Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

July 10, 2008

THE PARTY GOT STARTED

With thanks to Madame and Cazza, the following post rinses their Flickr accounts cause until last night I did not have a camera. More on this in a minute.

There was a lot sitting around and drinking and waiting for something to happen when I arrived with Mr Crisp and Mrs Kipling to the Antony Price PRICELESS / TOPMAN launch. It wasn’t until I took the matter into my own hands [literally!! as shown above] that the action really took place… LOLZ! What a gorgeous thigh!

Max had been working very hard with Mrs Price on putting the range together and the launch to happen. Here he is with his ventriloquist dummy “Pippa” modelling an Antony Price suit which is part of the Savile Row collection. This suit is called the Joan Crawford. It is STUNNING.

INTERNET TIME WARP
Sorry folks I just disappeared into a hole rinsing this blog for MP3’s and checking out all the amazing donut pictures

God so where was I?

Yes – back in another time warp. The DJ’s last night at TRAMP were really fucking awful. Alex T assures me that even though he spent a long time dancing, the music was hideous. He stayed later than me. To give you a feel as to the kind of tunes that were being played [probably on CD and not vinyl] check out the looks on the faces of Pippa and me. Okay? I think this picture speaks a thousand words.

There was a lot of booze too at the party. Max told me that he had to walk home cause when he sat on the bus, he wanted to be sick. I’m sure he wasn’t the only one. Cazza’s Facebook status update was rather telling this morning!! HAHAHA.


Mr Chip and Mrs Kipling kept it real by smoking toothpick blunts all night which we circulated round the table like a bunch of losers. Pippa even kept a straight face while talking to someone or other in a suit and a quick puff continued to pass the dutchie on the left hand side. Why we thought this game was so good I’ll never know.

And the night was officially declared by me “THE NIGHT OF 100% BABE HAIR”

As a child, my mother would never let me grow my hair long cause she said I never brushed it enough and I had to have it short [with a rat's tail - her only compromise with me] until I was OLD. What a crying shame as it is quite clear that I have naturally babish hair. Other girls who are worthy of this title are Manara, The Cardinal, Cazza and Mistress of the Goodvibes Universe.

I also loving Pam Hogg’s hair. Back in Tasmania, my sister and I used to copy her clothes out of i-D magazines and sew them for ourselves cause we couldn’t buy anything decent back then. This shade of pink for Pam is really beautiful!

And check out Mr Chips shirt properly:

As this picture was taken, I was giving him a wedgie. But don’t we still both look so glamorous and manage to keep it together for the camera!! That folks is true style.

On that note from another evening from my fabulous life, I bid you good night [unless I find some other killer YouTube video or something a bit later.]

xx Lektrogirl

July 7, 2008

SO HML! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

2008!!! F.B.I. [that's French LOLspeak for 'fausse bonne idée']

Apart from all the stuff do do with work I have dealt with this year, financial woes, being ill, getting mugged etc [sorry to whinge] TODAY I got stuck in the rain, forgot my PIN for my only bank account with any money in it, nearly got run over by some ‘youth’ on his bicycle burning round the corner on the pavement and AM GRAPPLING WITH MY OLD PHONE WITH THE STUPID KEYPAD FOR THE LETTERS. All the while trying not to send out too many hate vibes to the universe.

On the plus side, Max rang me today and started to sing this:

Which is super funny cause it is the kind of thing my sister would do [only she would sing 'You Give Love A Bad Name' or 'Living On A Prayer' more likely]

Oh the Little Witch just rang me and I can’t remember all the anti complaining I was going to do but I had a good laugh about The Twin, A Dog’s Life and getting your period etc. SGT [serious girl's talk].

Aussi j’ai parlé avec le Parisian Jew et i told him my latest stories which he declared ‘Hyper Mignon’ et non il n’est pas un PD. En fait he was on his way out to buy sexy presents for his girlf.

In other super exciting news: This Wednesday night it is the launch of the Antony Price “PRICELESS” line for TOPMAN with a party at TRAMP! I have seen the upcoming collection in mock ups of the look book as Max has been working with ‘Mrs’ Price very closely putting the project together. I think the collection looks great. Sadly I won’t have my camera :((( but I think Madame, Mrs Kipling, Caz [fellow Aussie Babe] will all be there and have their snappers out so I will be raiding their photo’s like crazy for the blog. Anyway I have to totally rework the look I was going to be wearing now my Jas MB clutch has gone. I’d been thinking about it for days… Shit… What is a girl to do?

