantes again!!! Going to Australia in March 10 via Singapore WOOHOO!!!

Which will all go to heal the shame of being a Throwawayfuck all for the sake of a pair of TOPSHOP shoes. Bwwwaaarrrfghhh.

xx Lektrogirl

June 22, 2009

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

shit

What a life!

November 16, 2008

WHEN IS THERE A DRY SPELL?

I walked back from dinner and he said “Some people are just destined to spend their lives single.” I was laughing and crying with snot and tears down my face I begged him to stop and he said that it was just how it is sometimes. I couldn’t even walk any more and cried and said “This year has been so so horrible. Please stop. I can’t bare it.” And kept laughing too. Someone else said I was emotionally incontinent.

My mother called and told me she had read my blog the other day. Before she went on I had to hold the phone away from my ear and shout “No no no please don’t tell me you’ve read it. You can read it if you want but I don’t want to hear what you have to say about it.” Which turned into a big conversation about how on evening at the dinner table she sat their with my sister quoting sections of my diary they found back to me with great hysterics between the two. I was so ashamed. I wanted to die. So it must come as no great surprise then that after that my boundaries on public and private are totally fucked.

I heard some great gossip stories this weekend. I was really laughing hard. I also found some BRILLIANT material for the Sex Attack video.

August 13, 2008

HOUSEWORK

At my new job I have been TCB – [learnt this from Bok Bok via Manara - Take Care of Business.] Basically, getting stuck into some long overdue paperwork house keeping so that I can get cracking with my job properly. So sorting, filing, researching, asking questions, updating computers etc etc. The people I work with are super nice and couldn’t be more helpful – but for those of you who read my blog who have ever had a job [so that would be 90% the girls, 30% of guys who have had 'real jobs' 30% of guys who have kind of had 'pretend jobs' that were just like DJing for cash or something but it still counts - the left over girls and 40% men you won't get this] – you will understand that a new job is always A LOT; Working out if you wore the right thing, who will be your allies, how everyone has their tea, how long you can talk on the phone without looking like a slacker, can you install Miranda/Trillion etc… S.T.R.E.S.S. And of course, overcoming my Internet addiction and having to drink cows milk for the time being out of an ugly cup. [How long can I leave it before I can bring in my own china teacup for plunger coffee without everyone thinking I'm a tosser but thinking I'm cool and quirky? YGM?]

So the following song, Let There Be House, is dedicate to me and my new job.

This song also holds some very deep connections to my life back in Tasmania. When this record first came out, I bought the 12″ and went totally nuts listening to it over and over and dancing all the stresses of my life out in the hallway on Mum’s new carpet. I was in year 11 or 12 – so 16 or 17. I was the bane of Mum’s life – because the carpet was so new and woolly, one dance session would kick up all the new fluff of the wool – virtually tumble weave – that she would go round clucking and picking up spluttering at me “Stop It!! You are kicking up all the carpet!! You will dance a hole in the carpet!!”

Listening to this song again now is a really great de-stress session for me. On top of the new job and the heartbreak over the Chanel lipstick really not being up to scratch, I had a fucking shit start to the week over really weird weird stuff that has also been on my mind. I just feel so much is in the bin right now – more like hard knocks from other people’s misplaced weirdness – and like my astrology said today – ‘just let it be like water off a duck’s back’ which is true, but when I’m super stressed/tired about a new job its hard. I went out to dinner with Max tonight and he asked me about all my woes [I cried in China Town - AGAIN! - FFS!! I really must be hitting menopause!!] and it was so nice to be sitting with one of my oldest bestest craziest friend ‘chewing the fat’.

Something to look forward too though! I am going to Nantes to see Puyo Puyo and Eva on the 18th October for a gig there. WOOHOO. I don’t know who else is playing but I am sure it will be excellent. I haven’t seen them since I met them in Liege – the same night I met Lu and Bernd from Mash Gordon. FUCK ME!! THAT WAS A PARTY!! Yerrr…

August 10, 2008

NOT MY IDEA




xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Pippa’s feet.

July 21, 2008

YERRR REALLY HIDEOUS

It is no secret – I have been really vile lately. To everyone. To myself. To one person in particular who I think the world of and I have been a TOTAL loser. To other people who I have met along the way and really wasn’t thinking clearly. I can’t scrub any of that out. I wish I could. But I’m so like Cher on a warship right now you’d be like confused as to who was who. You Get Me?

So what changed? Well having someone unhappy with me really wasn’t a good look. But waking up and feeling homesick and hung over and dreading another day unfolding. It felt like a long time ago. I really thought those days were far behind me. The turning point came when Fambles came over and watched TV with me. I did nothing but lie there while Fambles watched some show about the pilgrimage to Mecca. We didn’t speak. Then today was the cure: I got the opportunity to have a big cry in an office with a man I just met [I don't know why - I always find men easier to talk to, especially strangers] and then I scooted off into town to meet Fambles again and go shopping. It was so good to have some serious old jokes times on a spiritual level.

