PARISED OUT

Today is a day I need to read the guide books again, check the bank balance and regroup before I step out into the lovely sunny morning it is here.

Yesterday I went to the Musée Dupuytren and saw all kinds of body parts in glass jars from the 1800's. Looking at the babies and two headed unborn puppies wasnt so bad, because the babies DID look like Cabbage Patch Kids. The wax mould of vaginas with clitorises that were baby penisese NBD. What I found hard to stomach were the slices of heart, brain etc etc because it looked like some of the weird offaly food you see round Paris which makes me feel sick in the same way. But after that - I don't feel so compulsed to see the museum of skin disease waxes which is probably more up my street.

The best thing I saw in Paris - and this was last time I was here - was the mineral museum at the whats-his-name and Marie Curié University.

Last night I was GUTTED to hear that I will miss the Fifi Chachnil shop opening in London on Saturday after Pippa sent me a text invitation. I will never forget the epic afternoon that Pippa and I spent looking for an elusive Fifi shop here in Paris and we were so fucking happy when we did. So thrilled in fact we bought A LOT.

Actually with that little dream over, I might check all my friends blogs to see what they are doing for a little inspiration.

xx Lektrogirl

INCIDENTLY

Institubes - Paris from James Pearson-Howes on Vimeo.

TODAY LONDON NEXT WEEK PARIS

a.k.a. My Love Affair With the Macaron

So how many people have I told the same story to over and over

I'M GOING TO PARIS TO LE CORDON BLEU TO LEARN "THE SECRET OF MACARONS".

I was talking to Mum on the phone this morning asking her "What other kind of cake is hard and a bit fiddly that you have to practice loads to get perfect and even go to a class?" and she said "Profiteroles?" I told her I already made those and they were easy. Maybe not perfect, but successful enough on the first go to not feel challenged. Sponge cake - I have totally cracked it. I have struggled with cannellés and clafoutis - maybe that is the kind of thing - but nothing like a macaron. If you serve a macaron, people are amazed and always say "HOW DO YOU DO THIS? Is there a mould? Do you drop it into something hot? How do you get it so smooth?" etc etc etc. Anyway I have no clue as to what I will learn in Paris but I am getting HELLISHLY excited. And I feel a bit sick/nervous about it. The confirmation letter even tells you what you have to wear in the kitchen.

So - with this level of thrill in mind let me tell you first of all about Mrs K MEETING PIERRE HERME at the new Selfies consession where she had to photograph him for work. I had about 5 missed calls from her that day as she attempted to tell me "MOVE YOUR ASS HERE IMMEDIATELY" and as I said in my previous post about it [and apparently MISQUOTED and then got berated for it afterwards and I told her "Okay woah like fine but I will just blow it up all over the blog about how you yelled at me LOL brb gtg my nbff just logged on bye".

Oh Buddah where was I? Oh - about to eat this gift of personally selected macarons by Mrs K from Pierre Hermés own hand.





Here are a few views of the macarons at The Cardinals house. Please note the china. Also in bottom photo bottom left please note the sliver of marmite toast available for palate cleansing.



You may remember if you even care, these were the ones I had in Paris when I was there last from Pierre Hermé shortly after getting silly stringed by three pre teens on a skateboard outside the the Pierre and Marie Curé University mineral and gem museum.

So The Cardinal and I were in a gifted position to be able to truly assess the macarons in the privacy of her living room in front of an open fire, sipping Earl Grey Tea from china cups and a variety of cutlery to best perform the operations of peeling apart the layers.



Not the first time I have done this. Remember Nantes?



Sorry lost in a K-HOLE of macaron reminiscing and checking on the Danish cabbage in the kitchen.

Back to Pierre Hermé. There seems to be a whole divide between Pierre Hermé vs Ladurée and who's is better and whatever. I am going to say that on the whole, I prefer Ladurée. I like to know that what is labelled as Rose is going to taste like Rose. Admittedly I do admire the adventure of P.H.'s "collections" but I think the ratio there is too much filling to macaron and I am not a big fan of chocolate & fruit together at the best of times. I think they are both marvellous though. The only macarons I ever that that were awful were the ones in Nantes - the really tasted like lipstick, shampoo and shower gel.

