Today is a day I need to read the guide books again, check the bank balance and regroup before I step out into the lovely sunny morning it is here.
Yesterday I went to the Musée Dupuytren and saw all kinds of body parts in glass jars from the 1800’s. Looking at the babies and two headed unborn puppies wasnt so bad, because the babies DID look like Cabbage Patch Kids. The wax mould of vaginas with clitorises that were baby penisese NBD. What I found hard to stomach were the slices of heart, brain etc etc because it looked like some of the weird offaly food you see round Paris which makes me feel sick in the same way. But after that – I don’t feel so compulsed to see the museum of skin disease waxes which is probably more up my street.
The best thing I saw in Paris – and this was last time I was here – was the mineral museum at the whats-his-name and Marie Curié University.
Last night I was GUTTED to hear that I will miss the Fifi Chachnil shop opening in London on Saturday after Pippa sent me a text invitation. I will never forget the epic afternoon that Pippa and I spent looking for an elusive Fifi shop here in Paris and we were so fucking happy when we did. So thrilled in fact we bought A LOT.
Actually with that little dream over, I might check all my friends blogs to see what they are doing for a little inspiration.
One of the many reasons I hang out with the boys for Madame whenever she asks me. I have to say, I wasn’t there when this happened, but how fabulous that Madame recorded the event for all of us to see!
More interesting than this woman having a go at the Beyoncé routine is the kid in the background. What is she up to?
Even with the weekend misery, there was plenty of respite
I was hanging out with London’s coolest 7 year old kids who thought I was okay to make pirate maps with, play kerrplunk with, play hide and seek with, try and work my nerves by wrestling after bed time [but I remember the day Roy came into Shop at Maison B and used 'the voice of doom' and I tried it and it worked] and then had breakfast in bed with Pippa the next day.
For more on the lives of the Brooks Lee Jones family, you can always visit here madamesays.com
I have been in batten down the hatches meltdown mode this week and throwing myself into my work and totally switching off when I get home. Which made it so amazing to see the Lady Gang last night Philippa’s house for the dinner get together we do every so often. I did not take any pictures – came straight from work and had left my camera at home charging. Madame was there in one of Grandfather Lady’s old rubber skirts cut off to secretary length, The Cardinal had on a stunning black dress that was so ladylike she couldn’t reach up to get the canelle tin out of the cupboard, Mrs Kipling is undergoing a skin transformation – she was GLOWING and Mrs G was wearing RIPPED JEANS with the best vintage polka dot scarf from here to eternity. So amazing. Bette was also there and she was being super cute trying to avoid everyone. The drink of choice – Aperol & Prosecco / Cava whatever was opened. CHEESECAKE for dessert [The Cardinal's is legendary you know.]
Today I woke up at 1.30 wishing for some more Vietnamese Salad that Cards had prepared next to a slice of Spinach quiche. I lay in bed and tried to positively think it into my life but every time I peeked over the covers a side plate had not appeared on the windowsill… So I got up and decided to cook my own quiche with stuff I had in the fridge and freezer.
So it was a bit random – smoked salmon, braised fennel, spring onion and tarragon but at the same time it was a good combination and I was quite pleased with the results for my first ever quiche. Not as good as Philippa’s but not bad for a beginner.
In other news, osl.lameatnames.com is going really well – in fact the visits are blowing up so much so that valeria and I are sharing the hosting of files around three or four different sites trying to scrabble up some space. Oh shit – that reminds me I wanted to tell Pippa something about hosting videos. Brain ache now but I will do it tomorrow or later.
Oh yeah – Pippa and I had to have THAT conversation. The one that had been brewing for a while. We had kind of seen it coming but we never actually said anything to each other about it until last night. VINCENT D’ONOFRIO IS FAT!! I said I would still blow him, but as Pippa said “He has turned into a real man mountain.” Anyone else checked him out in series 8 of Law and Order: Criminal Intent? He always had a lot of screen presence – now he totally hogs the camera! [OJ LOL]
I’m gonna go catch some episodes. Meltdown is manageable. Not the best time at the moment, but the Lady Gang is always a wicked treat.
