PARIS POTTY

I'm back from Paris and so frickin' proud of myself for managing one of these old style squat loo's there you wouldn't believe it.

It is a long story that started many years ago when I guess I was like 8 or 10. We used to go campling at this awesome place called Park Beach every so often at our parents friends shack in Tasmania. I used to LOVE this. Often we'd play Dukes of Hazzard in the sand around the shack with Matchbox cars, dig really deep holes in the sand dunes, and stick our fingers in the sea anenomes in the tide pools. I remember some involved game about Ed the talking horse that covered all these bases. What I wasn't so keen on was the portaloo thing that we had to use. A bit like Glastonbury. Gross. On an urgent visit to the loo, I had a really big freak out experience where a little frog got caught between my foot and my thong [flip-flip or jandle depending on your country.] It was cold and a bit squishy. Then the toilet was totally overflowing and I really needed to pee and was quite traumatised. So then my mother was getting all mad with me cause I was getting all upset. Like stress oder was?! I had to squat in the bushes. I refused to do it wearing thongs in case I got wee on my foot so I was wearing wellington boots. Somehow I managed to piss entirely in my wellingtons. Not a good look. From that day on, I believed I was anatomically incorrect and unable to wee squatting.

The next time this became an issue, was when I was in Tokyo in 1995. I was so worried. But I did it!! In jeans!! WOO HOO!! Only that is 12 years ago now.

This weekend in Paris I was out walking and suddenly dying for a piss. Being in a quite touristy area all on my own, everywhere had signs saying "TOILETS ARE FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY" so I picked somewhere to get an omlette mixte and before I sat down I asked to nip to the loo. I was fit to burst. I opened the door only to be faced with the most archaic loo I have ever seen in the Western world. It also smelt that way. I had no choice. My omlette was cooking... BUT I DID IT. I was so thrilled I even sent Mum a text. She wrote back "Go girl". At the end of my meal, I even wanted to say to the waiter "Thanks for the mega experience dude." But I didn't.


xx Lektrogirl