Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

January 3, 2011

LADY GARDEN

another couple

To drown out the sound of my upstairs neighbours having sex on their sofa, I am chomping through a packet of Monster Munch as loudly as I can. To follow with the current them of gorging since Christmas day I am keeping up the diet by sharing 8 mini chicken kievs with Hobart while we wait for the Sainsbury’s delivery. I have fared quite well with my holiday diet – alcohol, cakes, chocolate, clafoutis, swigging lemonade from the bottle, biscuits, vietnamese banquets. My cold is not quite better but I am feeling a bit thrushy round the lady garden. Errr diet of crap everyone? You will all be pleased to know I bought a bottle of acidophiles [spelling? too lazy to get off sofa and check.]

In other lady garden news, the Monster Munch were actually in celebration of the fact there were “some signs” from the joint lady garden of Abbie and Lee. Namely, Lee polished off a Milk Tray to herself in 10 seconds. Long awaited but no-one is very excited as this has been the slowest baby in the universe. Let’s hope it makes it out by 2012 shall we?

And even though not in the garden and more in the “top tummy” region, [Dame Edna's best joke ever], a lady friend has some kind of cysty boil on her nipple. Ergh. She is apparently going to the doctor today. All I could say was “Take a picture in case they lance it.” I sent that message and I wanted to send “Please take a video while they lance it” but felt that was on the wrong side of concerned. Instead I spent a while googling images for “nipple cyst”. It has been a while guys hasnt it?!?!?!?! There was something about my lunch of exploding mini kievs that stopped me from watching any videos. Most interesting picture I found was OF A RAT who had a cyst on its nipple WHO CHEW IT OPEN ITSELF.

The rat is apparently called Izzy. I’d like to think as in Stradlin. Probably not.

December 11, 2010

BABY SHOWER

I’ve been awake since 7.30 today when the Ocado delivery arrived with the balance of ingredients for my baking mission for Lee and Abbie’s pre baby good luck Lee hello baby party.

So far I have made cannele bordelais, half a strawberry, rosemary & pear sponge,  mousse aux fruits, gin and tonic jelly [aka glibber] and I am about to embark on poppyseed biscuits and macarons. For some reason I have also become obsessed with the idea of some kind of panacotta thing. Suggestions on a postcard please really quickly.

Hobart hates me today [or loves me]. So far she has had to endure 2 hours of vintage Mexican love songs and now we are onto Dr Dre. It was with a great pleasure of hers I am sure she stuck her arse right in my face. For those of you who are intimate on Facebook will get to see the picture. Everyone else you will have to miss out I am afraid. If my face was not covered by Hobart’s rear end, I seriously look like a par boiled Christmas ham.

A-Dogg is going to come over tonight and I will experiment with making beetroot spaeztle for a veal and pumpkin stroganoff-esk dinner.

Enough procrastination. I have been avoiding attempting the macarons as I havent made any for a while and I am worried I’ve lost a bit of a hand.

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