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October 26, 2008

PHIL THE PHOTOGRAPHER

My friend Phil [Mr Chips] has been using a camera to take pictures that I think Sanna got him from the charity shop. He has been running black and white film in it and I have been checking out his pictures with great delight. Every time he uploads a new set, his picture – particularly those of women – are just full of a nice magic.

It is true that ‘reducing’ everything to black and white can hide a multitude of sins and suddenly make things look like ‘art’ but I personally think what is the most powerful thing about Phil’s pictures is the dialogue between himself and his subjects. These are not ‘models’ or just ’shitty friend snaps’.

I guess Phil is just lucky to have so many female friends who are comfortable in his company.

And because of that, he seems to be able to make all the women beautiful. And I find that all the other pictures of men – the pictures seem devoid of the same kind of commitment to the subject, or that subject is more disconcerted by the camera. I dunno what it is.

Compare this:

to this:

It just isn’t the same.

The other thing I love about Phil’s ability to engage with his subject and in turn tell a story with the image is how he can turn something totally inanimate into something magnificent

Anyway – I think Phil is my new favourite photographer. If you want to check out his other pictures, here is his Flickr. [rated - SFW].

September 7, 2008

ME & MACKULCY KULKIN

Both home alone last night.

Had a WICKED time though before that at PIZZA which is Cesca’s mates party. Me and Mr Chips totally cleaned up the dance floor together. So happy! I really needed a dance out. I drank far too much and am a bit hung over today. Thank Allah that there is a lunch date planned with the Kuntish Frown crew [The Cardinal, The Air Commodore] at The Junction Tavern. Be there at 2pm if you have a score to settle and have a mind to shank. I’ll be ready for you.

I bought two Marjan Pejoski shirts the other day and am LOVING them. Here is a fucking overly gross picture of me in one of them.

In other news, here is Pippa’s son Joe.

Isn’t it great being a kid?

xx Lektrogirl

August 31, 2008

MY GIFT TO PHIL


August 20, 2008

DAY OFF

And what a day. Still broke and waiting for pay day I went back into town cause the guy at the Leicester Square Timpsons failed to cut a key correctly and I needed him to do it again. The key he cut as a replacement also didn’t work. I hate him. He looks like a large version of the boot makers elves crossed with something out of A League of Gentlemen or something with brown gack all over his glasses. I also visited the Photographer’s Gallery which wasn’t a lot, then went and had a piece of rhubarb tart at PAUL and a really horrid coffee. After that I went into an antique etching and print place and asked the nerdy guy “I’m looking for pictures of naked ladies or tea parties.” I mean what else would I want? A ‘Negro’ boxer, a prize winning horse or a battle scene – hardly. Anyway the poor guy blushed his face off and couldn’t even bring himself to to say ‘naked ladies’ to his female boss [I bet he is big into vintage porn]. She sent me off to Cecil Court where I found some amazing plant lithographs and maps of Tasmania from the olden days. I didn’t buy anything though. I will definitely go back though. I couldn’t help but think of the rude man in Paris who has the shop selling old photographs in is it the Marché des Enfants or something? I so feel a trip to Paris coming soon.

Anyway – got home, had a nap but got woken by Superduck asking me about the name of a Café in Paris – which apparently has great hot chocolate. I don’t even drink hot chocolate. Then OMG who should appear online by my old friend Noodles who I was able to swap some timely gossip with about one of the more highly strung ex’s of my days and a lot of snorting ROLFing done on my part. Noodles also gave me the missing link to a mystery I have been trying to investigate for the last couple of weeks. So I was straight back on the phone to Superduck who could make like Craig David and Fill Me In. Superduck could assure me that XXCENSOREDXX is a piece of work and XXCENSOREDXX only goes for trophy men. HAHA. Good luck to XXCENSOREDXX then. To wind up the conversation, Superduck then went to tell me he wanted to jizz on Maude’s face cause she is so cute, sweet, innocent and lovely [it is his cat] and take picture of it. Cool. Thankfully though he sent a text later telling me that even though he was trying hard and was thinking of XXCENSOREDXX Maude’s little furry face really put him off and he couldn’t do it.

And to put the lid on the day, Mr Chips has been making me a couple of videos on Facebook after we told each other to ‘Get Fucked’ the other day. In one of them he sang a little song along with what he calls his ‘Paedo iPhone Piano’ where he said I was like a cat stuck in a petrol can. Which I thought was a very accurate description of me sometimes – I can be that prickly.

