Tuesday, 12 August 2008


Dear Ms Chanel

I wanted to write a letter of complaint to you regarding two maquillage products I have purchased from one of your concessions recently, in Selfridges.

Based on the fact that the two 'rouge a lèvres' I purchased were similar to a Christian Dior lipstick I had stolen from me a while ago, I felt confident with the assurances from the marketing of your brand with the two colours I walked out of the store with would be more than adequate to mend my broken heart.

However I am bitterly disappointed on the performance of your product. My Christian Dior lipstick in Indian Red, even though was years old had maximum coverage, staying power and an intensity of colour that made all men turn in the street. Both lipsticks I bought from you - Passion and New York Red - are greasy, slippery, bleed and last about 20 minutes before needing another application.

My Christian Dior lipstick was not an impotent monkey dick or a weasley dog's dick of a product and I am indeed inferring that your products are both those things... in fact... maybe even of lesser standing. I rue the day I decided to choose your product over Yves Saint Laurent - which even if the lipstick had been of equal quality, at least it comes in packaging which makes carrying a compact mirror obsolete.

Going forward I shall never be wearing stands of pearls, linking my C's as I doodle on notepads while on the phone or considering getting a chin length bob with a tan.

Yours with a bitter fair well

Emma Davidson

P.S. I'm only bitching about the make up and not the wicked slides I have - they are still rocking!

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Blogger Moss said...

i heard that chanel make-up is made in the same place as tesco own-brand make-up and is pretty much the same stuff, rebranded. boooo

13 August 2008 10:16  
Blogger Lektrogirl said...

yerrr - I'm thinking of jacking it all in and going on a world trip in search of some Paloma Picasso Mon Rouge.

Unless anyone can find it online for me?

13 August 2008 21:34  
Blogger Lektrogirl said...

And this:

FindArticles - Does looking; good; need; to cost a; fortune
Sunday Mirror, Dec 6, 1998, by Angela Cooke

13 August 2008 21:37  
Blogger Madame said...

Paloma Mon Rouge was the ONLY red until she stopped making it. How cool to produce only ONE uncompromising colour! And it really was the best best red ever!......a moments silence for Mon Rouge....

14 August 2008 14:11  
Blogger Alex Torrance said...

Did you actually send this? There are a few mistakes in there. You used the elipses around "in fact" incorrectly, a pair of en-dashes would have been better and it's "farewell" not "fair well".

Lovingly, your sub.

17 August 2008 15:01  
Blogger Lektrogirl said...

oh fuck.

17 August 2008 19:39  

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