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January 24, 2010

TIPS FOR DIY

There are two very very important things that I tell myself every time after completing a home DIY project. And I forget every time when it comes round to do the next project. Let me share them with you and maybe you will benefit from this knowledge.

1] NEVER use the screws supplied for fixtures that are to go into mortar. The heads of the screw always “melt”, even with a hand screw driver, making it impossible to get the screw in or out. ALWAYS buy your own screws from the hardware store.

2] SNOOP DOGG & DR DRE are the two best artists to listen to while performing DIY tasks. Their soundtracks provide reasonable aggression, humour and focus and put you into the right frame of mind / swagger to get any job done in minimal time.

Thanks for listening.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. If you have not cracked up at “I Love The DJ” by R Kelly yet, take a look on YouTube and you sure will.

July 31, 2008

DARK ROOM CHILLAXXX

Yerrr so I realise I am in a hiphop time warp back in 2001 but you know – that year was good! That was back when I was still buying CD’s, the sun was hot, and the kids in the neighbourhood were singing “Smoke weed everyday” as they cruised around in cute pink tracksuits and clean reebok shell suits. They all have kids now, the tracksuits don’t look quite so sexy and the guys have long hair, headbands and dark red bags under their eyes. I guess they took it literally.

Poking fun at them I have to admit that I look as ravaged as one of those playas this morning as I spent the night tossing and turning not able to sleep properly and waking up with sore nipples and a painful spot on my face that will give give agony but come to nothing. Obviously I am not reaching menopause just yet. I am so tired though I had to shut myself into a dark room for a little while and listen to Snoop Dogg and remember the sun [there are no windows here today] while I crave a roast beef, horseradish and watercress sandwich on fresh white bread.

Yesterday was my first attempt at Choux Pastry and I made Cream Puffs for two of my favourite men in the world who congratulated me on my efforts. I was so happy. It was real job satisfaction. I will post the recipe I used – sadly there are no picture cause I ran the battery down trying to make a video of it but even that didn’t work cause the batteries ran out half way through. I can either be domestic goddess or techy whizz – just not both at the same time it seems.

xx Lektrogirl

July 26, 2008

BODY KISS


When doves cry.

I have been listening to nothing by The Isley Brothers for the last couple of days. I reckon I could be a great mini cab driver soon. I just have to be able to deal with the smell of those trees. Anyway there are two songs you really need to check out – one is called “I Like” written by and featuring R Kelly and Snoop Dogg. The other one is called “Body Kiss” which is a slow, sexual and spiritual jam that is like flies caught in syrup on a hot day – it is sweet and sickly – especially the kissy noises that Ronald does through the song and L’il Kim sounds real husky and dirty too even though they have put auto tuner on her vocals. Amazing. LOL. Amazing delivery by Mr Biggs. His voice is exquisite. Slow jammer. See I told you I should be a mini cab driver.

Not like the poor pigeon above which is more like the state of my life than the vibes going on in an R&B jam. Having said that, I had an amazing time last night. In a suspect outfit I met with Mr Chips, The Cardinal, Jappers and Bird Cage and went to Cocadisco for some above and below the waist dancing. There I saw SPENNY TUNGATE OMG – he is the greatest dancer – gave myself serious bruises fisting Rachel and got spit on by Paul Pieroni who was doing really incredible floor skids. I was super impressed.

Julianiswatching was also there and looked like a cheese string on the dance floor and pulled some pretty impressive shapes. He’s a super sexual dancer!! I would want to be his friend if he didn’t spend the whole night inferring I was fat by trying to tickle me all night. There are only two places I’m ticklish and one of them is my inner thigh. The other is more available to the general public so I’m not going to tell. Though my father was a big one for tickles so I spent my childhood years developing the power of mind over matter as an invisible force field for tickle threats.

Earlier in the evening I had a really interesting conversation with James and Amph keeping my eye on what is really important. Here we see the guys eye to eye discussing man to man stuff.

