Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

November 23, 2009

YOUR WORDS PIERCE MY BELLY LIKE A WROUGHT IRON RAILING POST. TO THINK I CONSIDERED LETTING YOU PISS ON ME.

1. Janitorial supplies

Please mention any shortages to Elizabeth, the cleaner from XXXXXXXX. We supply all toilet paper and hand paper towels. Have you checked the storage cupboards in the larger toilet? I refilled the larger cupboard just two Sundays ago so I would be surprised if there is a shortage. If these supplies have been exhausted, Elizabeth can obtain additional supplies in our ground floor or basement storage rooms. Whilst I do ask XXXXXXXX to ensure that all dispensers are refilled on a daily basis, it would be helpful if one of you could just remind Elizabeth when you next see her.

You are quite welcome to purchase additional supplies but I would not agree that these should be deducted from the cost of the extensive supplies which my firm provides.

2. Intercom

I had mentioned to one of your colleagues when I was briefly in the Shop last week that I was surprised that I had not been informed immediately in respect of your intercom fault. As I am primarily abroad, it is important that you advise me as soon as your intercom fails as this is on such a regular basis.

All of the other floors are functioning although the position of your temporary notice has blocked half of the speaker in the intercom which has reduced the audio capability for your neighbours.

I suspect a new handset will be required and I have asked both of my intercom contractors to advise. In terms of timing, I would not expect any response for about a week as neither contractor is that keen to work on the new system as it has proved so unreliable on your floor.

As I have invested in excess of £4,000 in installing the new system and trying to repair it, I am cautious to just throw another £1,000 or so at it. Somehow, the 3rd floor continues to be the only floor with difficulty.

3. Heating

I am pleased that you are happy with the heating system. One of your heaters had a missing fuse which we have replaced for you. There was mention that you wanted one additional heater fixed. This would require the removal of a cabinet and new wiring. If you want to do this, I would suggest you either contact my contractor direct or have your own engineer do this work at your cost.

4. Roof

I have checked the new roof on the back of the 3rd floor and incorporated additional insulation. It is now in a far better condition in terms of insulation than before. The only other option would be to completely replace the roof with an alternative system. I continue to notify my roofers on a daily basis in respect of the issue and hope they will visit shortly.

5. Facilities in kitchen

As the kitchen is now a shared facility, I would ask you to remind all your colleagues to keen the kitchen tidy at all times. I am surprised that despite there being two cleaners working on this area that it is frequently a mess with crockery left to dry on the sink and accessories for the dishwasher left lying around. Whilst I do clean up the place most Sundays, I would ask you to try to keep the place tidy.

In addition, I often wonder how you dry anythings washed in the sink. Do you want a regular wish for teatowels to be supplied?

6. Invoice for 3rd and 4th floor dilapidation work

I will be issuing my firm’s invoice in due course for the 3rd and 4th floor work in line with the agreed budget and remind you that full settlement has been agreed by 31st December.

November 17, 2009

you fucking poisonous bitch. a lie will always get found out.

November 16, 2009

I COULDN'T HAVE IMAGINED IT

XXXXXX – my god – i have had the worst weekend ever.
it ended up with me on my hands and knees vomiting for hours on saturday night
i got an email from XXXXXX telling me to fuck off and die [essentially]
was drinking at the star with XXXXXX new girlfriend and she started telling me about XXXXXX and XXXXXX bed
then today i went to the doctor having a meltdown and my GP wasnt there but a locum who is this batty old lady. she sent me around to her sisters house around the corner for a cup of tea.
i went around there and i told her and her exhusband about all these deep deep sadnesses in my life i never told anyone and it was totally amazing.
it was a crazy day.

=====

sorry for the XXXXXX’s but i absolutely cannot repeat this ever.

November 10, 2009

THE MAN I AM SEARCHING FOR IS SOMEWHERE OUT THERE SEARCHING FOR ME

DSC03954

“I don’t know what it is thing between us or what it will be but I really love hanging out with you. You are one cool cat and I really don’t want to stop.”

I certainly didn’t think it was going to turn into being cut dead and ignored while curled up onto the sofa together.

But whoever you are searching for me as longingly as I search for you, when you find me, please forgive me for every nipple I have shown, every asshole I have photographed, every dick I sucked and sniggered about it afterwards with my friends on the Internet. I can’t imagine that I will stop any time in the near or far future. But if you don’t want me to mention you I will do my best to keep a promise that I won’t.

November 5, 2009

WE SING IN UNISON

DEAR GOD

Can you hear me?

Can you hear me? Cause sure as hell he didn’t. I should shank him and do the world a favour. Well most of all me a favour cause I wouldn’t feel so dead.

And thanks for the thrush by the way – the gift that keeps on giving. It seems to have cleared up only in time to make way for the disappointment.

Although genuinely, thanks for the deli by the vet. The fennel salami I got today was really tasty.

November 3, 2009

2 LESSONS IN ONE

  • ……………………………………………..

  • NEVER MIX


  • BUSINESS


  • WITH PLEASURE

  • ……………………………………………………………..

  • NO GOOD


  • DEED GOES


  • UNPUNISHED

October 29, 2009

THE BOOK

Criminal Law and Procedure

Criminal Law and Procedure

Criminal Law and Procedure

October 28, 2009

A LONG TIME AGO

Text

You reminded me of these days as we sat at the place. I want to tell you of course. But I didn’t want to cry over a Margarita with extra salami.

October 27, 2009

FAKE BOOB JOB

Plastic Tits

You black, me red.

October 26, 2009

LA TOMATINA

Tomato Festival

I got so sick, so often, I had to have my tonsils out. But when I was younger and had a week I was sick off school with tonsillitis and had to take strong antibiotics. On the last day I got my period. I was traumatised. I blamed it on the medication. I cried and cried. Why did this have to happen to me? I didn’t want it to happen. I hated it. The blood coming out from between my legs, I was so ashamed. Pulling my knickers down and seeing the blood, knowing that I could be fertilised one day now made my heart rise in my throat and the weight of the universe rest on my shoulders. A cold fist. My mother showed no sympathy. Why should she? Her mother died when she was 14.

At dinner time we all sat at the table and my mother banged a huge saucepan full of unstrained tomato soup on the table. The seeds were all swimming around. I wanted to vomit. But I could not leave the table until I had finished.

October 23, 2009

THE SHAME

I am a throwawayfuck.

October 16, 2009

ARMADILLO

All day morning crying.

October 11, 2009

DATE WITH AN ITALIAN

Blueberry Muffin

September 30, 2009

I WENT TO HER FLAT AND SAW THIS PICTURE OF ME

All Women / All Men

And every man is the same

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