With all this preamble, lets get ourselves to Sunday afternoon when I had a tea at The Crib with a selection of O.G.'s in attendance: Covvo, Alex T [the sub editor], Ella, Fi and the Cardinal. Hobart was also there but her presence was only felt when she scratched the Cardinal and singed her whiskers on a candle. For my guests I presented my take on cream cheese & radish and egg mayonaisse & quails egg sandwiches. Followed by a selection of macarons made in my own exclusive kitchen and two cakes. Oh and Champagne and tea.



These were Bailey's and Hazelnut. Total fail in my opinion but Alex T was more than happy to take the ones we didn't eat home with him at the end.



These were Campari and Blood orange on the left and Lavender on the right. Both lovely.



These were Basil, Pinenut & Honey with Lime. They totally cleaned up. Unfortunately they are a visual fail - see the brown bit? Slightly over done but did not affect taste.

The success of these makes me feel a bit less nervous about the class in Paris. I have to say, I had a very jolly afternoon after heinous weeks at work. The cookbook was planned. I will even be doing a chapter on Chinese food. It will be one page long.

"Don't fuck with it and leave it to the Chinese."

Although since then, I have been thinking about macaron recipes on that theme.

My lunch is ready now - braised fennel and Danish cabbage. I'm going to go eat it. You can be rest assured that I will be reporting back in detail from Paris all about how I go. PLUS I have been in touch with Goon already to discuss the restaurants we will be visiting! YERRRRRR.

xx Lektrogirl

YERRR AWESOME

Goon & Koyote - Wellness Is Wild (Dre Skull remix) from FullDawa on Vimeo.

Prod : FullDawa .

Année : 2009 .

Réal : Sébastien Praznoczy

Here is a video for some awesome dudes from Paris.

x

THE BOOYAH COOK IS BACK!!

So, to all my regulators out there: MOUNT UP!

I know it has been some time since I have given a full detailed report from my kitchen, but for those of you who follow my Flickr will have seen more developments in my kitchen in "my lost months". But y'all know me, still the same O.G., but I been low key and hated on by most these niggaz wit no cheese, no deals and no G's, no wheels and no keys, no boats no snowmobiles, and no ski's & mad at me cause I can finally afford to provide my family wit groceries.

TODAY THE BOOYAH COOK PRESENTS: CLAFOUTIS! Which just happens to be the easiest of posh desserts that you can make yourself and look truly incredible.

And I mean like you wanna run around talking bout guns like I ain't got none - what you think I sold 'em all cause I stay well off? Now all I get is hate mail all day saying that I fell off. What cause I been in the lab wit a pen and a pad
trying to get this clafoutis off?



If you don't trust my measurements which are still highly confidential and in levels of development stages depending on who's kitchen I'm cooking in, I suggest you try this one here by Jill Dupliex who also created the recipe for Mini Egg and Bacon Pies.

To describe Clafoutis - it is like a giant cherry custard pancake and an old school French dish.



Cherry is the traditional but I even I saw some YouTube video of some New York Jewish Chef where he used Clementines. [Didn't like the look of it but he was into it.] You could use any fruit though - see my suggestions in the secret recipe below.

INGREDIENTS
500g fresh dark ripe cherries. Don't take the stones out - they are better left in!
3 tablespoons of icing sugar
1/2 cup caster or icing sugar
1/2 cup plain flour
3 eggs
1/2 cup cows milk [not soya - sorry.]
6 drops Vanilla essence or extract
Pinch of salt

VARIATION ON A THEME
The recipe above is the basic. You could also:
Soak the cherries in kirsch, amaretto or rum for an hour before starting.
Use apricots and nougat cut into chunks
Try figs
Pear and chocolate
Basically - you see it can be a fruit freestyle.
Use as much of whatever to cover the bottom of the dish you are using.