*******
I just tried to explain two of the best jokes from the day and one involved preferring to get AIDS than have unprotected sex and the other about a guy with a camo backpack who walked past us. Neither joke translates at all.
*******

So yeah, the storm is over for now. I’ve been a dick. I was totally why u onnu bad mind? Like totally getting your period in a posh pair of expensive knickers. The worst. [This did not actually happen - it was an allegory: i.e. ON A PAR]

xx Lektrogirl

July 16, 2008

SO EMO RIGHT NOW

Jo Apps sang this tonight at Hot Breath Karaoke at my request. It started something deep inside of me. Which revved like an engine fuelled by double Frangelico’s [my own plus the ones for Mr Chips cause he didn't like his mixed with coke] and the 2-4-1 Cocktails. I fucking changed gear by the end of the night when this came on:

And by the time I got home, Mr Chips has told me to “Fuck Off” and I was sobbing down the phone to The Twin “Ohhh my God I don’t know what I am going to do!! His eyes are too close together!!!”

Already my hangover is starting to knock on my door. I am by no means sleepy after sleeping all day and not being able to sleep all night from coughing the last few nights.

Perhaps I should take the advice of the The Twin and just go to bed…

xx Lektrogirl

[P.S. this is sounding pretty tragic isn't it?! OJ LOL]

OMG and on a random note – Denzel Washington! I feel just like him when he is an alcoholic in that great movie – fuck what was it called?! I can’t remember but I wrote about it before on my blog. I watched it with Seb in Hamburg. It was INCREDIBLE.

May 9, 2008

I ALWAYS HATED CRYSTAL CASTLES

They always seemed really fake. And now I know why:

Lo-bat. is a really good friend of mine – he was even at my wedding with his girlfriend Wendy. Probably, if he had been asked he would have been up for any kind of collaboration or his music being used. A shame he didn’t even get the chance.

What I don’t get is why musicians do this – rip someone off so blatantly and think they aren’t gonna get found out. There was some other Scandiavian twats who did the same thing recently too. I can’t think who they were…

Anyway – if you want to hear the tracks that Crystal Castles have ripped off and ignored the Creative Commons license that they were distributed with, check Lo-bat.’s website. WARNING – complete chip musician nerd zone… LOL… Actually before I say that, Wauter [Lo-bat.] is a classically trained guitarist at some amazing school in Belgium AND a brilliant cartoonist.

xx Lektrogirl

April 22, 2008

SQUATLIFE

SQUATLIFE – Trailer

From the Chelmsford Film Society.

xx Lektrogirl

January 21, 2008

INTERNET PRANK CALLER

Check out the Internet prank caller. He sits at home all day on the internet cause he’s got nothing to do.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. Thanks Japps

TRAINING DAY

I FINALLY got to see Training Day that Jo “To Pimping!” Mitchell has been going on about for so long. It stars Denzel Washington [I have a minor obsession with his acting ability], Ethan Hawke [I fucking HATE him] SNOOP DOGG as a wheelchair bound crack dealer and Dr Dre as a rogue cop [a bit like Ice T in Law and Order only scarey.]


If you don’t believe me about Snoop Dogg, start watching about 5 minutes in – I nearly cried laughing. Sadly I promised Carrie that she could have Snoop and I would stick with R Kelly yesterday in Jerk City but it was kind of a fake promise – I was secretly thinking “Yeah I will say it here for arguments sake but deep down we know Snoop is mine.” So sorry Carrie. I lied in the name of love.

Other people being fake in town have got found out big time tho’. XXCENSOREDXX got caught out telling XXCENSOREDXX one thing and then telling XXCENSOREDXX something so different it’s laughable. I have screen grabs of both conversations where XXCENSOREDXX tells the story and the poor quality lying is just embarrassing. LOSER.

But back to Denzel Washingtons and his acting ability. If it wasn’t for the poor acting of Ethan Hawke and his jarring appearance every time he was on screen I could have been lead to believe that this was a real life portrayal of the ghetto so convincing was Denzel. He continued to employ his stiff neck head bobbing thing that Bill Cosby also uses to great effect when making a serious point. The midnight murderers who played their roles with balaclavas and big black van were neither predictable or an overused archetype in a Hollywood movie. They way Denzel’s body convulsed as he was being riddled with bullets from automatic weapons what definitely watching the whole movie for.

