Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

June 1, 2010


This internet dating thing is pretty constipated. The ones you don’t like make it so excruciating. The ones you do like have a profile but send “one liners” like “I don’t have a subscription yet. I will message you when I do.” I’m so pissed off I feel like going to Paris for the weekend at the exorbitant price of £309 and sleeping on at bench at the side of the canal – and I can take my patchwork quilt I’m working on with me.

Ergh, Hobart farted. If I didn’t want to die before I sure do now.

August 31, 2009


It is fucking weird to have someone steal your love life and have the suppositions made be so inaccurate. It is like listening to Mad Max dubbed into Japanese – which I did when I was in Tokyo in 1995. It is like eating something blue and have it taste like strawberry.

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