All in all I have really enjoyed my day off. I hope to goodness that Oscar is in the office tomorrow. He is the cutest dog in the world.

I have worked in some offices where there have been dogs that have been nothing but trouble – pissing and shitting on the floor, constantly barking, biting people, chewing up staff’s belongings – really badly trained dogs. Oscar on the other hand is just perfect! He has such a lovely nature and he is so friendly I love it when he sits at my desk and does my work for me. And I am going to see him tomorrow.

Oh cool – I just got another video from Mr Chips. He told me he is going to shoot me in the face and stab me in the cunt! Mr Chips really puts boys like Prancehall back in the playground when it comes to beef.

xx Lektrogirl

August 10, 2008

RANK ALERT

WARNING

I said I wouldn’t post another one of these every again but I couldn’t resist. The other night after watching a plethora of cyst videos on YouTube and having Facebook chats with a nice friend, I then when to bed and called my friend for further conversation where he was continuing to watch these videos and describing everything that was happening in them – I was watching these videos by proxy! Oh what a happy heart. Anyway this one sounded SO GOOD that I had to get the link and sure enough it was in my inbox this morning for me to enjoy [I had garlic stuff olives and cherry tomatoes for breakfast with a cup of English Breakfast tea.]

Anyway if you don’t have the stomach to be checking out the video above, I will explain briefly that it is someone with a tooth abscess squeezing the bloody puss into her own mouth. It is fucking RANK.

In other news, my big Saturday night was Mr Chips and I making Facebook videos for a number of friends. Apologies to those who received rather weird videos [Mrs Kipling and Cazza for example]

Night night beautiful people. I want to go and have sweet dreams.

xx Lektrogirl

July 29, 2008

SHITHEAD

I learnt a new card game today called Shithead with Jappers and Mr Chips in Finbury Park. SO MUCH FUN. I love card games and it reminded me of when I played Canasta for hours with my sister. We had the most beautiful card set with some Carmen Miranda lady on the back. The other card game we played was called Mhing. Or something.

Here is me the only time I was Shithead. Mr Chips ended up as Mega Shithead after crowing all arvo about what a champ he is and how he was going to bomb us all with his cards. And a fucking cheater!!

Here is Mr Chips totally desolate after his shameful loss searching through rubbish looking for some meaning to life. A spiritual cripple.

Some others with no dignity were these Italians who looked peaceful at this moment, but actually when Jappers and Mr Chips went to get some Doritos, they had a screaming row which disturbed my peaceful repose while I stared at the sky and dreamt of all kinds of beautiful things that you think about in summer weather. Unless you are stuck in an office with broken aircon.


Chillax to the maxxx

A long time ago I knew a man who was living in a hospital with patients living with different mental conditions. Robert was a real pain in the arse. He used to collect porn mags and display them by leaning them along his window ledge to offend the female nurses. He also stole cutlery so that he might eat in his room. It was not permitted to have such items in the rooms. All rooms were free of coat hangers, the mirrors were made from metal sheets [not very reflective] there were no shower curtains and no shower rails to tie sheets from.

I was wearing and Oeuf t-shirt [remember that label that Andrew Hartwell did?] that said HOMME MINUS on it when Robert saw me. Robert eyed me up and down and said from under his grey moustache “Oh you are one of those women are you?” I was so emo at the time I felt like crying in his face, but didn’t. I’m not a real man hater. But sometimes I feel like it.

It is properly raining now. I love it after a warm day. The air smells like magic spells.

I just went searching for my old French teach at College – Mr Redeker but couldn’t stalk him. He was one of my teachers who was very encouraging. He told me that I would be able to do anything I wanted, whatever that might me. I just haven’t decided what I want to do yet. Someone else said the same thing today. I’m glad I haven’t “lost it” after all these years.

xx Lektrogirl

July 27, 2008

ANOTHER WEEKEND

And so where to begin? It’s 9pm and I’ve heard it was a beautiful day today – I just made it out at about 8pm to walk to McDonald’s for something to eat. I wanted KFC but that is further and I couldn’t be bothered.

Last night The Cardinal and I were waiting at The Star at the end of the street until it dawned on us that Mr Chips actually meant The Star on Bethnal Green Road for Say Yes. Durrr… So dressed in what we had rolled out of the house in we made it over to The Star to get sweaty with everyone else.

