Sunday, 29 June 2008


Another weekend passes and another beautiful girl vomits in Shoreditch.

My 'crew' were 'rolling' in those 'ends' over the w-end. As per usual we started off with out new secret tradition, which like the Freemasons handshake is only something discussed amongst that knows who know about it in the first place. Though I can only say, wouldn't be amazing if Pisco Sours came in miniature bottles!

We spent a moment with Lady Friends Noriko and Little Witch. Who should appear but Sue Ellen! Brilliant! I haven't seen her since those old days when the Little Witch and I had 'The Competition' and a chart on the wall with names and scores.

Then we headed to The Macbeth where I was THRILLED to see Deano who has the hottest moustache in London right now. It is a comforting vision as he looks just like an Australian Bogan - maybe from a Rossarden Motorcycle gang. Hell - even like Chopper Read

Mark Brandon "Chopper" Read (born November 17, 1954), is an Australian former-criminal, author, and celebrity. Convicted of many crimes including armed robbery, firearm offences, assault and kidnapping, Read spent a mere 13 months outside prison between the ages of 20 and 38, then went on to become a successful author of crime novels, selling in excess of 500,000 copies of his works. More recently, he has also found success as a recording artist.

The Macbeth is really one of the more rotten places in London to have a party. Everyone knows that queuing for the toilet is a tragedy and there is rarely any toilet paper. I took great pleasure in pissing and using a number of the most current flyers for 'Gash' distributed in the club. I made sure everyone one I use I tore so that Prancehall was going to be the first and only thing coming into contact with my most private parts.

Here is a flyer I had ripped in preparation [but didn't use] next to my new Jas MB clutch that was a gift from my dear friend The Arabian Prince. See Pranny that would end up on my fanny? Also, there is some random beer bottle I would be sure to do a Kinga with if I got too excited alone in the bathroom.

I actually spoke to Prancehall for the first time that night in a long time since our last 'Internet war'. I asked him if our beef was going to be like Kobi for ever time and he didn't even know what kobi beef is. So rather than trying to explain it to him I just told him I knew it was him that had written things about some people I knew on my blog. He line was "It was so long ago, I don't remember, I don't even care any more - Oh yeah I remember I was in the room when it happened but I didn't actually type it and there are two other guys in this club who you know that actually did it but I can't tell you who it is."

This news was enough to make me take my finger off "the pulse" looking at pictures of myself for a minute. I know...

We exchanged further 'pleasantries' for a few moments before Prancehall turned again and told me how much he hates me and what a revolting person I am. Only I can't take it seriously.

Look on the love on that face as man connects with fellow man. You really can't hate a guy like that. SPIRITUAL. Just like 'Happy Song' by Baby's Gang all over again.

Another girl transfixed by the London Summertime vibes is The Cardinal.

Somewhere deep within herself she is experiencing the vibrations from her aura to the soundtrack of Whitney Houston.

I have to say that there were few spiritual vibes by the end of my DJing stint at The Lauriston. I was completely knackered. The people working at the bar were incredibly nice and so were most of the customers. But there was one moment where I looked up and all I could see was some nutter in a black Akubra and black eye-liner dancing to everything I played, some black guy with a wooden bead choker asking for ELO and a table of bald men who were disappointed when Super Freak wasn't U Can't Touch This.

At the end of the night, one of the guys from the bald table came over to thank me tho' for everything I had played. He said that the whole night he and his friends had been trying to guess what my real life job is. And finally they decided that I was a teacher who looked like she had just marked 30,000 term papers. HA!! I always look so miserable when I DJ - either that or they were fantasising that I would spank them with a ruler.

I was only too pleased to be home that night and get into bed. So tired. And I couldn't get away from Mr Akubra quick enough once he started asking me if I believed in destiny and I tried saying no cause I knew where his conversation was headed but he told me that he knew I wasn't the type of lady who didn't believe in destiny. Then he asked if I was a Capricorn or a Gemini. Wrong on both counts.

xx Lektrogirl


Anonymous Anonymous said...

prancehall loves you...

2 July 2008 10:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

prancehall wants to be inside you

2 July 2008 11:40  
Blogger Lektrogirl said...

sorry babes, tunnel's closed.

nice try whoever you are never the less.

2 July 2008 12:21  

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