METHOD
1] Turn on the oven to 175 degrees C.
2] Grease the dish you want to use with butter and then sprinkle a bit of your 3 tbs icing sugar over the buttered dish.
3] Put the cherries [pre-soaked in booze or not] in a bowl with the rest of the 3tbs sugar and roll them round til they are coated.
4] Cover the bottom of your dish with the cherries [or other fruit.]



5] Use a hand whisk if you have one and a big bowl and mix the eggs and sugar together. A spoon will do but you do look more OG with a whisk.
6] Add the milk, vanilla and salt and mix again.
7] Add the flour but don't mix it too much. Over beating it will make the final thing come out doughy and not custardy. The mixture should be quite runny and not like a thick-shake. If it is, add a little bit more milk.
8] Tip the batter over the fruit.
9] Put it in the oven for 40 minutes. It should be all puffy and golden going a bit crisp right round the edges.
10] Leave it to sit for a little while and it will sink on itself a bit - but don't leave it too long, it is better eaten warm!



This recipe is so Booyah I am considering this as the dessert for the next time I have a Lady Gang dinner at my house with the apricots and nougat.

If you make one, please send me a picture!

xx Lektrogirl

VLOGS ARE WORTH IT

Only sometimes

Cette Semaine Au Régine : Mort d'un Pouêt
Uploaded by leregine

Old - but I can't stop thinking about how good this one is.

xx Lektrogirl

MAP FOR PIPPA

View Larger Map

A is the Pigalle Metro and B is the actual breakfast place. The connections on the Metro are super annoying, you'd be better off taking a taxi.

xx Lektrogirl

TOP EUROPEAN BREAKFAST HOLE

Okay so WHENEVER I AM IN PARIS which is not as often as it should be, I ALWAYS MAKE A DETERMINED EFFORT to visit L’Estaminet d’Arômes et Cépages for brunch on Sunday morning.This trip I had a fish brunch - smoked salmon, fig and cinnamon confiture, a home made crab paste, another oniony paste with green things that was so delicious, scrambled egg, a scone, natural yoghurt [with a bloody star anise seed if you please which I struggled around London not so long ago to search for!] fruit salad, salad, coffee, apple juice and fresh bread for €20.



You have to sit at this big shared farmhouse table and all the staff are women. I was lucky enough to sit next to some upper class Frenchies who spoke like the recorded voices on language CD's and listen to them go on about food.



This one was in 2007, with a little Amuse Bouche - a tomato soup, charcuterie, and the jam didn't come on the plate this time for some reason but it was confiture de chataigne.

So where is this incredible place? It is at the back of the Marché des Enfants Rouges on rue de Bretagne in the 3rd. The nearest Metro is Temple. The Marché is apparently a bit of a foodies market - there are loads of great wines and cheese, organic vegies and stuff and some well known Asian 'restaurant' there too. It isn't very big though. In the market building in a shop selling vintage photographs and the owner has always been the rudest prick to me when I have been to the shop and I have never managed to have a proper look at anything however year after year I go back in the hope he will be nice and let me look around and buy something. The market is also pretty close to an APC store, another nice boutique called Shine that has nice jewellery in it even though all the clothes are stuff you can get here - Marc, See by Chloe blah blah.

There is also another store not far called ie which sells all kinds of baby and children's wear from Indian and Japanese fabrics made by a husband and wife team I think. She's Japanese and he is from India. You can also buy there fabric, toys, tiles, posters all from India. A bit like Brick Lane only cuter and not as smelly.



Anyway the phone is ringing. Who is it that cares if I live or die at this hour?

xx Lektrogirl

PIERRE HERMÉ

"He is small and tubby with dark eyes, a goatee beard and a round face. To his army of female fans, he is the embodiment of the masculine ideal. Meet Pierre Hermé, France's most famous cake-maker and the man with a highway to the heart of every Parisienne."

