Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

April 27, 2008



I dragged Cardinal out last night cause she was a bit down over Jamal passing. Please all bare with me cause it is so difficult to not be making pussy / waking up next to a stiffy / mouse to mouse etc jokes cause it is also really sad. Out of respect for Jamal I just can’t disrespect his memory.

We went to PUSH and drank £2 whisky and cokes with Michael who’s new hair cut makes him look like an Air Commodore [it is really good! tip for the Summer boys!] and had a great laugh. Momentarily, I was struck cause on of the DJ teams played Runaway by Del Shannon and I was immediately transported back to the age of 6-7 dancing in my family living room on the circle mat listening to the songs’ words and the melody and having feelings inside of me about love and loss and pining for someone. Like suddenly becoming aware of things like a broken heart and wanting to be the Runaway. So either I was incredibly EMO from a very young age / have always believed in love / kids generally are very aware adult concepts from a young age. Anyway – it was really lovely to be drunk with friends and reminded of that really great moment in my life.

Another great moment was seeing this person slink around with a tail of pissy toilet paper hanging out the back of her jeans. I laughed so hard I nearly had to go up to her and as her for a piece to wipe myself down.

OMG!! XXCENSOREDXX was there looking matronly. Possibly one of the worst dressed people in London on a regular basis. She could actually fill heat’s “What were you thinking” page every week.

And this guy was a classic dancer! It turns out to be a guy called VINCENT LARKIN [thnx HML] and he was really busting some incredible moves when he hit the floor. Later on in his dance routine, a friend of his was on the floor with his legs in the air and our new best friend Vincent was dry humping him like a crazed miniature dog. FOR A LONG TIME. Everyone just stood around gawking in amazement. Then further on, he was on his hands and knees pretending to give another guy head to the music. It was a really spectacular show.

And Ronojoy was the most wasted I had ever seen him. I have heard reports but not been there in person. We were dancing to some Cotton Eyed Joe track [no clue what the track was some boys music] and in the middle of it all, Ronojoy stopped and started to do what appeared to be coughing up a fur ball in the middle of the room. Actually I think he thought he was going to puke. But he held it down and kept dancing. My personal hero. It is also nice to know that guy in the background thinks so much of us. No wonder he is alone with no friends there being so antisocial. LOL.

OH there are so many jokes to tell you from last night… LOL… I was very surprised to see Prancehall behind the decks with his mates ‘grooving’ along to Happy Song by Baby’s Gang. Baby’s Gang is not an East End grime crew FYI. Maybe he got confused and thought it was Chipmunks little brother?

AND BEFORE I FORGET! It was the Little Witch’s birthday yesterday evening. Lots of screeching and shoes flying through the air with high kicks and slutty dancing from the Witch who doesn’t look a day over 21. As he boyfriend is only 23 it is just as well!! [As she said - 'The youth of today!'] The Witch has always liked Pepsi Max though [The Taste of the Next Generation. YGM] Anyway the party vibes were enough that The Air Commodore even took off his cardi. Or was it that we were in a big gay sweatbox?

And finally

There is now the Booty Photo War that I started and now The Cardinal is retaliating getting The Air Commodore to do her dirty work. Thank GOd there was no crack.

xx Lektrogirl

December 10, 2007


Back from Germany the two cake plates I had tried to pack in my suitcase got smashed, but the matching cups and saucers survived. It felt like a knife through my heart when I pulled the shards form my suitcase. It really broke my heart. I get upset over the most stupid things.

Hamburg was absolutely incredibly as ever. I had an amazing birthday party. I also had incredible times with everyone who came – Manara, Goon & Koyote, Cardinal and Pip who I met for the first time. So loving it. But I also really enjoyed the time I got to spend on my own walking around familiar streets thinking about my own things an contemplating all the big things that have changed in my life recently. I’m really looking forward to next year.

I was so lucky to have my Spiritual Guru so close to give me such wise advice. Booty gives the best advice about all problems. And his advice is so obvious and fitting that I always end up feeling stupid and embarrassed for having asked the question in the first place.

I wanted to write all amazing things about the trip and the stuff we did and the incredible jokes and the things I bought but I’m already too exhausted from only one day back at work. Then I got on the AIM to XXCENSOREDXX who told me that over pizza, XXCENSOREDXX told him that I was selfish and a bad friend. We nearly came to ignoring each other for 6 months again but I can’t be bothered.

Cardinal has invited me to a Christmas karaoke thing on Friday night which I hope I have time to go to. Thursday night is Pippa’s birthday and Noel Fielding’s art exhibition opening. What the hell can his stuff be like? Wednesday is dinner with Pascale and Reuben [I hope!!!] and Tuesday night is the work Christmas party. Can’t wait to go home. Mum says it is 32 degrees centigrade. Read it and weep.

I also have a great story to tell about an amazing dinner I had with Deano from Real Gold tonight after I dropped off some Limited Edition Katharine Hamnett t-shirts to his store on Ganton Street in Soho. He has t-shirts that have just come from the printers in colour ways that were only printed in colour ways of 4-6 each. We went to Bodeans and had burnt back ends but that is a whole other thing and really I’m tooooo tired.