I would have loved to watch the movie the whole way through in Spanish:

I was talking Jo Apps last night who is in Philadelphia and loving it I understand. We discussed the public physical fight between two men in Fabric the other night. As Jo Apps said “What is London coming to with all this violence going on? Everyone is going to be running round with guns come picnic season!” I have to say that I have witnessed the harsh reality of how life could be when watching Training Day if everyone doesn’t take a step back and a deep breath. If you haven’t seen it already I implore you to watch Training Day, the “Cool and exciting” and “Cracking cop drama… refreshing to see a thriller worthy of the label” for which Denzel Washington received an Acadamy Award in 2001 for his Leading Role for some home truths and watch Good triumph over Evil.

xx Lektrogirl

December 29, 2007

WOE IS ME


It is the last night I spend here in Tasmania and while I hear tales of fisticuffs at the residences’ of gentlemen back in London, things have turned sour here too. I accidently slammed my nephews head the the car door in the Kmart car park. It was a stinking day with hot winds and everyone had hot tempers and Sam and I both ended up crying. Me for much longer on a bench outside my sisters house in the wind with tears streaming down my face all about everything and nothing.


Also my exbroken leg from the car accident has been aching all day like crazy. I knew it was gonna rain and it has just started now. It is so weird how that happens.


Today on the way to the raspberry farm, we drove past dozens of poppy fields. Pharmaceutical companies grow them here just in open fields it is a huge business for Tasmania but it is all a huge illegal drug industry too. Each district has a 4 person Poppy Patrol to patrol the fields. How this is effective I don’t know because the fields grow right up to the side of the road and are open access to anyone with signs saying “Entry prohibited” and there are loads of fields everywhere. (Mind you – the youth detention centre only just got a real security fence put round it recently when they got sick of kids escaping. Again – highway right nearby. Big scandal recently was staff at the centre were n big trouble for downloading porn onto computers at their workstations. Anyway…) So back to the Poppies. I asked my brothewr in law about the Poppies cause he used to patrol it and he said that people stole crops all the time. But now dummy crops are now mixed in with real crops so that if they are stolen, processed and used the same way as the real stuff in fact the dummy crop will be fatal – you will die. Amazing! Also co-incidentally today we say my B-I-L on patrol at the scene of a major accident and waved to him from the car on the way to the raspberry farm. Some car had decided to do a u-turn in the highway and some other car jack knifed it and there road was blocked and there was a hugh smash up. No-one died though. That would have been gross.

xx Lektrogirl

October 13, 2007

GIVE A GIRL A BREAK

So she might be looking more Xtina these days and didn’t do such a great job performing ‘live’ [the look on 50 Cents face is worth far more than his name in the video of that event] but I still love Britney.

October 6, 2007

THE CLAP

One thing I love about not living with Brains any more is that he always used to clap really loud when he walked in to the room when I was DJing at home. I never got why he did that.

xx Lektrogirl

August 19, 2007

SUNDAY NOT FUN DAY

HOT CHOCOLATE: Emma

Spoke with Mum this morning and was telling her the latest with Nameless: All about this girl who he has been hanging out with. Apparently he told her “Emma thinks you hate her.” Do you HATE it when people do that? Particularly as Nameless is prone to do – get the whole thing arse about face – seeing as I actually hate this girl myself as Nameless has been telling me all about how he thinks that this girl might be flirting with him, and he isn’t actually particularly interested in ACTUALLY her, but to have sex with someone would be nice. I totally freaked out, completely heartbroken and cried for two days. My poor mother listened to the who boring story and then said “Emma, Nameless is a loser. I don’t know why you don’t just shut the door in his face and let him ruin his own life, instead of yours.” Having said that I know that Mutts actually likes Nameless too. But she does think he is a loser. Hahaha. I told her that she is right, but I don’t have anyone else to fix my wireless network when it’s down so to cut him out totally would be a mistake. She said “I see your point.”

In more jolly news, I went out with Brains, Philippa and James last night to Bar Du Marche for dinner. I had worked for Max in the office doing his personal accounts which was fun – we had lunch at the New Piccadilly and cunted a few people out while we worked. Then after finishing early, I went and hooked up with Philippa and James, had a glass of the WAG’s curse Rosé and we waited for Brains who had been hanging out with DJ Magic. Brains said Hi and gave a massive grin. His teeth were FULL of black shit – he had been talking all afternoon with Jerk Chicken between his teeth to DJ Magic. All night Brains was telling me “I’ve got Jammer’s number – why don’t you ring him?”

I can’t decide from dinner which picture is funnier. They both crack me up equally:

Dinner was really nice and plenty of jokes all round. I even told the story of getting hit by a car.

SISTERS OF MERCY: Emma

So what’s with all the Emma videos? At work, Roxy plays Roxanne a lot and we sing it to her [with our own lyrics] but we also have all being trying to think up songs for all the other names of the girls in our office. We need a Jo, Jess, Cissi, Kellie, Alice, Katharine and Emma is definitely covered thanks.

And on my final note right now – Nameless, please don’t make me have to roll up to the Old Blue Last one night in a blonde wig and glitter shoes to sing this at someone:

xx Lektrogirl

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