The only woman to managed to keep it together in her Alphabet of Chanel blouse was Jenny Jenny the most gorgeous woman at the house of vice. My only regret is that I didn’t manage to get her feet in the picture too. It would have been perfect.

Everybody else was trying to keep cool fanning themselves with 7 Year Glitch flyers that Venom and Cardinal were handing out for the party on 23rd August.

Mr Chips cool as ice and me as sweaty as a Christmas boiled ham. I look like a big fat piece pressure cooked silverside. HML.

It was then off to Lucy’s birthday on a roof top in Bethnal Green. It was so amazing sitting out on a warm night drinking the new summer time vibes favourite – Whiskey and Ginger. This is Japper’s tipple of choice that I am now adopting. So good. If the truth is known though I really hate the Cardinal right now for being complicit in a spit ball game with Paul Pieroni that took place at Cocadisco which I wont go into detail over but let this be a warning to them both that revenge is best served cold and your times will come. And it was so OMG cause my old friend Koffi was there by chance too. So much fun.

Lucy made Amph dance for ages and did all kinds of moves. She really was non-stop! I couldn’t stop laughing! So much fun! It seemed she had a great time for her birthday.

I mean down on the ground with your legs in the air along side someone as smiley as Amph. I wouldn’t complain. LOLZ.

A broken man.

Deano was also there and for some reason he was letting me punch him in the face loads of times on both cheeks. My hand actually hurts a little bit today. I hope his face is okay.

My love life is still the same.

xx Lektrogirl

July 26, 2008

BODY KISS


When doves cry.

I have been listening to nothing by The Isley Brothers for the last couple of days. I reckon I could be a great mini cab driver soon. I just have to be able to deal with the smell of those trees. Anyway there are two songs you really need to check out – one is called “I Like” written by and featuring R Kelly and Snoop Dogg. The other one is called “Body Kiss” which is a slow, sexual and spiritual jam that is like flies caught in syrup on a hot day – it is sweet and sickly – especially the kissy noises that Ronald does through the song and L’il Kim sounds real husky and dirty too even though they have put auto tuner on her vocals. Amazing. LOL. Amazing delivery by Mr Biggs. His voice is exquisite. Slow jammer. See I told you I should be a mini cab driver.

Not like the poor pigeon above which is more like the state of my life than the vibes going on in an R&B jam. Having said that, I had an amazing time last night. In a suspect outfit I met with Mr Chips, The Cardinal, Jappers and Bird Cage and went to Cocadisco for some above and below the waist dancing. There I saw SPENNY TUNGATE OMG – he is the greatest dancer – gave myself serious bruises fisting Rachel and got spit on by Paul Pieroni who was doing really incredible floor skids. I was super impressed.

Julianiswatching was also there and looked like a cheese string on the dance floor and pulled some pretty impressive shapes. He’s a super sexual dancer!! I would want to be his friend if he didn’t spend the whole night inferring I was fat by trying to tickle me all night. There are only two places I’m ticklish and one of them is my inner thigh. The other is more available to the general public so I’m not going to tell. Though my father was a big one for tickles so I spent my childhood years developing the power of mind over matter as an invisible force field for tickle threats.

Earlier in the evening I had a really interesting conversation with James and Amph keeping my eye on what is really important. Here we see the guys eye to eye discussing man to man stuff.

Even earlier in the day, Carri came to see me at the shop. I made her pose for hours while I worked out the flash on the camera that Mrs Kipling has leant me.

Don’t think she found it such a chore. When other visitors came in to see me I had to kick them all out cause we were having a really good conversation about tummy rolls and the best meal deals from KFC. Carri and I are high rollers you may have noticed. No fucking junior spesh for us for one pound fifty.

Genuine good times. So much fun! God yesterday turned out to be WWIICCKKEEDD.

Probably cause I went and had a proper dinner for a change at The Giaconda Dining room. It is on Denmark Street. It is so good. I had tuna, puy lentils – everything you see pictured here. People at a nearby table were saying rather loudly “Why is she taking pictures of her food?” so I bogged them out hoping to give one of them a dirty look, but they were too busy talking about me they didn’t look back over. They were saying that people who blog food are good for recommendations of restaurants on the internet. If I could recommend any place in London right now, it would have to be The Giaconda Dining room. I can’t wait to go back again.

xx Lektrogirl

July 24, 2008

I HURT PHIL

I hurt his feelings. It was a mistake. I can see that. I see his passion and his pain. Both of those things start with P. So does his name. But Philip sounds more like it starts with an F.

