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December 12, 2007

WAKEY WAKEY

I woke up this morning after the most weird dreams I have had for a long time. Basically, Prancehall and I became friends like true playas and his family lived under my appartment. I had really luxurious cream carpet. Even so, I could hear Prancehall or his father coughing through the floorboards. Then I was in this large place like a school – it was like my college in Tasmania but the rooms had been upgraded since I was there. I went into the toilet and my mother had written this note about the toilet paper blocking the toilets and there was bloody toilet paper wrapped around the handle for flushing the toilet. Later I walked in on Prancehall who had just done his own poo while talking to Venom who was just in a little cupboard room next door. I told Prancehall to flush the toilet. It was full of poo and blood and paper. Anyway – then through the rest of the dream where I was waiting for Roxy to get her laptop, talking on the phone and then he appeared in front of me the US agent for Katharine Hamnett and calling Prancehall on the mobile even though he was in the same room cause we were friends now and it seemed like mega fun.

So – lets look at yesterday’s events which led me to be dreaming like this.

After a LOOOOOOONG day at the office – tantrums, tears, bollockings etc it was the work Christmas party. We got free tickets to Les 7 Doits Circus or whatever it was at The Roundhouse. Thank God we didn’t pay and everyone was pretty dissapointed. There was like only one really hot guy who took his top off. Then we went to The Mango Room for our work Christmas dinner. For the record I want it to be known that I had opted for dinner and cocktails at Julie’s and I never agreed to the trapese show to music like Cold Play. Came home wanting to kill myself after the most hideous day ever.


Jess from work. ‘Dont get on my bad siiiiiide”


My dinner – Goat Curry. Just like Sean Paul cooks me when I back at his.

I continued a conversation on AIM with Prancehall and Venom that I had started earlier under the table at the christmas dinner. Basically, after ascertaining the true circumstances in which Prancehall told Venom I’m selfish, Prancehall was trying to convince me that either one of my friends should get with Venom OR I should get with Venom. And the only reason why Venom acts so weird and awkward around me is cause he really likes me. So then I asked Venom and he said “You wish you are old and have an ugly minge and are probably a bad shag.” Maybe Prancehall and Venom should try it out together. Prancehall obvs really likes Venom so much so he is trying to get Venom to have sex so that he can go home and obscess about being cupid. Maybe even sexually obscess. Who knows. Venom spends half his time hating me or liking me. Maybe I am selfish cause I only like Venom when he is liking me. We also discuss Venom’s recent toilet troubles.

Then when I got to bed I reviewed all text messages I got from friends today that dont require urgent attention – as I usually do – and replied to one from Alex T where I told him what a bummer my day had been and how Prancehall had just been trying to convince me to have sex with venom. Alex T’s thoughtful response was “Go On! I heard he has a dick like a coke can.” Again for the record – firstly: this doesn’t actually sound that appealing and secondly: I have slept with two guys who had dicks not unlike this description before. I know what I like and what I don’t. When I realised Alex T wasn’t joking I called him back to ask for his address. I’m gonna store it up and kill him later. [Actually FYI if Alex T actually get's murdered in his bed - I'm not actually going to shank him.]

Oh God – am reminding myself of so many things I could write about here. Here is a list reminder: Karl, Smiler, Movie about the woman getting stabbed in the back, To Pimping!, Denzel Washington, more efficient without cotton on the body.

I have to get to work. I told myself before I started I could only type for 15 minutes.

xx Lektrogirl

December 3, 2007

POWER POO

I am so proud of myself making this picture for Nick Abrahams. He really excelled himself with poo pics on my facebook, but then I did this one!! I feel a bit like the day I was laughing at my own jokes – who was it in front of – Cardinal I think. How embarressing.

xx Lektrogirl

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