Fucking OMG I have just had a total time warp weekend starting on Friday where I feel like months have passed since I was last on planet Earth. I really need to behave like this more often – having dinner parties, not answering the phone, shirking responsibilities, making men dress in Babycham pyjamas etc. But now I am back my beauties with a report and recipes from THE FRIDAY THE 13TH DINNER PARTY.
I am a total leisure slut and would rather spend hours watching CSI than anything else. But, to allude to an air of sophistication about me other than being the main Thug Misses that I am, the first thing I set my mind to for dinner was WHAT TO DRINK? In the last two years, thanks to the indoctrination of the Cardinal I am now a “bubbly fun” convert so top of my list for drinks is always Prosecco or Cava with a little splash of something in the bottom. On Friday 13th I offered either Elderflower Cordial, Lingonberry Cordial, Larks Distillery Apple Liqueur or Clementine juice in a champagne glass filled up with £4.80 Cava from Sainbury’s.
Here you can see Pippa Brooks in self portrait looking as though she is about to give the glass a blow job in a very sexual aura kind of way. Credit to a very fine lady.
Then with the booze as an issue out of the way, the second thing in my mind was: HOW DO I START THIS FEAST? Et voila:
This is actually a salad recipe of The Cardinals that I feel a bit of a cheater ripping off and flipping back at her. Out of respect I can’t tell you the recipe other than it is dairy and chilli. Miam!
And here is the other one that I will tell you the recipe for! It is kind of one of those no quantity recipes and good for free-styling.
Hummus is yesterday’s news so welcome Minty Pea and Pecorino
Ingredients 2 big man handfuls or 3 little lady handfuls of fresh peas 1 handful of fresh mint leaves [of either sized hand depending on how much you like mint] 1 handful of grated Pecorino or Parmesan cheese 1 tablespoon of olive oil Juice from half a lemon Salt and Pepper Crackers [something crunchy]
If you have a hand blender, a food processor or a mortar and pestle moosh the peas and mint together til they become like a chunky paste. You could even in desperation put the peas in plastic bag, hold it closed and hit it with a wooden spoon then turn the bag out into a mixing bowl for the next step. Then mix the rest of the stuff in. Taste it. It should be tangy [lemon and cheese], minty [mint] and fresh [peas]. Twirk it til you like the balance. Then I think actually putting it on the biscuit part doesn’t warrant description. Booyah.
I got in the mail today the book LEAST WANTED by Flickr whoever you are leastwanted. If you have checked my blog before you will have seen the mug shots of the American dudes who have crooked ears, black eyes, freako sprung out hair, scabby lips, piercing eyes, 5 o’ clock shadows clutching their ID boards for the police records.
News for THURSDAY 11TH DECEMBER [tomorrow night!]: It is Miss Pippa Brooks’ birthday and she’s havin’ a party at the George and Dragon and I’m playing some records – as are gangs of other people too. COME.
In other news related to Pippa Brooks aka Madame: The last day of trading for Shop At Maison B is SATURDAY 13TH NOVEMBER. I heard that things will be going out at bargain prices that day so don’t miss out. I would go for a bit too much to drink, but I will be in Stockholm with Appareil making the video. Which I am very much looking forward to.
I REALLY MISS ABBIE AND LEE. Here is a picture of Coco, their cat, who is now living in Berlin with them. I can’t stop thinking about this picture. Maybe I should get Covvo to send me a full sized version to get printed for my house.
Also, just checked the Maison B blog and saw this video that Pippa made of the twin ‘hip rolling’. Mega LOLZ.
And although they will probably kill me for mentioning it – I just had the most mega laugh out loud moment when I was on the phone to a friend overhearing them have an argument with one of their parents about half a lettuce. It was the best thing ever.
With thanks to Madame and Cazza, the following post rinses their Flickr accounts cause until last night I did not have a camera. More on this in a minute.