And today I am in the Shop sitting in the cool basement with my shoes off and feet up on a stool listening to ABBA sung in Swedish in a shirt I bought last summer and never wore and I went looking for some sandals this morning and couldn’t find them and found the shirt instead. I had already changed three times but still didn’t feel right but I found the shirt and my life just fell into place. I wonder if I can work Max’s laptop to make a video like Mr Chips did? I hesitate only because I worry I will end up looking like I have an double chin.

xx Lektrogirl

July 16, 2008

SO EMO RIGHT NOW

Jo Apps sang this tonight at Hot Breath Karaoke at my request. It started something deep inside of me. Which revved like an engine fuelled by double Frangelico’s [my own plus the ones for Mr Chips cause he didn't like his mixed with coke] and the 2-4-1 Cocktails. I fucking changed gear by the end of the night when this came on:

And by the time I got home, Mr Chips has told me to “Fuck Off” and I was sobbing down the phone to The Twin “Ohhh my God I don’t know what I am going to do!! His eyes are too close together!!!”

Already my hangover is starting to knock on my door. I am by no means sleepy after sleeping all day and not being able to sleep all night from coughing the last few nights.

Perhaps I should take the advice of the The Twin and just go to bed…

xx Lektrogirl

[P.S. this is sounding pretty tragic isn't it?! OJ LOL]

OMG and on a random note – Denzel Washington! I feel just like him when he is an alcoholic in that great movie – fuck what was it called?! I can’t remember but I wrote about it before on my blog. I watched it with Seb in Hamburg. It was INCREDIBLE.

July 10, 2008

THE PARTY GOT STARTED

With thanks to Madame and Cazza, the following post rinses their Flickr accounts cause until last night I did not have a camera. More on this in a minute.

There was a lot sitting around and drinking and waiting for something to happen when I arrived with Mr Crisp and Mrs Kipling to the Antony Price PRICELESS / TOPMAN launch. It wasn’t until I took the matter into my own hands [literally!! as shown above] that the action really took place… LOLZ! What a gorgeous thigh!

Max had been working very hard with Mrs Price on putting the range together and the launch to happen. Here he is with his ventriloquist dummy “Pippa” modelling an Antony Price suit which is part of the Savile Row collection. This suit is called the Joan Crawford. It is STUNNING.

INTERNET TIME WARP
Sorry folks I just disappeared into a hole rinsing this blog for MP3’s and checking out all the amazing donut pictures

God so where was I?

Yes – back in another time warp. The DJ’s last night at TRAMP were really fucking awful. Alex T assures me that even though he spent a long time dancing, the music was hideous. He stayed later than me. To give you a feel as to the kind of tunes that were being played [probably on CD and not vinyl] check out the looks on the faces of Pippa and me. Okay? I think this picture speaks a thousand words.

There was a lot of booze too at the party. Max told me that he had to walk home cause when he sat on the bus, he wanted to be sick. I’m sure he wasn’t the only one. Cazza’s Facebook status update was rather telling this morning!! HAHAHA.


Mr Chip and Mrs Kipling kept it real by smoking toothpick blunts all night which we circulated round the table like a bunch of losers. Pippa even kept a straight face while talking to someone or other in a suit and a quick puff continued to pass the dutchie on the left hand side. Why we thought this game was so good I’ll never know.

And the night was officially declared by me “THE NIGHT OF 100% BABE HAIR”

As a child, my mother would never let me grow my hair long cause she said I never brushed it enough and I had to have it short [with a rat's tail - her only compromise with me] until I was OLD. What a crying shame as it is quite clear that I have naturally babish hair. Other girls who are worthy of this title are Manara, The Cardinal, Cazza and Mistress of the Goodvibes Universe.

I also loving Pam Hogg’s hair. Back in Tasmania, my sister and I used to copy her clothes out of i-D magazines and sew them for ourselves cause we couldn’t buy anything decent back then. This shade of pink for Pam is really beautiful!

And check out Mr Chips shirt properly:

As this picture was taken, I was giving him a wedgie. But don’t we still both look so glamorous and manage to keep it together for the camera!! That folks is true style.

On that note from another evening from my fabulous life, I bid you good night [unless I find some other killer YouTube video or something a bit later.]

xx Lektrogirl

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