Even earlier in the day, Carri came to see me at the shop. I made her pose for hours while I worked out the flash on the camera that Mrs Kipling has leant me.

Don’t think she found it such a chore. When other visitors came in to see me I had to kick them all out cause we were having a really good conversation about tummy rolls and the best meal deals from KFC. Carri and I are high rollers you may have noticed. No fucking junior spesh for us for one pound fifty.

Genuine good times. So much fun! God yesterday turned out to be WWIICCKKEEDD.

Probably cause I went and had a proper dinner for a change at The Giaconda Dining room. It is on Denmark Street. It is so good. I had tuna, puy lentils – everything you see pictured here. People at a nearby table were saying rather loudly “Why is she taking pictures of her food?” so I bogged them out hoping to give one of them a dirty look, but they were too busy talking about me they didn’t look back over. They were saying that people who blog food are good for recommendations of restaurants on the internet. If I could recommend any place in London right now, it would have to be The Giaconda Dining room. I can’t wait to go back again.

xx Lektrogirl

May 26, 2008

RUSKILEKTRO


RuskiLektro, originally uploaded by Michael O’Neill!.

Oh God! I’m getting hotter and hotter as the long weekend draws to a close. Here you can see me at DJ Venom’s birthday dinner getting instruction from Manara on how to be a good Muslim. I think it is a good look and now I know the difference between strict Muslims, Persian Muslims and the Queen Mother as far as scarves go.

So much happened this weekend. First part of the Lady Gang met and went to the Fervent Moon party and Louis Enchantés DJing was most delicious. After that we went to The Star for the new Say Yes party. Whoever was DJing there played “Circus Bells” by Robert Armarni. A highlight of that party. Then we traipsed down Cambridge Heath Road only for The Cardinal to get a wine bottle stuck down her jeans.

It was an emotional moment. Tragedy was averted when she realised she could get it out again by just undoing her jeans. We were all pretty waste, YGM by then – not too bad. But obvs enough to not be thinking logically. Venom and the Air Commodore had to piss in a side street together. I wonder if they were rubbing willies?

Then we all made it to some party in Dalston and I have to say that I really hate it round there – no offence to the locals – but in my minds eye, this is what Dalston looks and smells like:

I’m up for being better educated like from Ladette to Lady, though after having to make myself puke before I thought I could stomach any breakfast, I don’t think making it to the status of Lady is gonna happen any time soon. I rolled home late in the day hoping to grab 40 winks only the Cardinal and I really needed to have a lengthy conversation before we were due to meet in about 3 hours, even though we had spent the whole night at a party together as well. I cannot divulge what it was exactly we spoke about – I’m sure my stalkers who come here looking for dirt, haters who come here with nothing better to do and my dad who comes looking for titty pics would love to know – only I will say the Cardinal came up with the line that has cracked me up ever since – “God, what do guy’s think we talk about? Nail polish?” Well, true dat.

So after no sleep, that night at the Tate Modern in the Turbine Hall me and my two friends settled down on our little cushions that looked like kickboards from a learn to swim class to check out “Past-Potential- Furtures: Early Experiments in Computer Animation.”

I didn’t take these videos – someone else did and I think that this person was the one who was fucking me off the whole night with their camera cause the back light of the display on their camera was so bright it was burning the corner of my eye…

GOOGOLPLEX – Lillian Schwartz and Kenneth Knowlton

SO AMAZING.

Though my absolute favourite was CIBERNETIK 5.3 from 1965 by John Sterhura. And check this out – look at his banging URL http://cyberanimation.tripod.com/ I always regret not having a tripod site or angel fire. So ghetto.

Anyway so I was totally in another world watching these. So happy!

