> > > From: TA
> > > To: Emma
> > > Subject: Re: TOP SECRET
> > > Sent: 04 Mar ‘10 12:16
> > >
> > > Ok. I’ll give you a buzz on Wed. What’s your number? Mine is
> > > 07771XXXXXX.
March 6, 2010
> > > From: TA
February 21, 2010
February 16, 2010
There is a lot of sex by the hour getting paid for here. And some usual young couples. And me. the TV room has a mirrored wall, patterned sofas and red tartan carpet. There is a giant bouquet of plastic flowers in the middle on a coffee table.
I love this hotel. Places like this really make me happy. I dont know why.
February 11, 2010
I got drunk and kissed him on the landing on the 4th floor. He told me that he likes me because I kick his butt.
How will it be when I pass him in the stairs next?
February 9, 2010
I have been shopping on eBay for knickers that are probably the knickers men buy when they dress as women. And wet look metallic knickers. “Cage” knickers. Nylon “sissy panties”.
Other than that, I am on an online dating site. I was having a conversation with a nice looking guy. It turned out to be his mates winding him up. The story of my life.
January 31, 2010
January 30, 2010
It isn’t that I am neglecting OSL. I wish that I had something something something to tell you other than nothing, no boats sailing on the ocean in the night or any other time of the day passing me or not.
What I do have is a lot of sadness, emptiness, fake business and frustration.
And even then, I don’t know what is real or what is fake. What is real feelings and what is just chemicals.
I wish I had something to tell you more about than this. I feel just like a million winters closing in on themselves to make one big snow cavern at the square root of nowheresville.
January 20, 2010
I THOUGHT OF A WITTY TITLE BUT GOT SIDE TRACKED POSTING A COMMENT ON MRS GORMANS BLOG ABOUT ROBERT CLERGERIE SHOES AND CAN'T REMEMBER
January 7, 2010
I don’t have one. Well except for this.
I was nearly crying again today over the dishwasher when Julia, drunk, asked me what would make me happy.
I told her I would be happy the day I was able to accept that I am never going to be happy: That happiness is just not mine.
OH and for you:
Don’t tell him about the marriage dream.
And don’t mess it up with the nice one to go back to your old comforts uncomfortable of a prick. You will wail BUT WHY? BUT WHY? My body floats over the ocean like the Xi Quong crazy lady.
I thought about that while I cooked dinner.
January 6, 2010
i hate you
Crushed by one of these would be surely a great way to asphyxiate yourself?
December 4, 2009
November 30, 2009
November 27, 2009
We are back to normal now.
November 24, 2009
Last night I went to a wine tasting event. The sommelier was a lesbian, the owner had food stuck in his teeth. I hated all the wine bar one or two. The food was incredible. But it is a wonder I could eat at all with all the other revolting people there. There was a couple I despised the most. The man was dressed in a maroon velvet dinner jacket white shirt, no tie. The woman was dressed in an outfit that looked pieced together from airport duty free shops. I guess she was an airline stewardess cause her hair was tied back the right way. I guess he was just a general prick?
Today I had diarrhoea and every time I shit I have their two ghastly faces in my mind – them fawning over one another. She was practically melting into him. His back was straight but he was turned towards her as she sat around the giant table next to him. He wore a wedding ring. But he looked at her intently with every sip from his wine glass. With certainty it was the same face he has when he tries to drink deeply from her pussy. Only between her legs is as tidy and nothing untoward down there if her nose job is anything to go by. He could suck all night and he wouldn’t get anything from her. Not even a squeal.