Hello! Bonjour! Willkommen!

May 23, 2009

BLAH BLAH

I have been in batten down the hatches meltdown mode this week and throwing myself into my work and totally switching off when I get home. Which made it so amazing to see the Lady Gang last night Philippa’s house for the dinner get together we do every so often. I did not take any pictures – came straight from work and had left my camera at home charging. Madame was there in one of Grandfather Lady’s old rubber skirts cut off to secretary length, The Cardinal had on a stunning black dress that was so ladylike she couldn’t reach up to get the canelle tin out of the cupboard, Mrs Kipling is undergoing a skin transformation – she was GLOWING and Mrs G was wearing RIPPED JEANS with the best vintage polka dot scarf from here to eternity. So amazing. Bette was also there and she was being super cute trying to avoid everyone. The drink of choice – Aperol & Prosecco / Cava whatever was opened. CHEESECAKE for dessert [The Cardinal's is legendary you know.]

Today I woke up at 1.30 wishing for some more Vietnamese Salad that Cards had prepared next to a slice of Spinach quiche. I lay in bed and tried to positively think it into my life but every time I peeked over the covers a side plate had not appeared on the windowsill… So I got up and decided to cook my own quiche with stuff I had in the fridge and freezer.

So it was a bit random – smoked salmon, braised fennel, spring onion and tarragon but at the same time it was a good combination and I was quite pleased with the results for my first ever quiche. Not as good as Philippa’s but not bad for a beginner.

In other news, osl.lameatnames.com is going really well – in fact the visits are blowing up so much so that valeria and I are sharing the hosting of files around three or four different sites trying to scrabble up some space. Oh shit – that reminds me I wanted to tell Pippa something about hosting videos. Brain ache now but I will do it tomorrow or later.

Oh yeah – Pippa and I had to have THAT conversation. The one that had been brewing for a while. We had kind of seen it coming but we never actually said anything to each other about it until last night. VINCENT D’ONOFRIO IS FAT!! I said I would still blow him, but as Pippa said “He has turned into a real man mountain.” Anyone else checked him out in series 8 of Law and Order: Criminal Intent? He always had a lot of screen presence – now he totally hogs the camera! [OJ LOL]

Anyway

I’m gonna go catch some episodes. Meltdown is manageable. Not the best time at the moment, but the Lady Gang is always a wicked treat.

xx Lektrogirl

March 3, 2009

NEWS ROUNDUP

Oh Allah where is my time going these days? I have been in CSI K Hole, or more to the point, first series Law and Order Criminal Intent when Vincent D’Onofrio was the most hot. But even when he was a bit bloated I would still do him. I was so pleased to see him in the first episode ever of LAW CI that I had to text Pippa while she was waiting outside Regines to get in! Of course a brief text message about his babeness ensued.

Anyway news round up:

Went out for a drink last night and my mate told me after much prodding from me – she was trying to pretend that I didn’t ask the question about 4 time – that XXCENSOREDXX has a dick that she described as “tubby”. And I guffawed so much that I begged her to let me post it. She said so. And I actually was begging saying “Pleaaaaase!!” Always the lady, she was telling me “No” but like a child I whinged until I got away with being allowed to say this much.

Valeria my Parisian partner in crime arrives on Friday evening. The excitement is almost too much. Particularly as Covvo already got here last Thursday back from Berlin and Mrs V will follow her soon after at in April. THE ORIGINAL LADY GANG WILL BE BACK IN BUSINESS!! As for the present Lady Gang [Mrs Kipling, Mrs Gorman, Madame, The Cardinal etc] I am still waiting for a date for the next dinner party!

Also have been having some good Internet chats with some Internet Porn Artists – a guy called Serigio Messina [more later] and a woman called Barbara DeGenevieve [more later]. Had not such a nice chat with Prancehall who told me to “fuck off and die” for no apparent reason on Throwawayfuck.com – I didn’t even realise I was still on his radar.

Last but not least!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!! I walked past and there he was. I could not believe that HE was outsite sitting with HER!!!!!! Unfathomable. But I will have to work it out in the least stalkerish way possible.

xx Lektrogirl

February 20, 2008

THE DOOR-ZZZ

You know that band The Doors? Well this story is about as interesting. And it kind of leads into something else I want to show you. Which has nothing to do with the last thing I want to tell you. Firstly however is a video for you to enjoy of someone enjoying The Doors.

[looks a bit like Vincent D'Onofrio if HE was playing the character in The Wedding Crashers that Owen Wilson played where he gets all depressed cause he thinks he has lost the girl.]