Or I think it is better to take a look at this:


After getting silly stringed and tripping out in the mineral museum, I went to rue Vaugirad and bought some macaroons from Pierre Hermé's 'boutique' for cakes. I considered buying all kinds of presents and then decided I couldn't be bothered and went for just the important stuff - a macaroon taste test.

I bought one of all that were available except for the coffee on cause that would be gross. Pierre Hermé macaroons do not come in nice boxes like Ladurée [Unbelievable! a bit like going to The Cake Hole and getting a Heinz Baked Beans mug instead of some nice vintage china!!!]

The flavours I left with were [clockwise] starting with the white one in the front: Satine [Cream Cheese, Orange & Passionfruit], Carrément Chocolat, Ispahan [Rose, Raspberry & Letchi], Cassis, Milk Chocolate & Passionfruit, Wasabi & Grapefruit, Olive Oil and Vanilla, Rose and the one in the middle is Salted Caramel.



So Wasabi & Grapefruit. It was as gross as it sounded. Sweet, bitter, no wasabi flavour that I could taste and bits of grapefruit peel in the filling.



Rose. Pretty good but I prefer Ladurée. Or maybe I just like that one better cause there is a Ladurée near work. Though this month I read that Pierre Hermé is thinking of opening a London store.



Olive oil and vanilla. BANGING!! So good. The best macaroon I had after the Spruengli cinnamon ones The Cardinal and I ate in bed watching MTV in Zurich until we wanted to die. The olive oil and vanilla was such a good combination - velvety and creamy and not sickly. So good.

I only ate three and couldn't go on and left the others for Goon and Fanny. When they got back from where ever they were, Fanny continued the taste test with great interest and Goon helped clean up the pieces. The least popular was the Passionfruit and Chocolate. Blurgh. I told Fanny I preferred Ladurée and she said the difference is that the Pierre Hermé flavours were more about interesting mixtures. However, I think I want to know what I am getting when I buy a macaroon.

Visit the Pierre Herme website here and order your own. Let me know what you think.

xx Lektrogirl

MUSEE DE MINERALOGIE

I'm in Paris. Today I went to the Musée de Minéralogie at the Pierre & Marie Curie University. I have to say, it was a far more funny and interesting experience than visiting Colette yesterday. Cause 1) three young boys got me with silly string outside the building an raced off on their scooter which was the first time this ever happened to me and I loved it and 2) Although the mineral collection is not as big as the one at the Natural History Museum in London, the collection was much prettier and I liked how it is presented - in glass cases like the Crown Jewels 3) I was able to get the Metro directly to Pierre Hermé and buy some macaroons without queueing. (Taste test and pictures later.)
I am only sorry that I was not able to take some pictures of the beautiful specemins of Malachite that they had in the Musée de Minéralogie collection. There were no pieces of anything from Tasmania in the collection which was another bummer - there is one in the Natural history Museum but there were a quite a few cool Meteorites that were found in Australia on display. Oh - also a bit shit - you could hear the ticket man's radio playing The Beatles etc as you walked around the collection. So not right. Moon Birds would have been better.

xx Lektrogirl

LAMEATNAMES HAS GUEST: AKROE

For the first time, V and I have let someone else have their selection of pictures on our online amateur porn site, lameatnames.com

Akroe lives and works in Paris. He is a graphic designer, has been the art director for electro/hip hop label Institubes, collaborates closely with Sixpack. He was given carte blanche for a month by the department store Galeries Lafayette, designing the windows of the flagship store in Paris. His work is frequently exhibited, in France and abroad. There are two Akroe monographs published by Pyramyd, in its Design&Designer series.



He sent us a gang of pictures, but we only used a about a dozen. He thanked us and asked we send back the ones we didn't use. He also said it is clear he needed to work more on his style. He asked for some pointers in what makes lameatnames porn. I gave them to him. Let's hope his next contribution is better. For the meantime you can see his NSFW contribution here on lameatnames.com.

