LATER THAT DAY

Ahhh yes... two little lesbians. Me about 4 and my sister. This may or not be the same day that a goose but my hand. I have to say, getting goosed is really painful. Their jaw is really strong and they have almost got things like teeth. And I was just a delicate infant afterall.

I went into town today and had a look round in the antique shops there. Loads of old china [my new obsession] and in every corner it seems was another Golliwog!

Amazing hair.

I don't know what you are allowed to say or not in the UK about Golliwogs. I'm guessing nothing - tho I have seen them for sale in a special cabinet in Hamley's [Obvs the owners of Hamley's have issues. What do they think is gonna happen at night when all the lights go out? The Golliwogs are gonna race upstairs and steal Barbie's gash and make a Brats Doll?]


Before I get shanked for talking about Golliwogs I better start talking about something else... [FYI I used to have a girl black Cabbage Patch Kid and a white boy one.]Above is my new Paris brooch which is a little book with the postcards of Paris in it. The only thing that could have made this brooch better would be if it was scenes of Tasmania - then it would have had Mount Wellington, The Botanical Gardens and mini Mount Fuji, Port Arthur [where that nutter shot eveyrone], The Salmon Ponds [where they breed fish and there is slime on all the water and you can feed the salmon Twisties and they go crazy for them!], The Shot Tower [where they used to make bullets in the olden days], The Derwent Bridge [the day a boat crashed into it and people died when they drove over the edge of the bridge] and The Casino.


Then Mum and I spent the arvo gardening. I dressed for the occasion in a pale blue cotton sailor dress and leather gloves. I looked so amazing. I was out on the street pruning back this massive elm tree that was hanging too far over the fence.

Normally I would never allow myself to be photographed with my hair tied back - however this was for work purposes. I hate the idea of getting spiders in my hair. And of course we are talking about Australian spiders.

After hacking back the tree, Mum instructed me to rip out all the vine she didn't want from the side fence which isn't as easy as it sounded. I had to identify the outcast that was growing through the ivy from the jasmine which was also all mixed in and rip out the right kind. Then I had to rake the nature strip which sounds like something Swedish people do in the forest, but sadly no - in Australia some houses have the garden outside the fence we have to take care of too which really belongs to the council. Then I had to rake all the lawn where Mum had mowed it - and she is verging on being like David Beckham mowing the lawn in rows. By about this point I starting to feel very Christmassy and was thinking "Yeah this feels just like a normal Christmas. WOO HOO!!" I was quite excited. Then I had to bash in these stakes to tie back these plants. I told Mum I was going to whack her in the back of her head with the mallet for a joke. How we laughed. Then I had to use bits of rag not unlike Victorian strips [joke for Reu and Paca then! Good Times!] to tied back the apple tree. Then Mum made me cut all the dead heads off all the lavender which was amazing - the smell was incredible - not like a Granny's knicker drawer at all but really sharp and fresh lavender. I was telling Mum what a good time I had working in the garden - I grew up doing this stuff. I was really happy. So today for one moment I knew who I was.

xx Lektrogirl