Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

July 19, 2009

do what i say and i might forgive you

Melon Fuck
Melon Spooge
Melon Anus

That’s what you get for being a cock.

July 18, 2009

GET UP OFF THE FLOOR

Beheading

If you beg it makes me want to cut your head off.

July 17, 2009

SO ANGRY

I wouldn’t even waste my time with a gun like Valeria in her dream. You have made me so fucking mad that  I would have done it beating you with my fists. And when I kicked you, you really flew quite a way across the floor! If it had been a TV show I would have laughed. But because it was real life, it made me even more angry and I wanted to hit you even harder.

Then, like I often do after we have sex, I cried and cried and cried.

May 23, 2009

FIRST

The FIrst Time

May 18, 2009

BUT WHY

cutoffhishands

Today the judge somewhere hit his gavel and decreed a divorce. Somewhere this judge with a gavel was talking about my divorce. Somewhere some part of me came out of my own stomach. Somewhere I swallowed an ocean. Somewhere I tried. And somewhere I ultimately failed.

May 12, 2009

OUR SEX LIFE

Ta-Dah! I have an announcement to make.

Valeria and I have been working on a new development called:

OUR SEX LIFE

We decided that lameatnames.com was going very well, but to be fair to all the people we had collected, we should be also posting ourselves online. As well as creating instead of just collection. And we are equally obsessed with sex, lust and most of all, losing. So we started a thing in wordpress – it isnt really a blog – that is like a skeleton we will fill with blood, sperm and broken hearts to flesh it out. Sadly, we haven’t wuite resolved how we will deal with some of the more recent posts are actually historical – you might be looking for updates but we have been scanning in stuff that gets archives in 2005… actually I don’t know why I said that “to be fair” business. Like who cares? They didn’t.

Anyway, some things about osl.lameatnames.com [osl is said like asshole btw]

DEFINITELY not safe for work [Air Commodore is leaving his job anyway]
DEFINITELY gonna have gross private stuff on there about V & I that you might be too grossed out to inspect [Feel a bit weird about The Cardinal looking - she's such a lady]

So I think I have been clear enough. Something is just nice and nothing too.

Et voila osl.lameatnames.com

xx Lektrogirl

April 18, 2009

THE LADYGANG

I love us.

xx Lektrogirl

January 14, 2009

FANTASY COME TRUE

OMG this has to be one of the most exciting days of my life! Today I have to go to The Royal Courts of Justice on The Strand and make an appearance.

First of all I was walking across Lincoln’s Fields at a time I would usually still be in bed and got to see all the morning things I usually dont: screwed up raspberries still fresh on the pavement before the pigeons got them and men in boring suits carrying briefcases. Not a lot to miss out on but the fresh air was great.


Cause I had to dress like a dweeb, here is part of my underwear that made me feel better.

Then I got to the courts and had to go through a security check like at the airport. And then I guess I was overcome by everything and had to go and do a poo. So TMI you may say but relevant to the story. As grand as the building is, the toilets we not up to par – untidy, ill equipt. Really poor form. I mean there actally toilets in there but you know where you have those dreams where you walk into the basement somewhere looking for the toilet and its all damp and full of weirdos and the doors don’t shut – or maybe that is just my version of the going to school in your pyjamas dream.

So anyway I was looking for my case on the boards and couldn’t see it. I spoke to two incredibly stupid women who couldn’t help me and I spoke to one incredibly smart man who could. I’m now in apostrophe checking out all the solicitors having morning coffee meeting before appearing. None of them are hot. Which goes to show that even on TV in all the cop shows there is an element of truth in their depiction of the legal system – solicitors and lawyers are never hot – it is the detectives and CSI’s that are the babes.

Xx Lektrogirl

December 1, 2008

RAMENE TA CHATTE

LA COMPILE QUE T’AURAIS DU OFFRIR À LA MEUF DONT T’ES AMOUREUX EN SECRET

So I got asked to offer my opinion on this matter for the French Vice – what song a guy should send me if he was secretly in love with me but never told me – and you can read the whole thing here.

J’ai écrit:

Del Shannon – Runaway
Emma Lektrogirl : ” J’ai entendu cette chanson pour la première fois alors que j’étais encore petite fille, et elle a provoqué des trucs qui s’appelaient “le désir”, “la luxure” et “un chagrin d’amour”. C’était la première fois que je ressentais ces émotions d’adultes, et ça m’a donné envie de briser des coeurs à mon tour – tellement fort que ma victime se saisirait de sa guitare pour chanter des trucs sur moi. Si quelqu’un m’envoyait cette chanson, je saurais qu’il m’appartient à la vie à la mort. Maintenant que je me relis, je ne sais pas vraiment si c’est très correct de vous raconter l’histoire d’une petite fille qui a commencé à mouiller à l’âge de 6 ans… Alors du coup, je vais plutôt choisir ce morceau là :


Kap Bambino – New Breath
Envoyez lui cette chanson si vous voulez la baiser parce qu’elle vous fait vous sentir vivant. Avec Kap Bambino, vous lui faîtes savoir qu’après ça, votre vie ne sera plus jamais la même.

Other contributors offered: Foo Fighters – Walking after you, Elton John – This Is Your Song, R.Kelly – You Remind Me Of My Jeep, Motörhead & Girlschool – Please Don’t Touch, Frank Sinatra – My Funny Valentine, X-RAY SPEX – Germ Free Adolescent, The Moldy Peaches – Anyone Else But You, Ride – Drive Blind, 10cc – The things we do for love.