You know I will tell you something good – I loved walking back from the High Street today where I got rained on to see all the giant puddles and massive floods cause all the drains are blocked around here by leaves, twigs, petals, bits from people pruning their hedges and maybe a bit of dog crap in a plastic bag and the occasional Mc Donald’s sauce lid container. It seems so civilised. Rather than in East London where I know that the drains are all blocked by chicken bones, knives, odd sneakers, eviction notices, more chicken bones and somewhere my forlorn belongings never to be seen again. A parochial mentality I know, but my mentality none the less.

xx Lektrogirl

THE JOHN DAVIDSON FAN CLUB #7

the cushion is on the chair Dejong’s grandfather died in and he(your ex boy friend!) passed on to me. It is worn and tatty but is big enough to accommodate my arse. I quite often fall into a nap in it. I have had to find another hiding place for me pisso bags, since the pisso sister discovered where I hid rhem. The ‘f’ slag. I wouldn’t pee on her if she was on fire, or touch her knockers if I had rubber gloves on. Jesus a man would have to be hard up.
GLAD YOU’VE GOT SOME GOOD MATES(fuck) Specially Max. Hard to believe that you are so near the house i spent a fair bit of my youth in. All three brothers have climbed the kindof steps around the front door to get into room over the front porch. We were all hell-bent to stick a bit into a bird called Angela. Mrs Shaw’s niece, who was deh-initely a bit of a nymph. I reckon I must have told you about Bob giving her one against her front door(knee-trembler)wehen he heard mum coming up the stairs belo0w him. B ob dispensed his ‘rice-pudding onto the carpet and bent down and covered it with the doormat, before ma saw his antics. Another time the old man heard Peter making his way down to her bedroom, so the ‘old man’ went hell-bent after him some minutes later. When fathwer got to the room he was stunned to find that P had used two frangers in such short time. Good luck to both of them. I’m stuffed if I know why,how, we didn’t put her up the duff. We were eventually invited to her wedding to some poor barstard, though Mrs Shaw gave the three of us a bollocking for getting into a corner with her bottle of Drambhui Liquor! Being young wasn’t real bad. Being old is a bastard!
If you went up the stairs in 55 till you came tho the penultimate flight. you would walk into the kitchen straight in front and the bathroom on the left’ I the corner between the 2 door my old man had puta small shelf about bottom height.One day mum’s maid, one Beryl ENGLEFIELD was poncing about like a horny woman so I hoisted arse up on to the shelf and gave her one. What did I hear but ma plodding up the stairs. Jesus! I managed to do me duty , whipped it out and ducked into the bathroom. I left Beryl there clutching at her skirt and drawers in a bit of a fever. But Ma either decided NOT to see, or thought the scene too distasteful to comment upon, because Beryl returned to work the next day, whereon I finished the job on my own bed. What a bastard yer dear old Popsie was/is?
Lunch calls buddy. We’re in lock down. no visitors until the wog that spewed and crapped about 50% of the inmates subsides.
Thanks 4 the email. made my day, li ttle mate. Cheers, frae yer pa thedirty old b

April 29, 2008

NO SECRETS

I was thinking about this on the walk home from the tube station today, rather than trying to take photos of yellow things in the rain.

As a point of note for all guys, it is almost 85% certain that your girlfriend knows your password. And she knows it in the same way she knows where you left your cheque book / keys / belt. It is deeply mystifying to males how females do this [specially as we are always losing stuff.]

However girls, if your boyfriend has any brains at all and is a bit techno savvy, he will be well aware of keystroke capture software he will be able to install on computers you use and learn all your secrets. It isn’t hard. Monsieur Raide was expert at stuff like this. And a German I knew.

I’m stuffed from dinner with my favourite Mr Pink at The Duke Of York on Doughty Mews. He really is so funny. Our most current joke involves a story about the look on his old dog’s face when it licked a wee in the street and Mr Pink prancing around calling out random disses like he was a Kingston dancehall queen. He also had some great stories tonight about riding in a rickshaw with Pete Burns round Soho back in the 80’s and Daryl Hall allegedly having a wooden leg. But I can’t go for that. No can do.

xx Lektrogirl

April 22, 2008

ANOTHER FUN DAY

I went and visited Max again today and listened to him cry that his plants were getting murdered, bitched out all and sundry and drank cups of tea. Then we walked into town and I stopped off at Milk Bar my new favourite favourite – superseding Flat White [but it is okay cause it is the same peeps] for a BonSoy Soy Latte THE BEST BEST of my mega favourite ever. Well not only for the coffee but I was dropping off some Madame A Trois tea cup and saucer for them.