Also, here are some examples of Akroe's work:







Or you can check his whole portfolio here on www.akroe.net

And no, we don't want your pictures. This isn't an invitation for you to start sending us stuff cause like I started off by saying: we really don't want them.

Only sometimes it will happen that we will be interested to receive someone's collection of pictures, and if there are enough good ones, we will post them for you all to check out.

Please don't be offended that it works like this. We just don't want to get bombarded with more of the same shit we already filter through to find what we consider beautiful enough for the lameatnames gallery.

xx Lektrogirl

DAY OFF

And what a day. Still broke and waiting for pay day I went back into town cause the guy at the Leicester Square Timpsons failed to cut a key correctly and I needed him to do it again. The key he cut as a replacement also didn't work. I hate him. He looks like a large version of the boot makers elves crossed with something out of A League of Gentlemen or something with brown gack all over his glasses. I also visited the Photographer's Gallery which wasn't a lot, then went and had a piece of rhubarb tart at PAUL and a really horrid coffee. After that I went into an antique etching and print place and asked the nerdy guy "I'm looking for pictures of naked ladies or tea parties." I mean what else would I want? A 'Negro' boxer, a prize winning horse or a battle scene - hardly. Anyway the poor guy blushed his face off and couldn't even bring himself to to say 'naked ladies' to his female boss [I bet he is big into vintage porn]. She sent me off to Cecil Court where I found some amazing plant lithographs and maps of Tasmania from the olden days. I didn't buy anything though. I will definitely go back though. I couldn't help but think of the rude man in Paris who has the shop selling old photographs in is it the Marché des Enfants or something? I so feel a trip to Paris coming soon.

Anyway - got home, had a nap but got woken by Superduck asking me about the name of a Café in Paris - which apparently has great hot chocolate. I don't even drink hot chocolate. Then OMG who should appear online by my old friend Noodles who I was able to swap some timely gossip with about one of the more highly strung ex's of my days and a lot of snorting ROLFing done on my part. Noodles also gave me the missing link to a mystery I have been trying to investigate for the last couple of weeks. So I was straight back on the phone to Superduck who could make like Craig David and Fill Me In. Superduck could assure me that XXCENSOREDXX is a piece of work and XXCENSOREDXX only goes for trophy men. HAHA. Good luck to XXCENSOREDXX then. To wind up the conversation, Superduck then went to tell me he wanted to jizz on Maude's face cause she is so cute, sweet, innocent and lovely [it is his cat] and take picture of it. Cool. Thankfully though he sent a text later telling me that even though he was trying hard and was thinking of XXCENSOREDXX Maude's little furry face really put him off and he couldn't do it.

And to put the lid on the day, Mr Chips has been making me a couple of videos on Facebook after we told each other to 'Get Fucked' the other day. In one of them he sang a little song along with what he calls his 'Paedo iPhone Piano' where he said I was like a cat stuck in a petrol can. Which I thought was a very accurate description of me sometimes - I can be that prickly.

All in all I have really enjoyed my day off. I hope to goodness that Oscar is in the office tomorrow. He is the cutest dog in the world.



I have worked in some offices where there have been dogs that have been nothing but trouble - pissing and shitting on the floor, constantly barking, biting people, chewing up staff's belongings - really badly trained dogs. Oscar on the other hand is just perfect! He has such a lovely nature and he is so friendly I love it when he sits at my desk and does my work for me. And I am going to see him tomorrow.

Oh cool - I just got another video from Mr Chips. He told me he is going to shoot me in the face and stab me in the cunt! Mr Chips really puts boys like Prancehall back in the playground when it comes to beef.

xx Lektrogirl

TEKI LATEX

ROTFLOL



The only thing that would make this picture of Julien more perfect would be if he had his dick out in his left hand. I really want to go to Paris soon, and if Bitch Ass Darius comes in June, then I guess that is definitely gonna happen while we go and get all New Jack Swing with the Diamond Grills Boys.

xx Lektrogirl

THE DOOR-ZZZ

You know that band The Doors? Well this story is about as interesting. And it kind of leads into something else I want to show you. Which has nothing to do with the last thing I want to tell you. Firstly however is a video for you to enjoy of someone enjoying The Doors.