So here is my story:

My mother said “Oh that’s great! What are you going to do with The Door. You can put it under your bed!!”
Do you wanna know how unwieldy The Door is? Basically, it is exactly the same size as a door frame and incredibly heavy. Really heavy hard wood.
So I drag The Door around in an attempt to put The Door under the bed. In fact, I spend the evening watching CSI and Law and Order looking at The Door out of the corner of my eye thinking “The Door is really long? Is it actually gonna fit under the bed.” Indeed The Door was too long to get under the bed. By less than a centimetre. And I don’t mean it hung out the end of the bed and I couldn’t handle it [though if this were true it would also be TRUE!] I mean that no matter which way I tried, the door was too big, the angles were not right, there was no was I could get The Door under The Frigging Bed. At one point I was even jammed in the bedroom with The Door wedged between the foot of the bed and the door of the room at a steep angle and with all the strength in the world, I almost couldn’t move The Door.
With one bruised foot I dragged The Door back to the hallway. I won’t even enjoy cutting the stupid thing in half.

Now back when I was at college, people who were into The Doors dressed like this:

Only fast forward to No Hate in 08 and dudes who dress like this – what are they listening to? Well this guy listens to DUBSTEP!! Wow. I know this because he had a CD in his hand BOX OF DUB / DUBSTEP AND FUTUREDUB.
Look at that cardigan.
Look at how his feet are on not on the floor nicely in front of him.

One I rang up a number for a man looking for a woman to go on a date with on an investigatory dare from C.I.B. I wasn’t dating anyone and she was with Hot Dog. We picked a guy from The Guide weekly listing thing. So I called and listened to the guy’s message he left for me. “Hi I’m blah blah years old. I work at Skoob, which is a bookshop. And I’m going bald, but I don’t CARE.” We didn’t go on a date. Anyway, I imagine at the time that Baldy Skoob man looked like the Dubstep Man.

I’m cooking a fish supper for three wimmin tomorrow night. I have big plans. Let’s hope I fair well. Mussels, chermoula and amaretti… Let me leave you with a wimmin’s issue, a Chick With A Gun, Pippa Brooks giving it her best shot [literally]:

Pippa looks so much like Detective Calleigh Duquesne from CSI: Miami. And yeah – she hits the bullseye.


Oh and a cool Paris sticker I bought in Paris once years ago.

xx Lektrogirl

January 13, 2008

MY MIND WANDERS

Well the work in the bathroom grouting has gone so slowly – so boring. But while I work I have had a lot of time to think about all kinds of stuff – like particularly who is the hottest actor at the moment IMHO.

It all started when the ads came on TV for that new movie “No Country for Old Men”. Though I don’t have much of a clue as to what the movie about, I kept seeing this guy

shooting people and acting really weird and dark thinking “Fuck he’s hot!” But somewhere in my mind I kept thinking – I’ve seen that guy somewhere before, but crying. WHO IS HE?

Google called and I soon learned the killer of my dreams is a Spanish actor called Javier Bardem. But there was still something not right. This guy definitely needs the psycho bowl cut for me to feel his vibe. The guy I remember thinking TOTAL BABE was definitely crying and definitely has short hair. THEN IT CLICKED!!

The guy I was really in love with was Denny Duquette! OMG! The man who was dying in his hospital bed that was having a relationship with the babe nurse Izzy in Grey’s Anatomy.

Here we see [real name] Jeffrey Dean Morgan looking amazing. Point to note – JDM will never be amazingly famous cause he has a bad name.

So I had to get on AIM and tell my friend Ramiro all about it – and even he was astounded as to how similar the two men are:

Spit roast anyone? That is enough to make me kick an own goal, YGM?

Back grouting, I thought about it further – a psycho killer and someone with a fatal illness. It is a documented fact I am also in love with Owen Wilson who we all know tried to top himself not that long ago over that What’s-Her-Name.

Amazing! Can you just imagine the photographer and the stylist at this shoot. It makes me cry lauging thinking about it. But even so – BABE. What is up with me though falling for all these weirdos?

I had a rethink over a Milo [it's Australian, Google it.] And of course – HOW COULD I FORGET NICK STOKES!! Only in the era without the moustach. YGM?! I love facial hair but not a little mo.

So here is Agent Nick Stokes from CSI Crime Scene Investigation [the Vegas one.] Tell me, who wouldn’t want one of Nick Stokes digits poking around in one of your orifices laid out on a slab? I for one can raise my hand high in the air and say ME PLEASE. Until I saw this…


George Eades au natural. He might as well be in the fucking L’Oreal Dandruff commercial saying “Hey babe wanna root?”

Even speaking with a dirty French accent can’t save him.

God… so who is left?

Vincent D’Onofrio?

It seems XXCENSOREDXX is luckier than I am right now. He tells me he has a new lady who is rich and wears Jimmy Choo’s. That could be any WAG. I wonder if he is having an illicit affair with Posh Spice or even Danielle Lloyd?

Last night we went to the Walthamstow Dogs to wish Jo Apps a bon voyage.


Ronojoy trying to tickle Carrie’s fancy.


Jo and her boyfriends.

xx Lektrogirl

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