There was a lot sitting around and drinking and waiting for something to happen when I arrived with Mr Crisp and Mrs Kipling to the Antony Price PRICELESS / TOPMAN launch. It wasn’t until I took the matter into my own hands [literally!! as shown above] that the action really took place… LOLZ! What a gorgeous thigh!
Max had been working very hard with Mrs Price on putting the range together and the launch to happen. Here he is with his ventriloquist dummy “Pippa” modelling an Antony Price suit which is part of the Savile Row collection. This suit is called the Joan Crawford. It is STUNNING.
INTERNET TIME WARP Sorry folks I just disappeared into a hole rinsing this blog for MP3’s and checking out all the amazing donut pictures
God so where was I?
Yes – back in another time warp. The DJ’s last night at TRAMP were really fucking awful. Alex T assures me that even though he spent a long time dancing, the music was hideous. He stayed later than me. To give you a feel as to the kind of tunes that were being played [probably on CD and not vinyl] check out the looks on the faces of Pippa and me. Okay? I think this picture speaks a thousand words.
There was a lot of booze too at the party. Max told me that he had to walk home cause when he sat on the bus, he wanted to be sick. I’m sure he wasn’t the only one. Cazza’s Facebook status update was rather telling this morning!! HAHAHA.
Mr Chip and Mrs Kipling kept it real by smoking toothpick blunts all night which we circulated round the table like a bunch of losers. Pippa even kept a straight face while talking to someone or other in a suit and a quick puff continued to pass the dutchie on the left hand side. Why we thought this game was so good I’ll never know.
And the night was officially declared by me “THE NIGHT OF 100% BABE HAIR”
As a child, my mother would never let me grow my hair long cause she said I never brushed it enough and I had to have it short [with a rat's tail - her only compromise with me] until I was OLD. What a crying shame as it is quite clear that I have naturally babish hair. Other girls who are worthy of this title are Manara, The Cardinal, Cazza and Mistress of the Goodvibes Universe.
I also loving Pam Hogg’s hair. Back in Tasmania, my sister and I used to copy her clothes out of i-D magazines and sew them for ourselves cause we couldn’t buy anything decent back then. This shade of pink for Pam is really beautiful!
And check out Mr Chips shirt properly:
As this picture was taken, I was giving him a wedgie. But don’t we still both look so glamorous and manage to keep it together for the camera!! That folks is true style.
On that note from another evening from my fabulous life, I bid you good night [unless I find some other killer YouTube video or something a bit later.]
TWO TIMES IN ONE DAY!! First my Auntie sent me an email about the YearOfTheDragonWikkid.doc which is basically a number/list thing chain letter. I did it just because I was actually really busy today and when that happens, anything to procrastinate. The upshot of the Auntie chain email thing is that Pippa Brooks knows me well, Jasmine is my Lucky Star, the song A$$ Clap by Khia makes me think of Silverlink, I connect the song Hairbraider with my ex Paul [I know!! MEGALOLZ!!] who I really care about but just don’t get along with This Guy’s In Love with You by Sasha Distel is my state of mind and I’m In Luv With A Stripper is how I feel about life. SO RANDOM. I am supposed to pass the email onto 9 other people due to the number I wrote down at the beginning of the whole questionnaire but as I really am not into this kind of thing at all I wasn’t going to bother.
The rules are set by Simon Reynolds [dunno who he is]: “List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.” Only I don’t know 7 other people who write blogs so I won’t be spreading this around. It is true – I am that self obsessed. However please if you feel the urge feel free to post your top 7 as a comment to this post. Remember you can post with Live ID [remember that hideous moment when I had to switch of anonymous posts cause of the shit stirrer trying to make trouble between me and my ex and his new girlf? LOLZ - it didn't work! The 'alleged perpetrator' of that posting crime is now single. I hope they are crying their eyes out on their pillow every night... Awww that wasn't very nice of me. But that is cause I'm such a bad person I guess.]