Then tonight after the laziest day ever, spent all of it in bed and watching Starsky and Hutch:

[Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughan and Snoop Dogg - Ben Stiller can make jokes to get me in the mood and the other three can do what ever they want to this princess.] we all went to a Russian restaurant for Venom’s birthday where I ate this:

And so now night night everyone.

xx Lektrogirl

March 30, 2008

SUNDAY NIGHT & FEELIN’ RIGHT

Actually I’m feeling pretty exhausted. Lemme make like Craig David and fill U in.

Rewind to Thursday night when I went to YoYo with my HoHo’s at the Notting Hill Arts Club. I know that there are a lot of haters for this place and the club that it is but I will say I LOVE IT THERE cause there is absolutely no hating going on in there, loads of attitude [thug love], people are dressed up and the bar serves cocktails – there is always a happy hour cocktail! So G’ed up with the Sinus Spray and Cold and Flu tablets I was sitting sipping Honey and Grapefruit cocktails for the first half of the evening, then when Martello came on -

[Double screwface. Nice teeth.]

- I spent four hours dancing. In fact, Carrie and I even took our glasses off. It was really such a powerful moment. BOOYAH. The BEST part about the night though was instead of the breakdancers busting out which the small dicked lithe men sometimes do, this time the camera phones came out for some Poser-Popping ina big circle in the middle of the floor. Some serious shapes, signs and leans. Sorry for the blurry picture. I had my glasses off remember.

And here are my two pals with their own efforts.

The next day I wasn’t feeling too bad. Only bad enough to miss the postman ringing on the doorbell. However a full recovery was required for the launch of the incredible NIGHT SLUGS – Bok Bok and Manara’s night down at the Red Star once a month. For such a heavy date, dressing appropriately was required:


Which I have been told is straight gull-ee and fucking badgirl. Not bad for a Tasmanian G right? Someone has to regulate.

Before going, I had been having a deep an esoteric conversation with a friend about the kind of music that would be played. He said that generally bassline is a fake movement. That it only exists up North as something real and that probably it would be just full of bloggers anyway. Funny that – Prancehall, DJ Venom, Manara and Bok Bok all DJ’d and all have blogs. And I blog and I went there. However, my view on bassline and niche is that it is hilarious bouncy pop music and if a scene is ‘real’ or not I don’t care. It seems a bit like thinking yourself out of having too much fun to be academic about it. The party was filled with good time vibes.


I mean – check the look on Bok Bok’s face. It was good times all round!

ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY WHEN:
Prancehall’s first track of the night was Snoop Dogg’s sexual/sensual seduction/eruption [sorry was too busy dancing to notice which version it was.] It really surprised me because I never pictured him as a particularly sensual guy [bubble bath and vanilla candles?] but his womanly thighs have been pointed out to me by more than one person so perhaps Prancehall feels something in his groin for Snoop Dogg, like I do. Prancehall played a great collection of grimetime hits and grunk and crip crop and areandbee. Good times. Where’s the beef? There is none. I was just feeling the love.

It was not a good time however after getting into bed at last at 6am to be woken by the postman at 7.30 delivering a package and he didn’t know if it was the one from yesterday or not because he had the day off yesterday. The postman is my most regular male visitor. Which is fitting as he delivers the mail.

Later that morning I had to get up again with some urgency cause by a certain set of co-incidences, my friend Koogs was making a website for Samwell [you know 'What What In The Butt'] and it had to be ready by yesterday evening. Urgh so some frantic .cssing .gifing and .htmling with serious party issues. Not my idea of a Saturday night – especially when Cardinal be calling me for another night out. Which I am so gutted I missed.

BUT there is an upside to being stuck at home – Marisa Olson from Nasty Nets asked me if I wanted to have my video ‘The Result’ screened at the NY Underground Festival on Friday, April 4th. The Nasty Nets DVD is finished and you will be able to buy it – a ‘coolection’ of all the best craps from the internet compiled by people from the Nasty Nets Crew. So – awesome. I am so happy! If you want to watch the video for ‘The Result’ in the comfort of your own living room:
<------ scroll down
<------ check the links
<------ you'll find it there.