[looks a bit like Vincent D'Onofrio if HE was playing the character in The Wedding Crashers that Owen Wilson played where he gets all depressed cause he thinks he has lost the girl.]

So here is my story:

My mother said "Oh that's great! What are you going to do with The Door. You can put it under your bed!!"
Do you wanna know how unwieldy The Door is? Basically, it is exactly the same size as a door frame and incredibly heavy. Really heavy hard wood.
So I drag The Door around in an attempt to put The Door under the bed. In fact, I spend the evening watching CSI and Law and Order looking at The Door out of the corner of my eye thinking "The Door is really long? Is it actually gonna fit under the bed." Indeed The Door was too long to get under the bed. By less than a centimetre. And I don't mean it hung out the end of the bed and I couldn't handle it [though if this were true it would also be TRUE!] I mean that no matter which way I tried, the door was too big, the angles were not right, there was no was I could get The Door under The Frigging Bed. At one point I was even jammed in the bedroom with The Door wedged between the foot of the bed and the door of the room at a steep angle and with all the strength in the world, I almost couldn't move The Door.
With one bruised foot I dragged The Door back to the hallway. I won't even enjoy cutting the stupid thing in half.

Now back when I was at college, people who were into The Doors dressed like this:

Only fast forward to No Hate in 08 and dudes who dress like this - what are they listening to? Well this guy listens to DUBSTEP!! Wow. I know this because he had a CD in his hand BOX OF DUB / DUBSTEP AND FUTUREDUB.
Look at that cardigan.
Look at how his feet are on not on the floor nicely in front of him.

One I rang up a number for a man looking for a woman to go on a date with on an investigatory dare from C.I.B. I wasn't dating anyone and she was with Hot Dog. We picked a guy from The Guide weekly listing thing. So I called and listened to the guy's message he left for me. "Hi I'm blah blah years old. I work at Skoob, which is a bookshop. And I'm going bald, but I don't CARE." We didn't go on a date. Anyway, I imagine at the time that Baldy Skoob man looked like the Dubstep Man.

I'm cooking a fish supper for three wimmin tomorrow night. I have big plans. Let's hope I fair well. Mussels, chermoula and amaretti... Let me leave you with a wimmin's issue, a Chick With A Gun, Pippa Brooks giving it her best shot [literally]:

Pippa looks so much like Detective Calleigh Duquesne from CSI: Miami. And yeah - she hits the bullseye.


Oh and a cool Paris sticker I bought in Paris once years ago.

xx Lektrogirl

MINT AERO

Today many things were longing me out. No internet, jobs piling up, meetings, notes. BLARGH.

BUT then something lovely happened. My number 1 assistant told me that he would take me on a date [I was whinging at lunch and he was joking] then blushed. Then I asked him to get me a chocolate bar from the shops if he really meant it. He said that I was the kind of girl who liked expensive chocoalte though. I told him that I like cheap mint chocolate and an Aero would be amazing. Number 1 assistant came back from the shops, got down on his knee and gave me the chocolate bar. He knew I was down in the dumps today. What an amazing dude. Then I asked me where he would take me on the date. He told me Paris. I asked him if he was going to take me up the Eiffel tower. Sniggers all round the office. I asked him if it was going to be a day trip or a whole weekend away. He said that it was going to depend on how hard I was to crack. Mega LOLZ. I laughed for ages about that.

Then the second amazing thing happened - XXCENSOREDXX sent me a random email! Hello! Good times.

xx Lektrogirl

HOME AGAIN

I'm back from Paris - it was amazing! I didn't do loads of shopping for clothes - my bags were too full of samples. Instead I bought loads of jewellery. I was flipping through the pictures on my camera on the train home and I really didn't take many this trip -which is not at all like me! So in a snap decision I thought it would be a great idea to do a photoshoot in the toilets of the Eurostar featuring my new jewellery.