WTF is Madame A Trois? Read the little web page or just look at the pictures:

Obvs don’t shit at how great they are. But if you can’t stretch to £29 for one of the china trios, now you can stop off at Milk Bar on Bateman Street and borrow one while you have your tea.

After the perfect coffee and a happy chat I went down the road to Maison B where Tania had another exhibition opening – for photos of Noel Fielding by some guy called Nobby. I was a little nonplussed by this exhibition tho’ liked it a bit more than the real Noel Fielding exhibition. In fact, here is the best part of the exhibition:

There were bottles of wine and plates of these everywhere, about 9 paparazzi around waiting for Noel Fielding to show up – when he did and he was saying ‘Hiya’ to that girl who is in the band with the one going out with Kate Moss – blubs were flashing all over the place like men in Macs on the heath.

In the background, Max, Pippa and I were ‘chillin’ to Imagination tracks and Max even did some erotic dance routines. I hope he ends up in Heat magazine.


‘No No we aren’t up to anything…’
Max was looking very Yacht Rock today as well. So a good look for men. Oh and he has this AMAZING pyjama shirt he is gonna wear as a real shirt. AMAZING. The best dressed man I know.

Anyway that girl who’s name I can’t even remember was wearing these cowboy shoes that made her feet look like two giant crow beaks. But she does have a pretty smile. I remember DJing for them once at Cherry Jam – and she was on the mic, he was on the guitar, and the rest of their band was an iMac – I think in Bondi Blue, hidden behind a flight case. And this was well into like 2002 or 2003.

Finally, here is a picture of Ceephax Acid Crew on a recent tour in Holland that I have been meaning to show everyone.

xx Lektrogirl

March 13, 2008

Love Synchronicity

Max and I are OBSESSED with this song. Whenever I have a wee when I am visiting Max, we play this or ‘Get Ready’ by Carol Hitchcock cause Max weirds would when he can hear people pissing.

xx Lektrogirl

March 5, 2008

THE RESULT

Hardly worth it, but here it is now on YouTube:

This is the finished version of my new video for the fairly old track called louloulou [all my songs started with names like that] while it was just an MP3 but now it is a finished thing, the name is THE RESULT.

All that hex editing was hardly worth the RSI for what it achieved, but where it is most obvious I think it looks really nice.

Anyway, my sub-editor Alex T – who has now been usurped for a Firefox plug in [and AUSTRALIAN dictionary no less and the occasional French when I need to switch it on] – can take all the credit for the posting of this song online. If he hadn’t made me cry over dinner then this may have never happened. Max and I were just discussing what a well dressed man Alex T is – I can’t think of anyone in real life other than Max who dresses better. I watched Max iron his shirts, pyjamas, boxer shorts AND SOCKS today. Have I told anyone recently how much I love Max? Well I hope Alex at least doesn’t hate what I made.

I did an online proficiency test for my French language skills and apparently I am Intermediate. Which surprised me! I thought I would be advanced beginner or something. Lovely.

Last night I dreamt I was a prostitute. I dreamt that I met a girl from my college called Danielle and she had been a working girl for a little while and she was hooking me up with the place she worked. I had to go to this pier and there was a giant cinema with brass detailing all around the edges of the posters. In a secret panel of the door, a midget opened a door and threw a haggard old man out of his wheelchair into the street. I announced “I’ve come to see Danielle”. The midget let me in and I had to walk up this cranky stair case with a moving partition wall. All the handrails were covered with really long public hair. It disgusted me. Then I got to the little waiting room area and realised I was in jeans and sneakers – not what I thought I should be wearing. Then I realised the other girls were in pink chavvy tracksuits. They lent me some jewellery to wear – it was an enamel horse. Then a customer called Mark came in who was one of Jo’s regulars. He was wearing a thong made out of something a bit thicker than cling film. Thank God I woke up before I had to do anything with anyone. Thank God for you too cause I would have told you all about it.

I’m so tired tonight.

xx Lektrogirl

February 29, 2008

I BUILT A DESK

Today I was one of those people who sat in Starbucks staring into middle distance sipping on a soapy coffee wishing that I wasn’t really there. However, I knew I wasn’t beyond redemtion because I was on my way to Homebase to buy some wood for making my desk supports later that afternoon.

Actually it wasn’t even a coffee – it was a Soy Chai Tea Latte. LOL.

