Monday, 4 May 2009

MASSIVE TOP SECRET LOLS

I spent a day this Bank Holiday weekend hanging out with XXCENSOREDXX who told me in the strictest confidence about one of the most embarrassing things that could possibly happen when you are in bed with a guy for the first time [other than having your period or not having your period but realising you had an old tampon inside of you FOR EXAMPLE ONLY!] XXCENSOREDXX awoke early only to fart and shit her pants in bed right next to a totally hot dude that she has been trying to get with cause she thinks he is totally banging. Like OMG! Fortunately there were only two stains on the sheet about the size of mini Post It notes [I made her draw a diagram on a piece of paper while choking back a laugh] and the guy slept through the hole thing. XXCENSOREDXX was worried that the guy knew what happened and I told her "Don't worry. A guy does not hang out all day with a girl who shit the bed right next to him on the first day. I'm telling you he does not know."

Then the pair of us were killing ourselves laughing.

XXCENSOREDXX is good like that. She's a good one. So - even though it might seem I am reporting back a piece of 'juicy gossip' I actually appreciate the fact that she is a kind of 'no shit' kind of person and talks about just 'doing her own business'.

xx Lektrogirl

P.S. But yerrr also a hilarious story. I am glad I have real girlfriends.

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Mrs Gorman said...

aaaaah!!!! hilarious. i can see him cringing with embarrassment that he had this girl in bed with him and hadn't changed his sheets after that curry or whatever.

that's some fart though. without being coarse was she drinking a lot of beer? specifically Kronenbourg?? (no reason...)

5 May 2009 14:27  

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