Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

August 19, 2007

SUNDAY NOT FUN DAY

HOT CHOCOLATE: Emma

Spoke with Mum this morning and was telling her the latest with Nameless: All about this girl who he has been hanging out with. Apparently he told her “Emma thinks you hate her.” Do you HATE it when people do that? Particularly as Nameless is prone to do – get the whole thing arse about face – seeing as I actually hate this girl myself as Nameless has been telling me all about how he thinks that this girl might be flirting with him, and he isn’t actually particularly interested in ACTUALLY her, but to have sex with someone would be nice. I totally freaked out, completely heartbroken and cried for two days. My poor mother listened to the who boring story and then said “Emma, Nameless is a loser. I don’t know why you don’t just shut the door in his face and let him ruin his own life, instead of yours.” Having said that I know that Mutts actually likes Nameless too. But she does think he is a loser. Hahaha. I told her that she is right, but I don’t have anyone else to fix my wireless network when it’s down so to cut him out totally would be a mistake. She said “I see your point.”

In more jolly news, I went out with Brains, Philippa and James last night to Bar Du Marche for dinner. I had worked for Max in the office doing his personal accounts which was fun – we had lunch at the New Piccadilly and cunted a few people out while we worked. Then after finishing early, I went and hooked up with Philippa and James, had a glass of the WAG’s curse Rosé and we waited for Brains who had been hanging out with DJ Magic. Brains said Hi and gave a massive grin. His teeth were FULL of black shit – he had been talking all afternoon with Jerk Chicken between his teeth to DJ Magic. All night Brains was telling me “I’ve got Jammer’s number – why don’t you ring him?”

I can’t decide from dinner which picture is funnier. They both crack me up equally:

Dinner was really nice and plenty of jokes all round. I even told the story of getting hit by a car.

SISTERS OF MERCY: Emma

So what’s with all the Emma videos? At work, Roxy plays Roxanne a lot and we sing it to her [with our own lyrics] but we also have all being trying to think up songs for all the other names of the girls in our office. We need a Jo, Jess, Cissi, Kellie, Alice, Katharine and Emma is definitely covered thanks.

And on my final note right now – Nameless, please don’t make me have to roll up to the Old Blue Last one night in a blonde wig and glitter shoes to sing this at someone:

xx Lektrogirl

June 3, 2007

CALL BACK THE SEARCH PARTY

Hysterial was swiftly averted just moments ago… I searched the house high and low for my Agent Provocateur Crista bra in fushia/pink and I couldn’t find it anywhere. It isn’t like I don’t have a dozen A.P. bra’s already [or infact that I just bought another one practically identical today...] it is just I wanted to wear THAT ONE today. I couldn’t image where it could have gone to. Maybe ASBO D had snuck into my flat while I was at work and snuffled through my intimates drawers [apparently Prancehall dressed as a girl and went to an Ann Summers party. No Homo?] Anyway – so I found my bra, my attack of the vapours subsided and now I am back in a jolly mood wondering if I should have bought the Clementine bra today as well. ASBO D I’m a 34B. You get me?

I’m waiting for Brains to send me the pictures of Thugly’s birthday the other night [Thugly = ASBO D]. All I have is this:
After ASBO D's party.
Wow! Frickin hot and totally sexual but I know Brains took some beauties at the party.

I’m so obsessed with this song:

Do you think David + Victoria Beckham paid for Victoria’s video and wrote it off against their personal tax bill that year? Victoria’s dancing leaves a lot to be desire. The two girls at that Real Gold party the other night in the 80’s evening dresses who fell over in the ghetto tech battle cause they were so drunk and tried to cover up with some floor humping moves [even tho' one ho had lost her shoe and the otherone had clearly lost more than her balance] has A LOT more going on that that. Dane is a pretty decent dancer for a white British man.

Now let’s analyse this:

WHO THE FUCK was the Art Director on this video?! Where did they pluck the idea for this from? Camden Market? Poor Another Level. HOW EMBARRASSING. Hey – I’ve got a great idea for the next Roll Deep video – let’s make them all wear lederhosen, take them to Bavaria and make them eat pork sausages! But back to the Another Level video – compare it with the following video from Sisters of Mercy:

I just had another brain wave! Let’s get Andrew Eldritch and Doktor Avalanche dressed in Cassette Playa t-shirts and Evisu jeans… Ahhhh that is impossible anyway… Doktor Avalanche is a drum machine…

More later xx Lektrogirl

P.S. What is the bet ASBO D clicked the link to check out what the Clementine bra looked like?

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