This morning I woke up without a hangover but felt I deserved one. After hanging out with Max all day, talking about Pantie Wetters, Nannies, Turncoats and Dead or Alive, we went into Soho to see Pippa and Nathaniel and drink some wine. A more wine later at The Three Greyhounds [my first blush since 'The DJ Assualt Night' that I could finish] and then some Geisha Rocks at Abeno Too I was sending random texts about spiritual vibes to God only knows who.


Lovely! So pretty – like sour cherries.

Max had cooked me an Apple and Rhubarb crumble. Until then, all I had heard about Max’s cooking capabilities was from his old flatmate Neil who had seen Max take the top off a yoghurt pot and that was it.

But check this out:


I am Max’s fantasy girlfriend. He is always asking me if I had sex with a woman. I always get out of answering by asking him if he ever had sex with a woman.


Look at the AWESOME temperature guage on the oven! It reminds me of Gary Numan or The Buggles or something. So jealous. And such a neat crumble.


YUM. And by now, Alex T had come over to Max’s too so we all sat and ate crumble together like naughty school children telling naughty jokes.


Here is Max’s knicker drawer. No he isn’t at all anal.

And check this garden out that Max made. It used to be just rocks and weeds and nothing. It was just nothing and it is so beautiful now.

Someone who isn’t quite like Max in some ways [totally anal] but quite like Max in other ways [I think she only fancies men] is my mate Sara Manara who if I was a big licker I would fancy her because she is a good cook and likes good music. Oh – yeah I know she is with Bok Bok so no dis bruv, but your girlf is a babe. And as you know, I’m only interested in guys anyway [I'll tell the rest of my gossipy stories later! LOL and I promise I will keep your secret forever...] I was over at Bok Bok and Manara’s house the other night and Manara cooked a BANGING dinner for us all. SO DELICIOUS.


And I gotta tell you, Manara’s Pav was almost authentic Australian [we would probably only have raspberries OR strawberries with passionfruit and banana.] It was so awesome. I could have eaten the whole thing to myself.

Mum is sending over some old tea cups and saucers from home that I am really looking forward to receiving in the post. I am planning to have a tea party. I only have two cups right now and one teapot. And it isn’t big enough.

xx Lektrogirl

May 16, 2007

AMAZING fashion – my true obsession

I saw Max today busting some serious next level steelo. Normally he will pump for Yacht Rock sometimes he will throw in a bit of LA Milk Fed kind of vibe, occasionally he has been know to show out in some S.A.G. Stone Island BUT TODAY Max totally threw it in your face to look at him in “Italian Tourist”. Total booyah!! TOTAL booyah! I love men’s fashion. The best think about my ex-husband was he didn’t mind me taking him shopping. The day we were in the Rykiel Homme shop in Paris and he decided to try on the pink check wool pants of his own accord I was so proud.

Max wore a dark Barbour jacket, a wedgewood blue shirt with white stripes made from linen with white collar and cuffs, narrow jeans and I think they were his Tod’s driving shoes. AWESOME.

A conversation ensued with James, Max, Pippa, David and I about the outfit. I pointed out that the jeans should be ankle freezer length for true authenticity. James said he though Max should be wearing pastels socks. There was something really bugging me about that all evening until I got home. In a perfect world Max would have been wearing thickish white socks scrunched down with the shorter jean. I have to say Max is the most amazingly dressed man I know because he always looks Jazzy Bindi but never looks G-A-Y.

Also overheard some hilarious news – the ex-husband of princess of fancy ladies footwear XXCENSOREDXX, who allegedly spied on her using a trojan virus to read her emails – was apparently caught redhanded trying to steal some of the old neon lighting from the Raymond Review Bar the other day in the Raymond Review Bar alley way. While XXCENSOREDXX was trying to get the lights off the roof with ropes, he was spotted by a local resident. Then arrived three police men, the landlord’s agent… T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

The other thing that cracked me up again today was remembering what Pete Burns [from Dead or Alive] said when he heard Pippa was pregnant with twins. After watching him in the Big Brother house I can picture it perfectly. Apparently he said Pippa would “have a c*** like a bucket” after giving birth. Pippa chirped with laughter again too when I said it. I like Pippa. She has a great laugh.

Finally – before I go to bed, apparently ASBO and I are no longer fighting. For the record he has not apologised. But more matters of convenience we have decided to not actively hate on each other. He thinks I’m weird for writing about him all the time on my blog. I am a little bit obsessed with him. I think he is weird cause he tells me to stay away from him, but he wouldn’t know what I was doing unless he came looking.

xx Lektrogirl

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