Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

July 7, 2010

NO FUCKING COMMENT

With a day at home, armed with a great online translator, it was with great endeavour I registered myself on a FRENCH dating website. It wasn’t easy because I don’t know what all those stupid things are called – and the French idea of a classically dressed man is not going to be the same as mine – and then I mixed up hair and eyes when describing myself and said I had grey hair and brown eyes.

It was with a feeling of great triumph when I activated my profile and took a look at the gentlemen in France who can speak English that this website suggests might be appropriate possible matches.

UNBELIEVABLE. I haven’t had such a laugh in ages.






Maybe worthy of a mention, there were EIGHTY FOUR pages of this.

June 21, 2010

CONGRATULATIONS

To of my bestest oldest friends got married today. I cried a little bit because I was so happy for them. I love you Abbie and Lee.

March 13, 2010

MENS FASHION FROM 1:48

If I made a music video, I think it would be a bit like this.

xx Lektrogirl

January 10, 2010

IN LOVE <3 <3 <3

I never fancied a Japanese guy before, but here are five of them. I have to say, I have as much chance as getting with R Kelly but can I at least send out my wish for Spring Summer 2010: I would like to walk round town and see as many men dressed like this as possible. Yacht Rock with a pink rosette!

xx Lektrogirl

November 27, 2009

FOR WHEN IM IN DAT WINDY CITY

“I got Polo just to sleep in”

Thanks to my ex husbands mother, so I.

“And when I want to go for a swim, that’s the Horsey coming up.”

xx Lektrogirl

October 19, 2009

MY STYLE MY WAY

Even with the weekend misery, there was plenty of respite

I was hanging out with London’s coolest 7 year old kids who thought I was okay to make pirate maps with, play kerrplunk with, play hide and seek with, try and work my nerves by wrestling after bed time [but I remember the day Roy came into Shop at Maison B and used 'the voice of doom' and I tried it and it worked] and then had breakfast in bed with Pippa the next day.

For more on the lives of the Brooks Lee Jones family, you can always visit here madamesays.com

xx Lektrogirl

December 4, 2008

WHEN MEN ARE HOT

Gentlemen:

It is the time of year when you are looking your best. It is the time of year when you are able to, as we girls say “WORK A LOOK” with minimum effort and not looking like a wanker. It is also the time of year that you can commit a fashion suicide an realise you will standing alone under the mistletoe drinking mulled wine with tears in your eyes all the way to Auld Lang Syne and every other to the end of infinity.

Essentially, it is the time of year to have a decent coat, beautiful scarf, nice gloves, a woolly hat and proper shoes. If you just wear your NIKE bomber with a raggy doll scarf and some shit beanie from nowheresville you just look as cheap and tatty as the man in a suit on the way to work braving the elements in some grey nylon blousony style jacket affair he got from free at the latest conference in San Fransico about electronic cabling or something. Invest in the coat / scarf / hat / gloves combo and gentlemen you will be looking a million dollars.

It is obvious – a woolly hat [go easy on the pompoms...] – eradicates “bad hair days” or “bad hair lifetimes” if you started balding aged 20. Your face is still cute and fresh – you have just got over the ’seasonal change flu’ and are excited about the prospect of Christmas holidays. Winter hasn’t ground your face into oblivion. You look good.

xx Lektrogirl

May 29, 2008

END OF THE ROAD

And I mean the Australian brand, COUNTRY ROAD!!

This video of Boyz II Men shopping probably isn’t gonna be all that funny to anyone who doesn’t have an accent like they star in the Sheila’s Wheels commercial BUT I can’t believe that BIIM are in Country Road going off the heezy at the gear available AND PICKING UP BLUNDSTONE BOOTS. Those boots are made round the corner from my mother’s house in Hobart. The Blundstone Boot factory absolutely stinks of glue and leather but it isn’t nearly so bad as the factory nearby that makes Weetbix [as we call them at home.] That smells like beery bready vomit.

xx Lektrogirl

May 22, 2008

I’M A BEAST

One of my favourite R Kelly tracks is “I’m A Beast”. But is he?

So following the R Kelly trial on the Chicago Tribune Video’s I note with interest the advertisement linked with the video is from a bedding company with images of little children bouncing all over the mattresses. Please no.

Here is the incredible coverage of the most important show business story since God only knows when.

So some important information relevant to the case:

Apparently the man in the video who is allegedly R Kelly does NOT had a mole on his back which is clearly visible on the real R Kelly.

Also Backstreet Boys are playing in the background when the alleged sex acts took place. I mean durrr… Wouldn’t R Kelly play R Kelly?!

Sad to note:

R Kelly is really a bad dresser. He isn’t a P.I.M.P. at all in the courthouse. He should have gone to Savile Row.

xx Lektrogirl

April 15, 2008

MONDAY 15TH APRIL REPORT

Have I told you all recently how much I love Teki Latex? I love him!

Today I walked in the rain all on my own through London feeling sad cause a part of my died today and it was horrible and I cried and I felt terrible. But SO relieved that all the problems I got are my own and not the weirdness of someone else. Anyway the destination of my walk was 55 Doughty Street – the old house of The G.A.

I also took a few pics of surrounding pubs that he had described to Mutts. The wind was icy and my feet got really cold. When the hell is the warmer weather coming?!

We all know I regularly dream about someone who wishes I wouldn’t. Last night he was in love with my sister who for some reason looked like Jessica Simpson in daisy dukes and showing a lot of butt. I don’t know how successful he would have been with her cause he was wearing a gauze nappy full of shit and rubbing himself against my leg getting a stiffy. So weird.

Time is really passing.