So here are my 7 tracks:
Khia My Neck My Back
Well I am not ACTUALLY listening to this song at all – but it is rolling around in my head due to the substantial neck injury I have sustained recently. I have to comment that my neck has improved a whole lot more today after receiving an amazing massage that I was trying not to enjoy too much and keeping my knees together cause I was in the presence of children as well as a total babe. Khia always reminds me of Pippa – because she used to have the Thug Missus CD. That is still a joke like 6 or 7 years later.
Amon Duul II Archangel Thunderbird
I KNOW!! A Prog Rock track made by Krauts while lying in bed and tripping on acid. In fact the comments on YouTube are like “chaos6270 (1 month ago) best version of this is on the live in london album did some good trips to that.” SO NOT ME but I love this song. Please excuse the hideous video. It was the least offensive I could find.
Kap Bambino New Breath
I’d also like to sneak in SAVE by Kap Bambino as well but I don’t want to expend too many of my choices to the same band. I think I might have post them before as well.
Roger Miller Dang Me
This song reminds me of my father getting totally shit faced and listening to his Roger Miller album and singing this song over and over. I remember him from when I was really little driving home drunk, coming out of the car covered in sick and my mum having to hose him down in the back yard. There are a number of Roger Miller videos on YouTube but only from when he is an old man with too much Botox. Okay so obviously it looks like I dunno WTF I am doing cause I forgot about this song SLK – Hype Hype and but liked the story of my vomiting father. The Cardinal and I after enough to drink will be bouncing down any Dalston Street getting all Hype Hype. Oh and old jokes! I used to crack Nameless up singing round the house “Hype Hype Lotion Hype Hype Lotion Gonna Get You Wid Da Hype Hype Errrrghhh”.
This version is the remix of the original song, featuring Dick Rules, and DJ Mark Acardipane. So fucking hard to pick which Scooter song I love the best but this is pretty fantastic. Guaranteed to get me super hyped at the right time! Watching this makes me miss all my family in Hamburg that I never get to see enough. And OMG you need to check them out back in the day. Okay and before they were a rave band, they were THIS:
Pineapples Come Closer
Best song. I love this so much. This is how I feel when I fall in love and get all mushy and teenage again. The best feeling ever.
Those who know me, know that this song is on my ALL TIME GREATEST SONGS EVER OF EVER EVER EVER and whenever it comes on where ever I am I am just flipping out all over the room. Like these two… I am trying to make head or tail of this video as I type. I bet her mother must be proud. And I bet that guy is really proud of himself. So awkward. And who was the camera person?
And as an aside to this whole 7 videos thing
J Smoov in the parking lot. How is that that kids the the UK can only come up with shanking in the 02 centre carpark here in Finchley Road? Shouldn’t they be up to a load of sexual healing in the sunshine good times with their homes after training on the track team Stateside?
THURSDAY UPDATE: Another reason why I hate writing lists like this is now today if I were to list again, it would be TOTALLY different. I mean, I forgot Sexy Results that I listen to once a day, In Flagranti, Tom Ware, Hikashu, YMO blah blah and DJ mixes from all my favourite usual suspects – DJ Venom, DJ Guy, Bok Bok & Manara, Goon & Koyote, Bitch Ass Darius etc.
We all replaced lunch with cake – or in my case, I sipped Lucozade from a tea cup. These pics are all by Sarah Lee who sometimes pops up in the Maison B videos with her camera of the new season A.P.C. and Pippa in a SONIA by Sonia Rykiel skirt.
Fellow gorgeous Australian Caz. We call her “Princess Margaret in the period before she burnt both her feet”.
Madame. I wish I knew what was going through that guys mind. At least he knew he had to stand behind the yellow line cause Pippa Brooks was coming through…
Yours Truly repping one for the Tassie R Kelly fans from behind the desk cause it was the coolest, darkest spot in the whole shop. I’m gonna send this to my Mum so she can print it out for my Dad to put in his room.
Lisa Legs with the figure of a Barbie doll – she is my favourite Maison B ‘model’. Here she looks a little bit like a teenager in a crazy bedroom with all her favourite pictures. Also it has a nice view of a few of the Madame A Trois in the corner of the shot.