Until I get the chance to write again, here is a porcine porcelain gift to all my fans

xx Lektrogirl

October 16, 2007


Seems there are big changes on the street. Big news that big knits really hit the big time and even Jammer was trying to give away his hoodie. A lot.

The other night I went down to Cargo and whooped it up on the whiskey sours with Raggatha Christy and took the opportunity to cast my expert eye over the Ruff Sqwad.

Rapid, FudaGuy and Slix.

Rapid is really a Yacht Rock guy and only a few steps away from joining Duran Duran on Simon Le Bon’s boat. Slix dresses like he kind of is, but his shoes look like an indi boy. FudaGuy… Cap is a little bit 8-Ball Lucky Strike with the embroidered dice, but I guess he is big on the stitches with the hat like that, the embroidered Pink Panther on the knee and the ICE-B embroidery on the pocket.

See – ICE B

I’m really not into these jeans and even less into his pants. They look really cheap and nasty and infact, the entire outfit could have been bought at Camden market.
At the next Ruff Sqwad gig I have half a mind to present Fuda Guy with a selection of new undies. I am opposed to so much hanging out, for real. Imagine if he does a sloppy fart or something! FudaGuy could to be painted with the Ginuwine brush for example – Versace undies would be great. I am thinking that maybe Vilebrequin in the Moorea traditional boxer short cut would be great if FudaGuy really wanted to go round with his bum out. Vilebrequin also do incredible cotton boxers embroidered with strawberries or bees [if a girlfriend buys you these, she is a keeper.] About 2000 times better that Polo. Finally another option could be from Clone Zone on Old Compton Street. I know it is a Gayer shop and the pants are for Gays but the brand is called XTG – almost like XTC – YGM??!!

Here is Scholar who I am deeply in love with. He wears the coolest sunglasses and he has a beautiful smile. A big smile fixes everything. But sadly he is wearing one of those rotton t-shirts. I don’t think much of all the slogan t’s rolling around the East End these days. These ones in particular are pretty painful because I am almost certain that they aren’t made from organic cotton. Conventional cotton – like the cotton used in these bulk t’s that printers supply you cost them .70p each – represents 10% of world agriculture and uses 25% of the world’s pesticides. 20,000 people die every year from accidental pesticide poisoning in conventional cotton agriculture. I can also be pretty sure that the inks on those garments are not water based inks and probably contain PVC.

Now Scholar is hiding in shame cause his t-shirt is so wrong and FudaGuy is suffering from all the chemicals and pesticide residue in his t-shirt.

[if people are really interested in looking for better quality (better in quality because they are better for the environment) for printing on, you should contact me and i can maybe get you a hook up. no time wasters.]

Here is Slix up close.
The Wikipedia Handerchief guide says that a black bandana means the wearer is into heavy S&M Pain and wants to whip others (if worn on left); wants to be whipped (if worn on right). Ah so Slix, what you into?!!

And forget about Claire’s Accessories, this is Slix Accessories.

Rapid really wipes the floor with the rest of Ruff Sqwad in the fashion stakes, smart, clean, sexual. Look at Slix little fat face here – he looks like one of the Fat Boys! So check this:

YACHT ROCK!! WOO HOO!! So beautiful. Deano from Real Gold was also wearing some of these last night and I noticed that they are Clarks. Personally I would get the Sperry Top Sider from Zappo’s OR the Rockport Bridgesport for guys and Sebago Docksides for women.

What is in the bag though? From the bump in the side it could contain a tampon, lipgloss or a battery. Cardinal suggested it looks like a bag for a travel hair dryer. Nicely unwashed denim vibes. Totally Hard Yakka early ’90s vibe. Though of course, all that Hard Yakka stuff that came out over here and got worn by Oasis was all fake. Hard Yakka [and tougher it'd rust] is made for jackroos in the Australian Outback. Where it is fucking hot. A sheepskin lines denim jacket just did not exist. Until workwear was cool over here and everything got faked up.

xx Lektrogirl


This is my cousin Lucy in Thailand chilling at her crib. Don’t mess or she be throwing shade. This is REAL GOLD. You get me?!

xx Lektrogirl


Big Word! Nelly’s fashion line Apple Bottoms has finally hit meez.com – Praise!!

I actually saw a REAL girl on the tube once wearing a pair of Apple Bottoms jeans with big embroidered apples on each pocket. I was kind of blown away.

Last night was really fun. Was round at ASBO’s crib with Zara, Cardinal, Ronojoy and Deano and had a really delicious dinner. Late night and early start and I’m feeling it. I can’t believe that Ronojoy remembers me from a 10 minute meeting 3 years ago – amazing. Watch this space people cause W.S.P.P. might actually be happening. Can’t give too much cause I know there are always haters trying to peep my steelo. But here is a clue:

xx Lektrogirl

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