I was born in the Chinese year of the Rat. "Being the first sign of the Chinese zodiac, rats are leaders, pioneers and conquerors. They are charming, passionate, charismatic, practical and hardworking. Rat people are endowed with great leadership skills and are perhaps the most organized and systematic of the twelve signs."


Bijoux By Sophie. The shop that sells this jewellery is always closed when I'm in Paris. This time it was open and look what I got!!


My new bakelite cicada. There was a whole felt covered in them at the antique jewellery store. I'm now in love with it and will collect more. I daren't tell you how much this was...

xx Lektrogirl

SERIOUSLY LAGGING

Today Goon and I are sitting at the stand with our eyes propped open with matchsticks. I'm sure that Katharine and Roxy are probably the same on their plane to New York! I heard them getting up at the hotel around 5am this morning. I had only got back from the party about an hour before.


Our stand.

As always it was so cool to see my dog Koyote. And as always he had some beautiful things to say to me. Last time it was he thinks I dance like a German girl. This time he found it hilarous that Paul dumped me twice. Then he was kind of inferring by vibe that I was a salope, [I couldn't deny it outright but would have liked to] and then when I explained that my life has changed he called me a "Retired Slut". It makes me sound like j'ai une chatte comme les abricots secs.


Connard qui j'adore.

Also, Fanny came and she wore her KH tshirt too! Here is Goon telling you all what to do - send me an email and tell me how you are.


The new E t-shirt is gonna be a big hit guys. Believe dat.

xx Lektrogirl

I'M NEVER COMING HOME

C'EST TROP RUPTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today there were four meufs who where super excited to see all the Katharine Hamnett stuff - They were saying it was really new rave. Then they said "C'est trop RUPTURE!" which means nothing but sounds awesome. Teenie Slang.

Today on the stand was again good for sales - but there is still loads of time for making trouble. Tous les PD's aiment Goon! Mais il n'y a pas assez des hot straight guys. I made Goon horrified with stories of guys I had slept with who got really small penises. Then YSL's old boyfriend came to the stand to meet Katharine. He is the president of Fashion or something in France.

Now I am watching Italy play Les Blues le foot with Goon eating ham and cheese sandwiches. Soon we go and meet Koyote and chill at some party. But not too late cause we gotta start the stand at 9am again tomorrow...

xx Lektrogirl.

NO MORE FASHION VICTIMS

WOO HOO IM IN PARIS

And I am so sorry for not being able to update my blog as regularly as usual. Today I saw some old man with only two half legs burning along the road in a mechanised wheelchair that had a bumper sticker "i heart coffeeshops" and on the train into Paris was some Frenglish graffitti "NO MORE VIOLENT". Goon is here with us and I can give him hugs all day and tell him I love him and wish I saw him more often when we aren't busy selling. I've been spying on the two guys in the Loomstate stand - kind of cute! - and the quality of French men is ASTOUNDING as per usual. Katharine has been outrageous - if we don't keep an eye on her she runs off every other minute to have a fag outside and once we had to call her and say "Where are you?" and she had decided to hang out with the security guard called Camel and get him to check peoples bags for something to do. I got the morning off today and spent some time sitting in a cafe drinking coffee and eating tartine getting to check the split ends in my hair - sounds boring but I was loving it - a total change of pace from the hectic spin of the show. And then bizarrely I ended up buying a bunch of stuff in the SONIA RYKIEL ENFANTS store - all for myself - weird pompom brooches and a belt that I'm gonna wear as a headband. I havn't hit any knicker shops yet - I'm saving that for Monday which I will have all to myself.

More soon when I can.

xx Emma

YOU'LL HATE IT ANYWAY

Even though most of you Englishes hate the French and even more, hate French rap, this is my blog and I love France, I love French men, I love TTC [but I hate French women and any squat toilets remaining in France.]

I find this hilarious.



"Teki" is so ugly I can't believe it.