The piece was put together after the guys at VICE France did this thing which they thought were songs that they should send girls. The selection is equally mismatched and horrible.

xx Lektrogirl

November 12, 2008

MY LOVE LIFE


My Love Life, originally uploaded by Lektrogirl.

November 11, 2008

MY LOVE LIFE

November 9, 2008

SWALLOWED A STONE

So Sarah and Grissom are no longer together, their relationship withered as he couldn’t make up his mind. Now Grissom is in Lady Heather’s upstairs bedroom asking her to stay. As painful as they are, stories of breaking hearts, lust and longing and dreams that never come true are so attractive to me. And I guess why I end up in the world of lost loves with a pair of kiddies knickers on my dining room table and my heart feels like I swallowed a stone.

That is why I am so in love with some of the pictures I collect for lameatnames.com which I am relieved to say is now back online.

Tomorrow I will continue on my picture framing mission. I have pictures of cancers and illustrations of eruptive fevers from antique books, gems and flowers, naked ladies and drive in porn movie posters. I am looking forward to the next lot of London guests who may come my way. I will also put together a proposal for a video that I would like to make for Appareil for their song “Sex Attack” [which I have blogged about before].

Also in other news: Drx, Role Model and I have all swapped Wii numbers. We can swap Mii’s… I only have two Mii’s at the moment, me and my boyfriend who is a black guy called Wasteman. I made him tall and skinny like Snoop Dogg.

And this from harriet_the_spy is worth a note.


Trying To Start A Meme

What’s the oldest item of clothing you own? I’ve had this PJ top since I was nine or ten and watched my breasts develop under its thin cotton M&S comfort: ‘Take It Easy’ you sheep.

I will get around to doing this one day only I feel disadvantaged cause my really old stuff is at home in Australia and probably in Mum’s polishing rag basket by now. I’m sure to have some old NIKE tops from when I was in my Sporty Spice phase though if I dig deep enough. To elucidate on the Sporty Spice phase: It was actually when I was going to Rephlex Raves “back in the day” wearing things like neon pink Speedo swimming costume with a massive zipper down the back, combat trousers, a red Helmut Lang tulle vest and giant Nike trainers back in 1996. And made up like a cosmetic counter exploded in my face.

xx Lektrogirl

November 3, 2008

BERLIN DEPRESSION

So I have made a little video to go with an old old song from am old old boyfriend of mine Antoine Catala. He is an artist now that I have taught him everything I know [LOL] and he has made some great work. At the moment, he is in Pittsburg working on some exhibition with other people in it like Jacob my buddy from Paperrad

And there I was thinking I had a weird weekend. I just heard a very beautiful love story from a male friend who ended up sucking the dick of an Arab in a park at 3am after getting drunk. But he didn’t make the guy cum so the Arab got violent and pushed him, my friend fell and hurt his shoulder.

I have the best friends in the whole whole world.

A while ago I was kissing a man and I told him that he was a great kisser. He told me “So are you – but you should be with all the practise you have had.” My friends know me and I love them for it. But yerrr… what he didn’t know was that the way he kissed me made me forgot all the others.

I have the best friends in the whole whole world.

And recently I have been in touch with a lot of old friends. And I really like them. I feel like I really lost the way the last couple of years, but now I feel back in touch. And I want my old friends to meet my few new special friends because I know that it would be one big massive good times chill out vibes to the maximum totally bubble.

I have the best friends in the whole whole world.

xx Lektrogirl

November 2, 2008

MINE

There are some things that I just can’t tell because they are all mine things and I don’t want to share them with you. But take Bryan Adams instead. It’s a banger.

I’m stupidly tired and I can want to sleep and be alone with my dreams.

Tomorrow, I will worry about lameatnames.com – I have been approached by many different people – even a company who wants to assist because they think I can help them with amateur porn on the iPhone. Yeah big business.

I have two friends with a crisis each and I must assist them – one can’t cook and the other one can’t fuck someone cause she love him too much [a generalisation].

xx Lektrogirl

September 27, 2008

LET’S BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER

Hi XXCESNOREDXX
A pleasure to look at your lovely picture and your nice profile.I must say australian princess, u sound so easy going and u write crisp and short.I am quite new to the site,infact it was yesterday,that i subscribed and got a full membership,so this is definately not the best mail you have recieved so far………..BUT,its from a very genuine man.I am a medical doctor by profession,and work in east london with the NHS.A horse rider and swimmer(not at the same time) on most sundays,although i do enjoy walks in the parks,exhibitions,cinemas,bars & restuarants,and all the normal things,like chocolates and cats.(and do not wear pointy shoes)..lol.Am very romantic at heart,so not shy to show the feelings(holding hands/hugs/kisses).Witty with lots of jokes for every moment,but an intelligent conversation equally stimulates my brain cells. Am kind,down to earth and very genuine.Please write back,and be in touch if u fancy.Kind regards,K******d

For a Doctor, he’s has bad spelling. But then I guess that is what you get when you post a profile on dating website. This guy is not hot which is a shame or I would def email him back so we could not be shy to show each other our feeling (holding hands/hugs/kisses). I have been talking to a guy in a gorilla suit though which is going much better.

xx Lektrogirl

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