Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

May 28, 2010


To preface this post with a picture of fake shit is a little bit negative to say the least. But what I would like to illustrate is: to find good shit you have to wade through a lot of bad. As you will agree, some of the shits above are better than others – in infact you could end up with a bag of marbles.

The most recent date was wonderful. When his face smiled, so did his eyes. So mine did too. And we recognised it in one another and it was the thing that was missing in the first two dates.

The date tonight nearly lost his chance when I received an email saying “I’m hung over can we change the date?” and I said “That is really poor form”. It received an instant apology and a pledge that he would be there at the appointed time.

What he secretly doesn’t know is that I am feeling a little shallow of mind [and a bit like the subject of the picture above] after too many beers at an exhibition at the Timothy Taylor exhibition of Sean Scully paintings last night and noodles on Kingly Street with my buddies. One thing you might like to know about Timothy Taylor is that he isn’t a bad looking man, tight as arseholes, and glasses that are nice but just don’t quite suit his face. They are statement frames and just too big. The day I am introduced to him I will let him know.

Finally, I called Mrs Kipling this morning just to tell her I love her. She and I had such a laugh at the statment made in The Guardian relating to the fact that the lastest serial killer caught has a profile on their dating site and warning and apologies ensued.

Kindest regards from the depth of Mayfair

April 8, 2010


I don’t have it but I got the day off today. I will be working remotely on the end of year accounts. Last night I had a rainy strange dream that I was back working at Katharine Hamnett with the lawyer wearing a ginger wig, the PA, the rest of the staff all mixed in back to when I was also the visual merchandiser at Urban Outfitters when the first store opened here on Kensington High Street. I will put the crazy dreams down to eating too much with the Cardinal at El Parador – the Portuguese restaurant in Mornington Crescent I am eternally grateful to Mrs Kipling for introducing it to me [and the rest of the Lady Gang.] We had a roast beetroot, raddiccio and pinenut dish I am craving right now!

Mutts is having a hysterectomy today and my sister and I are discussing gross out facts like pads in the vagina to stop it from growing over after the op, her cat Harley stealing chicken right out of my niece Chloe’s mouth, telling the kids I ate brain and the look of horror on their faces, Dad will live to 100 and will definitely keep lying until his final moment as to how he has fallen out of his chair [third time today in as many weeks - just waiting for the other hip to snap...], reminiscing about Cherry Choc Wedges at the Royal Hobart Hospital kiosk and their demise, eating tongue or tripe in Scotland. It was a nice sisterly moment that doesn’t always happen between us.

I am counting down the days until I see my fambles again – on the 24th I will be touching down at Hobart International Airport. I’m not joking. It really is a slightly fancy giant corrugated iron shed.

June 22, 2009



What a life!

June 1, 2009


Shit The Bed

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