Or if you are in New York:


Event InfoName: NASTY NETS at NYUFF – DVD release screening!
Tagline: As Nasty As U Wanna Be
Host: Marisa Olson
Type: Music/Arts – Jam Session
Time and PlaceDate: Friday, April 4, 2008
Time: 8:30pm – 10:30pm
Location: Anthology Film Archives
Street: 32 2nd Avenue
City/Town: New York, NY

Nasty Nets has just produced a DVD (with video & data for maximum pleasure!) and we’re releasing it in a screening called NASTY AS U WANNA BE at the 15th (and final) NY Underground Film Festival.

Please come and enjoy, and get your discounted dvd’s–$5 while supplies last!

Big thanks to RHIZOME for sponsoring the dvd & screening!
http://nastynets.com/dvd.html
http://www.nyuff.com/2008/index2.php?p=arc&s=res&fid=295

Nasty As U Wanna Be
EXPERIMENTAL VIDEO MIN INTERNATIONAL PREMIERE
Organized by Marisa Olson & the Nasty Nets with support from Rhizome.org

Identifying themselves as an “internet surfing club,” Nasty Nets is an international ensemble representing some of the most active artists working online today. Together their work both celebrates and critiques the internet by employing original and appropriated imagery and audio, such as animated gifs, YouTube hacks, html cheat codes, and other found and edited material, offering a poignant and humorous take on contemporary digital visual culture.

This event will serve as a release party for their new dvd, which features videos for dvd players, copious digital files to be opened on personal computers, and a type-in website by Michael Bell-Smith. Tonight’s screening will feature videos from the dvd and additional works by members of this 25-person crew.

Nasty Nets was founded by artists John Michael Boling, Joel Holmberg, Guthrie Lonergan, and Marisa Olson, and includes members Peter Baldes, Michael Bell-Smith, Camille Paloque Bergés, Kevin Bewers- dorf, Brian Blomerth, Charles Broskoski, Petra Cortright, Chris Coy, Paul B. Davis, Michael Guidetti, Britta Gustafson, Travis Hallenbeck, Chance Jackson, Lektrogirl, Tom Moody, Javier Morales, Paul Slocum, James Whipple, Robert Wodzinski, and Damon Zucconi. The Nasty Nets DVD is generously supported by Rhizome. Discs will be sold at a discount to NYUFF ticket-holders, at the festival, while supplies last. – Marisa Olson

Anyway I better get to bed cause I bet the postman will be here bright and early again in the morning. Which I am so not looking forward to.

xx Lektrogirl

March 17, 2008

WHAT’S MY NAME

And before I knock off for the evening, I will leave you all with a touch of class. The Hot 8 Brass Band with a track from the classiest man on earth, Ess Enn Ohh Ohh Pee Dee Ohh Double Gee.

And if I might also suggest you check out this fat black men huffing and puffing their way with their ever so excellent embrasure* to Sexual Healing.

xx Lektrogirl

* FYI for those of you who don’t know, I learnt the euphonium and French horn as a child. And the piano and the cello.

February 10, 2008

SOME SONGS TO PAINT TO

Totally obvs to anyone as to why this song should be here. A great song for getting the tools together, opening the paint tin and getting a job underway.

Indeed the whole Dr Dre album is great DIY music. As is the Snoop Dogg album Tha Last Meal. I fully recommend either of these.

And definitely the DJ Guy Fired Up Promo mix that I have mentioned before on the blog.

I love this weird Spanish cover song and it is great for doing corner bits with the paint brush. You do need to change the mood a bit for this work, but still nothing too chill. You could also try this:

Yeah I know what a lot of people say about Tatu. But it’s a great song to paint to.

Or this classic Robert Palmer if you aren’t into lesbians produced by Trevor Horn.

