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January 16, 2011


I am currently defrosting the freezer and pickling some cumquats I had in the fridge. Both of which is taking ages – but I realised a second ago I turned off the cooker and not the freezer. Everything is a bit like scrambled eggs at the moment. Yesterday was both amazing [I met my little Remy in the morning and went for a beer with the girls] but then shortly afterwards I had a melt down on Stoke Newington Church Street, Anthony came from his studio – marched up infact sans coat and started yelling at me in the street. [Deservedly I don't know. It's complicated. We were both victims? All I can think of are some conversations I have had with Emma B about it being a woman's right to lose it sometimes. Anyway as everyone saw, yep me I lost it. And Anthony was yelling in the street! Something he would NEVER do normally. Only for the pair of us to be pleasantly interrupted by Simon Bookish which was WONDERFUL to see him! From Awkward back to Amazing. Ohhhh what a day.]

Today I have just been crying non stop : Ohhhh my freezer doesnt freeze properly. I am a failure. I will never succeed at anything. All this frost. Why can’t I clean up properly after myself. No wonder I am so unattractive and revolting no-on will ever love me. Oh no hang on a minute… Anthony… Oh my god I don’t deserve such a fabulous boyfriend he is so amazing. He is just the greatest guy…

And then the crying starts again. WHY?

Is it just me?

Also, another question I would like an answer to : Who ever you are on the 3rd floor of our office building using the ladies toilets WHY DO YOU PICK YOUR NOSE AND WIPE IT DOWN THE WALL FOR EVERYONE ELSE TO SEE? If we wanted to piss in a chamber full of snot, why not invite us to crawl right up your fucking nose?!
I cannot fathom this. There is a roll of toilet paper to blow your nose on and wipe your bogey and flush it down the loo. WHY?

I have run out of money until payday. This happens every January. WHY?

And I have decided that I will be no longer contributing to the Lameatnames blog. I will continue to add material to the lameatnames gallery though. And probably go back to putting weird fanny pictures on my own blog. Exciting isnt it? I should just get a YouPorn account and be done with it. Which also makes me want to ask myself WHY would I want to do that in the first place? WHY?


March 24, 2010


I got some nice emails. Thanks buddies. I saw CIB this morning. So nice. Thank you thank you. And then I ate this:

Not the piece above, but a wedge of ComtĂ© cheese from Waitrose. Lactose intolerance be fucked. Until I am on the loo later crying thinking of Manara asking myself WHY?! And trust me it won’t be all happy like 2girls etc [if you can call puking and eating it again happy?]

Then I got a text message from my boss who obvs had nothing better to do at work after everyone had gone and I had turned the lights off but go through the reception desk computers email spam folder and check what was in there on her own. Why? I don’t know. Why did I eat so much cheese? It was obviously very necessary. Tomorrow I am going to have to explain about web spiders, 250 spam in a day is no big deal, that yes the receptionist is doing her job and everything is double checked by everyone. And sit there feeling ill.

I GTG. That cheese is gurgling round in a bath of tea with honey and soya milk.

October 24, 2009


September 27, 2009




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