NOW TO RUIN THE ILLUSION OF GLAMOUR
How it really was… A bunch of mentals with a Neanderthal in the corner.
I’m now very used to this wet weather, even though I’m longing for summer. It seems being cooped up indoors is driving a lot of other people mad but I pulled on my Tretorn wellies today and stomped into Soho to pick up some ‘clap’ I had left there.
[N.B. I got a message from my Japanese friend Noriko who told me she was 'talking clap'. Oh how I laughed.]
While there, Pippa and I took loads of pics out on the street of dresses and all sorts. Then the rain got too heavy and we were indoors rolling around on the floor taking pictures of all the t-shirts in Shop At Maison B for the Shop website.
Pippa is really into all the OBEY t-shirts – she is really into the artwork. So her. I really like the new SONIA by Sonia Rykiel [pronounced Rik-i-el - like Rikki off Eastenders okay?]
I went and visited Max again today and listened to him cry that his plants were getting murdered, bitched out all and sundry and drank cups of tea. Then we walked into town and I stopped off at Milk Bar my new favourite favourite – superseding Flat White [but it is okay cause it is the same peeps] for a BonSoy Soy Latte THE BEST BEST of my mega favourite ever. Well not only for the coffee but I was dropping off some Madame A Trois tea cup and saucer for them.
Obvs don’t shit at how great they are. But if you can’t stretch to £29 for one of the china trios, now you can stop off at Milk Bar on Bateman Street and borrow one while you have your tea.
After the perfect coffee and a happy chat I went down the road to Maison B where Tania had another exhibition opening – for photos of Noel Fielding by some guy called Nobby. I was a little nonplussed by this exhibition tho’ liked it a bit more than the real Noel Fielding exhibition. In fact, here is the best part of the exhibition:
There were bottles of wine and plates of these everywhere, about 9 paparazzi around waiting for Noel Fielding to show up – when he did and he was saying ‘Hiya’ to that girl who is in the band with the one going out with Kate Moss – blubs were flashing all over the place like men in Macs on the heath.
In the background, Max, Pippa and I were ‘chillin’ to Imagination tracks and Max even did some erotic dance routines. I hope he ends up in Heat magazine.
‘No No we aren’t up to anything…’ Max was looking very Yacht Rock today as well. So a good look for men. Oh and he has this AMAZING pyjama shirt he is gonna wear as a real shirt. AMAZING. The best dressed man I know.
Anyway that girl who’s name I can’t even remember was wearing these cowboy shoes that made her feet look like two giant crow beaks. But she does have a pretty smile. I remember DJing for them once at Cherry Jam – and she was on the mic, he was on the guitar, and the rest of their band was an iMac – I think in Bondi Blue, hidden behind a flight case. And this was well into like 2002 or 2003.
Finally, here is a picture of Ceephax Acid Crew on a recent tour in Holland that I have been meaning to show everyone.
And just for the glory of the universe, here is the picture Cardinal took on holiday of the monkey who by all pink appearances appeared to be very fond of her. I re-visit this picture on her Flickr quite frequently as his hair-do REALLY cracks me up. It is a totally bogan do and I remember boys at the neighbouring school – New Town High School in their PB’s and acid wash jeans with hair like this [except a mullet at the back] getting off the hostel bus on a Sunday night on Tower Road.
Last night was dinner in Camden with Mrs Kipling, Jazz, Caz, RJ and Cardinal where we discussed such matters as ‘There you go!’, ‘Suprise!’ etc, Fletcher Jones skirts, the tortures of boarding school in the UK pre 1984 [I think], errr actually I can’t really remember – besides it was all highly confidential and my life would not be worth living if I were to repeat it all. In a nutshell: XXCENSOREDXX. Madame Pippa couldn’t make it with some flimsy excuse about having to take care of her children [if she heard Mrs Kipling's stories leaving her children at home unsupervised with pots of boiling oil on the stove, no clothes, a wet concrete floor and no fresh supply of oxygen would sound and even more appealing way to take care of her kids than the butch dykes in aviator sunglasses at Mrs Kipling's school...]