On a lighter note, I was walking up Tottenham Court Road with a certain friend who was going to pull something out of the oven for me and we followed for a while this trio of finely dressed chaps – what a bunch of faggasaurs!

The one on the left had the peachest butt I had ever seen – and his jeans seemed tailored to give him a girls bum. In fact what jeans were they? My friend declared they had to be Dolce and Gabbana cause ‘a queen like that would go straight for the Dolce and Gabbana’ [mainline obvs] but I was so confused – the label looked like those little metal plates on the Marc Jacobs bags… Can someone please fill me in on that?

The guy in the middle was like the third wheel on the bicycle. His clothes were like the look of the other two but recreated with ill fitting finds from H&M. Only he had a really nice bag.

Finally, the guy on the right had us in hysterics – what is with this heavy chambray style mix jacket with the shoulder shits with black leather gloves and dark jeans. He looked like a psycho. And the jeans… hang on a minute… “those jeans are from Celine and they don’t make a men’s line!” I guess he had problems walking in them cause he was as stiff as a rod all the way up the road, even when the guy from the far left came over and put his arm through his, not an inch of warm, not a leaning in, a bend of the arm, even recognition this guy existed. Maybe he was just so dead set to get to the 134 bus stop all the way home?!

Anyway – dark day – and check this out:

I cried today, walked through the wind and rain and was cold, waited half an hour for a bus that wouldn’t let me on cause the machine ate my money, had to get a tube, waited in line to top up my oyster card and had no change cause I’d lost it in the bus ticket machine, realised the tube machine didn’t take notes and had to go and queue up again at the window and talk to a man. AND DESPITE ALL ODDS – STILL A BABE – STILL GOT THAT PHOTOFACE TM – STILL GOT THAT VIBE – STILL GOT THAT BABE HAIR – REGULATORS!!! MOUNT UP!!

xx Lektrogirl

October 16, 2007

GRIME FASHION REPORT

Seems there are big changes on the street. Big news that big knits really hit the big time and even Jammer was trying to give away his hoodie. A lot.

The other night I went down to Cargo and whooped it up on the whiskey sours with Raggatha Christy and took the opportunity to cast my expert eye over the Ruff Sqwad.


Rapid, FudaGuy and Slix.

Rapid is really a Yacht Rock guy and only a few steps away from joining Duran Duran on Simon Le Bon’s boat. Slix dresses like he kind of is, but his shoes look like an indi boy. FudaGuy… Cap is a little bit 8-Ball Lucky Strike with the embroidered dice, but I guess he is big on the stitches with the hat like that, the embroidered Pink Panther on the knee and the ICE-B embroidery on the pocket.

See – ICE B

I’m really not into these jeans and even less into his pants. They look really cheap and nasty and infact, the entire outfit could have been bought at Camden market.
At the next Ruff Sqwad gig I have half a mind to present Fuda Guy with a selection of new undies. I am opposed to so much hanging out, for real. Imagine if he does a sloppy fart or something! FudaGuy could to be painted with the Ginuwine brush for example – Versace undies would be great. I am thinking that maybe Vilebrequin in the Moorea traditional boxer short cut would be great if FudaGuy really wanted to go round with his bum out. Vilebrequin also do incredible cotton boxers embroidered with strawberries or bees [if a girlfriend buys you these, she is a keeper.] About 2000 times better that Polo. Finally another option could be from Clone Zone on Old Compton Street. I know it is a Gayer shop and the pants are for Gays but the brand is called XTG – almost like XTC – YGM??!!


Here is Scholar who I am deeply in love with. He wears the coolest sunglasses and he has a beautiful smile. A big smile fixes everything. But sadly he is wearing one of those rotton t-shirts. I don’t think much of all the slogan t’s rolling around the East End these days. These ones in particular are pretty painful because I am almost certain that they aren’t made from organic cotton. Conventional cotton – like the cotton used in these bulk t’s that printers supply you cost them .70p each – represents 10% of world agriculture and uses 25% of the world’s pesticides. 20,000 people die every year from accidental pesticide poisoning in conventional cotton agriculture. I can also be pretty sure that the inks on those garments are not water based inks and probably contain PVC.

Now Scholar is hiding in shame cause his t-shirt is so wrong and FudaGuy is suffering from all the chemicals and pesticide residue in his t-shirt.

[if people are really interested in looking for better quality (better in quality because they are better for the environment) for printing on, you should contact me and i can maybe get you a hook up. no time wasters.]


Here is Slix up close.
The Wikipedia Handerchief guide says that a black bandana means the wearer is into heavy S&M Pain and wants to whip others (if worn on left); wants to be whipped (if worn on right). Ah so Slix, what you into?!!

And forget about Claire’s Accessories, this is Slix Accessories.


Rapid really wipes the floor with the rest of Ruff Sqwad in the fashion stakes, smart, clean, sexual. Look at Slix little fat face here – he looks like one of the Fat Boys! So check this:

YACHT ROCK!! WOO HOO!! So beautiful. Deano from Real Gold was also wearing some of these last night and I noticed that they are Clarks. Personally I would get the Sperry Top Sider from Zappo’s OR the Rockport Bridgesport for guys and Sebago Docksides for women.


What is in the bag though? From the bump in the side it could contain a tampon, lipgloss or a battery. Cardinal suggested it looks like a bag for a travel hair dryer. Nicely unwashed denim vibes. Totally Hard Yakka early ’90s vibe. Though of course, all that Hard Yakka stuff that came out over here and got worn by Oasis was all fake. Hard Yakka [and tougher it'd rust] is made for jackroos in the Australian Outback. Where it is fucking hot. A sheepskin lines denim jacket just did not exist. Until workwear was cool over here and everything got faked up.

xx Lektrogirl

October 14, 2007

JOE IN CROCS

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