I’m obsessed with Rick Ross at the moment, but he is ugly with bitch titties and goes on about how many lips he’s got on him but that is so impossible. I don’t get it. I’ve done a lot of things in my life I can’t rationalise. But get the Big Red Bass Mix of Hustlin. It has a better pace for the roller on the walls. It is is better when he sings “Whip it whip it real hard”. It is good for when you get really to the point of “I can’t go on but there is only a bit left to do.”

If you have any further suggestions to make as to what you think might be a good painting song please do not hesitate to make a comment and I will try it out. I know anonymous blogging has been turned off since “the asshole in Singapore” incident [Alex T I still love you for the service you provided me that day. I just hope you didn't hear my voice cracking on the phone.]

January 21, 2008

TRAINING DAY

I FINALLY got to see Training Day that Jo “To Pimping!” Mitchell has been going on about for so long. It stars Denzel Washington [I have a minor obsession with his acting ability], Ethan Hawke [I fucking HATE him] SNOOP DOGG as a wheelchair bound crack dealer and Dr Dre as a rogue cop [a bit like Ice T in Law and Order only scarey.]


If you don’t believe me about Snoop Dogg, start watching about 5 minutes in – I nearly cried laughing. Sadly I promised Carrie that she could have Snoop and I would stick with R Kelly yesterday in Jerk City but it was kind of a fake promise – I was secretly thinking “Yeah I will say it here for arguments sake but deep down we know Snoop is mine.” So sorry Carrie. I lied in the name of love.

Other people being fake in town have got found out big time tho’. XXCENSOREDXX got caught out telling XXCENSOREDXX one thing and then telling XXCENSOREDXX something so different it’s laughable. I have screen grabs of both conversations where XXCENSOREDXX tells the story and the poor quality lying is just embarrassing. LOSER.

But back to Denzel Washingtons and his acting ability. If it wasn’t for the poor acting of Ethan Hawke and his jarring appearance every time he was on screen I could have been lead to believe that this was a real life portrayal of the ghetto so convincing was Denzel. He continued to employ his stiff neck head bobbing thing that Bill Cosby also uses to great effect when making a serious point. The midnight murderers who played their roles with balaclavas and big black van were neither predictable or an overused archetype in a Hollywood movie. They way Denzel’s body convulsed as he was being riddled with bullets from automatic weapons what definitely watching the whole movie for.

I would have loved to watch the movie the whole way through in Spanish:

I was talking Jo Apps last night who is in Philadelphia and loving it I understand. We discussed the public physical fight between two men in Fabric the other night. As Jo Apps said “What is London coming to with all this violence going on? Everyone is going to be running round with guns come picnic season!” I have to say that I have witnessed the harsh reality of how life could be when watching Training Day if everyone doesn’t take a step back and a deep breath. If you haven’t seen it already I implore you to watch Training Day, the “Cool and exciting” and “Cracking cop drama… refreshing to see a thriller worthy of the label” for which Denzel Washington received an Acadamy Award in 2001 for his Leading Role for some home truths and watch Good triumph over Evil.

xx Lektrogirl

November 29, 2007

FILL MY CRUNK CUP

CHAMBERYZETTE!! OMG the drink of Kings and Pimps like me

So to refresh your memory from yesterday’s post about the greatest song of this week

Chamberyzette – “A vermouth flavoured with alpine strawberries and is dry full flavoured aperitif with unique style.” Totally spiritual and sensual so similar to Snoop Dogg in a silk satin shirt and a voice box handing out his mouth and the Mary Jane Girls caught in their underwear


You Get Me?