My father also hates the French however and says "At least I can respect the Germans. In the war, at least you knew whos side they were on. The French could never make up their minds." My father is 80 and lied about his age to join the army at the time of WWII. Ask him about the Maginot Line. He nearly cries laughing.

Wikipedia says: Generally considered one of the great failures of military history, the term "Maginot Line" is now sometimes used as a metaphor for something that is confidently relied upon, but ends up being ineffective. External observers came to believe the French propaganda: the line would make France impervious to invasion. When France fell in only a month, the blame was squarely laid upon the line.


Would make a great cubby house. but so inneffective it wouldn't keep your little sister out.

xx La Lektrogirl

P.S. To all the Frenchies out there [at least the ones with regular toilets] JE T'AIME. If you wanna take me to one of these little cool cloches and make out just lemme know.

PARIS POTTY

I'm back from Paris and so frickin' proud of myself for managing one of these old style squat loo's there you wouldn't believe it.

It is a long story that started many years ago when I guess I was like 8 or 10. We used to go campling at this awesome place called Park Beach every so often at our parents friends shack in Tasmania. I used to LOVE this. Often we'd play Dukes of Hazzard in the sand around the shack with Matchbox cars, dig really deep holes in the sand dunes, and stick our fingers in the sea anenomes in the tide pools. I remember some involved game about Ed the talking horse that covered all these bases. What I wasn't so keen on was the portaloo thing that we had to use. A bit like Glastonbury. Gross. On an urgent visit to the loo, I had a really big freak out experience where a little frog got caught between my foot and my thong [flip-flip or jandle depending on your country.] It was cold and a bit squishy. Then the toilet was totally overflowing and I really needed to pee and was quite traumatised. So then my mother was getting all mad with me cause I was getting all upset. Like stress oder was?! I had to squat in the bushes. I refused to do it wearing thongs in case I got wee on my foot so I was wearing wellington boots. Somehow I managed to piss entirely in my wellingtons. Not a good look. From that day on, I believed I was anatomically incorrect and unable to wee squatting.

The next time this became an issue, was when I was in Tokyo in 1995. I was so worried. But I did it!! In jeans!! WOO HOO!! Only that is 12 years ago now.

This weekend in Paris I was out walking and suddenly dying for a piss. Being in a quite touristy area all on my own, everywhere had signs saying "TOILETS ARE FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY" so I picked somewhere to get an omlette mixte and before I sat down I asked to nip to the loo. I was fit to burst. I opened the door only to be faced with the most archaic loo I have ever seen in the Western world. It also smelt that way. I had no choice. My omlette was cooking... BUT I DID IT. I was so thrilled I even sent Mum a text. She wrote back "Go girl". At the end of my meal, I even wanted to say to the waiter "Thanks for the mega experience dude." But I didn't.


xx Lektrogirl

Les Matins de Paris

Teki Latix featuring Lio:


Back at my desk this morning with a pile of stuff to do, and my head is full of this!!

You wanna see Lio back in the day, click here.

xx Lektrogirl

Top Sausages / Diamond Grilling

I'm going to Paris this weekend to hang out with my friends DJ Goon and Koyote who are holding the 6th Diamond Grilling party. [See flyers below.] Awesome.

OHHH SPIRITUAL - Warren G just came on my MP3 player. No messing.

It is nice to see LuLu Deluxe has uploaded the Wayne and Trev comics to Flickr. Folks - Australia is JUST like this:



Check the whole set here. Wanna root?!

TOP SAUSAGES

1] Sausages with Lu for breakfast in Dresden

2] Migros sausages smuggled back from Switzerland

3] Pork and Fennel sausages from the Italian Deli near work

4] Any sausages cooked on a barbeque within 2 metres of an Eski packed full of Cascade lager. Or Boags.

5] Salami is also not bad

6] Those fucking Weissewurst that the dudes made me eat with my bare hands in Hamburg. AWESOME!

And so here is Diamond Grilling:




xx Lektrogirl