Anyway so back to the Chamberyzette: tonight I took Jessie to Andrew Edmunds for dinner cause I missed her birthday the other day. For an apéritif we decided on the Chamberyzette cause it had a nice name. Then we had an amazing dinner – totally delicious but unfortunately boring boring considering the next piece of news I have to tell you – but Kiera Knightley arrived and sat two tables away. We were there to see the guy she was with present her with a little jewellery box with little dangly ‘diamante’ earrings. It was totally romantic. She had seen them in a shop previously and he was with her and saw how much she loved them. Then he went back another day and bought them. Then Kiera went and tried to buy them herself, but the lady in the store said “OMG I’m sorry I sold them to someone another day” knowing full well that the guy was buying them as a surprise for Kiera. So she put the earrings and and they had a little smooch across the table. And then he was saying something like “I’m going to lie in tomorrow and walk around Stoke Newington. Those earrings make your smile look massive! Like they are extra teeth, they make your teeth sparkle more… You should wear your hair behind your ears to show them more…” They were so cute together. So don’t you feel like you were just like totally right there too?

And I didn’t realise – the Virgin Megastore isn’t even Virgin any more… it is like some name lis Xzanni and all weird. It kind of blew my trip on the way home.

Then my friend Booty called me to talk about Hamburg, Astrology, Spritual stuff and things of a higher plane. What a pimp.

xx Lektrogirl

November 28, 2007

THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

New Snoop Dogg:

For the full version check here. It has only been online a few hours and so there are no other versions except the universal one.

but OMG OMG OMG CARTWHEELS!!! THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. I love Snoop Dogg. I might go to sleep wearing my Doggie Biscuit Sneakers.

xx Lektrogirl

May 14, 2007

Baddest Nigga 4 Ever

OMG check out these awesome AWESOME pictures from Hugofreegow’s Flickr. Totally HOT!

April 27, 2007

C’MON MATE, FAIR GO!

ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE MERCURY ‘The Voice of Tasmania’

Snoop Dogg denied entry to Australia
April 26, 2007 11:20am
Article from: AAP

CONTROVERSIAL US rapper Snoop Dogg has been denied entry to Australia because of his ever-growing list of criminal convictions.

The cancellation of the visa for the rapper, record producer and actor means he will not appear at the MTV Australian video music awards this weekend.
Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews said Snoop Dogg would be issued a notice of intention to cancel his visa after he failed to pass the requisite character test.
Snoop Dogg, 35, whose real name is Calvin Broadus, pleaded no contest to felony gun and drug charges in the US earlier this month.
“The reality is in relation to this man, that he was given a warning the last time, he has a whole string of convictions, and just two weeks ago I was told he was convicted on a number of charges again and sentenced to three years’ imprisonment on two, and three years’ imprisonment on another, with five years’ probation and a suspended sentence,” Mr Andrews said on Macquarie radio today.
“He has been denied entry into the United Kingdom because he was caught with others causing affray at Heathrow Airport. He doesn’t seem the sort of bloke we want in this country.”
Mr Andrews said Snoop Dogg could respond to the cancellation of his visa.
“The character test in relation to this involves a substantial criminal record, which is … being sentenced to a term of imprisonment of 12 months or more.
“It can also include a person’s associations, their past and present criminal conduct, and their general conduct.
“This man has been a member of a Los Angeles gang – and is still associated with it apparently – that’s been involved in murder, robberies and drug dealing in the LA area,” Mr Andrews said.

Oh Bugger Snoop! You got a bad rep now! We have a history of bush rangers – Ned Kelly, weirdo killing psychos [Martin Bryant who killed 35 and injured 37 at Port Arthur] and criminals [Mark 'Chopper' Reed] of the highest standard here in Australia but now the screws won’t be having you.

Incidently, Dad’s birthday – 28 April – is also the anniversary of the day Martin Bryant did his thing.

As for Chopper:

Or you can be Chopper’s MySpace friend and listen to his awesome rap music.


Anyway – I have to go now cause Mum wants me to go to Kmart big sale on all undies etc. She got up at 7am to roast a chook. She is already nagging me I didn’t eat enough breakfast. [Did she see the size of my arse yesterday?] Yeah man, just like home…

xx Lektrogirl

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